Strength Through Music
by Koala75
Summary: "Oh, my God. You like Effy." she breathed, loud enough for Logan to hear. He snapped out of his thoughts, and looked at her, waving his hands and shaking his head. Camille wasn't buying it. She could see it in his actions. FRIENDSHIP/ANGST
1. Chapter 10: Nothing Even Matters

**Author's Note: Has anyone seen Pulp Fiction? If not, the movie is amazing, I'm recommending it! Anyway, much like Pulp Fiction, this story is NOT in chronological order. I'll make it easy to figure out, but until the end, you little detectives need to put your thinking caps on! If you really pay attention, you'll catch hints I'll drop, and you just might figure the mystery out early.**

**P.S. The title comes from a song by Amanda Palmer. I'll tell you why later.**

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Chapter 10: Nothing Even Matters

Logan ran from the building, stopping once he reached the end of the street. He panted for breath, looking around for Camille's car. A short way down the road, he heard the sound of tires screeching, and his heart sank. Either there was a high speed chase, a reckless driver, or Camille. Considering that she was after him, it could've been labeled as all of the above. He felt his mouth dry, and beads of sweat begin to form on his forehead. Swerving around the corner, to his slight surprise, was the Big Time Rush car. Camille drove, staring ahead with narrowed eyes. When she spotted him at the corner of the street, she hit the brake, abruptly parking in front of the other parked cars. Camille's eyes said it all: Logan was in deep trouble. More trouble than he'd ever found himself in, as a matter of fact.

"Was Carlos telling the truth? What am I saying - of course, he was telling the truth! What the hell were you doing at a strip club? Did the boys leave you there? Did you stay there _willingly_?" Camille shrieked, capturing the attention of a few people. Logan shook his head, ushering them along before looking back at his girlfriend. She raised her hand and slapped him, causing him to stumbled backwards. "Logan Mitchell, why were you there? Was it because of that girl?" Tears were cascading out of Camille's eyes now. Her mascara and eyeliner streamed down her cheeks, and Logan sighed regretfully. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Camille.

"Cam- Camille! Listen," Logan demanded, pulling her towards him. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close. She shook her head, trying to pry herself away, but he refused to let go. "I only stayed to talk to Effy, okay? It sounds lame, but you were on my mind the whole time we drove to the club. I felt so bad for going, but I had to talk to Effy. Just talk, that's it. I promise." Camille trembled lightly in his arms, and he could clearly see this wasn't her overacting. She was genuinely upset at what she heard.

Closing his eyes, Logan squeezed Camille's shoulders, his eyes opening and staring directly into hers. Her makeup was ruined, and as a kind gesture, he licked his thumb and wiped as much as he could away. Seeing her so upset plagued him with an entirely fresh wave of guilt. He'd grown to care a lot about her over the past few months, and he hated the idea of hurting her. She was his girlfriend, after all. She devoted herself to him entirely, and he loved that about her. He'd hoped that when he got a girlfriend, she would be a fan of him, and Camille was definitely that. She had a nice smile, a fun personality, and was his biggest fan. He couldn't ask for more. So why didn't he put her feelings into consideration when he went to see Effy? Scolding himself, he shook his head and pulled Camille into another hug.

"Camille, I'm sorry." he whispered. Logan heard a giggle escape her, and again he breathed against her ear. "I'm sorry." Camille stared up at Logan, a small smile on her face. She leaned up, kissing him. One of his hands cupped her face, and the other trailed down her side, stopping at her waist. After a long while, their lips parted, and Logan smiled down at his girlfriend. Camille returned the smile, then raised her hand and slapped him again.

"Next time, please just fill me in on what you're doing." she requested, walking back to the car. Logan rubbed the red mark on his cheek, shaking his head as he opened the door for Camille and climbed into the drivers' side of the car. "You know, it's only nine-thirty. The Palm Woods curfew isn't until eleven." She grinned taking Logan's free hand and squeezing it. He glanced at her, understanding what she meant.

"Where'd you wanna go?" Logan asked, stopping as the car in front of him did. Camille shrugged, intertwining her fingers with his. "Ice cream?" She smiled and nodded, and Logan proceeded to drive towards the nearest ice cream shop. As he drove down the crowded roads, he noticed Camille watching him. Once they reached the next stoplight, he turned to face her, giving her a questioning stare.

"You've never told me what it was like in Sherwood. I've told you plenty of times about Connecticut." Camille complained, frowning. She had always wanted to know more about Logan. That was the point in being with someone, and being in love. At least that's what it meant to her. She wanted to know about Logan, because she was sincerely interested. Yet, with their schedules and his quiet demeanor, she never got to know much. She knew his likes and many of his dislikes, and that he wanted to be a doctor, but she didn't know much more. Did he have brothers or sisters? Was he allergic to anything? Little things they were, really, but Camille was still curious. She had to wonder if he wanted to know as much about her. It seemed all they really did was talk about whatever was going on with her acting or his music, and kiss.

"Well… What do you want to know? There's not a lot to talk about." Logan admitted, turning onto a new street and spotting an ice cream shop. He pulled into the parking lot, taking the keys out of the ignition and stepping out of the car. Camille met him on the sidewalk and took his hand, quieter than she normally would be. Seeing something was wrong, he talked about the first thing that came to mind. "Sherwood schools were really small. I didn't like that, to be honest. It only let everyone know who was the smartest. I'm not trying to sound conceited, but it's true. A lot of bigger kids used to try to steal my lunch or make me do their homework. I was really lucky to have the guys." He held the door open for Camille as he spoke, and she listened with interest.

Picking out a small table, Camille sat down while Logan ordered them two plain, vanilla ice creams. He paid with the money he had left, and took his seat across from Camille, letting her take his hand again. Almost instantly, the waiter came with two small dishes of ice cream. Logan quickly took a bite, savoring the taste. Camille called the waiter back over, requesting nuts as a topping. She saw Logan give her an apologetic smile, but she shook her head, assuring him it was okay. He took another bite of his ice cream once she got hers back, watching her indulge in the treat. Thinking again about how little Camille felt she knew about Logan, she realized she hadn't given too much about herself away either. Granted, the situation never came up, but after all the times she'd brought him ice cream and had nuts with hers, she figured he'd notice. Shaking the silly thoughts from her head, Camille chuckled.

"What?" Logan asked, his spoon in his mouth. Camille giggled again, reaching over and wiping the stray ice cream from the corner of his mouth. He felt his cheeks heating up, and cleared his throat. "Err, did you want to know anything else?" Hearing his voice crack, Camille laughed again. This was why she liked Logan so much. He made her laugh, and it was effortless. It didn't matter that he didn't know a lot of the little things. That was what a relationship was about.

"You know something?" Camille asked, a dreamy smile plastered onto her face as she stirred her ice cream around. Logan paused, observing her. This was somewhat typical behavior for her, but he was more used to seeing her in the crazy acting light. "I love you. I like that I can pick up random facts about you, and it just draws me to you more. I like learning more about you. All the small things make the craziness of Hollywood worth it." She took another bite of her ice cream, continuing to mix the nuts in.

"Are you okay, Camille? You sound, well, no offence - but, you sound kind of drunk." Logan stated, observing her carefully. Her jaw dropped, and again she leaned across the table, this time to slap him. "Ow! I said no offence!" He tentatively rubbed around the red mark, knowing that the previous mark had just faded. Seeing Camille's frown slowly turn up, he knew she wasn't seriously mad. That in itself was a relief. Logan had enough of girls being mad at him for one day. "So, how's your audition spree going? I remember you said something about a lot of new shows needing actresses." Immediately, the dramatic girl dropped her spoon back into the dish, quickly becoming excited.

"Yeah, I've got a few scripts back at my apartment. There's one for this new show called House of Anubis. It looks pretty stupid, but I'm going to audition anyway. Maybe I'll at least get a minor role. Oh! There's this other script that has robots and spy princes." Camille spoke animatedly, and Logan laughed at her eagerness. If anything, that was one of the main things that attracted him to her. She was so full of energy, and her quirkiness was more than lovable. "So, do you think you'd want to help run lines with me?" Snapping out of his thoughts, Logan blinked before registering Camille's question.

"Maybe tomorrow? We're supposed to record a breakup song with Gustavo in the morning." he answered, giving her another apologetic smile and shrug. Camille shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. As long as we can hang out. In case you haven't noticed, we're a lot luckier than Kendall and Jo. At least we don't have to settle for one minute dates." she reminded Logan, a hint of sadness for her friends appearing on her face. She'd seen relationships like that struggle and ultimately fail all the time. Kendall and Jo were different, but even so, they were still human, and they were still dating in Hollywood. Seeing the time on the clock behind Logan, Camille's eyes became just a bit more sad. "I think we should go. Dad probably doesn't want me out too late with my boyfriend." Though her tone was joking, she knew there was no chance Logan would try anything sexual with her. She knew it wasn't about her; she understood he was more of a passive boy, and in contrast to James, he wanted to hold off on anything passed kissing. At times like this, Camille almost wished he was a little bit more like James, but she couldn't complain. She had Logan, and that was enough.

Although Camille had never admitted her desire for Logan to be more assertive, he suspected she wanted that from him. He couldn't change that he was so docile, but it wasn't like he never tried. It just wasn't in his character. If it ever did come out, it would be for a reason of extreme importance. Trying to keep himself from becoming too upset with his personality, Logan took Camille's hand and led her back to the car. While he started the car, Camille had become quiet again. He drove down a few streets before realizing it, but before he could say something to make up for it, she spoke.

"You never said you loved me too." she muttered, remembering she'd said the three words that she hoped to get a response to. Though the whole conversation had been pushed into a different direction, he still hadn't said it back. Logan's eyes widened, and he replayed the memory of her saying 'I love you' in his head. He was never one to really have love on his mind, seeing as he was only seventeen. It seemed too early to fall in love, but maybe he did love Camille. He certainly did care about her, and she'd become important in his life. What she said in the ice cream shop was true. The best part about their friendship blossoming into a romantic relationship was that he began to learn more about her as a person. The small things with her tended to make his day better. Slowing down at a stoplight, Logan turned to Camille and grinned.

"I love you too."

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**What? Wasn't this supposed to be a LoganxOC fic? Yes, it is. I started it out this way for two reasons. First, because I'm hoping it'll ease the worries and hesitations of those Logan lovers who aren't always comfortable with LoganxOC (and oddly enough, there is an abundance of them). Trust me, this will get much better. Second, because I like Logan and Camille, and wanted to see if I could do them justice in my writing. Let me know if I did! I can't say I'm sure, but I still liked writing this. Next Monday (maybe sooner), I will update with two - count 'em! - two chapters!**


	2. Chapter 6: Heavy

**Author's Note: Just so you know, these two chapters will most likely be the only two I'll post in order. I just can't feel comfortable having one without the other.**

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Chapter 6: Heavy

"Logan? Logan!" Carlos shouted, snapping his friend out of his thoughts. Logan lifted his head, opening his eyes. Carlos, James, and Kendall were standing around him. "Jenny's leaving today with Buddy. We're gonna say goodbye! Come on!" Lazily, Logan glanced over to the lobby, seeing Jenny Tinkler and Buddy Simmons with their luggage.

Just an hour after his arrival, Death Smash (the band which Jenny had been accepted into) offered to take him along. Apparently, they knew jazz bands that were looking for tuba players. That problem took care of itself, much to the relief of the boys. Helping Jenny was hard enough. It wasn't that they weren't happy to help out a friend, it just brought up things that were an uncomfortable subject now that they finally came up. Weighted down with thoughts, Logan sluggishly pulled himself up from his lawn chair and into the lobby.

"Thanks a bunch, guys! Buddy and I are super excited!" Jenny squealed, bouncing around. Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were carefully distanced from her, knowing all too well what could happen around the accident-prone girl. Buddy was also a couple feet away from her.

"Yeah guys, I'm glad Carlos encouraged me to come out here. We owe you big time." Buddy added, grinning. The boys gave the two a sheepish smile, shrugging it off. Jenny finished signing herself out of the hotel, and she set down the pen, picking up her bags to leave. Buddy was already walking away, giving his final waves as he neared the door. The boys were waving back, until Logan finally voiced what was on his mind. He figured this was one of his last chances. If he got nothing, then that was it. There was nothing more he could think on the matter, and he'd have to completely let it go.

"Jenny!" Logan called, reaching his hand out and taking a step forward. His friends looked to him, almost knowing exactly what he was going to ask. Jenny and Buddy turned, their expressions curious. Logan was suddenly hesitant, but hastily straightened up and continued. "Uh… Has um- Effy been… found?" Immediately, Jenny's eyes widened, and Buddy froze. Their reactions didn't give any of the boys a positive impression. The two approached them, exchanging looks before explaining.

"Effy reappeared the day you guys left, now that I think about it." Jenny began. Logan and the others gulped, thankfully without either Jenny or Buddy noticing. Again, the two looked to each other, as if reading one another's thoughts and seeking approval at revealing what they knew. "She took Oliver away with her, and everyone found out because, well-" She hesitated, and in the second she did, the sound of a loud horn blasted. Outside of the Palm Woods was Death Smash's tour bus. The two older members came running in, lifting Jenny onto their shoulders.

"Time to go Jen! Come along! Our flight is in ten minutes! We've got to haul ass!" the blonde one shouted, grinning. Hearing this, both Jenny and Buddy's eyes widened. Ten minutes wasn't enough time to get to the airport! The boys tried calling out to Jenny and Buddy, wanting them to finish the story on Effy, but the two men were louder than they were. Following them out to the bus, security guards stopped them from getting too close to the band. "Oy! Thanks for hooking us up with the talent, mates! See you later, yeah?" The grimy, blonde male was hanging out of the window, waving off the boys. Jenny poked her head out of the other window, breaking the glass when she waved.

Seemingly, Buddy and Jenny's excitement got the better of them, otherwise they wouldn't have led on the boys the way they did, just to run off at the last second. Either that, or the story with Effy wasn't quite important. She ran away though, and took her brother! That _was_ serious! Since they were only sixteen, soon to all be seventeen, Effy was still a minor. There was so much trouble she was getting herself into, if she got caught. The boys nervously glanced at around, wondering what the other had on their mind. Really, it was along the same lines. All of them were thinking about Effy. She'd been their friend. She'd been one of them. She was family, just as they all were to each other.

And they left her behind.

Feeling a twinge of regret, Logan abandoned the boys, heading back to his chair by the pool. His friends instantly followed him though. They had known this moment was coming since Jenny arrived. An abrupt blast from the past put a lot into perspective, Effy being the main point. James, Kendall, and Carlos surrounded Logan when he sat down, certain he was going to fight against their concern. Each one of them was torn over the memory and how things played out, but only Logan refused to talk about it. The subject was completely tabooed with him. In the beginning, it was him _and_ James who didn't tolerate the mention of her, but after a while, Kendall and Carlos managed to get James to speak. This feat was much harder with Logan. He was smart, and knew how to evade the questions. Since their past had found them, they firmly believed now was the time to really come to terms with everything that had happened since leaving Sherwood.

"You know we called… Just a week after we left." James stated quietly, his tone serious. There were different levels of seriousness with James. Most of them had a comical appeal, but this one was the only level that held nothing amusing. He was being as serious as possible, which gave away how important the topic was.

"Did she answer? Did _anyone_ answer?" Logan immediately demanded, reminding the boys of their failure. None of them answered quick enough. He stood up, not aiming to walk away, but to be in their faces. This was the second rare moment that showed how serious everything was. "We left Effy behind! We got to L.A, and we forgot all about her! What kind of friend does that?" They had all forgotten Effy, but judging from Logan's tone, he blamed himself for all of it. The day Kendall had opted them all to go to L.A, they had been spending their time away from Effy. Her personal struggles were difficult to cope with, and since they'd had a private talk about her, they mutually decided that short, healthy periods of time away from her each day was best. Not thinking or worrying about their friend was unnatural to them, but it took off a great deal of stress.

"Jenny just explained why she never answered-" Kendall tried to argue, but Logan interrupted him.

"What about her mom? Why didn't she answer?" he questioned, his eyes narrow slits.

_Fuck, Jenny, why couldn't you finish explaining?_ Kendall thought, watching Logan's anger begin to boil to the surface. He held up his hands, letting his friend have the small victory. However, Carlos had something to respond with.

"Where do you think Effy went?" he asked, his question sudden. Looking at him, the boys were pulled away from the intensifying argument. Carlos continued, "Jenny said she took Oliver and ran away again. Where do you think she ran off to? Do you think… maybe she tried to come here?" Kendall and James glanced at each other, considering the idea, but Logan scoffed.

"Five months to get from Minnesota to L.A? She wasn't stupid. She wouldn't have… walked…" Logan's voice trailed off as he thought about his objection. Would she have walked? The question now haunted him. Effy and Oliver attempting to walk from Minnesota to L.A? He doubted the two could've survived. Horrified of the idea, he shoved it out of his mind. Five months without a word from Effy, and he'd managed just fine with keeping the memory of her at bay. One day, and now she was all he could think about. The guilt was going to kill him, but only if he allowed it. "Can we just drop it?"

Sighing, the boys gave in. Logan could be stubborn, and they weren't about to fight against it. They knew the point when it was time to call it quits. Perhaps tomorrow they'd try again, but their friend was done for the day. Saying what he'd said was progress, as little as it was. The trio watched as he stormed off, shaking their heads and plopping down around the fire pit. Logan fumed about anything he could conjure up that annoyed him about his friends, and violently pressed the elevators' button. He'd walk around Camille's floor. She was supposed to be at an audition, but it was better than going to his own floor and risking seeing the boys.

Music that didn't fit Logan's mood at all played, aggravating him even more. He growled in response to it, folding his arms over his chest. Usually, he was fine with the music that played; in some instances, it calmed him down. Even the sensation of being on the elevator calmed him on most days. However, today, these little things seemed to push him further into annoyance. He was more or less a ticking time bomb, and soon he would reach his breaking point. The subject of Effy was, clearly, a sensitive thing for him. In all honesty, James, Carlos, and Kendall didn't understand why. They were all friends with Effy just the same, and there had never been hints to a romantic relation between her and Logan. Kendall and Carlos assumed it was out of the sheer fact that he had befriended her first, and they only followed suit after he broke the ice. James, on the other hand, could see slight romantic tension when he thought back. Though, it was a long shot. When he brought it up with Logan all those months ago, he denied it easily. Logan was never a good liar, so that conflicted with the theory of romantic relations.

At last, the elevator doors opened, and Logan quickly stepped out. Rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger, he leisurely paced through the empty halls, making sure to take plenty of time. He wasn't going to be ready to face the guys again for a while. His thoughts were blocked for the moment. All he wanted to do was concentrate on his feet. That was a harmless enough thing to have in mind. It couldn't remind him of anything, which was exactly what he needed.

Life was funny sometimes, though. There were situations that came up, and a topic was touched upon, then something relevant randomly showed up hours, days, or weeks later. It was coincidental, but occasionally eerie nonetheless.

Then there were times when life wasn't funny at all, and the topics that came up held relevant situations that gave off something more uncomfortable than just eeriness. Some would call it coincidental, some would say fate was foreshadowing important events. Logan believed it was just his rotten luck. Of course, a part of him knew it wasn't all rotten. Part of him was - aside from the natural shocked, almost horrified, slightly weirded out, and minutely confused and disbelieving - something akin to happy.

When he rounded the hall, Logan saw Camille leaving the second elevator. She was talking to someone, and when the person stepped out and into his sight, Logan's eyes widened. Camille waved goodbye to him, and upon sighting her boyfriend, she squealed and ran to him. His attention remained pinned to the boy she had been talking to, who was walking to the end of the hall. The boy tapped on the door, and after a long moment, it opened and he stepped inside. By then, Camille had grown impatient with Logan and not having his attention. She slapped him, as she typically would, gaining his focus.

"That's Oliver." Logan breathed, bringing out a confused expression on Camille's face. He moved passed her, slowly stepping towards the end of the hall. Oliver had disappeared into the last room, 3L. "Camille? Could you… get the guys? Quick?" Seeing his lack of expression, and the distant tone in his voice, she could see something about the situation was urgent. Without asking any question, she ran down the hall, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. While waiting for her, Logan found himself unable to move forward. The door was still a couple feet from him, but he simply couldn't walk the distance. If it was indeed Oliver, then Effy had to be with him. What was he going to say to her? His knees were beginning to buckle, and tremble like jell-o. Since learning to perform in front of a crowd, nerves had been lost to him, but this was different. There was going to be some awkward tension at the very least, especially since he didn't know what he was going to say. Behind him, Logan heard the sounds of footsteps running to him. He'd been standing, petrified, longer than he thought.

"Dude, what's going on?" Carlos asked, stepping in front of Logan.

"Camille said something about you knowing the new kid. She said you called him Oliver." Kendall stated, letting Logan know that they knew what he was thinking. It wasn't like Logan to assume, so they trusted his judgment. However, there was something off about suddenly seeing Oliver. Knowing there had been plenty of stress created from seeing Jenny and being reminded of Sherwood, the boys had a slight suspicion that Logan was having a meltdown. If this person wasn't Oliver, then they'd have to focus on helping Logan relax and return to his senses. If it was Oliver… They didn't know what they were going to do. "So who's gonna knock?" The boys looked to each other, slowly approaching 3L. They stood there for a while, staring at the gold letter and number on the door.

"Guys? What are you doing?" Camille asked, panting. She was out of breath, having ran back from their room. Kendall, James, and Carlos had left her behind upon hearing what she had to say about Logan. Camille caught her breath, and the boys continued to stare at the door. "Okay, you guys are acting really weird. I'll be in my apartment if you need me." She threw her hands up, quitting with trying to get their attention and leaving them. Before the boys could say or do anything else, the door opened.

Standing before them, was a tall, fair skinned boy. He was their age, without a doubt. His large, blue eyes widened after observing Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan for a moment. He knew who they were. His hand brushed back his light brown hair, and his mouth opened, prepared to speak. He struggled though, closing and opening his mouth a couple times before finding the right words to say. Just before he could usher out a single syllable, the boys saw him shoved to the floor by a hand, and the door slammed in their faces. They could hear it lock quickly, but they couldn't hear any voices. The boys exchanged glances again, their eyes full of disbelief. It _was_ Oliver. Not only was it Oliver, but someone had rammed him aside and to the ground. Concerned, Kendall rapped his knuckle on the door.

No answer.

"Come on, we know you're in there!" James shouted, hitting the door. Still no answer.

"Dude, open up! Oliver! You remember us, right? Logan, James, Carlos, and Kendall?" Carlos questioned, kicking the door. Without warning, the sound of the lock clicking was heard, and the door rapidly opened just enough to reveal a hand holding a pistol.

"Fuck!" Kendall cried, pulling the boys back.

"Leave. Now." a toneless voice ordered. It was a strong voice, and though it was lighter than their voices, they could tell it wasn't Effy's. This voice was too masculine. Nervously, Kendall neared the door, much to the disapproval of his friends. They shook their heads, trying to keep him back.

"We just wanted to see Oliver! We know him, that's all!" Kendall reasoned, holding up his hands. The person holding the pistol pulled back the hammer, and hearing the snap, the boys scrambled over each other, fleeing down the hall. None of them stopped until they reached the lobby, gasping for breath when they finally came to a halt. Logan held his sides, coughing as he tried to regulate his breath. Kendall and Carlos were also coughing, leaning against the walls. James plopped onto one of the chairs, covering his face with his hands. "What the hell was that?" Logan, Carlos, and James shook their heads.

"Bitters! Mr. Bitters?" Logan called, turning to the beefy man sitting behind the front desk. Mr. Bitters peered up, rolling his eyes when he realized it was only them. "There's this psycho living in 3L! He- he has our friend with-"

"Stop. Stop there." Mr. Bitters interrupted, holding up a lease. The boys watched him, frowning. "The gunslinger in 3L is a new guest. He requested to not be bothered, and would call if he needed anything. I understand why he said to make sure Big Time Rush didn't know he or his friend were here." Bitters set the lease down, folding his hands over it.

"Wait, that nutcase knows who we are?" James demanded, his eyes bulging from their sockets. He looked to his friends, seeing that they were just as panicked as he was.

"Was there a girl with them? When did they check in?" Logan questioned, determined to find out what was going on. Mr. Bitters rolled his eyes again and shook his head.

"The young man specifically requested that I not answer any questions, should the situation arrive. I didn't realize he knew what he was talking about." Bitters responded condescendingly. Logan's eyes narrowed. "I can't give out any of information." James and Carlos scoffed.

"You tell us about girls that check in all the time!" Carlos argued, crossing his arms.

"Well those young ladies don't know how to protect their privacy. Your little friend knows how L.A. works." Bitters stated, picking the lease up and placing it into a folder that held other papers. Those papers were what had been filled out to get the room. The boys needed to see it all. Catching the drift of what Bitters was saying, Logan's eyes narrowed, and he pulled a twenty dollar bill from his pocket, pushing it towards the greedy hotel manager. Bitters picked it up, looked it over, then handed the folder to Logan. "Have a Palm Woods day!" he said merrily before disappearing into his office.

Snatching the folder, Logan and the boys bolted out to the pool. The four sat around their fire pit, and Logan opened the folder, pulling out the lease. He handed it to James and Carlos, while he and Kendall looked at the forms the mystery person filled out. For the most part, the paper was blank. What little answers that were provided didn't tell them much at all. Slowly, it dawned upon Kendall and Logan that perhaps the unknown person had paid Bitters off so he wouldn't have to give out any information. From the form, all the two discovered was that whoever Oliver was with wrote that he was nineteen, and he worked as a musician. Nothing else was really there. After reading through the almost blank pages, the boys swapped their papers.

The lease gave more information, though it wasn't any more valuable. 3L was a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment. That meant Effy was either sharing a room with one of the two, or she wasn't even there. She'd never been without Oliver though, and from what Jenny said, she'd taken him from their mother! So where was she? Was this mystery boy holding Oliver hostage? If that was the case, perhaps he'd done something to Effy. Once that thought entered Logan's head, the color drained from his face. He lowered the paper, his heart sinking with it.

"Hey! Guys!" Carlos whispered urgently, pulling the lease from Logan's hands. They looked at their friend, wondering what had him so excited. "3L is one of the apartments with a balcony. That one!" He pointed to one of the balcony's concealed by some of the palm trees. The boys observed it, then stole peeks at each other.

"I have an idea." Kendall stated, a grin spreading across his face.

As horrified as the thought of Effy being hurt made him, Logan still listened. Oliver was in 3L with whoever that psycho was, and they had an obligation to get him out. If they succeeded in rescuing him, there was a good chance he could let them know who he was with, and where Effy was. However, it would take a good amount of planning.

And maybe some bulletproof vests.

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**Author's Note: Just to give this chapter some time to have it's limelight, I'll be posting the second update in just an hour. Coolio? Cool.**


	3. Chapter 7: Smooth Criminal

**Author's Note: On random occasions, I've realized how difficult it can be to stay in character. Kudos to you writers who can do it. Please review, so I can know you exist and read your work. By the way, referring to my last chapter, I noticed that I failed to find any stories on this site that have a character going to L.A. to find the boys. They'll either meet her later as adults back in Minnesota, or it'll be a girl just dropped in L.A. So, I figured I'd have the character go to them… sort of, maybe not. Possibly, I could've just not been looking hard enough, but I haven't seen a story do that. Go figure.**

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Chapter 7: Smooth Criminal

"The Island to Hockey Head, over."

"Hockey Head, present! Cuda Man, come in, over!"

"Cuda Man - present and handsome. Never Had a Girlfriend, come in!"

"James you know that is _not_ my code name!" Carlos whined, popping up from behind the bushes, his tree-hat lopsided. Logan and Kendall groaned, rolling their eyes and hitting James. Pulling Carlos down, the boys looked to Logan, who had pulled out a notebook. Scribbled onto the first page were snippets of information they'd received from Bitters after paying him another twenty dollars.

"According to Bitters, Oliver's kidnapper leaves the Palm Woods every day at seven in the morning. Since that's too early for _some_ of us to wake up-" Logan shot a glare at James and Carlos. "- We won't get a closer look at the guy. Anyway, he comes back at six or seven in the evening, so we've got approximately… two hours to get Oliver safely out of 3L." Carlos grinned, quickly becoming excited.

"That's too easy! We can just knock on the door and Oliver will open it!" he shouted, jumping up. Kendall and James pulled him back down, shaking their heads. Logan had tried that after the boys ate lunch, to no avail. Clearly, Oliver's captor had trained him not to open the door for anyone.

"There's other things we have to think about, Carlos." Logan explained, shaking his head. "First of all, if Oliver didn't open the door, that could mean one of two things. Either he was told not to, or this stranger took him wherever he was going. Since Bitters said the kidnapper left by himself, we can safely say Oliver is alone in the apartment. You with me so far? Okay. Second, we only have so much money. Bitters isn't going to turn the other cheek while we climb up the balcony and break into the apartment. Third, the vents could be an option, but that would take time that I can't be sure we have. And finally, there's also the chance that whoever Oliver's with has cameras or some type of security around. He was smart enough to pay off Bitters, so we have to be on our toes." The smart brunette pointed out everything hindering the boys from making a move, having no good plans coming to mind. He couldn't work under pressure, and not with so many thoughts already on his mind. His head was too cluttered!

"Logan! You can't just overanalyze like that. Relax." Kendall demanded, shaking his friend. "I think the vents are our best bet." James and Carlos nodded in agreement. There were countless times the boys had traveled the hotel in the vents, and it didn't always take too long. At least not when they knew where they were going. 3L couldn't be that tricky to find. It was only a floor above them. Seeing as apartment 2L was only two doors down from them, 3L had to be above that. Palm Woods Hotel wasn't intricately laid out; it was floors stacked simply atop one another. Logan stared at the boys unsurely.

"If we're caught, not only could we be facing eviction from our apartment, but breaking and entering charges, and not to mention the chance of being shot!" he argued desperately, his panic making his voice an octave higher. Carlos shoved off the tree-hat and replaced it with his helmet.

"Dude, don't worry. We can do this." he assured him, grinning from ear to ear. James pulled out his lucky comb, ran it through his hair, and nodded. Finally, Logan looked to Kendall. The blonde wore a smug, knowing grin. Exhaling deeply, Logan reluctantly nodded. Though his observations and theories told him the chances of accomplishing their goal was slim with the route they were choosing, Kendall's grin had a way of making people believe. However, the thought of getting Oliver to go with them was on his mind, even if he wore such a confident grin. Kendall could remember how Oliver was. If this stranger had him scared enough, Oliver would stick to routine (despite the dangers), and refuse to leave. The poor boy had always been tough to help, and time obviously hadn't changed anything. Not if he was allowing a monster to hold him hostage.

While doubts circled through the boys' minds, Kendall led them to the vent in their apartment that was just above the slide. He unscrewed it quietly, as to not awake his mother from her nap. Handing the metal vent down to Carlos, he climbed up first, pulling himself into the air ducts. James climbed in next, followed by Logan, then Carlos. He fit the vent back into the hole, tilting it so it hooked onto the top and wouldn't fall. Turning, he faced his friends, watching Logan pull out a hastily drawn map of the vents. They were at the point marked with a red dot, and their destination was the blue square. Logan had picked out where all the vents were, and linked them together to form the map, but it was only what he could guess the layout to be. Taking the map, Kendall crawled forward first. The rest of the boys followed, crawling as fast as they could without stressing the vents too much. Falling through was the last thing they needed. Not only would it sabotage the plan, but Bitters would never let them hear the end of it - if he decided to let them stay.

Kendall paused when he reached two separate passages, and double checked the map. He imagined the hotel from the outside of the vents, and decided going left was the best bet. Once they reached an exit and saw they were closer to the elevator, the boys knew they were going in the right direction. After making another turn, the vents went up. Kendall carefully maneuvered himself up, hitting his head twice and bending his back uncomfortably. Pulling himself to top, he groaned when he was finally on the third floor vent. Looking back, he saw James crawling up, minding his hair. He moved to the side, allowing his friend up, and watching as Logan struggled. Holding out their hands, James and Kendall pulled him up. Carlos climbed up with ease, as if he'd done so plenty of times before. Knowing him, it was possible.

Again, the four continued their crawl towards apartment 3L, looking through the vents every few times they passed one to check their progress. They were outside of Camille's room. Seeing a left turn ahead, the boys quickly crawled to it, moving until the reached the end of the air duct. There was a turn between the last vent they passed and the dead end, and Logan figured it was the passage that led into the apartment. Beckoning his friends, he crawled through it, stopping at the next vent and peering down. The apartment was empty aside from the furniture provided. Inching along, he looked through the next vent, seeing the kitchen. There were McDonald's bags crammed in the trash can. Above it, on the counter, rested the pistol that had been aimed at the boys. Glancing over his shoulder, Logan saw the boys giving him the same questioning stare. Gulping, he nodded, confirming that they had found the right apartment. He stole a peek at his watch, seeing they still had at least an hour before the guns' owner was to return.

"Come on, Logan. Now or never." Kendall urged, his hand against the vent. Logan hesitantly placed his hand against it, squeezing his eyes shut. "One… Two… Three!" The two pushed as hard as they could, and the vent easily unhinged, opening with a loud crack. James pushed Logan forward, causing him to lose his balance and fall to the floor. He fell on his back, groaning when he opened his eyes. Kendall hopped out, landing beside him. Seeing Carlos poking his head out of the vent, Logan's eyes widened, and he immediately rolled over. His energetic friend jumped, landing where Logan had been laying just seconds before. James hopped out last, landing gracefully, as if he were putting on a show. The boys dusted themselves off, Kendall helping up his uncoordinated friend.

"I don't think anyone's he-" James started to say, but was cut off by the sound of a door opening. The boys froze, shutting their eyes. Fear gripped their throats, cutting off their supply of oxygen. They had seconds, if anything, before the worst began. After a few moments… nothing happened. Everything was quiet. Kendall opened one eye, seeing the front door was still closed. The door that had opened was one of the bedroom doors, and standing in the doorway watching them, was Oliver.

"I know you guys! I know you!" he shouted, his face lighting up exponentially. Oliver rocked back and forth from the heels to the balls of his feet. Just as quickly as his face had brightened though, it darkened and became grave. "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. No, no, you guys are in trouble! I'm going to get in trouble! Big trouble, big, big trouble. Big trouble-" Kendall grabbed Oliver's shoulders, shaking him.

"Oliver! Calm down!" he instructed, his hold firm on the boy. Oliver's wide eyes were fearful, as if he knew what the boys were planning, and what his captor could do to them. "We're gonna get you out of here, okay? Whoever kidnapped you… We're gonna call the cops on him, oka-" Upon hearing that, Oliver ripped himself away from Kendall and began shrieking.

"NO! No, we don't go! Oliver can't go! Effy says- Effy says Oliver has to listen, and stay. Effy says we-" This time, Logan grabbed Oliver and shook him. His rambling took a few seconds to stop, but Logan didn't let go.

"Effy's here?" Logan demanded, his hard stare drilling into Oliver. His grip on Oliver's shoulders tightened, causing the frail boy to wince. He whimpered and nodded, but even then, Logan didn't let go. "What's going on? Where is she? Who are you two with?" Question after question, he shook Oliver for answers, but the boy seemed to be struggling. There was something holding him back, as if invisible hands were strangling him to keep him from talking. He shook his head, whimpering again. Kendall finally pulled his friend back, watching Oliver tremble as he sank to the floor.

"Can we look around, Oliver?" Kendall asked quietly, keeping his hold on Logan. When Oliver nodded and hugged his knees to his chest, Kendall hit the back of Logan's head and pulled him to the side. "Remember how he is? You have to be careful with him!" His tone was angry, but Logan didn't care. Oliver said they could look around, and that's what he was going to do. He turned away from his friend, walking towards the other bedroom door. James and Carlos had taken to looking around the living room for any sign of Effy, and Kendall followed Logan. He could see his genius friend finally had no idea what he was doing. It was scaring Logan, but in all honesty, the situation was scaring all of them.

Carefully, Logan cracked open the door, peeking inside. Empty. The bed was neat, giving the impression that no one had slept there. In fact, everything was neat. This room didn't appear to be used at all. Then he took a closer look. Stepping into the room and getting a full view of it, Logan and Kendall saw the bed had been moved. The dents it made in the carpet were showing, and there was a wide space in the room. The bed was blockading the door that led out to the balcony, and if it hadn't been used, the floor certainly had. There were faded, dirty shoeprints on the carpet, and light, pinkish stains. While Kendall bent down to get a better look at them, Logan ventured further. His hand lightly shook as he reached for the doorknob to the next room, and biting his lip, he pushed it open.

All that lay on the other side of the door was a bathroom. There was a window opposite of Logan, but it was covered by a black sheet. He couldn't see anything wrong, but again, he had to step further inside to see anything worth seeing. Littered around the sink were small cases. Curious, he picked one up and clicked it open, gulping when he saw the contents. Neatly lined inside the velvet interior of the cheetah-print case were needles. He tossed the case back onto the counter, shuddering and picking up another case. This case was filled with contact lenses. They weren't Effy's though. To his knowledge, she didn't wear contacts. Pushing them away, he tried to look for anything else, when the boys rushed in.

"The front door was opening! He's home early! Get out quick!" James squealed in a loud whisper, pushing Carlos out of his way. Logan shut the door behind them, whirling around and seeing James already scrambled out of the window. Carlos followed him, and then Kendall. Panicked, Logan peered out, seeing his friends standing on the thin ledge, inching their way towards the edge of the building. Getting caught wasn't an option. Hearing the bedroom door on the other side of the room opening, Logan gasped and rapidly climbed out of the window, not bothering to close it behind him. His feet moved faster than they ever had before as he followed the boys around the ledge, sighing heavily with relief when he saw a ladder. It only went so far down, but the jump from that distance was better from where they were now.

James quaked with fear as he descended the ladder, closing his eyes when he jumped off. His grace was lost, melted away by the panic that had invaded them all upon almost being caught. Carlos almost instantly forgot his fear, now energetic once again. He was laughing hysterically over the situation, much to his friends' dismay. Kendall and Logan were quiet, both because of what they discovered. Seeing the serious expressions on their faces, Carlos and James grew silent, watching the boys take the long way around the Palm Woods instead of cutting across the pool. If Oliver's captor were to look out the window, he'd make the connection of it being open to them. Wordlessly, the boys trudged back to their apartment, waiting until the door closed behind them to start talking.

"That was close!" James groaned, plopping down on the couch. Carlos nodded, fixing his helmet so it wasn't twisted. Logan glanced at Kendall, seeing he was already staring back.

"I found something… odd." Logan admitted, staring down at his hands. They had touched the cases, and it felt like with his fingerprints left behind, the whole world knew he'd intruded. His worry was more on the contents of the first case though. Why were there needles? Who was using them, and what were they using them for? Kendall coughed, trying to gain control of himself. He had a small panic attack, and was catching his breath at last and holding up his hand.

"Me too!" he gasped, taking a few more deep breaths. James and Carlos looked at each other, having not found anything more than the empty bags of McDonalds and Subway. Their focus went to Oliver, who had taken to watching TV. They discussed with him how their visit had to be secret, otherwise they would all be in big trouble. What bothered James was how Oliver seemed to know that trouble was in store if anyone but them knew the boys had broken in. James simply figured Oliver was smarter than he gave him credit for. "You go first." Kendall nodded to Logan, blowing out a gust of breath. Hockey never gave him that intense of a feeling, but then again, hockey wasn't breaking and entering into the apartment of a mad man.

"In the bathroom," Logan began, closing his eyes. His stomach curled at the memory of the cold, thin needles perfectly lined in the case. He could almost feel them pricking at his skin, drawing blood. Gulping, he continued. "There were small cases. One of them… there were needles. Lots of needles." Seeing Kendall's expression, he knew that the information provided meant something to him.

"Those dirt stains and pink spots were fresh. Whoever was in that room tried to clean it, but they couldn't get all of it out. I smelled the bleach…" Kendall explained. His eyes darted from James to Carlos, and finally to Logan. "The pink spots were blood."

Once more, the images of the sharp, eerily chilled needles entered Logan's mind. He stopped seeing his friends for a moment, and instead stood in an abyss of dark velvet - the same kind that lined the needle case. His eyes were closed, and that was all he could imagine around him. Again, his stomach curled, and his throat tightened as he tried to keep from breaking down. Oliver was in that apartment, and if the mysterious mad man he was with discovered that they had been in there, he was in danger. They were all in serious potential danger! The man had a gun, and was holding Oliver and Effy captive! How else could everything the boys found be explained?

Making matters worse, the boys couldn't report this to Bitters. At least not without more solid proof. The fact that they had broken in would be on the table, and Oliver's kidnapper could always hide the evidence they found. He could press charges, and with the way he paid Bitters off, he could pretty much do whatever the hell he wanted! The boys were screwed if they took their findings to Bitters, but Effy and Oliver were screwed if they had to stay with the psycho. Feeling lightheaded, Logan reached up to rub his forehead. However, his hand felt as if it were miles away from his body. He was falling out of his skin. The thoughts racing through his mind were overwhelming. Logan's eyes rolled back, and he hit the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

* * *

**Haha, well I hope you all enjoyed that!**

**I've got to give a shout-out to christinainwonderland for her story Ampersand. She updated with a crazy awesome chapter just a few days ago, and I suggest you all take a look at it.**

**Until next week homeskillets!**


	4. Chapter 1: Extraordinary Girl

Chapter 1: Extraordinary Girl

"_Adam?"_

"_Here!"_

"_Hannah?"_

"_Here!"_

"_Elizabeth?"_

"… _E-Effy."_

_Twenty-four pairs of eyes landed on the timorous little girl, and blood rushed to her face, darkening it to a deep crimson._

"_What was that, Elizabeth?" The teacher, Ms. Bowers, inclined her thick-rimmed glasses, peering over them to study the blushing girl. She trembled, shaking her head. Satisfied, Ms. Bowers turned to walk away, when another voice chipped in._

"_She said, 'Effy', Ms. Bowers!" the animated, blonde boy beside the little girl shouted. Ms. Bowers' eyes narrowed, but she nodded curtly._

"_So you go by Effy, not Elizabeth. Correct?" Ms. Bowers asked, grimacing. Why she was in the profession of teaching escaped everyone that knew her. The elderly woman held high contempt for children, but this job was one of the few left in town. Though qualified, it wasn't the career she had in mind when she finished college. Wiping snot for a living was just insulting. Thankfully, she was only a substitute for now. "Well?" Sharpening her words, Ms. Bowers earned a shaky nod from Effy Valmont. With that, she marked the child present and finished roll call._

_In spite of the teacher leaving her, Effy was still quivering. The blonde boy next to her noticed, being quite the observer for a five-year-old. His large, vibrant green eyes took in the sight of the girl beside him, and after a minute, his childish grin broadened. Effy wasn't grinning back, but instead returning the boys' stare with wide-eyed shock. It was only the first day of school, and the teacher hated her thanks to this boy. She could hear it in the old woman's bitter voice._

"_Hi! I'm Kendall!" the boy announced to Effy, not taking much notice of her shocked expression now. He pulled out a box of crayons from his backpack, along with a book of white paper. His mother had originally bought them to be taken to school later, but he snuck them along anyway. Setting the box of crayons in the center of the table he and Effy sat at, Kendall pushed them to her. "You like colors right? We can color!" Still, Effy said nor did anything. She watched him open the box of sixty-four crayons, pulling one out and beginning to draw. Her eyes darted to the teacher fearfully, as if doing anything at all were against the rules. Ms. Bowers sat at her desk, reading a paperback book that was old and worn. Other kids were conversing at their tables, and some had taken the liberty to indulge in the toys on the other end of the room._

"_Hey Kendall, you wanna play with these dinosaurs?" A short, energetic boy had suddenly appeared beside Kendall, bringing with him two stuffed dinosaurs from the toy chest. Effy scrutinized the boy, curious as to why he was wearing a helmet far too big for his head. It fell over his eyes, and he was constantly pushing it up. He must have done so seven times since he arrived at the table. Kendall ceased coloring, eyeing the dinosaur. Before he could give his response, the hyper boy made eye contact with Effy. His eyes lit up dramatically. "Your eyes are funny!" He laughed and pointed, scurrying away from Kendall and jumping up in her face._

_Effy held her breath, taken aback by the boys' sudden vigor. Her feelings weren't hurt by his comment. She'd heard the same thing from her brother, Oliver, time and time again since they'd learned to talk. When she finally decided to look carefully at her eyes, her mother explained that a rare gene her grandmother had caused Effy to be gifted with the bizarre, grayish-blue eyes that were dull, yet enticing. Having the easily distracted mind of a five-year-old (and not understanding much about genes), she didn't think of it after the mystery of her eyes was solved. Though easily distracted and unable to truly comprehend her mothers' explanation of her eyes, Effy was an old soul. It would take her a while to realize it, but she was never going to really be a kid. She was born middle-aged, in a sense._

"_Carlos, that's kinda mean." another voice added, causing Effy to turn around. Kendall was looking at one of the discarded dinosaurs Carlos had dropped on the table, and beside him was yet another boy. His hair was silky and brown, his cheeks radiantly pink, and his eyes hazel. When his eyes met with Effy's, he made the same confused look his helmeted friend had made. "Wow, they are funny." Kendall looked up, observant yet again for another quick moment. Effy could feel her cheeks beginning to burn._

"_I think they look cool." he stated, attempting to draw the dinosaur. Shrugging, the pretty boy let his attention roam to Kendall's colors, peeking inside the box and pulling out two different types of green. The dark-skinned boy still watched Effy, though._

"_I'm Carlos!" he shouted, smiling from ear to ear. His helmet slid over his eyes again, and Effy responded with a shy wave when he pushed the headgear back up. When she didn't say anything, he spoke again. "That's James. He's my best friend! So is Kendall! We're on a peewee hockey team!" James and Kendall's heads snapped up at the mention of hockey. Even then, Effy just gave the boy a small smile._

"_Guys?" Effy closed her eyes, wanting to disappear. Someone __**else**__ had arrived. Opening one eye, she peeked over at Kendall's side of the table, seeing a tidy, brunette little boy now standing there. The boys stopped their chatter, glancing over at the fourth boy. "I don't think she wants to be bothered." Hearing this, the boys stared back at Effy, not seeing anything wrong with her._

_Carlos was clearly about to object to the boys' statement, when another class of children passed the door. Two of them were in wheelchairs, their faces blank, one was laughing and clapping, and the last one was taking in his surroundings. When he looked through the door, he spotted Effy and immediately brightened. He jumped, waving frantically and pointing, shouting an unintelligible noise and gaining the attention of everyone inside and outside the classroom. Effy's head wrenched up, and she saw her brother Oliver. Seeing everyone staring at him was unnerving enough for the girl._

"_Effy! Effy, say hi to Oliver!" the boy shouted, his slow, almost sing-song voice earning mocking laughter from the ignorant five-year-olds. His smile only livened when he saw everyone laughing, and he began laughing too, pointing to Effy as another teacher pulled him along. Though he was gone from view, Effy wasn't, and now her classmates were laughing at her. Lifting her backpack onto the table, she shrank behind it, burying her face in her hands._

_Beside her, the boys stopped laughing upon seeing her reaction, glancing at each other before looking back to Effy. She didn't move. As the laughter died out, she still didn't move. Everyone had gone back to playing or coloring, with the exception of Kendall. He nudged his friends, pointing again to Effy. No one had ever laughed at the boys before, but they'd had enough lessons and scolding from their parents to know it was mean to do that to someone. Even if they found it dorky to believe or care about, it was true. These boys had always been a little different, and the fact that they were instilled with a conscience at such a young age proved it. Cautiously, they surrounded the hiding girl._

"_Effy?" Carlos whispered, poking her. Yanking away from him, Effy pulled her head up, watching him. Her eyes suddenly were filled with anger. They were intimidating, and Carlos nervously sought his friends for backup. Quickly, Kendall stepped in, his leadership coming out._

"_We're sorry for laughing." he apologized. The boys nodded in agreement, giving Effy their best smiles. Her eyes passed over all of them, not appeased. She didn't want them talking to her anymore. What she wanted, was to go home and sit with her brother. However, that just didn't seem to be in the cards. "So who was that?" Yet again, Effy didn't answer him. Instead, she stared with her piercing eyes. A few moments of silence passed, and the brunette whose name had yet to come up spoke._

"_He's different." the boy stated. Effy noticed this wasn't a question, so she didn't nod or shake her head. She didn't do anything other than stare. The boy continued. "My dad sometimes helps kids like that. He's a doctor, and I'm going to be like him when I get bigger." He smiled, revealing a gap in his top row of teeth. One was waiting to bud underneath the pink flesh, but it didn't show signs of doing so any time soon. When Effy simply nodded, yet still didn't give a verbal response, his smile faded. James pushed him out of the way, making himself the center of attention._

"_So why is your name Effy if the teacher says your name is Elizabeth?" he questioned, folding his arms on the table and resting his head. His eyes met Effy's, and she could see the color perfectly from her angle. They were pretty. Though, his cheeks were incredibly flushed. She wondered what made them that way, but didn't think of asking._

_Awaiting Effy's answer, James's face fell after a long minute. The boys exchanged glances again, and finally accepted defeat. Without another word, they abandoned Effy, scampering off to the toy chest. Her eyes followed them, but she quickly lost interest. She still wanted to go home already. Setting her head down, she let her mind take her away from the classroom. Thinking of what she'd do when she got home, she immediately was taken to dancing. Young as she was, dancing came naturally to her. Be it the inspiration of her father, she didn't know or care. It was fun to move around, and though she couldn't call her jumping and moving about dancing, she was learning to perfect it. Her mother allowed her to view the 90s channel, and the more music videos she watched, the more knowledge of dancing she gained._

_Images of the dancers on television flowed through Effy's mind, and lingered as the hours passed. No one bothered her again, and if they did, they were easily ignored. She was too engrossed with her thoughts. The girl could've gotten up and began dancing, and she wouldn't have noticed! Her thoughts were too interesting. Too captivating. Nevertheless, she looked up when the shrill sound of a bell rang. Wincing and covering her ears, Effy looked to the teacher. Ms. Bowers arose, grabbing her purse and pulling out a bag. She knew what that was. Lunch. Just as the word came to mind, her stomach growled._

"_Children! Line up; it's time for your lunch break." Ms. Bowers announced, waiting at the door. All of the children scrambled up, forgetting their playthings and fighting their way into the line. Effy found herself last, but she didn't mind. Her mother had given her a little brown bag filled with her favorite things to eat at lunchtime. Smiling to herself, she followed the line out of the classroom and down the hall. The hallways were wide, and the linoleum floor faintly showed her reflection. Everything smelled clean and fresh, something Effy would grow to love about the first day of school._

_Ms. Bowers led the children outside, and through the fairly small courtyard, holding the door open to the cafeteria. Strong scents of mashed potatoes, corn, and chicken wafted through the air, causing Effy's stomach to growl again. She didn't always care for chicken or corn, but she had what her mother packed. The teacher led them to a table, and the children chose their seats. Effy sat alone in the furthest right corner, and it seemed she was going to remain alone until the four boys from earlier occupied the seats around her. Kendall and the brunette whose name she didn't know sat on either side of her, while James and Carlos sat opposite of them. They had all brought their lunches too._

"_So Effy, what did you get?" Kendall asked, opening his lunchbox. Effy shyly opened the brown, paper sack, pouring out the contents. Onto the table fell a neatly wrapped peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cut into triangles and freed from the crusts. Beside that was a fresh, shiny green apple, a small bottle of apple juice, and a chocolate pudding cup. On top of that, a neatly folded piece of paper had fallen from the bag. The boys noticed, but Effy quickly snatched it before they could. Keeping her eyes focused at the table, as to avoid seeing the boys, she opened the note. Written neatly so she could read it, her mother had left her a short message saying, __**Have a good day, sweetie**__._

_Though she'd just entered Kindergarten, Effy knew how to read a few words. Her mother read to her and Oliver every night, and she always showed them what she was reading. The five words on the paper were no strangers to her. She had slight trouble reading them, but after a few seconds, she recognized the words. It was definitely something her mother would say. Now supporting a small smile, Effy shifted her eyes up to Kendall. He was watching her still, waiting for her to speak. Feeling a small surge of confidence, she opened her mouth, ready to share that she could read._

_However, Effy couldn't get one word out. The second she opened her mouth, there was a loud bang, a tremble in the tables, and a vast cloud of smoke puffed out of the kitchen. Other children saw the smoke and began screaming, jumping up and running around wildly. The teachers ran from their table, herding the children like sheep outside. Kendall, James, Carlos, and their brunette friend quickly fled the table with their still-packed lunches, but Effy couldn't seem to force her legs to move. Her eyes were too fixated on the vividly orange flames licking at the walls of the kitchen. Women who had been cooking back there were now fleeing, and as they passed Effy, she could feel them moving by her slowly. Everything was going by slowly. She turned her head, scanning the cafeteria for anyone, but they had all escaped to the outside. Her legs still wouldn't move her._

_Suddenly, there was a pressure on Effy's arm, and she was tugged out of her seat. The chair fell over, making an echoing clatter as it hit the ground, and she saw that Ms. Bowers was running toward her and the one who'd pulled her from the fire. Her eyes landed on the hand that held and pulled her, following it up the arm, to the body that it was connected to. Kendall had come back for her. She looked back, seeing the fire spreading, and could hear the sound of a fire truck. Her heart beat against her chest, and once she was outside with the rest of her class, she could feel it. Ragged breaths left her at an uneven pace, and as she stared at the fire, and the fire truck speeding into the schools' parking lot, she blacked out._

_**As soon as **__Effy's eyes popped open, she saw teachers surrounding her. Immediately she wanted to know where she was, and what happened. It took a second, but slowly it came to her that she was in the school courtyard. Firemen were wrapping up on putting out the fire that had started in the cafeteria, and Effy could see the charred, ruined walls. It had spread quickly, and from where she sat, she saw her table had been torched. Moving her gaze away from the building, she noticed her classmates, and all the other Kindergarteners. Everyone watched her and kept away as if she'd grown a third arm in the time she blacked out. She couldn't remember what happened after she was taken outside! The memory of who brought her outside was barely returning to her._

"_Are you alright?" one of the male teachers surrounding Effy asked. She didn't look at him, but nodded. "Do you want to go to the nurse?" For a moment, she thought about the question, then shook her head. The adult watched her for a few moments, but she did nothing. Effy simply sat on the ground, staring at the kids that were gawking at her._

"_Kids! We're going to sit out here and finish our lunch, then head to the gym for recess." another teacher announced, holding up her hands to gain everyone's attention. All of the kids cheered, quickly forgetting Effy and even the fire. There were still a few teachers stealing glances at Effy, but she did nothing. After a minute, she lifted herself and moved to the bench where other children were sitting. Once she took her seat, the kids that were there eyed her, then scurried away. A pang of hurt struck her, but her expression didn't change. Instead, she let her head fall, and she stared down at her feet._

_Seconds felt like hours as the girl sat alone on the hard bench. It had yet to get cold, but it was Minnesota. Any day now the weather would turn cool, then slowly freeze. Effy swung her feet, her eyes following the leaves as they whirled around with the wind her foot-swaying generated. All the children were eating and playing, while Effy's lunch was roasted to a crisp in the cafeteria. Her bottom lip quivered when she thought back to the note her mother had left, but she gritted her teeth and glared._

"_Hey, Effy?"_

_Effy peeked up, seeing the brunette boy standing before her. He rocked back and forth on his heels uneasily, as if afraid that she would do something to him. Her glare faded, and she stared at him questioningly. He rubbed his arm, stuttering something too quiet for Effy to hear before taking a seat next to her. She examined him as he clumsily opened his bag and pulled out a sandwich. It was cut in half diagonally, almost the same way hers had been. The boy took one of the halves and handed it to her, giving her a small smile. Hesitantly, she reached out and took the sandwich. Her stomach growled when she smelled the tuna, and though she didn't like it too much, she was hungry._

"_Thank you." Effy breathed, taking a bite of the sandwich. It was a brackish, wet taste, but after a few chews, she accepted it. She took a bigger bite, savoring every chew. After swallowing the food, she noticed the boy was watching her. "What's your name?" The question seemed to take him by surprise. He hadn't heard her talk all day, no matter how many questions she was asked. This was the first time her voice had really registered in his mind. Soft and melodic best described it; not too loud, and not too quiet. There was a New Yorkers accent, but only a slight one, and could almost be mistaken for an English accent with the gentle way she spoke._

"_I'm Logan." the boy answered, biting into his own half of the sandwich. He pulled a bag of carrot sticks out, handing one to Effy. Again, she accepted it hesitantly, biting into it slowly to grow accustomed to the taste. She never liked vegetables, but she was hungry. The two ate in silence, until Logan's three friends realized he was with Effy and advanced towards them. "So why __**is**__ your name Effy?" The boys had reached them just in time to hear him ask, and wondered if she would answer this time. Effy paused mid-chew, thinking about the question. Swallowing, she licked her lips, then spoke._

"_My brother couldn't say Elizabeth, so mommy said we could play with my name. She spelled two of my names with my blocks, and we took the 'e' from Elizabeth and put it together with the 'ph' and 'ie' from Stephanie. That's how we got Effy, and she said an easy way to spell it was E-F-F-Y. So that's me. Effy." she explained, eating the last of the sandwich. Logan handed her his water bottle, and she took it, drinking only a gulp to wash down the food._

_Handing the water back to Logan, Effy found herself smiling. The boys were the only ones not watching her from afar as if she were a diseased mutant, and that was enough to make her happy. That was enough to keep her content. She wasn't lonely anymore._


	5. Chapter 8: Blow Up the Outside World

Chapter 8: Blow Up The Outside World

"_Logan? Logan?"_

_Opening his eyes, Logan saw the curtain of candy apple red hair in front of him. Light poured into the room through the window, and he grinned when he saw the time. It was one minute until nine o'clock. He reached out his hand, stopping the alarm before it could go off and smiling up at his friend. The hair that draped over his arm was pushed back, revealing the thin, pale face of Effy Valmont. What prompted her to wake him up exactly one minute before his alarm went off on the weekends, he never could figure out. She wouldn't give him an answer, so he had to do without. He always had to wonder though: did she wake up hours earlier? Or was it luck? Chuckling, Logan sat up, the covers falling from his torso._

"_It's Saturday, Eff. That's the day we sleep in." Logan reminded her jokingly, like a parent scolding a small child. Effy laughed, crawling out of the bed. It was fairly large, and the two of them fit on it with a reasonable amount of space distancing them. At first, the idea of it was awkward, but as the days became weeks, their comfort with it grew. "You want breakfast?" Immediately, Effy's lively blue-gray eyes became dark, and her eyebrows narrowed._

"_No thank you." she answered, her tone flat. Logan sighed and fell back on the bed, staring up at Effy. She returned his gaze, not looking away until he began to pout. His lower lip stuck out, and a smile threatened to break across her face._

"_Come on, Effy. You've been doing good. Five days; that's a personal best." Logan reasoned with her, rolling out of the bed. He yawned and stretched, waiting for Effy to follow him. By now, she'd learned when it was completely safe to leave the room without being caught, and nine in the morning on weekends was one of those times. Logan's parents were at work. Sighing, she crossed her arms and took her time getting off of the bed and walking to him. "You'll thank me for this, Effy. I promise." He gave her a sincere smile, leading her down the stairs. Though occasionally he grew weary of her difficult shortcomings, he vowed to help her. She was one of his best friends, and being a doctor meant he had to help people. Effy would be the first, and he would do everything in his power to keep her the way she was; happy and healthy._

_Logan walked through the kitchen, contemplating what he wanted for breakfast. Eggs sounded good, as did bacon and some waffles. Out of that, he thought about what Effy would eat easily. Waffles seemed like the best choice, but he wanted to try and get protein into her system. The battle with her and bacon would be harder than getting her to eat eggs, so he figured that would have to suffice. Watching Effy in his peripheral vision, he popped some of the frozen waffles in the toaster, and prepared the frying pan. Since eggs cooked faster, he decided to make them last, and began frying a few pieces of bacon. Two for him; three if Effy refused to even take a bite of one piece. Once they were done, he began on the eggs. The waffles had popped out of the toaster minutes prior, but Effy had them on a plate already. She transferred the bacon on the napkin to the plate with the waffles, and Logan heard her set it down on the island behind him._

_Taking a seat on the stool across the island, Effy alternated from watching Logan cook, to staring at the food across from her. All she had to do was stand up and reach over to have a bite. Her stomach growled at the aroma of breakfast, causing her to frown. Annoyed with her hunger, her eyes trailed away from the plate and focused on the tile that made up the counter. It was smooth and decorative. Effy's eyes moved along, staring at the small designs in the napkin that held the fork and knife. Lingering on the utensils, she peered up at Logan, seeing he was finishing up with the eggs._

"_Effy? I really do think you should eat some- Oh, damn it! Effy!" Logan shouted, pushing the pan of eggs on the counter and quickly moving to his friends' side. Her hand was bleeding, and the knife she had squeezed clattered on the ground. Logan held out her hand, maneuvering her to the sink._

"_Logan?" she whispered, closing her eyes when the water washed away the blood._

"_Logan?"_

"Logan! Dude, wake up!"

James tapped his friends' face, and Kendall poured water from a cup onto him. Carlos shook the unconscious boy, finally getting some response. Logan groaned, feeling his head throb. Slowly, his eyes cracked open, and he saw the blurry outlines of his friends above him. Gradually, the boys came into focus, and the sharp pain in Logan's head began to dull. He pushed himself up, wiping his face. Beads of the remaining water trickled from his hair down his cheeks, falling and soaking into his shirt. The boys pulled him up, and Kendall tossed one of the kitchen rags over the water, stepping on it to absorb the liquid and dry the floor.

"You've been out for half an hour, man! You're lucky Mrs. Knight still isn't here," James informed him, pulling out his comb and brushing through a lock of his hair. He eyed himself in the mirror on the shelf beside him, glancing back at Logan. "She would've flipped shit if she saw you passed out like that." He chuckled, shaking his head. Unamused, Kendall threw the wet dishcloth at his vain friend. Carlos snickered at the reaction, and James threw the cloth at him.

"Guys! Stop messing around!" Logan shouted, once again stern. It was almost as if he hadn't passed out at all. "We've gotta warn Camille. That guy's on her floor!" He turned to leave, but felt a hand pull him back by his shoulder. Annoyed, he peered over and saw Kendall. There was disapproval not only on his face, but on James and Carlos' as well.

"Logan, can you take a breather for one second?" Carlos questioned, stepping forward. Kendall pulled him around, letting his hand fall off of Logan's shoulder. He stood next to James and Carlos, all three of them crossing their arms.

"You're letting this drive you crazy, and it's only been a day." James stated.

"Do you not realize how serious this is? I wish _you_ would be a little more crazed about this! Someone could get hurt; excuse me for being worried!" Logan retorted quickly, glaring at all three of the boys. They sighed, looking to each other and seeing there would be no reasoning with him just yet. Perhaps Camille could get through to him, though. "Now, are you coming with me to tell Camille or not?" The boys once again exchanged glances, then nodded. Following Logan solemnly out of 2J, the group made their way to Camille's apartment. Kendall, James, and Carlos all knew Logan was going to be bent over the issue at hand until there was solid proof that nothing serious was going on, or Oliver's captor was arrested and Effy's location was revealed. She was their best friend before they left and forgot about her, and now that there was a chance to possibly redeem themselves for abandoning her, they _did_ want to take it.

Effy had always been a reliable shoulder to lean on when they were all in trouble. She would lie to cover for them, she would help them with coursework when Logan couldn't, and she was always a good listener. If there was ever a time the boys needed to confide in someone, Effy was the first choice. She didn't always have advice to give out, but when she did, it was the exact thing they needed to hear. When she didn't give advice, it was always nice just the way she would listen and observe, not really making judgments or assumptions. The fact that they'd left her behind when she needed them most guilted the boys to no end, which they would occasionally question to be the real reason they decided to stop thinking about her and Sherwood altogether.

Knocking on Camille's door, Logan and the boys stood, waiting for her to answer. Soon enough, the door opened, but instead of seeing Camille, they saw her father. The balding man gave them a smile, knowing they were friends of his daughter. He leaned against the door, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Is Camille here?" Logan asked, his hands fidgeting. He had never been good at talking to Camille's father, and with the worry of Oliver and Effy on his mind, his nerves were even harder to control.

"No, sorry. She left about five or ten minutes ago with the new neighbor. Quiet young man, actually." Camille's father answered, scratching his chin. Logan's eyes bulged out, and his head jerked in the direction of the elevator. He felt a pain sear through his neck, but he ignored it. At the moment, he contemplated whether the stairs or the elevator would be faster. The mans' response had hit Logan as if it were a punch to the stomach. He felt his heart stopping, and his blood chilling. Camille was alone with the person holding his friends captive, and who was just insane enough to put a gun up to them?

"Thank you, sir…" Logan mumbled, his tone detached. He fled from the spot, leaving his friends behind. The boys shrugged and acted as though they didn't know what was wrong with Logan, as to keep Camille's father from growing too concerned. He stared at them curiously for a moment, closing the door after giving them a goodbye wave. The boys bolted off after Logan, chasing him down the stairs. "I _knew_ something like this would happen!" He shouted out of frustration, pulling himself over the rails and landing on the next set of stairs. Pushing through the door that exited to the first floor, he paused, taking a quick moment to breath. James, Carlos, and Kendall immediately caught up with him, waiting for him to move again.

This behavior wasn't like Logan at all. Effy and Oliver being in danger was one thing, but adding Camille to that equation was too much. Sure, there was the possibility the quiet boy her father mentioned was Oliver, but that seemed unlikely. Logan was so wrapped up in the frightening aspects of the matter, he was losing his sight on what was realistic and logical. For the first time, he was letting his emotions guide him, and right now, they were irrational. His friends could see that, and if he showed any sign of making a decision he would regret, they were there to stop him. Once he'd caught his breath, Logan began running again. He stopped upon reaching the pool, his eyes scanning the area for Camille. She wasn't there.

"Katie!" Carlos called, seeing the eleven-year-old sitting at one of the tables playing her Castle Smashers game. She peered up, pausing her game as the boys rushed to her.

"Have you seen Camille?" they asked in unison. Katie raised her eyebrow, then nodded.

"I saw her heading off to that uh- big ballroom, before I came out here. You know, the one you guys threw that dance in?" she answered, returning her attention back to her videogame. Logan ran off, once again leaving the boys behind.

"Thanks Katie!" Kendall called over his shoulder as the remaining three boys sprinted after their distraught friend.

Logan slowed down once he neared the ballroom, allowing the rest of the boys to catch up with him. Though, it wasn't only to let his friends catch up. He paused to confirm whether or not he heard what he thought he was hearing. Drifting from down the hall was the sound of a piano. Cautiously, the boys neared the ballroom, poking their heads in to see what was going on. Camille sat on a stool, watching the person playing the piano. The figure had his back to them, and was dressed in faded blue jeans and a black leather jacket. Logan inched toward Camille, his hand brushing against her arm to get her attention. She jumped, startled, but didn't make a sound.

"Hey guys," Camille whispered, smiling. Logan was immediately confused. He stared at Kendall, James, and Carlos, seeing they were just as puzzled. Clearly, Camille didn't realize who she was with. "This is my other new neighbor. He lives with Oliver. I bumped into him in the halls, and I noticed he was carrying sheet music. This guy is _amazing_. He's from England-" Suddenly, the music stopped, and the boy playing tensed. He turned, and the boys got their first look at the mysterious stranger.

He appeared to be their age, if not a year younger. His face was smooth and pale. Underneath the leather jacket he wore was a black shirt, sporting a faded Marlboro logo. There were tears in his jeans, and he wore large grey boots. His crow black hair was a messier form of James's haircut, and his eyes were a bizarre shade of brown, which Logan instantly recognized as the contacts he saw in the bathroom. When he really looked at the boys' eyes (after taking in his appearance), he could see that they were filled with something akin to anger. All the boys saw it, in fact. Feeling the tension between the five boys, Camille decided to intervene and figure out what was going on.

"Have you guys met Dexter?" she asked, her focus moving from one boy to another. Logan, James, Kendall, and Carlos didn't tear their gaze away from the boy (who they now knew to be named Dexter), and he didn't tear his gaze from them. They nodded, almost simultaneously.

"These are the boys who were threatening my privacy." Dexter stated flatly, his accent even more prominent than it had been when they first heard him at his apartment. Camille's eyebrows raised, and straightaway, the boys became angered. Kendall stepped towards him, their eyes drilling into each other.

"You're full of shit! You pointed a gun on us!" he argued, grabbing Dexter's collar and pulling him up. "We wanted to see Oliver, and we _saw_ you push him down. What the fuck are you doing with him? What have you done with Effy?" Logan, James, and Carlos had stepped up by now as well, surrounding Dexter. His copper colored eyes didn't falter, nor did his stern grimace.

"Let go of me." Dexter growled, his voice threatening. Camille protested, but none of the boys listened to her. Kendall showed no sign of letting Dexter go until he gave them all answers. However, he didn't plan on giving any answers until Kendall let him go. The two glared at each other, both refusing to break first. After a long, nerve-racking moment, James finally tugged Kendall back. He struggled, but gave up when James stepped in front of him. The blonde was always a stubborn fighter, but when his friends let him know it was enough, he had to agree. Dexter's eyes remained narrowed, and when James looked into them, the handsome boy couldn't help but flinch. Dexter grinned, feeling dominance. Though the well-groomed boy towered over him by several inches, his eyes were stronger. Scarier.

"Just tell us… We want to know where Effy is." James stated, keeping his voice as firm as possible. He felt obligated to get the answer, not only for his friends, but for himself as well. Effy had been his friend too. She meant just as much to him as the boys did.

Dexter's eyebrow raised as he eyed the four boys. They were all anticipating a response, hoping it would be the truth. It was a possibility that Dexter would lie to them, but they had to hope for the best. Kendall always told them before a game, "Hope for the best, and expect the worst". That advice had been taken to heart, and never really left them. Somehow, it fit in a lot of situations they got into. This one was no different. Rolling his eyes, Dexter grabbed his tattered book bag, walking around the boys. Seething with annoyance, Kendall stepped forward and grabbed Dexter's shoulder.

"Hold on, you fuc-" Kendall was ready to chew the foreign boy out, but clearly, he struck a nerve with him. Dexter whirled around, swiftly throwing a punch at Kendall. He struck the blondes' cheek, and Kendall stumbled back. It stung, but it didn't hurt the way he thought it would. Either Dexter held back, or he was weaker than average boys. When he looked up though, Dexter seemed confident. He had to have held back. The punch was just a warning. Carlos, James, and Logan surrounded their friend, glaring up at his assailant.

"Don't touch me. Don't _ever_ fucking touch me." Dexter hissed, his voice menacing. He hitched his bag up higher on his shoulder, walking away from the room. Camille waited for his footsteps to fade before turning on the boys.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded, throwing her hands up.

"Camille, he had a gun!" Carlos shouted, using his thumb and forefinger as a model. "He was threatening to shoot us! All we wanted was to see Oliver! And we saw him push Oliver down!" His voice was exasperated as he tried to reason with the girl.

"And how do you guys know Oliver?" Camille asked, still confused. Her hands fell to her side, and she glanced over her shoulder to see if Dexter was still gone. From what the boys were saying, Dexter seemed like a completely different person than what she had in mind. Upon leaving her apartment to head to the pool, she ran into him on the elevator. He carried sheet music, and Camille had questioned it. Though the boy seemed reluctant to talk, he gave her simple answers. His tone wasn't intimidating at all. He just seemed like a reserved guy. When she heard his accent and asked if he was from overseas, she took an immediate interest in him. No one like that had ever stayed at the Palm Woods before. She only assumed she was being friendly, mainly to help him feel more welcome and at home. She didn't know that the boys already didn't like him, and that they were who Dexter spoke of when she asked if he'd met anyone else.

"Before we came to L.A, we were friends with his sister, Effy." James admitted, shaking his head. With the explanation came guilt. They knew it all too well. Though they hadn't bothered trying to explain it to anyone, just the idea of her here spiraled them into turmoil. Camille waited for them to continue, returning to her spot on the stool. James couldn't seem to go on, however.

"Long story short, we left her behind. She was one of us, and we just left. L.A. was a lot to keep on our minds, and it took us about a week to realize we'd forgotten something extremely important. Her." Kendall explained, seeing Logan wince. Luckily, Camille didn't notice it. She didn't realize **why** he felt so much more guilt than the others. In actuality, none of the boys knew why he felt more guilty. He let them believe it was because he was the one who befriended her first, and he had almost figured out how to help her and return her to normal. However, that explanation was becoming more and more lame to them. It didn't fit. Sighing, Kendall continued. "She was… sick. We all tried helping her, and it just became too much for us. Forgetting her was easy, because it was a load of stress off our backs. That wasn't us though! We weren't used to just abandoning a friend."

"We still aren't… So we just never talk about it." Logan added, his tone defeated. Before Logan could fall too far into his guilt, Carlos continued. They had to move forward with the explanation. They had to get it all in the open, so they could be free of it.

"Effy and Oliver wouldn't go anywhere without each other, so we know she's here." Carlos stated, crossing his arms. He looked to his friends, his eyes lingering on Kendall. "And we're not gonna let that guy get away with punching you, are we Kendall?" James nodded in agreement, and the two stepped towards the door.

"Stop, stop. We're not just gonna pick a fight with this guy in front of Bitters. He has that money hungry oaf in the palm of his hand." Logan objected, still sounding defeated. Kendall nodded in agreement.

"Logan's right. We're waiting for the right moment to fuck his shit up, alright?" he joked, already bouncing back from the attack. It really hadn't hurt too much, and what mattered to him now was finding out where Effy was. "Come on, we're not letting him hide out in his apartment." The boys grinned, with the exception of Logan, and Camille shook her head. Kendall led the group down the hallway, stopping when they saw Tyler running toward them.

"You guys won't believe this! The Jennifers are asking out the new guy!" Tyler exclaimed, his face animated. The boys exchanged glances and ran to the pool, leaving Camille a short distance behind. Dexter had spent all of his time unnoticed. Why now was he showing himself? On top of that, how would he react to the Jennifers? He was complicated to read, and perhaps seeing how he interacted with other people would give them a little more leverage on figuring him out. Not only that, but it was intriguing to know that he had sparked the Jennifers' interest.

Stopping once they reached the pool, Carlos pointed out where everyone was looking. Following the crowds' gaze, the boys saw the Jennifers standing around Dexter, who was focused on his CD. He didn't seem at all pleased that they were there, a first for anyone at the Palm Woods to see. The blonde Jennifer cleared her throat, smiling down at him and holding out her hand. The other two followed suit, each of them wearing their best, award-winning smiles. Even then, Dexter didn't seem phased. He slowly moved his headphones down to his neck, frowning up at them.

"Hi, we're the Jennifers. We heard you in the ballroom when we were coming here. You're from England?" blonde Jennifer asked, still smiling. Dexter eyed her, his eyebrow raising upon hearing her introduction. He nodded at her question, picking his CD case back up and reading the song titles. The Jennifers quickly exchanged worried glances, checking their breath with the hands that had been outstretched. "Well, anyway… We don't offer this very often, but would you-"

"No." Dexter instantly replied, cutting Jennifer off. He didn't even look away from his CD. Carlos, Logan, Kendall, and James gawked at the scene, as did everyone else watching. The Jennifers' mouths fell open; none of them had ever been rejected before. When they didn't leave, Dexter set his CD down. His eyes were full of the anger that had been present upon seeing the boys. "Did you hear me? I don't want to fuck you. That's what you want, isn't it? Otherwise you wouldn't be drooling over my cock; you'd be ignoring me, because that's what makes you feel better." He stated, observing the three girls.

"Excuse me?" the curly haired Jennifer demanded, all of them angered and offended. No boy had ever spoke to them that way, and they weren't about to let it start now. They were the ones who told everyone that nipping problems in the bud with new kids was how to rule the pool. "You can't just-"

"Your hair doesn't go with your face. It's ugly." Dexter interrupted her, pulling out the booklet from his CD and reading the lyrics to the songs. He glanced up at the other two, nodding toward the blonde Jennifer. "Your face still has baby fat. Either that or it's just regular fat. At any rate, it's ugly. And you-" His gaze shifted to the last Jennifer. "You're forgettable. I don't see anything worth wanting about you. Hollywood can't mask a plain Jane."

Everything was quiet. No one moved. No one even breathed, it seemed. The Jennifers' eyes were wide, filled with hurt. Unbeknownst to anyone at the Palm Woods, Dexter had just picked and pulled out some of the insecurities of the Jennifers. He observed them for only a minute, and he either saw right through them, or was the pickiest boy on the planet when it came to girls. Dexter looked back at the booklet, turning up the volume on his headphones so he didn't have to place them over his ears again. Tearing up, the Jennifers fled the scene. All eyes were on them, and some of the girls that had listened in were snickering. Nobody, though, could believe what just happened.

Kendall, Logan, James, and Carlos looked after the Jennifers as they ran off wailing. Camille seemed impressed. She didn't necessarily hate the Jennifers, but it was always nice to see them get a reality check every once in a while. Even if Dexter's words were harsh and uncalled for, it was somewhat funny. Katie approached her brothers, her eyes staying on Dexter. He had pulled a newspaper from his bag, and was scanning through it, grinning at certain articles he read.

"What do you make of that, big brother?" Katie asked, glancing up at Kendall. He shook his head.

"Don't go near him, alright?" he whispered sternly, watching Dexter. Katie's eyebrow raised. Her brother had never tried to give her an order before, and it was odd to her that he was trying to shield her from someone now. She trusted his judgment, but she had completely missed why Kendall disliked him. It couldn't have been from the scene that just took place. He didn't care enough about the Jennifers to be that concerned.

"Why?" Katie demanded, curious. Kendall frowned and looked down at her.

"Because I said so! He's got… Just go back to the apartment. We need to take care of something." he demanded. He had never yelled at Katie before. It startled her, but she obeyed him. Whatever this boy did to tick off her brother, he was going to regret it. "Well? Are we gonna question him or what?" Kendall stepped forward, but Camille cut him off.

"I say you guys are taking this too seriously. I'm sure there's an innocent explanation. You're just not approaching Dexter right. Normal people don't typically like strangers demanding to come into their apartment. Especially when they're in a foreign country." she reasoned, her hands on her hips. Carlos looked down, agreeing with Camille. Logan, Kendall, and James, on the other hand, firmly believed they were right in their actions. Seeing the boys weren't going to change their minds, she sighed. "At least _try_ talking to him nicely. One on one?" The boys stared at her, knowing defeat was inevitable; Camille had the look on her face that said she knew she was right. Only once had they challenged it, and none of them forgot her wrath.

"Fine. Whatever! I'm going first." James stated, seeing Kendall's annoyance was bound to get the better of him. He wouldn't last a minute talking calmly with Dexter. Not until he cooled off. James made eye contact with Carlos and Logan, shifting his gaze to Kendall. They understood, and pulled Kendall towards one of the vacant tables. James inhaled deeply, blowing out the gust of breath before making his way to Dexter. He wore his best grin, and walked with his usual swagger and confidence. "Hey, what's up?" James occupied the empty chair beside Dexter casually, as if he were one of his best friends.

"… Excuse me?" Dexter questioned, staring at James as if he were an alien. "What do you want?" James shrugged and relaxed on the chair, soaking in the sun.

"Nothing," he replied simply, turning his gaze to Dexter. "I was just thinking that we could-"

"Holy shit! You're not offering a date for me too, are you?" Dexter cried, standing up. James' eyes widened, and he looked around, shaking his head at passersby. He looked back to Dexter incredulously, unable to believe he'd just said something as ridiculous as that!

"That's pretty vain of you." James retorted, copying Dexter and standing up.

"Pretty hypocritical, you metrosexual Ken doll." Dexter snapped back quickly. His frown was immediately replaced by a smug grin, and James' face flushed a deep shade of crimson. It almost seemed as if Dexter had known exactly what James would do. He found it somewhat scary. Wheeling around, James briskly walked back to his friends. His swagger was forgotten. Camille smiled up at him when he returned, but Carlos, Logan, and Kendall instantly saw something was wrong.

"He's so… He's evil!" James whined, pouting. He pulled out his lucky comb, brushing through his hair. "I am _not_ a Ken doll!" His voice cracked when he said 'not', earning a stifled giggle from Camille. He pulled out his mirror, examining his face for a good three minutes before his confidence slowly began to return.

"You know what, I'll ask him. Straightforward and without hesitation! That's how it should be done!" Logan growled, his mood soured by James' failure. He stood boldly, and took a few steps away from the table before one of their classmates approached him. "Oh, Alan, I'm a bit busy-"

"I just wanted to return your notes. Thanks for letting for letting me borrow them." Alan stated, handing the notebook back to Logan. He walked off, and Logan blinked, shaking his head as he tried to recollect his pumped and assertive mood. Dexter stood up, gathering his things. He was going back to his room. Seeing this, Logan sped up, stopping in front of him.

"For fuck's sake, what?" Dexter demanded, clearly annoyed. He'd been bothered too much today. Logan wasn't intimidated though. His guilt had pushed him as far as Dexter had been pushed.

"Where's Effy? I'm not playing anymore. She's… Where is she?" Logan hissed. He was in Dexter's face, and for a moment, Logan could've sworn he saw Dexter's hardened expression waver. It only boosted Logan's confidence. For once, he was the intimidator. Of course, it didn't last long. Gritting his teeth, Dexter whacked the notebook out of Logan's hands. The book landed in the pool, quickly becoming soaked. Angrily, Logan shoved Dexter back. He'd never been violent before, and everyone knew that. Immediately, Kendall, James, and Carlos stood up, ready to intervene.

"You really want to know where she is?" Dexter breathed, his frightening, copper eyes meeting Logan's. He was quiet for a moment, not blinking at all. "612 Wharf Avenue. Ask you're pretty-boy friend. He'd know. If you decide to go… Effy works nights. Her first break is at nine." With that, Dexter swiftly moved away from Logan, calmly leaving the pool. Logan watched after him until he was in the lobby, then turned to look at his friends. Camille seemed the most surprised, and almost afraid. She'd never imagined Logan could be so fierce. As much of a turn on as it was, it was far from who she knew and loved. He slowly returned to his friends, the address running through his head until he was sure it was branded there.

"So? What did he say?" Carlos eagerly questioned, leaning forward. Logan sat blankly for a few moments, wondering what Dexter meant when he suggested he ask James about the address. It unnerved him. What did he know about them? If he knew who they were, then that meant Effy or Oliver talked about them. What had they given away?

"612 Wharf Avenue. He said Effy works nights…" Logan's voice trailed off when he saw James' eyes widen. He paused for a moment, watching his friend shift uncomfortably. "He said to ask you about it… You might know, or something like that." Kendall and Carlos looked to James, seeing him break out into a small sweat. James could feel his heartbeat picking up. Effy was _there_? He gulped, feeling sick.

"I've only been there once or twice… With Alan and Guitar Dude…" James forced himself to say that much. Seeing his friend struggle only made Logan more anxious. Kendall and Carlos were on the edge of their seats, wanting to know just as much as Logan did.

"Come on, just say it…" Carlos urged him, seeing the conflict in James' eyes. James gulped again.

"It's a strip club."


	6. Chapter 11: The Other Girl

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Author's Note: Spring Break has descended upon me, and I have time to write! Huzzah! I just might start posting the rest of the Jatie story soon, and maybe I'll even get a start on writing the CarlosxOC! I have the name and story confirmed, and the hint will be in this story sometime soon. I'm really stoked because I'm almost done writing this story. I hope the twists and turns put you guys on the edge of your seats.

Shout out to _waterwicca_ and her story Past The Sorrow! It's fucking brilliant; the latest chapter damn near made me have a stroke! Go check it out, I promise you won't be disappointed. And congrats to her for winning "Best OC Story"!

**On another note, the songs Dexter will be playing in this chapter are Dresden Doll songs: "The Kill" and "Missed Me" (in that order).**

**Enjoy, everyone! Review (or not), it's cool.**

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Chapter 11: The Other Girl

_I'd really like to talk to you again, preferably without the awkward surroundings. If you're mad, I understand, I just really need to explain a few things to you. Come to the pool at noon. We can talk everything over then, if you'd like. If not… Then I know you'd rather not be friends anymore. Like I said, I understand. You were right though, the guys and I don't have much privilege to ask you so many personal questions. We're sorry. Hopefully you accept this apology._

_-Logan_

Walking down the deserted streets of L.A. at three in the morning was anything but safe. However, it was just as risky to wait at a bus stop. After midnight, buses took forever to pick up the people that were still awake. Effy didn't care. She wanted the time to think. Stifling a yawn, thoughts about the slightly chilled air filled her head. Once the bus arrived, Effy climbed aboard, taking her usual spot in the front seat. Staring out of the window, she closed her eyes and leaned her head against it. The glass was cold, much to her disdain. Even so, she was tired. Her trench coat was closed, but it wasn't as securely tied as it had been when she arrived at the club. She had simply thrown it on when her shift was over. Though she wanted time to think, it seemed she arrived back at the Palm Woods before any important thought could register. Sighing, she exited the bus, taking off her heels once she was on the sidewalk. They made her feet sore after spending eight hours dancing in them.

Effy stealthily crept through the dark lobby, taking the stairs up to her room. Again, she stifled a yawn as she groggily ascended to her floor. Now, of all times, her mind wandered to the thought of Logan, James, Carlos, and Kendall. She'd been longing to see them for so long. She wanted the chance to reunite with them. Yell at them. Love them. Hate them. In all honesty, Effy had no idea what she wanted to do when she saw the boys. She didn't have it planned out, and they found her before she could think of anything to say. So she reacted with anger. She felt they deserved to have some harsh words instilled in their brains, but she knew that wasn't the only reason she'd come to L.A. There were a few reasons, but the main one was still to be decided with her. As she tried to figure things out, she stopped in front of her apartment, fishing her key from her pocket. When she looked up, she saw the folded piece of paper taped to the door.

"Eff…" she read, skimming through the note. Effy read it over twice, pausing when she stared at the signature. Her thumb ran over the smooth page, and she felt her throat tighten. Logan still wanted to talk. Scanning the halls for a clock, she saw one on the table behind her. It was three-thirty in the morning. Closing her eyes, she pondered over what to do. She could wake up at noon with no problem, but did she want to? Was she going to accept his apology? Logan was too smart for her liking; meeting him meant she forgave him. She pondered over the message, shoving it into her pocket. Perhaps she _would_ meet him. Logan wasn't going to get off easy though. Whatever wrath she had needed to get out.

Stepping into the apartment, Effy silently closed and locked the door behind her as to not wake up Oliver. She set her heels down beside the door, slowly walking towards her brothers' room. Cracking the door open, she saw him fast asleep on the bed. He still had his day clothes on, and Effy shook her head disapprovingly. She shrugged off the minor thought, and moved closer to him, leaning down and kissing his forehead. A small smile spread across her face, and when she stepped back towards the door, she noticed a pile of photos faced down on the nightstand. Curiously, she picked up the pictures, knowing they had to be Oliver's work.

On the very top of the pile, there was a picture of Effy and Dexter. He had his arm around her, and while she smiled, he had a more neutral expression. Frowning, Effy quickly moved on to the next. However, it was yet another photo of her and Dexter. She was further back, staring over her shoulder. Dexter was glaring down, dangerously close to the camera. Once again, she immediately changed pictures. She soon found out though, that they were all of her and Dexter. When had Oliver taken all of them? She remembered him asking them to pose every so often, there were a lot of situations she remembered when she could've sworn he didn't have a camera. Rubbing her temple, Effy took a deep breath, setting the photos back down. She trembled, trying to clear her mind as she left the room. Feeling lightheaded, she locked the door before plopping down on the bed. She felt movement beside her, but she closed her eyes, doing her best to ignore it…

"_You're a sodding twat, you know that? I've done nothing but help you, and you're going right back to what put you in the mess I found you in! How many fucking times have we been over this shit? I'm warning you, if you don't keep the backbone I gave you, you're going to wind up killing yourself! I promise you this Effy, no one is going to fucking know you the way I do," Dexter shouted, his voice saturated with anger. Effy clenched her fists, wanting to retaliate. "I know every dirty secret you have, and I could let the world know. You better make the right choice about this. Those prepubescent ignoramus-" That was more than Effy could take._

"_You don't know them, Dexter! Stop acting like you do!" Effy cried, standing up. Glaring menacingly, Dexter swiftly approached her, his face only an inch away from hers. He grabbed her arms, pulling her close. His grip on her was strong, painful. She winced, looking away._

"_I know enough." Dexter breathed, his eyes drilling into Effy. A sob escaped her lips, and Dexter threw her down. "You're going to fucking regret this. I swear." With that, he left, too disgusted to look at her._

"Ah!" Effy gasped, her eyes flying open. Catching her breath, she tried to decipher if her dream was actually a dream, or a memory. Had it been a conversation she had with Dexter before going to bed? With the way her nightmares ran together with her memories, she couldn't tell. Shaking her head, she sat up. The sunlight that poured through the window blinded her, and it took her a few minutes to adjust. Groaning, she looked at the clock. It was eleven-fifteen. Remembering the note Logan had left on her door, Effy stretched and rolled out of bed. She picked out an outfit, hesitating before deciding against it. She went through her last few clean outfits before figuring that it didn't matter. Blowing out a deep breath, she started the shower, bathing as rapidly as she could. Her mind mulled over things she could say to Logan, but nothing felt right. Her stomach churned with nerves as she dressed, and she almost felt sick.

"Effy? Where are you going?" Oliver asked, looking away from the TV. He sat, legs crossed, only a couple feet away from the television screen. His expression was curious as he watched his sister check herself in the mirror. She slipped on her shoes, tying them loosely. "Are you getting food? We have pop tarts and grape soda, still. Can I make waffles if you buy them? It said on the TV we can have the best day if we eat Momma Jean's waffles." Effy couldn't help but chuckle at her twin. She ruffled his hair, much to his dislike, and gripped the doorknob.

"Maybe. I'll have to talk to Dexter before I do any shopping," she answered, giving Oliver a small smirk. His excited face sobered a bit at the mention of Dexter, and it didn't go unnoticed by his sister. "I'm thinking you and me can go out and shop while we wash the clothes, even if he says no. Sound okay?" Oliver's smile returned, and he nodded vigorously. Effy gave him a parting wave, locking the door before she left. Taking a deep breath, she found herself unwilling to move. Logan was going to be waiting for her at the pool. She'd waited months for this moment, but she still didn't know what to do. It was too sudden. It wasn't supposed to happen until she was ready!

Setting one foot in front of the other, Effy slowly neared the elevator. It reached her floor and opened, letting out the Jennifers. One was eating a health bar that allegedly burned calories, the other was straightening her hair, and the last one was applying a layer of makeup that was clearly too much. Effy watched them leave to their room, and stepped into the elevator. Shaking her head, she tried to think of something to say to Logan. Last night he'd wanted no confrontation between them, but with all that had happened, there was really no way around it. She was allowed to be angry, wasn't she? Faster than she'd hoped, the elevator beeped and opened, letting her off on the first floor. Nervously, Effy walked out into the hallway, looking around. There were people coming and going, some of them holding scripts, and others playing instruments.

Effy's feet carried her down the hall, passed all of the people. She swallowed the lump in her throat several times before she reached the lobby. What was she going to say? Contemplating her options, Effy was torn between having a good yell at Logan (and all of the boys, for that matter), or telling him everything that had happened after the boys' departure. There was so much she wanted to say, and she couldn't figure out how she wanted to orchestrate it all. There really was no way she could, at least not without sounding insane. Wincing, Effy shook her head and decided to go with whatever came out first. Again, she took a deep breath, walking towards the pool. Almost instantly, she saw the boys. Kendall was walking towards her with two smoothies, and she quickly hid her face, hoping to avoid him. She was too nervous. Once he passed her, she peered outside. James, Logan, and Carlos were sitting at one of the tables. Effy felt her heartbeat speed up, and her breathing become short and uneven. Her body shook as she took a step outside, and just as she did, someone ran passed her. Stumbling, Effy looked up to see a girl with long, curly brunette hair running to Logan. She sat in his lap, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him.

"_You're going to fucking regret this. I swear."_

The words replayed in Effy's mind as her heart sank into her stomach. She felt sick, and too clammy for comfort. She wanted to lay down. Her legs trembled, and she desperately wished to close her eyes, but she couldn't look away. A minute passed, and still the brunette girl was kissing Logan. As soon as she broke away from him, Effy wheeled around and staggered back into the lobby. Her mouth had dried, and her heart was now pounding violently against her chest.

"Effy?" a familiar voice called out. Effy turned her head slowly, peering over her shoulder. Kendall was squinting, trying to see if it was really her. Panicking, she tried to force her legs forward, but fell against the wall. "Effy!" She knew he was going to get up. She just knew it.

"Stay away from me!" she cried, her voice cracking. Kendall saw her look back at him, and her eyes were red. He didn't move an inch. What was going on with her? Effy choked back her whimpers, picking up her speed. She bounded towards the elevator, shutting her eyes at the sound of the music people were playing.

**_Don't wait around for love_**

**_You're not what he's thinking of_**

**_When he's with the other girl…_**

Gagging, Effy could feel herself wanting to fall. She continually pressed the button for the elevator, thankful that it was empty when it finally opened for her. Standing inside, she stared up at the lights while she was taken to her floor. The motion of the elevator threatened to make her sick, but she persisted in staring at the lights. She felt dizzy. She didn't want to move anymore. Coming to a halt, the sudden stop made her fall forward out into the hall, and she landed on her hands and knees. Effy coughed, feeling her breath get caught in her throat. Weakly pushing herself up, she shuddered with each deep breath she took as she made her way back to her apartment. Her hand trembled as she tried to unlock the door, and she dropped her key twice before finally managing to open it. Oliver was back in his room, and she could hear the clicking of his camera, as well as see the flash coming from his room. Leaving her key on the table beside the sofa, she kicked off her shoes before locking herself in her room.

"Dexter," Effy whispered, leaning against the door to the bathroom. She hit her head against it, biting her lip. "You were right, and I was wrong…" She could hear Dexter laughing, mocking her. The door opened, and she stepped inside, her head hanging down. His laugh faded, and she felt chills as he moved passed her. Angrily, she slammed the door, locking herself in.

Effy stared at the mirror, her nails digging into her face. Her breathing became more strained, and suddenly, she screamed. Throwing her hands at the mirror, she hit against it. She picked up the hairbrush, banging it into the mirror until it cracked. A piece of it chipped out, and the rough shard cut into her hand. Blood seeped out of the small wound, and she wiped it across the mirror, blocking her reflection. She cried, shrieking out of frustration when she could still faintly see herself. Gasping for breath, she yanked the drawers open, searching for Dexter's lighter. Finding it, she set it on the counter and grabbed one of her razors from the package. Breaking the razor and pulling out the blades, she clicked on the lighter, heating the thin sheets of metal.

"Effy…" Dexter called, his knuckles rapping against the door. "Don't do it, Eff." He heard her screams, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "FUCK!" He slammed his fist against the door, knowing Oliver could hear her screams as well. He had to have been used to it, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to affect him. Dexter knew the boy was scared out of his mind whenever things like this happened. Pounding against the door again, he waited for Effy to open it. She always did. She had no choice…

"_I'll help you work on this, okay?" Dexter assured Effy, pulling the glass from her hand. This was the third plate she'd broken, all for a piece of glass. He ran his fingers through her hair, relieved that he'd been able to stop her before she did any damage to herself. Hiccupping, Effy pulled away from him, trying to calm herself down. She wanted to speak._

"_I want to be normal again," Effy whimpered, squeezing Dexter's wrist. "I… I don't know why I need to do things like that. I hate seeing my skin sometimes, and I want it to go away. There are times after I hurt my skin, and I can't remember what happens next. It could be days later that I'll remember things. Everything in between… it slips through the cracks, and I'm scared." Hearing her admit this was a huge step, and Dexter tilted her chin up. There was a small smile on his face, the first Effy had seen from him._

"_I understand, alright? That's why I'm here, okay? From now on, I'll help you. I'll help you remember, and I'll help you be stronger. I promise." Dexter stated, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. His hand stroked her hair, and he held her against him. "I promise."_

Those words seemed so simple, and Dexter had come to find that they weren't. Not one bit. Nearly half an hour had passed, and he'd spent it cleaning up Effy's mess. Once he left the room, closing the door behind him, he saw Oliver standing. He was waiting. As many times as it happened, he knew that there would eventually be one day when Dexter wouldn't come out and say Effy would be fine. Oliver knew when that day came, he would have to walk into her room, and find her dead. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he threw himself at Dexter.

"Stop Oliver. Effy's not hurt anymore." Dexter said flatly, pushing Oliver off of him. The boy sniffed, staring down at his feet. "Stay out of her room. Understand? I'll be back later." Oliver nodded, remaining rooted to his spot while Dexter shrugged into his jacket. He slammed the door behind him as he left, a piece of paper clenched in his hand. He saw the note while Effy was looking it over in bed, and an argument had ensued. He knew nothing good would come of it.

Storming down the halls, Dexter's shoulders bumped into people that passed him. He wasn't going to move for them. He was too mad. Those who paid attention knew to move for _him_. Once in the hall of the first floor, he bumped into the boy he had referred to as a Ken doll - the boy he knew to be James, one of Effy's old friends from Sherwood. James didn't look up however. He seemed to be too engulfed in a script he was reading. Rolling his eyes, Dexter continued toward the pool. His eyes searched for Logan, landing on him and Camille at one of the tables. Scowling, he walked towards them. Logan spotted Dexter coming, and feeling uneasy, moved Camille to his other side.

"You fucking leave her alone!" Dexter shouted, earning stares from everyone around. He threw the note at Logan, narrowing his eyes. "Effy doesn't need this shit, alright?" His blood boiled, and he could taste the acid in his words. Logan's eyes betrayed him, and for a quick moment, Dexter saw all the guilt he had suffered through, and all the regret that still lingered. Perhaps it would be there forever. It made Dexter want to smile, but he didn't. Instead, he sat down. Instead, he took a deep breath and looked to Logan again, his stare hard, but somehow softer. "I'll ask you nicely. Don't fuck her head over anymore. She can't take that. Just let her be, capiche?" Camille looked from Dexter to her boyfriend, slightly taken aback by the change in the foreign boy.

"Fine." Logan sighed, standing up. "Can you just tell her I said I'm sorry? The boys and I are _all_ sorry, and we hope… She's better." Dexter paused, then nodded.

"Sure thing." he promised. Camille reached out for Logan's hand, but he pulled away.

"I'm going to the museum. I'll be back later, okay? Have fun practicing your script with James." Logan mumbled, giving Camille a half-smile. She watched him turn and leave, sighing when he was out of her sight. Dexter watched her wallow in her disappointment for a moment before rolling his eyes and standing up.

"Would you like to hear me play music again? When you're not rehearsing, that is." Dexter offered, trying to sound as polite as possible. Sarcasm was his default, and he found it awkward to speak without it. Anger and sarcasm. Those were his safety nets, in a sense. Camille's eyebrow raised, confused by his words. He didn't blame her. She'd seen a few different sides of him. What she didn't realize, was that these sides were fueled by emotion. He'd seen her acting insane and, as of now, melancholy. It wasn't all that different. "Yes or no? I don't have all day." Familiar with his annoyed tone, Camille found herself wanting to go with him.

"Sure." she answered, standing up and following him back to the ballroom. Camille wondered how he was so different from one day to the next, and almost thought that being around him was as dangerous as Logan had previously implied. However, his accent gave her a bizarre feeling of security. She'd always been attracted to accents, and it felt foolish to let his alter her judgment. Of course, it was only piano playing. What harm was in listening to some of his songs? He seemed like a nice enough person, so to speak. Camille found the stool she'd resided on the last time she listened to him play, and sat down, watching him observe the piano for a moment. His hands glided over the keys, playing a simple melody. She smiled at the original piece, still curious as to what the mystery behind Dexter was. He glanced over at Camille, seeing her staring. He could see something that seemed like wonder on her face.

"You know, I've been told that I'm quite good at reading people." he stated, not stopping his song. Dexter turned, seeing Camille was now confused. "You were staring, and I noticed you seemed to be thinking. What about? My music? Logan? Me?" He grinned, picking up his speed in the song.

"Uh, it's nothing, really. You're just confusing." Camille admitted. Dexter didn't seem affected by these words. "I mean, you're so quiet and passive one moment, and then you become angry. Then once you're, I guess bored, with being angry… You become a bit nicer." He smiled, finishing the song and facing Camille again. She was quite the reader herself!

"Does that mean you want to know why?" Dexter questioned, his grin stretching. It was an eerie grin, and had she not been so polite, Camille would've asked him to stop. Instead, she kept her eye contact with him. He was bizarre, in how he could have such a charm just minutes after being in a rage.

"I'm just curious. Who are you, really? Which Dexter is the real Dexter?" Camille inquired, starting to grin herself. Dexter chuckled, turning back to the piano. She awaited his response anxiously, slightly doubtful to whether he would answer at all. There was always the chance he wanted to keep himself a mystery. Maybe that's what made him who he was. Suddenly, he began playing an entirely new song.

"It's so much more awkward to describe yourself with single words. You know, like loyal. Or honest. If I were to use words, I would say immaturity and irresponsibility make up the real Dexter," he explained, his eyes closed. His fingers danced along the keys, playing the same few notes again and again. "The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old folks home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, and you spend your last nine months floating. You finish off as an orgasm." Camille laughed. Dexter's inflection, and the delivery of his words was perfect.

"And that makes you Dexter?" Camille asked, still laughing. Dexter continued, playing the same few notes.

"I like to tell people I have the heart of a small boy. Then I say it's in a jar on my desk." he stated, hearing Camille giggling. "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late. I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. Only two things in life are certain: death, and that Twinkies will outlast you. Maybe this world… is another planets' hell." When Camille's giggles became fewer and far between, Dexter knew he was becoming too cynical for her. His fingers stopped pressing down on the keys, and the music faded.

"So that's Dexter?" Camille asked, her voice soft. Dexter's lips became a neutral line, and he shrugged, nodding his head. "Interesting." A few moments of silence passed.

"You should probably get to that fellow Logan said you were running lines with." Dexter finally stated, standing up. "I have to go to the store. Oliver needs to eat." With that, he left Camille, not waiting for a response. Her time with him proved to reveal a lot, but at the same time, confuse her more. She couldn't decipher any hidden meanings. It was like trying to solve a math equation, and not being given real numbers - just variables.

Camille watched after Dexter for a moment, then headed to apartment 2J for rehearsal with James.


	7. Chapter 2: Built This Way

**Author's Note: Everyone, I'm terribly sorry for the lateness. Though... I kinda doubt anyone cares. I mean, I think about three people are reading this. So to you, I'm sorry. I've been swamped with coursework (English being the major one, which is odd, because I'm good at that) and my whacked off sleeping pattern. We have a research paper about our tiny town, 150+ years ago. Notes and cards are due tomorrow, I've got 17 out of 25. Whoot? I'm not sure whether to be stoked or not. Anywho, enough about trivial things. I finally squeezed in some time, and I'm posting this! I'm pretty sure I read over it... Tell me if there's errors, please! I think that's about it... Oh! I'm changing my update days. It's now Tuesday, since Monday is a day for evil.**

**Also, I can't give shout outs today because I haven't had time to read anything (and christinainwonderland JUST posted more to her story, yay!), but I'll see what I can give you guys next week. Thanks a heap, and I hope you enjoy. Please review! :)**

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Chapter 2: Built This Way

_Red and orange leaves flew about in the autumn breeze, brushing passed Effy's skin. An aroma of pumpkins and maple trees filled the air, and the leaves crunched under her feet as she walked. She was searching for Logan, her best friend since the first day of Kindergarten. Kendall, James, and Carlos were best friends, but not the way Logan was. Something about him was different, and Effy firmly believed it was the fact that he was the first to get her to talk. She'd long forgotten what all triggered the events that led to her and Logan sharing a lunch. All she knew was that it happened, and the result was the formation of friendship. Another cool breeze blew her candy apple red hair back, and she surveyed the area before continuing on._

_Logan sat in the empty lot of the abandoned drive-in theater, reading one of his heavy medical books. Since early childhood, he'd been studying medicine and anything related. He was one of the few people Effy knew that could keep pursuing his dream, regardless of the time that passed. She, at last, made it to the drive-in. It was the last place she thought he'd be, but she was just glad to have found him. Knowing he was oblivious to the outside world when he read, she neared him, shadowing his book as she towered over him. Almost instantly, he noticed the shadow, bolting upright. His startled face fell when he saw it was only Effy, and he closed his book. He hated when she scared him._

_"How long have you been here?" Effy questioned, circling him. Logan stood up, dusting off his jeans. His wardrobe hadn't improved much since elementary school. He still wore neutral colors like gray, brown, black, and the occasional navy. Though, as he entered high school, he wore more long-sleeved sweaters with holes cut for his thumbs. Effy always thought it made him look like a basket case, but it worked for him, so she kept her opinions to herself._

_"Since, err- two." Logan answered, looking at his watch. It was well passed four in the afternoon. Effy snickered, reaching out and snatching away the book he held. His page was marked, and she opened to it, seeing that he was reading about the properties of medications and how one could affect the other. Raising her eyebrow, she skimmed through a few pages, and suddenly the book skipped to a page that was folded in. Logan cleared his throat and quickly reached out for the book, but Effy whirled around to keep it away from him. Folding open the page, she saw it was a section on pervasive developmental disorder. "Eff, I-"_

_"Why'd you have this marked?" Effy demanded, not looking up from the page. Oliver had PDD, and she'd revealed this to Logan long ago when she learned the proper name of his disability. Although she was open about it to her friends, it was a touchy subject for her. Aside from her late father, Oliver was the number one male in her life._

_"Effy, it's nothing serious. I just wanted to read up on it… so I'd know." Logan answered lamely, trying his best to keep his friend reasonable. He knew how she could get if she didn't like where the topic was going. "I mean, I thought I could help, or… something." Effy didn't seem to buy it. She stared at the book a while longer, finally shutting it after a few tense minutes. Handing the book back to Logan, she shrugged._

_"I've already read everything written on the subject. There's nothing that can be done for him." she stated flatly, crossing her arms. Logan wasn't one to read people well, especially not girls, but Effy had been his friend since they were five. Over the years, he learned what her movements meant. When she crossed her arms the way she was doing now, she wanted to stop talking about whatever the subject was, or she was uncomfortable and wanted to leave the source of the uncomforting vibes._

_"You wanna grab some pizza? I heard the guys say they might go to Tony's after Saturday detention for a slice." Logan offered, changing the subject. Typically, getting Effy's mind away from her brother (or anything that was a sensitive subject) snapped her back to her normal self. Today was no exception. Her face lightened up again, and her smile returned._

_"Sure, why not?" Effy responded, giving his shoulder a light punch. Relief washed over Logan. He hated trying to tame the angry side of Effy. She was normally quite a reserved girl, but when enough was enough, she made sure to make that clear._

_Meandering down the road, Logan and Effy made their way into town. Small as it was, there were advantages. The main one was being able to walk everywhere. No car meant no need for gas money, and that meant more money for important things. Food, in other words. The boys could eat everything in Tony's Café if they were allowed to, and though Effy didn't like eating in front of anyone, she would occasionally indulge in the sweets offered there._

_As Logan and Effy entered the busier part of town, they made small comments on how the town failed year after year with putting a stoplight at the intersection of Vessels and Lincoln St. There were dozens of little things the town needed to improve. One particular improvement Logan wanted was an up-to-date museum. Their library was pretty much all they had to rely on history, and it was poorly stocked. Something Effy wanted was a dance studio. Over the years, she grew as a dancer, teaching herself everything from ballet to jazz. Modern dance had to be her favorite, but she couldn't share that with anyone in town. The boys knew of her passion for the art, but they belonged on the ice. Simply put, they were awful dancers. James wanted a bigger mall to fit his hair care needs, Carlos claimed they absolutely needed a corndog warehouse, and Kendall insisted that what the town really needed was more ice rinks, built strictly for hockey._

_Upon darting across the street and avoiding traffic, the pair found themselves outside of Tony's Café. Through the windows, Logan could see Kendall, James, and Carlos sitting in the booth on the far left corner. Nudging Effy, he pointed them out, and they jogged up the steps, entering the warm building. Now that she thought about it, Effy could feel the difference in the air. Just days ago it had been comfortably warm, and now it was growing cooler and cooler. Soon enough there would be nothing but the infamous Minnesota snow. She didn't necessarily mind snow, but she preferred warm weather._

_"Logan! Effy!" Carlos hollered, waving his arms. His mouth was crammed full with fries, but he still managed to speak. Rolling her eyes, Effy skipped ahead of Logan, sliding into the booth with the rest of the boys. Carlos swallowed his food, hailing over the waitress. "You want something, Eff? My uncle came to visit and he gave me twenty dollars. I'll buy!" He grinned, pulling what was left of his money out of his pocket. Laughing sheepishly, she shook her head. Logan occupied the seat beside Effy, sandwiching her between him and Carlos._

_"Can I help you?" the waitress asked, pulling her pen and notepad from her pocket. Carlos gave Effy a questioning stare, and Effy shook her head, confirming that she wasn't hungry. Logan, meanwhile, pulled out his wallet and checked how much he had. Shrugging, he looked up._

_"I'll have a slice of pizza. Pepperoni." he ordered._

_"Make that two for me!" Carlos exclaimed, holding up his hand. Kendall and James glanced at each other, then to the waitress._

_"Add two more to that." they said simultaneously. Effy smirked, and the waitress left to place their order. Already on the table were four food baskets, empty of everything aside from the paper and crumbs. When she tilted her head, she saw the boys staring._

_"What?" she asked, looking back at them nervously. All of them chuckled. They knew Effy hated being the center of attention, and immediately lost her cool demeanor when all eyes were on her. It was amusing to see, and they were playful about it. Carlos squirmed where he sat; he was never able to sit still._

_"We hardly ever see you eat." James answered, still chuckling. Kendall nodded, seconding the statement._

_"I'm just never hungry when we hang out." Effy answered quickly, looking away. She tried to play it off casually, but the boys knew she was avoiding the subject. When they saw her eat, it was usually a couple French fries, or a sip at a smoothie. On several occasions they pressured her into taking a bite of hot dogs or cheeseburgers, but she stopped after a single bite. She always insisted she was never hungry, and though they believed her, it was weird when put into perspective. Looking at Effy, it was clear she hardly ate. While the boys were thin in a healthy way, and ate somewhat appropriately for their size and age, Effy was a frightful slender. It wasn't to the point where one could see her bones, but rather, she was simply too petite to be normal. Her clothes were always too big for her, and she couldn't lift a weight to save her life. Scrawny was another way to describe her, but that didn't seem exactly right either._

_Much to Effy's relief, the waitress came back at that moment, distracting the boys with their pizza. Fervently, they attacked the food, consuming it almost faster than Effy could blink. She laughed as she watched them, rubbing her arm. Seeing the hot food made her stomach rumble, and she prayed neither Logan nor Carlos heard. They would force her to eat something if they did. Unfortunately for her, Logan happened to hear. He knew Effy. She would lie about not being hungry, and only minutes later he would hear her stomach growling. Why she refused to eat half the time, he didn't know. Rather, he wished he didn't know. A little truth was frightening at times. While reading over Oliver's mental health issues, he somehow managed to stray to other disorders. Though he didn't remember exactly what he read, he remembered that Effy came to mind when he read symptoms included starving oneself or binge eating. He doubted she had a serious mental condition, but he did know she wouldn't eat if she could get away with it._

_Peering over at Kendall, Logan made eye contact with him, giving a small nod towards Effy. Understanding, Kendall nudged James and motioned to her, then kicked Carlos. He winced, glaring at his friend until he realized he was motioning at Effy. She was busy staring at the pile of trash, lost in her thoughts as she usually would be. The boys knew what to do if Effy wouldn't eat. If they could intervene with the bad habit, they would. Swiftly grabbing Effy's hands, Kendall and James held them down against the table. Her nonexistent strength verses theirs was no competition, so she didn't try to free herself. She frowned, knowing what was coming. Carlos carefully grabbed her chin, trying to open her mouth. Logan had his slice of pizza ready._

_"We can do this the easy way," Kendall offered, holding up one of his hands. "Or the usual way." He gave her a smug grin, knowing she was going to eat either way. Effy sighed, rolling her eyes. Today wasn't a day she felt like fighting them. Grudgingly, she opened her mouth. The boys cheered, laughing as Logan fed her the pizza. James pushed his glass of water towards her, and she took a few sips, shaking her head as she pushed the glass back. As the laughter died down, Carlos brought up a question none of them ever had the courage to really ask._

_"Why don't you feed yourself, Eff?" he wondered aloud, causing them all to freeze. Effy's hands moved to either of her arms, rubbing them loosely. Logan knew what that motion meant. It was slightly different from what she did when she wanted to stop talking about Oliver. She was willing to talk about this subject, but she wasn't happy about it, and she wasn't comfortable. She only went along with it to satisfy her friends. Kendall and James had leaned in a bit, interested in knowing. Though they had all been friends since Kinder, not all of Effy's behavior was explained. It didn't always matter, but sometimes it was really interesting._

_"I honestly don't know." Effy answered, giving a small shrug. She heard her stomach growl again, and after looking at Carlos, he gladly pushed his second slice to her. "Thanks… Well, like I said, I don't know. I just know I'm not always comfortable eating. It's weird." Slowly, she nibbled at the slice, chewing the small bites as much as possible before swallowing._

_"It's not a crime to be hungry." James assured her, pushing his hair back. Effy smiled. Her hockey-head friends could be amazingly sweet when the situation called for it. Observing the pizza for a minute, she took a normal sized bite, once again receiving cheers from her friends. She ate at a steady pace, listening to her friends talk about detention, and the shenanigans they thought about pulling, but decided to save for next time. It always amused her how they said 'next time', as if planning on being in bad situations._

_"Guys? What's the one thing that could ruin our night?" Kendall suddenly asked, his eyes locked on something outside. The others followed his gaze, seeing a fairly large group of people coming their way. A few of the people in the group were taping flyers to the streetlights and walls, and Effy immediately recognized them as leaders of the student council. In the group with them were some of the football players, cheerleaders, a couple baseball players, and flag girls. In their high school, sports were everything. If you weren't affiliated with something sporty, you were just another name on the roster. As stereotypical as it sounded, that's how the small town was. Sadly, small towns were doomed to remain that way, even as the outside world progressed with evolution._

_Though Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos were on the hockey team, the fact that three of them were always getting in trouble, and one of them was too smart for a majority of the schools' liking, they were lowered to Effy's rank. She wasn't a part of anything school oriented. She attended school, and that was about it. On top of that, she had a brother in special needs classes. Her cards weren't the best to play with, and to top it off, she was an overall different person. Not eating was one thing, but the other important thing she didn't do, was consider her dress. She threw on whatever was comfortable. As trivial and materialistic as it sounded, that was the dynamics of high school. Personalities wouldn't be "in" until they reached the real world, and maybe not even then._

_"Brace yourself." James warned. The bell that signified the arrival of customers rang, and the chatter of the group filled the café. Effy had always wondered (as well as Logan, Kendall, and Carlos) why James bothered with the students higher on the popularity scale in his on and off fashion, but they knew deep down he was more into his friends than something as ridiculous as popularity. He reasoned that he was too good looking for them to offer his full attention, but again, the real reason was evident. Kendall would've fit well with popularity, but he was as stubborn as a mule, and his rebellious streak wouldn't allow him to conform to it. He was too passionate about friendship anyway, and he would actually admit it._

_"Hey! It's the hockey boys!" one of the girls shouted, causing a portion of the group to look over at Kendall, James, Logan, Carlos, and Effy. She shrank behind Logan, wishing the people would just move along and leave them alone. Of course, she never got her wishes. "You guys planning on going to the schools' fall dance next weekend? We've all been working super hard on it!" The girl talking was named Alison Fisher, and the boys firmly believed she was a robot. No one was **that** chipper. Glancing at each other, the boys made faces and shrugged. Dances like this weren't their thing. For one, they couldn't dance. For another, school dances were always stupid. Their time was better spent hanging out anywhere else, and that was what they always did. Besides, it was more trouble than it was worth to try and get a date. After setting off the sprinklers on various girls' sporting teams, the boys had angered too many girls to have a decent chance with dating._

_"What about you, Elizabeth?" another girl asked, standing beside Alison. This girl was named Rebecca Smith. She was the picture perfect cheerleader, and as nice as she was, Effy never felt comfortable around her. The girl insisted on calling her Elizabeth, though time and time again, Effy always corrected her! She was about to answer, when the boys burst out laughing._

_"Really? Effy isn't into that. She's more boyish than we are!" Logan joked, snickering. Rebecca and Alison laughed with the boys before aiming to return to their friends, who had taken to sitting in the booths furthest from the boys and Effy._

_"Well, I hope you **guys** think about it." Alison stated, putting emphasis on 'guys'. Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos laughed for a few minutes more. When the laughter finally faded, they saw Effy had left her half-eaten slice untouched. She had her arms crossed, and was giving off the vibe that she wanted to move._

_"Eff?" Logan whispered, placing his hand on her shoulder._

_"Could I get out?" Effy asked coolly, giving him a blank stare. Regretting what he said, he stood up, letting her out of the booth._

_"Effy, he didn't mean anything by it." Kendall declared, knowing they'd gone too far. As tough as the boys had helped her become, Effy was still a girl, and she was still sensitive to a lot of things. Try as she might to hide it, she wasn't made of stone._

_"Yeah, we weren't trying to tease." Carlos added, perking up. "It's just… Well, dances are lame. They're things you dress up and get all girly for. I've never seen you get girly. You always have your hair in that little ponytail, and you always wear jeans and flannels." Effy's eyes darted down to her clothes. That was exactly what she was wearing. A blue flannel, with blue jeans. None of it fit her form properly, and it was all purchased from the male section of the mall. The last feminine things she'd worn were the dresses and pink overalls her mother forced her to wear in Kindergarten. Since then, her wardrobe was shirts, sweaters, and jeans. As for her hair, she always tied it back loosely to keep it out of her face. It wasn't a stout, strong ponytail, but rather a weak, hasty one. Now that she thought about it, the girliest thing she did nowadays was dye her hair. Every month or so she would dye it to keep it the candy apple red shade it had been since she was four._

_True as the boys' observations and statements had been, Effy didn't like it. She couldn't really explain to herself why she chose to do the things she did, act the way she acted, or dress the way she dressed. What she did just happened, and she didn't see any other way. It reminded her of how Oliver functioned. He had routines that were absolutely necessary to follow. He couldn't be interrupted and just continue where he left off; he had to get his point across in one go. Perhaps her personality and all the things she did or didn't do were her own autistic vices, but she didn't know. She just knew that she was who she was, even if she didn't like to think about it all the time._

_"Err, yeah. Okay. I'm- uh- gonna step outside for a minute." Effy mumbled, leaving the boys behind. Stepping outside, the chilled air nipped at her. The sun had finally set, and though there was still a small ray of light, it was sluggishly fading. Effy breathed into her hands, warming them up. She always became cold quickly, but she usually had the boys around to keep her warm. Their rambunctious energy seemed to radiate off in the form of heat, so with them, she was never too cold. Upon hearing the café bell, she expected to see one, if not all, of the boys. "You know I meant I wanted a minute alone, right?"_

_"Sorry, Effy. I must've missed that memo." a voice that didn't belong to James, Kendall, Logan, or Carlos stated. Whipping around, Effy's eyes slightly widened at who she saw. Alec Davis, one of the more important players on the baseball team, stood before her, bearing a playful grin. The only thing that came to Effy's mind was the question, **What was he doing out here?** Seeing her curious expression, Alec quickly explained himself. "Um, I kind of wanted to ask you something." He approached Effy, and her automatic reaction was to step back. Seeing her move away, he stopped, holding up his hands as if surrendering._

_"W-what?" Effy demanded, her voice weak. Granted, Alec wasn't mean to her, but it wasn't like they spoke. The only people at school she talked to were Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan. If there was any friendly interaction with others, it was for the moment and because Effy was a decent person. Other than that, no one spoke to her. When people did, it was either to comment with something rude or stupid about her choice of clothing, her lack of communication, or her brother. Alec Davis wasn't someone she spoke to at all. When she sifted through her memory of him, she considered she may have asked him to pass a beaker over to her when they were doing a chemistry lab together, or maybe he'd asked to borrow a pencil. That was all there was. So why did he want to ask her something?_

_"Uh, well, you know my sister, right? Angela?" Alec began, watching Effy for her reaction. "Well, she uh- she works with the special needs classes during her free periods. She mentions your brother a lot. She said he's like… really normal, compared to the others." Effy instantly thought about her brother, and indeed remembered him mentioning the name 'Angela'._

_"And?" she questioned, crossing her arms. She was becoming more guarded. If the boys couldn't talk to her about her brother, Alec Davis definitely couldn't._

_"Well, ever since Angie saw that Forest Gump movie, she's been sort of crushing on him. Don't… think of it weirdly, it's like… serious, you know?" Alec explained. Effy's eyes widened, and her eyebrows raised incredulously. She wasn't supposed to think of it as weird? That was the first word that popped into her mind when he said it! Once again, seeing her reaction caused Alec to quickly explain further. "She wanted to know if it would be alright for her to go with him to the fall dance next Friday. You always seemed to be really protective of him, and she thought it'd be better to ask you first." He cautiously took a step towards Effy, and this time, she didn't back away. Her eyes were still suspicious though._

_"Why are **you** asking me, then?" Effy challenged, her eyes drilling into Alec's. As intimidating as her eyes were, he didn't look away. Instead, he took another step towards her._

_"Because," Alec breathed, faltering before the answer could leave his lips. He was now directly in front of Effy. There was space between them, but she could still just barely feel the warmth of his breath on her nose. Her eyes darted to the windows of the café, and she saw Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan watching curiously. The moment she showed a sign of struggle, they were going to run out for her. "I wanted to ask if **you** would be **my** date." Effy's breath caught in her throat. Alec surveyed her, wondering what she was going to do._

_Granted, Effy hated things like dances. The boys were right about what they said, and she admitted it to herself now, but she couldn't bring herself to say no. As antisocial as she was, she was human. Alec was charming, and attractive. The practical side of Effy's mind told her that the two didn't have one class together, hardly saw each other, and more importantly, hardly knew each other! However, she couldn't help but object to those thoughts and consider that they **could** know each other. Tough as her friends helped her become, and guarded as she was, she was still a **girl**. There were always the silly thoughts in the farthest, deep, dark chambers of her mind that one day, she could have a fate that matched a princess in a story book. She could have one life changing moment where a glorious boy showered her with affection, and by some miracle, she could live happily ever after._

_"Effy?" Alec snapped her out of her thoughts, still awaiting an answer. He seemed doubtful now, as if certain she was going to reject him._

_"I- I would love to." she answered, smiling in amazement. Alec's expression brightened._

_"Cool!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling. He turned to head back into the café, knowing his friends were waiting for him. "We can meet here next Friday at, say, eight?" Effy nodded, and Alec gave her a parting wave. She hesitantly waved back, watching him enter the café. Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos passed him as he headed towards his friends, and once they were outside, they surrounded Effy._

_"What was that about?" Kendall asked, his expression a mixture of wonder and surprise. Effy began walking down the street, and the boys followed._

_"He seemed pretty stoked. What'd he say to you?" James questioned, moving in front of Effy. He walked backwards casually, knowing the sidewalk by heart. He dodged the pole that came up, light on his feet as he spun around it, nearly dancing down the street. The boys laughed at him, and still they waited for the answers to their questions._

_"Alec wanted to know if… I would, um, go to the fall dance with him." Effy explained, a smile spreading across her face. Now she understood what it felt like to have butterflies in her stomach. Now she could relate to girls that became giggly and excited when a boy did something like this. She was seething with something she'd never felt before, and it made her chuckle. The boys looked at her, wondering what made her laugh, but she simply grinned and continued to walk. They glanced at each other, pausing when her answer registered with them. Then they roared with laughter._

_"You've got to be kidding! What did you say?" Carlos demanded, cackling. Effy frowned._

_"You did say no, right? You don't do dances! You don't do girly things! We just established that back at the café!" Logan shouted, falling against the wall of the building as he shook with laughter. Harmless as the boys were trying to be, Effy was offended. She couldn't take a break once? She couldn't be anyone other than Effy for one night? The sudden wave of hormones took hold of her, and she stomped her foot._

_"Hold on, you seriously just stomped your foot?" James observed, stopping mid-laugh. Effy's eyes narrowed, and she didn't answer. Kendall saw her stance, and quickly ceased laughing. Logan slowly calmed down next, and had to hit Carlos to make him see Effy wasn't amused by their comments. "You said **yes**?" Effy nodded, still standing rigidly with her fists clenched and her eyes narrow slits._

_"Whoa, no no no! You can't go to that dance with him! Alec Davis is a huge tool bag!" Kendall objected, shaking his head. Logan nodded in agreement. Effy's expression became skeptical, and she turned away. The boys ran to her though, standing in front of her._

_"Kendall's right. You know he was the one who used to throw me in the dumpster when we were in middle school, right?" Logan informed her. Effy remembered Logan having trouble with a bully, but she never knew it was Alec. She almost didn't believe him. Even if she did though, she wasn't going to change her mind. The boys were just being stupid!_

_"That was a long time ago, Logan. Maybe he's changed." Effy argued, scowling. "Why are you trying to ruin this for me? I really want to go!" Her sudden snapping at them startled the boys. She was so different, and they'd only been apart for five minutes!_

_"Eff, chill!" Carlos pleaded, reaching out for her shoulder. Effy pulled away though._

_"Just forget it guys. I'm going home." Effy stated flatly, pushing passed the boys. She walked away from them briskly, ignoring their calls to her. Knowing Effy, they understood the tones she used, and this particular one told them to back off. However, they couldn't grasp why she was so moody. They knew about girl things - which they really didn't want to associate with Effy - but it seemed plausible that it was just her time of the month._

_As Effy walked home, her pace slowed. She knew better than the boys. It wasn't her period, or anything like that. It was the natural emotions of a raging teen. Having Alec ask her to a dance set off something in her mind, something that even she couldn't explain. She happened to really want this! Was that so wrong? Maybe it was. If it made her yell at her friends like that, what good was it? Of course, they **did** start everything. If they hadn't teased so much, playful and friendly as it was, she wouldn't be so upset. Then again, she had never taken badly to their banter. So why now did she act fine with them one minute, and bite their heads off the next? Shaking the thoughts from her head, Effy decided to let the matter drop. It was too confusing, and not worth her time. She would apologize to the boys and talk to them again once **they **apologized**.**_


	8. Chapter 9: Lying Is The Most Fun

**Author's Note: There were a lot of song titles (well, three) I contemplated to be the title of this chapter. I decided since I used a lyric or two from **_**Strawberry Gashes**_** and **_**Machine Gun**_**, I'd go with the title you see.**

**As for shout outs: I just read the latest chapter of Past the Sorrow by **_**waterwicca**_**. I swear on all that is sacred, if you don't read it, you're a huge poon. It's possibly the greatest story I've read. Or, well, you know, one of the greatest top three.**

**My other recommendation is Skins: BTR by **_**xxTheStoryofUsxx**_**. It's like a legitimate episode of Skins, and the BTR characters are ace in it. The story is a great read, so please, check it out.**

**Check both stories out, or you know, you're lame.**

* * *

Chapter 9: Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

"Arabesque, then attitude. Step forward on the right, and assemble! Bend back, around, then plie…"

The bed that had taken up a fairly large portion of the bedroom was moved with good reason. With the bed out of the way, there was more space to dance. Huffing and puffing echoed in the ears of the dancer as she caught her breath. Music continued to play, even though she had stopped. She had lost her count. Closing her eyes, Effy Valmont listened to the song, picking up the count again.

_**A candle is lit, I see through her…**_

"Rise and fall! Ronde de Jambe, now fondu and chasse… Freestyle!" Effy gasped, leaping across the room and twirling. She landed on her left foot, having no room for her right. "Oh!" Falling, Effy hit the carpeted ground. She lay there for a while, closing her eyes and regulating her breathing. Though dancing was a passion of hers, she knew she was only average. Her brother, Oliver, continually told her otherwise, as did Dexter. Effy simply chose not to believe them. Sighing, she pushed herself up. She shed from her leotard, tossing it into the basket of other used uniforms. She would have to wash clothes later. Oliver was running low on outfits, as was she and Dexter. Gathering her clothes for work, Effy walked into the bathroom, starting the shower.

Cold water was what Effy preferred. It woke her up, and she needed to stay awake for work. Lathering and rinsing her body, she bathed quickly. She dried herself, slipping into her clothes. Her reflection stared back at her, threatening the break her. Grudgingly, she found her makeup, applying it the way her mother had taught. After fifteen minutes, her face was a light tan, her lips were as red as her hair, and her eyes were surrounded by dark and light purple eye shadow. Effy stared at her reflection for another moment, turning away disgustedly. She shook her head, leaving the bathroom. Her grey trench coat rested on the bed, and she picked it up, covering herself. Staring out of her window, she saw the sun was setting. She had a good half an hour before she needed to be at work.

"Effy! Effy, I want to show you something, Effy!" Oliver called, hearing his sister leaving her room. Effy closed her bedroom door behind her, walking towards Oliver's room. She smiled when she saw all the photographs he had hung up on his walls. Only a few were of their mother, and the rest were of him, her, and Dexter. For a little under half a year, Oliver had taken interest in cameras. Dexter had given him professional photography equipment, and a computer that had a master photoshop feature just a month ago. Though Effy had to question where it came from, she didn't, at the risk of upsetting either boy. "Come here, look Effy!"

Oliver seemed fairly eager to show her whatever he had on his computer, and Effy smiled at seeing his happiness. It wasn't rare to see him excited, but it was rare for her to slow down everything that went on to really appreciate it. Looking at what Oliver was pointing to, Effy observed the picture on the screen. It was of her, and her skin and hair was brighter. He had edited it. She smiled brighter at him, and Oliver changed the picture. This one was of him and Dexter. He was laughing and holding a fish in one hand, and the camera in the other, while Dexter stared blankly in the distance. Again, Oliver changed the picture. It was another of Effy. Everything was in black and white except for her eyes.

"Those are marvelous, Olli." Effy praised him, ruffling his hair. Oliver grinned, exiting out of the photos. He pulled up a video, but Effy saw the time on her watch and knew that the bus would be coming in just a few minutes. "I can't watch that now, sweetie. I promise I'll watch it when I have a spare moment, okay? I've gotta go to work." She left the room, followed by a disappointed Oliver. He pouted all the way to the door, knowing what to do when she left. It had become routine in just a couple days.

"Bye bye, Effy." Oliver mumbled. Effy paused, cupping his face in her hand. She stood up on the tips of her toes, kissing his forehead.

"I'll be home when you wake up, okay? If you get hungry, there's leftover pizza in the fridge. Heat it up for thirty seconds, and no more, alright?" Effy commanded, squeezing his hand. Oliver nodded. "Lock the door behind me." Again, her brother nodded, and when she closed the door, she could hear the lock clicking into place. She smiled and turned away, taking the stairs to the first floor. Effy pulled up her collar, concealing her face as she walked through the lobby. No one she knew was there, but she didn't fix her collar until she was at the bus stop. Her heels clinked loudly against the pavement as she walked, and Effy tightened the belt around her coat. She peered around, having the eeriest feeling that something was going to happen. Taking a deep breath, she waited for her bus, grateful when it finally arrived. Pulling her sunglasses from her pocket, she put them on while waiting for the passengers of the bus to finish exiting. One of them looked at her, and she felt her heart stop. It was Carlos. Carlos Garcia.

"Excuse me!" he gasped, moving passed her. Effy was petrified for a moment, swallowing once the last passenger had departed from the bus and climbing on. She took her place at the front seat, staring out of the window. Carlos was running towards the Palm Woods, a plastic bag in his hand. Her heart had skipped a beat when they made eye contact, but she reminded herself that she was well concealed. Carlos wasn't one to analyze people, so it was more than likely he hadn't taken too good of a look at her. Effy finally let out a breath of relief when the bus began moving, leaving behind the Palm Woods.

Meanwhile, Carlos sprinted to apartment 2J. The bag he carried held fake ID's. James, not knowing enough Spanish, had sent Carlos with the money to pick up the requested ID's. Though he didn't understand the seriousness of what he was doing, Carlos pulled it off perfectly. He entered their room, opening the bag and dumping the contents onto the bed. Logan, Kendall, and James surrounded him, frowning when they saw the dozens of bags of Fruit Smackers. James hit the back of Carlos's head, scowling.

"You were _supposed_ to get our ID's!" James scolded, shaking his head.

"I did!" Carlos protested, moving around the candy. "I had extra money, so I spent it on Fruit Smackers, for _all_ of us! You're welcome!" He picked up a bag of the candy, throwing it at James. Opening one for himself, Carlos popped some of the candies into his mouth. Kendall and Logan picked up the ID's and eyed them.

"Impressive. This looks legit." Logan commended James, grinning. Though the reason behind the need for ID's was sour, the brunette couldn't deny that he was relieved to know Effy was alive. They were all relieved, in fact. Kendall tucked his ID into his wallet, smirking.

"We're all twenty-one!" he exclaimed, throwing a knowing glance at James. Logan shook his head though.

"This doesn't mean we can buy alcohol, guys." he reminded them. James and Kendall rolled their eyes. Carlos finished his bag of Fruit Smackers, and proceeded to the next. "So when are we leaving?" Logan held on to his ID, glancing at it every few seconds.

"Mom and Katie are leaving for their movie at eight-thirty, so we'll go once we see Mom's car leave the parking lot." Kendall told him again. Logan had asked five separate times in the hour, and though Kendall understood where his friend was coming from, that didn't mean it wasn't getting on his nerves. Carlos tossed his third empty bag of Fruit Smackers into the wastebasket, opening a fourth.

"So what do we do until then?" James wondered aloud, swiping up his ID and grinning at his photo. Had the other boys not been around, he probably would've kissed it.

"Dudes," Carlos said through a mouthful of candy. He swallowed the sugary treats, pointing to the TV. "We still haven't played that new Twisted Metal game!" He hopped up eagerly, and Kendall raced him to the TV, hooking up their PS3 and searching for the game disk. James was equally as pumped for the game, but Logan remained standing by the bed. He looked over his ID, searching for any flaw - at least that's what it looked like to his friends. As Logan sat on the bed, he pondered what he would say to Effy when he saw her. His first instinct was to scold her for her choice in working at a strip club, but all things considered, he couldn't see himself doing it.

Logan had missed Effy. His friendship with Kendall, James, and Carlos began when he was four and just starting out in peewee hockey. Their bond had a years more worth of strength than his friendship with Effy, but she somehow still meant something extra. She trusted him first, and in a way, he almost trusted her more than the boys. There was a bizarre type of understanding between them, an understanding that made them comfortable around each other regardless of the circumstance. Effy had turned into a person Logan wanted to see every day. He thought about her whenever everything else on his mind was gone, and sometimes she would even slip into his cluttered thoughts. Deep in his mind, he knew from the moment he saw her, she was someone he had to have in his life. From there, she had become one of the greatest friends he had. She accepted every vice and virtue about him without question, and she never asked for anything more. Her friendship and loyalty was unconditional.

The smile that crept onto Logan's face quickly faded into a frown. If Effy had been so important to him, how could he have just left her behind? If she had been such an amazing person, how was he capable of leaving her when she needed him most? Feeling the guilt form a knot in his stomach, Logan clenched his fists. James, surprisingly enough, had been the most understanding about the guilt, and before he had gotten over it, he was the one Logan could lean on for support. Now, it seemed no one could see where he was coming from. Kendall and Carlos weren't there when the skating accident that triggered everything happened. It wasn't_their_ fault, and even if James shared the blame for that, he still had never completely understood why Logan tormented himself over leaving Effy.

Thinking back to when Griffin had cancelled their concert, Logan remembered the first thought he had upon arriving back in Minnesota. He had ran to see Effy, but her house was empty. No one had gone near it for three months. He didn't have the courage to ask what had happened. He was afraid of the answer. She had been so sick when they left. Not wanting to be told the worst, Logan pushed the thoughts out of his mind. When the boys brought it up, he gave the simple answer that her house was empty, and they knew from his tone that there was no point in asking anything more. It wasn't like him to let his friends avoid serious matters, and though his friends did the same for him, this was one subject none of them could touch. There was too much wrong they had done by Effy, and it was simply because they'd left her. None of them could handle it. At least not at the time. It was a lame excuse, but it was the truth, and it was all they had.

"Logan? Dude, hello?" James snapped his fingers in front of Logan's face, snapping him out of his trance. Kendall and Carlos were shutting off the game system and TV. James had his comb, and was brushing through his hair. "It's time to go!" Logan blinked, realizing he'd gotten lost in his thoughts and memories. He stood up, and searched his pockets for the keys to the Big Time Rush car. Tossing them in the air and catching them in one hand, he left the apartment with the boys.

"So, what prompted you to go to this strip club with Alan and Guitar Dude? They just… openly invited you?" Kendall questioned as the boys piled into the car. Carlos snickered, and James's cheeks tinted a darker shade of pink.

"Pretty much. I happened to hear 'tons of girls', and it sounded interesting." James excused himself lamely, avoiding looking at his friends. Logan's mood was still in the process of being decided on. He wanted to see Effy, which made him excited. He didn't want her to react badly to seeing him, thus making him guilty, which also made him nervous. Then there was the general sadness of missing her, and the happiness of knowing she was going to be back in his life. With that, there was the curiosity of why she was with Dexter, why she was in L.A, and why she was working in a strip club. Shaking his head, Logan focused on driving. He'd barely gotten his full-fledged license, and he wasn't about to lose it.

Kendall, James, and Carlos laughed and chatted about random things on their way to the address Dexter had provided them. The mood with them seemed happy, but as they neared 612 Wharf Avenue, the mood gradually darkened. Effy was just as much their friend as she was Logan's. They had _all_ befriended her that first day of Kindergarten, and they had all left her behind. Kendall's relationship with her meant as much to him as his relationships with the boys. Effy was another sister to him. He loved her just as much as he loved Katie, and when they had lived in Sherwood, he treated her just as royally as he would treat Katie. Carlos thought of her as one of his best friends. She was right up there with Kendall, James, and Logan, and he had always known he would do anything for her. When he was too embarrassed to admit his crushes or lack of confidence to the boys, he went to Effy. Since she didn't feel like her advice was the best, she'd provide him a chocolate bar, or something of the like. What mattered was that she knew how to help him feel better. With James, there had always been the small attraction. He knew Effy was cute, and though he held more respect for her than he did with a majority of girls, he couldn't deny that he had the idea of sleeping with her on his mind. She wouldn't just be another girl on his list though; she would have a special place somewhere with him. Though he wasn't romantically interested in her, he cared about her more than any other girl he knew. Effy was one of the few girls he would risk his lucky comb, shirt, or even his handsome face for.

"612 Wharf Avenue…" Logan announced, pulling into the parking lot beside a fairly large building. The front door had looked unwelcoming, but upon parking, the boys saw two guards standing in front of what was clearly the real entrance of the club. James already knew that, but the rest of the boys were barely figuring this out. All of them looked at each other, none of them knowing what to say. They were at a strip club to find their friend. It was just… wrong! "Well, no use sitting around…" Logan pocketed the car keys, stepping out of the car. Kendall hopped out next, then James, then Carlos. As they approached the building, the guards eyed them suspiciously. This wasn't the first time the boys had sneaked into something. They knew they had to keep calm.

"ID, please." the first guard said, eyeing Logan and Carlos. The second guard nudged the first, pointing at James. "Oh, hey. I remember you. How's your guitar friend? Not still smoking, is he?" The first guard chuckled and shook his head, opening the door so James could go in.

"He's fine, I haven't talked to him lately though." James replied coolly.

"Are these guys with you?" the second guard asked, his eyebrow raised. James nodded.

"Yeah, I thought we'd have a guys night out. You know, just chillin'." he answered. The guards eyed Kendall, Carlos, and Logan again, then stepped aside, letting them in. Once the boys were a safe distance inside, they laughed.

"They remember you? Either you've been here more times than you said, or they've got a hella good memory!" Kendall teased, laughing.

"Hey, it's not like anyone could forget the face!" James replied, doing his signature face and hand moves. Kendall continued laughing, shaking his head as the boys walked further into the club. Carlos had already found an empty booth for them, and the boys all sat beside him, scanning the dark room for Effy. No luck. "She's not one of the girls over there." James pointed to the line of girls that were giving lap dances to the men in the chairs. He watched one of the women, shifting in his seat.

"She's not a waitress." Kendall announced, having been looking at all of the women serving tables. Carlos flagged over one of the waitresses, a small menu in his hands. A slender, blonde young woman made her way to their table, dressed in nothing but heels, underwear, and a bandana turned into a shirt. His eyes widened, but for Carlos, food came first. He turned his attention back to the menu then cleared his throat.

"Can I get us all some burgers?" he requested, grinning from ear to ear. The waitress smiled at him and pranced off, handing his order to the bartender, who then passed it on to the chef in the kitchen. James, Kendall, and Logan stared at him incredulously.

"We're not here to eat!" Kendall shouted, hitting the back of Carlos's head. "None of us are hungry anyway!" Carlos shrugged, rubbing the back of his head.

"Fine, I'll eat it then." he stated nonchalantly, pushing away the menu.

"Guys… It's eight-fifty. Effy's supposed to have a break in ten minutes." Logan informed them, still looking at his watch. Before any of the boys could respond, the already dim lights darkened even more. A sudden burst of blue and purple light momentarily blinded the boys, and they looked to see what was going on. A man stood on the stage, holding a microphone.

"And now everyone, please welcome our newest girl, Candy!" he declared, stepping down from the stage. A song began to play, startling the boys with it's heavy drums. They looked onto the stage, and saw a figure stepping out. She wore a white hat, dress, fur coat, and boots. All of it was moderately see-through, and with the lights, they could faintly see the black lingerie underneath it all. The waitress came back with the food, setting it down as the boys watched the dancer.

"Guys?" Kendall asked, still looking at the girl as she shed from her coat, and slid down to the ground to playfully kick off her boots. Men were tossing money onto the stage, whistling as they did so. None of the boys could tear their eyes away from the sight. "If Effy wasn't a waitress, and she wasn't one of those strippers…" They all knew where his observation was going. It was confirmed once the dancer took of her hat and whipped back her candy apple red hair. As wrong as it was, they couldn't look away.

_**If only I could see, return myself to me**_

_**And recognize the poison in my heart**_

Effy crawled forward on the stage, sliding her legs to face the crowd as she spread them, pushing her dress down teasingly to keep herself covered. She gracefully maneuvered herself up, unbuttoning the first strap of her dress. The bottom part slid off, revealing a shorter dress underneath. She pulled it up mischievously, swinging her legs around the pole in the center of the stage. Craftily unzipping the back of her dress as she slithered down the pole, the last of the clothing fell off of her. Men howled and cheered, throwing more money.

Logan gulped, feeling his fists clench. None of those men should've been looking at Effy. She was only seventeen! His anger boiled, and he was annoyed further by the fact that he couldn't bring himself to move. He was angry that all of them were ogling her as if she weren't the best friend they'd left behind… as if she were just another girl. Kendall noticed Logan tensing up, and nudged Carlos, who had taken to eating while watching Effy. They would have to hold him back if he decided to do anything. They couldn't risk getting in trouble, and they definitely couldn't have the police getting involved. James saw the two boys motioning at Logan, and he nodded to let them know he understood. However, he was rather distracted by Effy. He'd only seen her in such an attractive light twice, this being the second time. As with the first time, he felt the blood rushing to a particular appendage, and he had to think of anything that could calm him down.

Eventually, the song ended, much to the boys' relief. Carlos had eaten two of the burgers, paying more attention to them than Effy. Even so, he was still concerned about what she had gotten herself into. James was still thinking of dead puppies and gory movies, and Kendall had to run his hands through his hair a few times before he could get what he'd just seen out of his head. Logan still seethed with anger, and though it was a foreign emotion to him, it felt like he'd known it all his life as he sat and watched strangers pay Effy to strip. She collected her money, and disappeared from the stage. It was nine o'clock.

Logan stood up, and not sure of what he would do, the boys stood up as well. Carlos left behind money for the food, and he stepped out of the booth after James. Kendall was beside Logan, ready to hold him back if he did anything rash. For the first time, the boys were the ones who were keeping their heads straight. For the first time, _they_ were looking out for Logan. He watched the doors beside the stage, knowing Effy had to come out of them soon. All of them stood, anxiously waiting. After a good five minutes, the doors opened, and Effy emerged. She was now wearing a black makeshift shirt out of a bandana (just as their waitress had been wearing), and a black skirt that failed to cover a small portion of her underwear, which connected to her black stockings and garter belt. Casually, she strolled across the room, waving at some of the men who catcalled at her. She sat in an empty booth, pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her bra.

"Effy!" Logan called, swiftly advancing toward her. Seeing her lighting the cigarette and taking a drag was just too much. She didn't seem to hear him though, and she continued to smoke. As the boys neared her, they saw the cigarette wasn't even a cigarette. Logan wasn't sure if it relieved him (at least a little) or frustrated him more. Effy was smoking a joint. "Effy!" This time, he got Effy's attention. Her eyes widened when she saw them, and her mouth fell open.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Effy demanded, forgetting her joint. Carlos, suddenly overwhelmed at seeing her, embraced her, pulling her close. She dropped the smoke, surprised by his action. Her skin was cold in contrast to his warm hands, but he didn't think about it. All he cared about was seeing his friend again. Once he pulled away though, he could see she was anything but pleased to see them. "Why did you guys come here? Wh-who told you I…" Her voice trailed off when she saw Logan's expression.

"What are _you_ doing here, Effy? You're seventeen-years-old!" he scolded her, causing her to laugh mockingly.

"And you're twenty-one? Who the hell told you I worked here?" Effy demanded, picking the joint back up. The flame had been wasted, and there was no use trying to smoke it now. Swearing, she tucked it back into her cigarette box. "I didn't want you here. I still don't! You need to leave." She stood up, but the boys surrounded her.

"Dexter told us you'd be here." Kendall stated. Effy froze, her eyes widening with fear.

"What are you doing with him?" James questioned, thinking back to how rude Dexter had been to everyone. "We thought he kidnapped you and Oliver! Did he? Effy, you can tell us." His words came out rushed, but Effy understood him. Her eyes moved to each of the boys, seeing that they all wanted to know. She scowled, folding her arms over her chest.

"What makes you think you have any right to know?" Effy sneered, her eyes narrowing. Once again, the enticing, blue-gray orbs forced the boys to look away. "Don't start worrying about me now. I'm _fine_. And don't give me that shit about you only being concerned because you're my friends. You weren't my friends when you left without a word, were you? … You aren't now." Her frown twitched upward, almost forming a satisfied grin when she saw the boys wince. She was attacking them with words she knew to be true, and though she knew they would expect more, she wasn't about to lose her mind at work. The boys weren't worth it now. Pushing passed them, Effy left to sit on one of the stools around the bar. James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were quiet as they watched her, but she refused to turn around.

"Fuck her, then!" James shouted angrily, storming towards the exit. Carlos grabbed his arm, pulling him back, but James jerked himself away. When the lights flashed again, Logan and Kendall saw James's eyes brimming with tears that threatened to fall. "She's not gonna listen to us. Don't you get it?" Logan immediately felt his own frustration evaporate, and he reached out, placing his hand on his friends' shoulder.

"She's just mad. We're _all_ just mad." Kendall stated, looking at his friends knowingly. Logan stared down at his feet, and James swallowed his pride and wiped his eyes. "Listen, coming here was a bad idea. We didn't do it to yell at Effy, and we definitely don't have the right. If anything, we deserved to be chewed out. We're just gonna have to talk to her at the Palm Woods. Camille was right! No progress is ever going to be made until we approach things calmly." Carlos nodded slightly, knowing Kendall was right. James and Logan, however, we more hesitant. James looked to Effy, seeing her drinking a red liquid from a small glass.

"That's not Effy, though! She's changed…" he argued, guilt panging him. Kendall and Carlos avoided letting their gaze drift to her.

"It's our fault, isn't it?" Carlos asked, shame in his voice.

"You know what, let's just get out of here. We'll talk to Eff at the Palm Woods, okay? We can wait for her." Kendall suggested, swinging his arms around Carlos and James. He walked with them towards the exit, but paused when he noticed Logan wasn't with them. Turning, the boys saw their friend still watching Effy. "Logan, come on. We've gotta go home."

"No. You drive them home, Kendall. I'm staying." Logan insisted stubbornly, not even bothering to look at his friends. They stole glances at each other, knowing this couldn't have been good. Logan peered over at them, his expression unreadable. "I'm gonna talk to her. She's _going_ to talk. Just go." His voice was firm, stern. He sounded like he was one hundred percent sure his plan (whatever it was) would work. Kendall, James, and Carlos still didn't move. They stood there in a game of chicken; who would break first? Who would give in to who? A few tense minutes passed, and Carlos was the first to look to the door. James was second. Logan continued to watch Effy, and after another minute, Kendall sighed.

"Fine. Text me when you finally quit." he said, rolling his eyes as he left with James and Carlos. Logan heard the door close behind them, and he looked at his watch. Effy's break couldn't have been anymore than fifteen minutes. He slowly stepped towards the bar, taking a seat two away from Effy. She saw him in her peripheral vision, and tensed when he sat down. Her grip on the glass of wine tightened, and her body became rigid. Logan wasn't looking at her anymore though. Effy stole a quick peak at the clock on the wall, relieved she only had a minute more before she had to start working again. She stood, smoothing out her clothes and taking a step away from the bar. Before she could get another step further, she felt a hand grab her wrist. Instinctively, she pulled it away.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Logan stated, his hand falling back to his side. Effy glared at him, having nothing to say. "You're working now, aren't you?" He pulled out his wallet, holding up five dollars. Effy's mouth fell open, and she stared at her old friend with disgust.

"You're fucking joking!" she cried, stepping away. Logan shook his head, shrugging as he walked passed her.

"I don't want you to strip. I want you to talk to me." he explained, holding out the money. Effy scoffed, walking only a foot away from him before he spoke again. "The way I see it, I can let everyone know your real age, and cost you your job… Or you can work with me, here." Effy's eyes widened, and she growled, turning on him. Her eyes were full of rage, the type of rage Logan had never seen in her before.

"How dare you threaten me? If you turn me in, I can turn you and your back-from-the-dead friends in just as easily. I'm working, Logan. That means I'm supposed to be dancing. I can't just sit around and talk. You want to talk to a girl? Go pay a prostitute! They can sit around and talk." Effy snarled, her eyes once again making Logan flinch. He wasn't going to let her get away though. He quickly moved to be in front of her, holding up his hands.

"I could always tell your boss that you aren't giving me my moneys' worth. I could tell him you're purposely ignoring me, which I'm sure you're not supposed to do. Your personal life can't interfere with work. Even with_this_type of job." Logan pointed out, a small grin forming on his face. "That'll get you fired, and if you turn us in for our real age, I'll turn you in right back. Two to one. Who'll have more trouble?" Effy's eyes narrowed to slits, and her fists clenched when she saw his logic. There was no way out of it. He was winning. She'd never been able to outsmart him when they lived in Sherwood, and she still couldn't.

"I still have to dance. I know you don't want that." Effy objected, using whatever she could to get Logan away from her. His face scrunched for a small second, but long enough for Effy to see his reluctance. It was awkward for her to think about, but even moreso for Logan. He had Camille on his mind throughout the time they'd spent in the club.

"Fine." Logan breathed, trounced. He held out the money, waiting for Effy to take it. Her eyes were wide again, horrified. She couldn't believe he'd given in so easily. She expected him to back down instead of call her bluff. The Logan she had known would have shied away from such an awkward situation. This wasn't the Logan she knew in Sherwood though. Shaking her head and muttering swears, Effy took Logan's hand and led him to one of the empty sections of the club. He sat in the chair, while Effy climbed onto the ledge. The mirrors around her showed off every angle, leaving nothing to the imagination. Logan gulped, trying to avoid staring at anything too long.

"You've changed." Effy suddenly stated, her body against one of the mirrors. "You're not the basket case I knew in Sherwood, I mean. You look sharp. Good." Logan half-smiled, blushing sheepishly. No one had pointed out how he had, indeed, changed. He knew very well he had grown as a person upon arriving in L.A.

"Thanks." he mumbled, timidly pushing another dollar towards her. He only had so much money with him, and he wanted to get as much time to talk to Effy as possible. If he played his cards right, he would be able to make her willing to talk to him again. "You've changed too. I know for a fact you never drank or smoked in Minnesota." Effy paused for a moment, closing her eyes when she resumed dancing. She had her hands on either mirror beside her, and moved her hips from side to side as she lowered herself.

"No, I didn't. I hardly do it now… You just caught me on a bad day. This is probably my third smoke and glass of wine ever. That's all I do. Smoking _that_ and wine… Like my- err, well, never mind." Effy admitted, shrugging. She looked at Logan, seeing him push another five dollars toward her. She thought about the questions he and the boys had drilled her with, and sighed. "So Dexter sent you here?" Logan nodded, taking a deep breath. "He's not as bad as you think. He helped me more than you did. At least he didn't forget about me."

"Hold on, let's not make this more tense than it has to be, Eff. We tried calling you. I looked for you when we went back to Sherwood. What stopped you from calling us?" Logan demanded immediately, not allowing her to use his guilt as a tool. She snaked her body in front of him, bending down as she made eye contact with him.

"Would you call someone who disappeared on you?" Effy questioned, her voice cold. Logan sighed, slumping his shoulders. He shook his head, knowing she was right. Seeing that he was defeated, Effy continued. "Sometimes Dexter's rough with Oliver, I'll admit that. He doesn't hurt him though. Not the way you're thinking. Oliver loves him. He's a role model to Olli… We met him in New York, and he started taking care of us from there." Logan listened to her, seeing her close her eyes at certain parts of her explanation. She was telling him the truth - he knew that much. When she lied, she scratched behind her ear. It was something she couldn't control, so she never figured out how the boys could always tell when she lied. The fact that she closed her eyes told Logan something, but he didn't know what. Was she feeding him only half of the story? He couldn't ask. At that moment, his phone vibrated. Pulling it out of his pocket, his heart sank when he read the message.

"Oh, crap!" Logan shouted, leaping out of the chair. Effy paused, her expression confused. He looked back to her, his eyes seeming desperate. "I'm sorry, Effy. I have to go." He left another five dollar bill beside her, fleeing the club. The text still burned in his mind.

_**Carlos let it slip to Camille where you were. You might want to get out of the club. NOW.**_


	9. Chapter 13: Moon

Chapter 13: Moon

"I say he could use a date for tonight. Don't you think?" Camille suggested, shrugging. Logan sipped at his soda, his eyes moving in Dexter's direction. He sat in his normal chair, reading _1984_, as he had done for the past two days. Logan shrugged, setting his drink down. "You should invite him on a double date. You and Peggy, him and… Well, someone. Wait! No, even better! WE could find him someone. It'd be a nice gesture." Camille was overly animated about this idea, but Logan didn't say anything. She had told him what she learned about Dexter just a couple days after hanging out with him, once the tension between her, James, and Logan had fizzled out. It was interesting, but while it revealed some of Dexter's personality, it also confused Logan further. What was he supposed to make of all that?

"One problem. Most of the girls here know how he treated the Jennifers. I think they'd be scared." Logan objected matter-of-factly. He took another gulp from his soda, licking his lips.

"I still think it'd be nice to offer." Camille stated, folding her arms on the table. Logan sighed, once again looking up at Dexter. He hadn't tried talking to him since their last encounter, and he didn't think he'd ever try again after learning of the fight between James and Effy. To be honest, he didn't know what he was going to do.

Logan didn't really think he wanted to go forever without talking to Effy. However, he didn't know how to go about speaking with her now. There was so much tension that seemed to rise over nothing. He hadn't even seen her for the past few days! He knew she worked late, and he figured she'd spend her time catching up on sleep, and hopefully eating, but he could never be sure. Asking Dexter about Effy didn't feel like the best idea, but he was running out of options. Rather, he'd run out of options when James yelled at her. None of them had seen her since their earlier talk in their bedroom, so no apology was ever presented.

"Okay, fine. Let's ask." Logan agreed. Camille clapped, leaping out of her seat. The pair made their way around the pool, stopping in front of Dexter. His headphones were covering his ears, and they could hear the music from where they stood. "Pink Floyd?" Logan's eyes landed on the CD case beside Dexter, recognizing the cover. He wasn't surprised Dexter liked classic rock, but figured he seemed like the strictly dark, heavy metal type. Their shadows had blocked Dexter's sunlight, and though he noticed when they stopped before him, he didn't look up. Camille had to reach over and tap his shoulder before he paid them any attention.

"What?" Dexter demanded, pulling his headphones off. His ears rang for a few seconds, but soon everything sounded normal. Camille and Logan glanced at each other, clearly forgetting that they'd never decided who would say what, or what they would even say. "Well, come on! I haven't got all day." Quickly, Logan cleared his throat.

"We thought - since everyone else is going - we'd set you up on a date for Kiss and Tell, tonight." he offered, giving Dexter a sincere smile. Dexter, in contrast, did not host a smile. In fact, his lips curved downwards, and his eyebrow rose.

"I assumed I had made myself clear when I rejected those three twats. I'm not interested." Dexter replied dully, looking back at his book. He licked his finger, turning the page smoothly. Camille bit her lip, trying to think of a way to present their offer in a more appealing way.

"You know, there's a lot of really lovely girls here that would be crazy excited to go out with you." she revealed, rocking back and forth on her heels. When Dexter didn't respond, she nudged Logan. He gave her the look that said he didn't have a clue what to do, but she responded with a look he knew to mean that he'd better figure something out. Racking his brains for anything, words suddenly spilled from his mouth without any thought behind them.

"Maybe you'd just like to hang with me and the guys later?" Logan suggested. He was never good under pressure, and this was a prime example. Not only would the boys most likely hate having Dexter over, but they would never let Logan live it down for inviting him. Dexter's eyes slowly gazed up, landing on Camille, then moving to Logan. He wasn't amused. His expression was blank. Even as kids around them dove into the pool, and flecks of water hit him, he made no motion. He was stone.

"I told you I'm not interested, and furthermore," Dexter began, closing his book and setting it on his lap. "Why would I want to hang out with you and _the boys_ while you sit around French kissing and playing soggy biscuit?" His harsh words were laced with malice, not matching his calm face whatsoever. Camille's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe she'd been so allured by his accent and charm! They were trying to be nice and offer him a chance at being social, and all he could do was be rude? He wasn't at all what he'd seemed to be! Dexter gathered his things, standing up and walking between them.

"Hold on!" Logan shouted, turning. He faced Dexter, staring at him, confused. "Why wouldn't you want to go ou-"

"I have a fucking girlfriend!" Dexter announced, annoyed to the point of anger. Logan and Camille's eyes widened. They exchanged glances, then looked back at Dexter.

"Why didn't you just say that in the beginning?" Logan questioned, still confused.

"Jesus wept! Can I not have a little private information that you don't need to pry into?" Dexter demanded bitterly. Camille could see his temper was rising, and she regretted ever suggesting that they talk to him. Logan wasn't going to back down at this point, though.

"Well, hang on, we're all friends here-" Logan was cut off by Dexter's wild laugh. He threw back his head and howled out his laughter, his eyes almost crazed when he looked back at Logan and Camille.

"Friends? Is that a fucking joke? What gave you the idea we were friends?" Dexter challenged, crossing his arms. He stared at Logan, awaiting his answer for only half a second before continuing with his point. "Was it when I punched your mate in the face? Was it when I threw your books in the pool?" Earning nothing but silence from Logan, Dexter rolled his eyes and turned to leave. He was only a few steps away before he was stopped yet again.

"What's your girlfriends' name?"

Dexter froze, tensing up. None of the boys knew when to quit! What made them think that interacting with him was a good idea? What made _anyone_ think it was a good idea? Had he really not been rude enough? Growling, but not bothering to face Logan again, he decided to answer.

"You know her, mate. It's Effy." he stated simply. Without another word, or waiting for a reply, Dexter walked off. He disappeared into the lobby, and Logan stood, shocked. How he hadn't put two and two together, he didn't know. It seemed like a given that the two were a couple, now that he thought about it. Dexter had meant it when he said he wanted his privacy. He managed to keep secrets well enough, and use his words creatively, as to not be found out for anything. Camille watched Logan, seeing him contemplating what he'd just been told. A sudden realization hit her, and she stepped back, disbelieving.

"Oh, my God. You like Effy." she breathed, loud enough for Logan to hear. He snapped out of his thoughts, and looked at her, waving his hands and shaking his head. Camille wasn't buying it. She could see it in his actions. It was so obvious now, just as Dexter and Effy's relationship was for him!

"No, Camille, I don't. I like you!" Logan blurted out. Though, he caught himself upon seeing her reaction and shook his head again. "I mean, Eff- Peggy! I mean, oh, forget it! I don't know what I mean!" He threw his hands in the air, groaning. A grin broke out across Camille's face. She wasn't hurt by the realization, but rather, in a state of shock. Perhaps she'd be hurt later, but they weren't together anymore anyway. Giving up on trying to explain himself, Logan sighed and turned towards the lobby. Camille reached out, placing her hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away. Before she could say or do anything to stop him, he jogged off, fleeing to the sanctuary of apartment 2J.

When Logan entered the apartment, Katie pulled him in front of her, using him as a shield it seemed. She inched towards the door, dashing off when she was in the hall. Logan's eyebrow raised, and before he could ask, James ran passed him. The door closed behind them, and Logan decided not to be concerned with it. He had his own date to worry about, and there was already so much on his mind. Tuning out of his thoughts and back into reality, he saw Jo and Kendall arguing about something, with Carlos between them. Remembering the situation of Carlos' single status, he maneuvered passed the arguing couple, wanting to avoid that bullet at all costs. He slithered into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. His hair was perfectly fine; try as he might, the unkempt look typically remained unkempt. Even so, he ran his fingers through it, seeing if it would make a difference.

It didn't.

With a heavy sigh, Logan brushed his teeth, then left the bathroom. Kendall, Jo, and Carlos were gone, and he figured they already left for the movie. They had all made plans to take someone else's car, leaving the Big Time Rush car for him. He meandered down the hall, thoughts still floating around in his head. The idea of his date with Peggy hadn't had the chance to be pondered, and only when he reached the lobby did he think about that. Peggy was waiting, smiling and waving when she saw him. His heart fluttered, but it seemed dulled compared to what he remembered from the first time. Suddenly, she wasn't as interesting anymore. Shoving the thought from his mind, he focused on his date.

"Hey, you look really nice." Logan complimented. Peggy's cheeks flushed pink, and he smiled.

"Thanks. Well… Are you driving?" she asked, pushing her hair back. Logan nodded and took her hand, leading her out to the car. "This is really nice! My dad had a car like this once."

_My dad was a musician._

Logan froze, jerking his head around to locate where the voice had come from. Peggy noticed him stop, and she copied, wondering what was going on. No one was around, and Logan tried to clear his head. Why that memory of Effy came up, he didn't know. Camille's words were getting to him, and he was letting them! He took a deep breath, finally getting his head straight.

"Sorry, I thought I heard something." Logan explained, telling only half of the truth. Peggy nodded understandingly, and he opened the door for her, shutting it once she was inside the car. "So what brought you to L.A?" He was doing his best to keep his mind occupied with anything but thoughts that could've been linked to what Camille said, and making small talk was his only idea.

"I'm an actress. I managed to convince my mom to move us out here, and I've got my first few auditions tomorrow." Peggy answered, becoming more and more lively as she spoke. "I actually started doing plays and things like that back in Kansas when I was five. It's been a love of mine since…" Logan stopped paying attention. What she was saying reminded him of how Effy had the dreams of becoming a dancer. She'd always had it on her mind, even when they were little Kindergarteners.

Logan drove to the theater, not saying a word. He only looked ahead, his eyes distant. Peggy didn't seem to notice. She did most of the talking throughout the ride, believing Logan was just a really good listener. Once they parked at the cinema, she stepped out of the car, waiting for Logan and taking his hand when he was beside her. He thought back to his date at the ice cream shop with Camille, feeling the strangest sense of déjà vu. For the seventh time since meeting up with Peggy, Logan attempted to clear his mind. It hadn't worked the last several times, and he doubted it would work now.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to the ladies room." Peggy informed him, leaving him. He didn't refocus on her quick enough to respond, so instead went to the concession stand. His mind was clouded with everything but what currently mattered, and it was beginning to frustrate him. He'd have to talk to Camille later. What she said drove him crazy, even if he knew she was wrong. He had to clear everything up with her before he could clear his mind. Noticing that he'd been talking without paying any mind to what he said, he saw the cashier hand him the snacks. The portion sizes were wild, but Logan didn't have any comment for it. What could anyone say to it? Everything was industrial sized! Spotting Peggy coming back, he moved through the crowd to her.

"I got you a small popcorn, drink, and candy!" Logan gasped, handing her the snacks. Peggy's eyes widened, but she still smiled. His eyes were on her, until he noticed the blue in his peripheral vision. Gazing over towards it, he saw Camille. She sat alone, wearing the outfit she knew he loved. Peggy followed his gaze, her smile dampening slightly when she saw Camille.

"You still have feelings for your ex?" she asked quietly. Oddly enough, she didn't sound mad. Logan hesitated, staring at her guiltily. Peggy shook her head, shrugging. "It's okay, I understand. Just… give me a call when you're ready to date." Logan couldn't respond. He knew he'd lost interest in Peggy, and he was grateful he didn't have to be impolite by telling her so. She was just another cool, understanding girl. She turned, giving him a final smile before walking away. Logan's shoulders slumped. As cool as she was, she was way off. He didn't have feelings for Camille. At least, he didn't think he did. He just wanted her to lift whatever crazy spell she put on him! He wanted the words she'd said earlier to stop bothering him! Frowning, he walked briskly to her.

"Camille?" Logan called for her, and she turned, smiling when she saw him. "Listen, I-" Just as he began speaking, another voice interrupted him. A boy approached them, holding the large snacks that Logan had a minute prior.

"Oh, Logan, this is my date. Steve." Camille introduced them, beaming. Logan, remotely astonished, peered down at Steve's outstretched hand. He shook it, forgetting completely what he wanted to ask Camille.

"The movie's gonna start soon. We should probably go." Steve stated, taking Camille's hand. Logan snapped out of his astonishment, meeting Camille's stare.

"Err, yeah. Enjoy the movie." he said lamely, taking Camille's spot. She and her date disappeared into the crowd, and Logan watched after them. He suddenly wondered what all had happened to lead to this moment. He was numb, and he couldn't tell what he wanted to do anymore. So many questions were buzzing around in his head, he almost didn't notice when Kendall, Carlos, and James appeared beside him.

"So… None of us are making out tonight." Kendall proclaimed, sighing. Carlos hung his head, and James ate from his bag of popcorn.

"You know, I still have four tickets to The Unicorn Princess." he admitted after gulping a mouthful of the salty snack. Kendall and Carlos exchanged glances, then shrugged. "You in, Logan?" At last, the boys took notice of their friend, seeing he was staring blankly ahead.

"Nah, I… I think I need to take a drive." Logan replied, not looking up. His friends could see the heartache in him, but who they thought it was for, wasn't the right person at all. Not even Logan knew who he was pining over. Kendall, Carlos, and James raced to their movie, and Logan hopped off of the stool. He shoved his hands into his pockets, sauntering out to his car.

Sitting behind the wheel, Logan leaned against the seat, pushing his hair back. He had to sort out everything on his mind. Try as he might, there was too much. He wasn't over anything, and he needed to figure out what put him in such a hazy state. Camille's theory of him having feelings for Effy was too easy to pin the blame on, but he couldn't leave it at that. There was something else. Though Kendall was right about them needing to move on, he simply couldn't. To make matters worse, he couldn't explain why. Logan hated himself for the longest time after remembering what he'd left behind in Sherwood, and he still hadn't completely forgiven himself. He doubted he ever would. At least not until he sorted everything out with Effy and felt even. Perhaps that was the source of all the stress. He knew she was just a few minutes away from him now. All he had to do was find her, and spill out everything on his mind. That was it.

_Maybe I'm on to something._ Logan thought, opening his eyes. He stared up at the stars for a while, counting five before confusing which ones had already been counted. A cool breeze hit him, and he inhaled deeply. Feeling he had put his mind somewhat at ease, he started the car and drove off. Logan's tense mood mellowed out as he drove, the cool night air having a positive effect on him for once. He had always been practical. Logical. His head had always been straight, and he always knew the answer. This time would no longer be different. It never had to be in the first place; he just had to think about in with the right perspective.

Of course, whenever Logan saw Effy, he was right back to where he started. He felt guilty all over again. Seeing her broke his heart in at least twenty different ways, and he couldn't decipher them all. It was so unnerving that she had the power to do that to him, and she didn't even realize it. Even more unnerving than that was the idea that he had allowed his guilt to drag him that far down. He knew it was serious. He knew, regardless of how many times he tried to stand back up, he would crumble when Effy stared at him with her tantalizing eyes.

Cursing, Logan gripped the steering wheel tighter, speeding up once he was on the highway. He was only a couple miles from the Palm Woods now. Halfway down the almost empty highway, he noticed a figure he was nearing. As it became larger, and more clear, he knew who it was. He almost knew he was going to see her anyway. Whether she was a hallucination or not, Logan knew he was going to see Effy somewhere. He couldn't get away from her, and maybe that was a sign. For what? He wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps it was a sign that he was right. Perhaps he needed to talk to her, and air everything out. Slowing down, he tilted his head, seeing the face of the girl. He didn't really have to confirm it was her. Logan knew from the candy apple red hair, and the trench coat he'd seen her wearing when she left for work.

_You've gotta be kidding me._ he couldn't help but think. He stopped the car in the slender space provided for vehicles that stalled, or something of the like, and watched Effy pause. Her hair was messy, and her makeup ran down her face.

"What are you doing out here Effy?" Logan asked, observing her. She appeared to be sick. Where there wasn't makeup, he saw pale flesh. There were bags under her eyes, and they were bloodshot, as if she hadn't slept for days. Rather, it seemed to be a combination of lacking sleep and crying. Then there was the look in them. The stare wasn't one Logan had seen before. "Effy… Get in the car." She continued to stare at him with eyes that weren't hers, and eventually obeyed. He watched her for a moment, but she didn't move. She sat catatonically, staring ahead. Only when he started the car again did she move.

"I'm assuming you want something," Effy mumbled, unbuttoning her trench coat. She shrugged it off of her shoulders, and Logan's eyes widened. He didn't see anything covering her shoulders, and with the fear of her being nude, he pushed her coat back up. She stared at him, and Logan finally realized what look she had in her eyes. She had the empty, bizarre stare of a drunk. He tried to detect alcohol or smoke on her breath, but there was nothing. She was sober. That didn't help explain what was going on with her though.

"Effy, just enjoy the ride okay? We're going back to the Palm Woods." Logan commanded, accelerating to quickly get back to his apartment. He had his suspicions of what was going on with her, but he didn't want to be right. Not again. If Effy was this far gone… He doubted he could take it. With how he handled everything else, knowing that Effy's mental deterioration had reached a new high would break him. Effy folded her arms on the door, resting her head on them. She watched the lights and buildings move by her, all of them blurring together after a while. Her eyes were blank, distant. She didn't notice when Logan parked at the Palm Woods. She didn't notice when he called her name, or when he helped her out of the car. She couldn't see the worry on his face.

With her arm hung over his neck, and his hand on her waist, Logan led Effy through the empty lobby. Luckily, even Bitters wasn't there. Effy stumbled along beside Logan, her head hanging down. She wasn't drunk, nor had she been smoking. She was completely sober. She just wasn't Effy at the moment. Logan brought her to apartment 2J, peering inside to see if Mrs. Knight was home. Kendall had said she was going out with friends, but he didn't know if she would be out late or not. When he saw the apartment was empty, he figured she _was_ going to be out either as late as the boys, or a little later. Kicking the door shut behind him, Logan took Effy's wrist. His grip on her wasn't tight, or at least he didn't think it was. However, she yelped and yanked her arm away from him.

"Effy? You okay?" Logan asked hesitantly, seeing she was still in her numb state. Effy staggered towards the counter, leaning against it. Her tired eyes rolled back, and she began slipping towards the ground. Logan swiftly caught her, holding her up. His hand was on her wrist again, and he noticed her flinching. Curiously, he helped her sit on the stool, and pushed up the sleeve of her trench coat. He gulped, feeling his stomach churn. Effy's fingers were flaked with dried blood, and her hand was a raw shade of red. That wasn't what made Logan sick though. Her entire forearm was mutilated. Scabs covered one area, and what wasn't protected by a scab appeared charred and bruised. Thin cuts were intricately looped around other cuts, almost artistically. Logan suddenly realized what the needles he'd found were used for. It only further dismayed him. "Effy…?" She didn't respond.

Gulping again, Logan lifted Effy, carrying her to the bathroom. He sat her on the edge of the tub, turning to the cabinets to find disinfectant and bandages. Once he found them, he sprayed the disinfectant on a thin washcloth, lifting Effy's horridly abused arm. Cleaning the dried blood, he carefully wiped the cloth over the scabs and open cuts. Effy showed slight response to the stinging with her uncomfortable shifting, but didn't make a sound. Once Logan was done disinfecting the abrasions, he began wrapping the bandages around her arm, tying it securely once everything was covered.

"Is there anything else that's hurting, Effy? I need you to tell me." Logan whispered softly, his hand on her shoulder. Effy's eyelids drooped, and she didn't reply. Knowing he wouldn't sleep right ever again if he didn't make sure she wasn't hiding anything, he trembled as he pushed back her trench coat. To his relief, her chest was wrapped with bandages similar to the ones he'd just used for her arm. Though, when he thought about it, he was also horrified to see bandages there. What other damage had she done to herself?

Only Effy's arm seemed to have any need for care. The rest of her body was fine, but Logan had to use that term loosely. Her skin was paler than he remembered, and she had gotten thinner, if that was even possible. He could only see the faint beginnings of her ribs, but nothing worse. It wasn't to the point where it was disgusting to see. Even so, it tore at his heart. Her waist was only a fraction of his, and her arms were almost toothpicks on her body. Logan could feel his throat closing, and his eyes burning. She hadn't beat anything. The help he and the boys had tried giving her had done nothing, and if anything, they pushed her further into her negativity by leaving. She was worse now.

Turning away, Logan distracted himself by dampening another cloth with hot water. He sat beside Effy, tilting her head to wipe the makeup from her face. The black came off easily, and soon he could see her plain face. Once again though, he wasn't entirely relieved. Her left eye had a natural black ring around it, disguised by the makeup. The red on her lips hadn't been lipstick, but blood. Her bottom lip had a minor split. When Logan looked back at her eyes, he saw they were no longer blank and empty. Effy's eyes were drilling into his. They were her eyes again.

"Effy, what's going on?" Logan asked desperately, his hand grasping hers. Effy's stare wasn't angry, or suspicious. It was a stare that longed to see what it was beholding. She could see Logan was near tears, and she didn't want that anymore. She thought she did, but now that she saw how deep his hurt ran, she couldn't decide what she wanted. "Effy, please talk to me. I want to help. I'm sorry - I'm sorry I left… Effy, I didn't think things through, I-" He swallowed, trying to get all of the words out without breaking down. She could see this had all been eating away at him for months. Yet again she didn't know whether she wanted to feel triumphant or culpable. "Talk, damn it! Say any-"

Suddenly, Effy grabbed Logan's face, crushing her lips against his. His eyes were wide, but gradually, they closed and he held Effy against him. He kissed her in a way he'd never kissed Camille, and he couldn't place why it felt right to do so. All he knew, was that her hair was silky and soft between his fingers, and her skin was warm as his hand brushed her cheek. Effy could feel Logan's hand move down her waist, and her body tingled at his touch. Just his fingers sweeping over her skin sent tremors down her spine. His lips were soft against hers, and she inhaled the scent of his cologne. Logan savored her taste, nostalgic when her aroma wafted through his nostrils. She smelled like home. She _felt_ like home. That's what Effy was though. She was home to him.

Their breaths were heavy, but after breaking apart for only a second, the two were attracted back to each other like magnets to metal. Effy fell against the wall, her hands in Logan's hair. He'd never kissed anyone with such force. He assumed he would've had to ask James for tips. He didn't know it would come so naturally. Logan knew, though, that everything with Effy was natural. Being her friend, dancing with her, and now kissing her - all of it took no effort. It was because he knew she wouldn't judge his performance. None of it was a test with her. It was all things that just happened. Natural.

"Wait, no." Effy gasped, pulling away. Logan's breath caught, and he watched Effy's fingers move up to her lips. She looked confused, as if trying to figure out what was going on. He felt his heart pound against his chest, and seemingly break from the way it was beating. What was really breaking it though, was Effy. She was going through something, and he couldn't help her!

"Effy, calm down!" Logan shouted, taking her hand. She struggled, shaking her head.

"I can't- _We_ can't!" Effy protested. Hearing what seemed to be regret in her tone, Logan felt his heart sink. Did she want to kiss him or not? Did _he_ want to kiss _her_ or not? Unable to stop himself, Logan tilted Effy's chin up, pressing his lips against hers. She didn't kiss back, but she didn't fight him. At least not for the first five seconds. "Logan, don't!"

"Why not?" he demanded, his face still within close proximity. "I _want_ to kiss you! I'll admit that!" Effy's eyes widened, and she staggered back as if she'd been slapped. Throughout her time at the Palm Woods, she knew Logan had changed. His level of assertiveness grew, as well as his confidence. It may not have been noticeable to the boys, but they'd been together the whole time. None of them would notice a gradual change in each other. Effy, on the other hand, was meeting an entirely revamped Logan. She searched for the right words, but nothing came to mind. She didn't know what was going on anymore. She was feeling dizzy. Once again, Logan's lips found hers.

"No! Logan, don't… I can't- this should've happened. I…" Effy was still trying to find the right words, but Logan grabbed her and held onto her thin frame before she could say anything else. He inhaled her scent, and relished in the feel of having her against him. After a long moment, Effy pushed him away. "I'm sorry, Logan. I… I shouldn't have done that. I just - You don't know me, Logan! You don't..." There was clearly more she had to say, but Effy shook her head and ran passed him. Logan followed her out, seeing her stop at the counter. Her eyes were locked on a photograph that rested on one of the shelves. Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and James were in their hockey uniforms, grinning at the camera. They weren't any older than seven, and Effy paused, because she remembered being at that game. She was the one who took the picture. Feeling lightheaded again, Effy fell. She hit the ground with a fairly quiet thump, and Logan ran to her side.

"Effy? Effy!" he shouted, tapping the side of her face. She didn't wake up. Logan held on to her hand, feeling the heavy knot in his stomach. Effy had always needed help, and it had turned into help he just couldn't provide anymore. Shoving the thought from his head, he lifted Effy up. He carried her again, back to her apartment. He wasn't going to let her down this time. He wasn't going to abandon her. He _could_ help her. All he had to do was work at it. This time, he was going to make sure she was okay. This time, she was going to beat all of her struggles. His practical side objected to everything, but that voice wasn't loud enough anymore. He wasn't going to give up.

Reaching apartment 3L, Logan kicked at the door, carefully handling Effy so he could free his hand and knock. He tried opening the door, but it was locked.

"Oliver! Open up! I have Effy!" Logan shouted, knocking on the door again. After the second knock, the door flew open and Oliver stood before him, his eyes widening with fear at the sight of Effy. Logan carried her inside, setting her down on the sofa. Oliver kneeled down beside her, checking her, but for what, Logan didn't know. "Where's Dexter?" Instantly after asking the question, he noticed Oliver freeze. He turned, staring up at Logan. There was confusion in his eyes, similar to what Logan saw in Effy's.

"Dexter is always with Effy…" he admitted, trying to figure out what Logan was talking about. Oliver's mind was working harder than it ever had to work before, and suddenly, he felt threatened. Everything he knew was confusing him, and he was cracking. "You need to leave! You need to go! Leave, go, you need to! Right now!" Jumping up, a strength Logan never knew Oliver had came out, and he was pushed into the hall. Oliver swiftly closed the door behind Logan, locking it just as quickly as he'd closed it.

Though Logan wanted nothing more than to figure out what had happened to Effy, Oliver wasn't going to let him back into the apartment. He knew there was no fighting against that. Running a hand through his hair, Logan sighed and began his walk back to 2J. His heart was beating rapidly, and he could still feel Effy's lips. Oliver's words ran through his mind, and while the elevator was taking him to the floor below, he realized what that meant. Dexter was with Effy. Logan found her alone, and she was hurt. The damage to her arm could've been self inflicted, but someone had given her the split lip and black eye. Dexter hit her. Feeling his head was ready to explode, Logan breathed in and out as steadily as he could. His fists had tightened, and they were shaking. He knew he wasn't good to talk to anyone, and he knew he wouldn't be for a while.

He also knew Camille was right.

He liked Effy.


	10. Chapter 15: The Mixed Tape

**Author's Note: Wow. I was really disappointed with the KCA's. Big Time Rush deserved both of those awards. Anyway, to ease our mourning, here's the latest chapter of STM! It feels like my weakest chapter, but I enjoyed writing it. I liked it, at least. Anyway, tell me if there's any typos and whatnot. Leave reviews about what you liked or didn't like!**

**Shout outs: ****Past the Sorrow**** by **_**waterwicca**_**, ****Ampersand**** by **_**christinainwonderland**_**, and ****Skins: BTR**** by **_**xxTheStoryofUsxx**_**! These stories are fantastic, and you'd be crazy not to read them! So go! Read! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 15: The Mixed Tape

"Dogs! Good work today, I think we'll wrap up practice here." Gustavo stated, his naturally loud voice booming into their sound booth. The boys tossed off their headphones, pushing each other on the way out of the booth. All with the exception of Logan. He wasn't in the mood to play around. After hearing Oliver's story last night, he was the one who took the frail boy back to his apartment. Effy was still asleep on the sofa, and Logan had to check to make sure she was breathing. When he confirmed she was fine, he searched the other rooms for Dexter, but found nothing. His fight with Effy was serious. He'd hit her. Either he fled, or he was coming back much later. Logan didn't care. All he knew was that he wanted to hear the entire story. He wanted Effy to fill in the blanks of Oliver's explanation, and he wanted to know all the secrets she was hiding.

Walking into Rocque Records' pantry, Logan fished out a fruit water from the refrigerator, taking a few large gulps before removing his lips from the bottle. All night he'd been trying to figure out possible answers to his plethora of questions, as well as a way to help Effy. She was mentally unwell when they left her, and that alone had to cripple her sanity further. Then the fact that Cecile committed suicide had to have broken her even more. He still didn't know where all of it started though! He laid awake for most of the night, trying to remember everything he'd discovered about Effy when they were growing up in Sherwood. Her last words to him rang throughout his head when he found nothing useful. He didn't know her. He didn't know her at all.

"Logan?" James snapped the brunette from his reverie, staring at his friend with concern. "What's wrong, dude?" He asked as if he didn't know the answer. Logan shook his head, but James pressed on. "You've been so full of angst since you found out Effy's been living here, and it's driving me crazy. I wish you would just do something about it! I mean, today, your solos were insane. You've never sang with that much passion before. It's awesome you can put all that angst somewhere, but it's not doing anything for you! Why don't you just go to Effy? I don't get it." Kendall and Carlos stood outside of the room, having heard James from down the hall.

"It's not that simple." Logan objected, shaking his head. James took the fruit water from his hands, slamming it down onto the counter.

"What isn't simple? Just go tell her!" he ordered, throwing his hands into the air.

"Tell her what, James?" Logan sighed, exhausted. He knew what James was talking about though. If anyone could read this emotion in people, it was James. He had seen it back in Sherwood, and though Logan had convinced him otherwise, James wasn't going to have that now. He knew he was right.

"Tell her you fucking love her." he whispered, giving Logan's shoulder a push. James grinned, turning away and leaving Logan to think about what he'd said. "Come on guys. Logan's gonna walk home. He needs some fresh air and time to think!" James nearly sang this command, and Kendall and Carlos eyed Logan before thinking James was right. It took Logan a moment to catch on, but when he did, his eyes widened.

"Wait! No!" Logan shouted, running out to their car. James had taken the liberty of starting it, and was already driving off with the boys. Logan stood, watching after them with his mouth agape. "Damn it, James!" Running a hand through his hair, he sat on the bench outside of Rocque Records, exhaling. As much as he hated to admit it, James was right. It was simple. All he had to do was tell Effy the truth. The only thing hindering him were the words she'd said! He didn't know her! It bothered him to no end, and he knew it was true. He didn't know how to help her, he didn't know what was wrong with her, and he didn't know who she was now.

"Are you okay?"

Logan's head snapped up, and he cringed at the sharp pain in his neck. Looking at the entrance of the studio, he saw Kelly standing with her car keys. He shook his head, staring down again. His lack of verbal response let Kelly know that whatever was on Logan's mind wasn't trivial. He was taking something seriously, and it was getting to him. She sat down beside him, fidgeting with her keys.

"What's going on?" Kelly asked, watching Logan tug at his hair. He was silent for a while, and Kelly waited patiently for his answer. Sighing, he caved and let the story come out.

"There's an old friend I had in Sherwood. I was… gonna tell her liked her, the day Kendall called you and Gustavo and took us all to L.A. She was really sick, and we were the only ones helping her. I lost contact with her after coming here, and for the past five months I've been killing myself with the guilt. It's never been as bad as it is now, because I found out she's here. She's with this… awful guy though, and everyone at the Palm Woods thinks he's a psycho." Logan explained, hearing the guilt and misery saturating his voice. "I still like her. I finally admitted it to myself the other night. That didn't help anything though. She's gotten more sick, and I don't know what to do. I can't turn her in, because I don't think I could handle having her get taken away. It feels like… like I'll fail her again, if I do that. I won't let the guys tell anyone, because I was so sure I could help her, but… I know I can't. I mean, I know, but I won't let myself believe that. It's confusing."

Blowing out a deep breath, Logan ran his hands through his hair again, pulling out a few strands. The stress was breaking him, and Kelly could see it. She wondered why he sang so differently today, and now she knew. There was a girl on his mind. From the way he spoke about her, she could clearly tell he had feelings for her.

"All I want to do is go back to the days where we could be normal, you know? I want to go back to that day we first came to L.A, and say no. I want to go through with my plans and tell her how I feel. I didn't know if she felt the same then, but… I do now. She kissed me! That's gotta count for something!" Logan continued, thinking back to his kiss with Effy.

"Then why can't you tell her? What's the problem? Her boyfriend?" Kelly asked. Her concern for all of the boys flattered them. She was like a second mother or big sister, in a way. Over the months they'd all gotten to know each other, she grew to really care about them.

"She told me I don't know her. And I don't. We lost our friendship; too much time passed. I couldn't argue with her, even if I had a valid point. She gave me that look she always gave me when she wasn't going to talk anymore about something. I recognized it…" Logan rambled on, shaking his head. Kelly scrutinized him when he began talking about the look Effy had given him, unable to believe he wasn't listening to the words he was saying.

"Are there any other looks you remember her giving you?" Kelly inquired, folding her arms over her chest. Logan chuckled, nodding.

"She used to make this face when James wore sandals to school, and when we all went out for ice cream, her face lit up when she saw they added Cookies n'Cream to the menu. And then…" Logan's voice trailed off, and he started to think about one of his last dates with Camille. When they had ice cream, she talked about how the little things made the craziness of Hollywood worth it. "Oh, my God." Seeing he realized what she noticed, Kelly grinned and patted his back.

"And if you can't just talk about liking her, you're a singer. Use that." Kelly advised, standing up and walking off to her car. Logan pulled out his cell phone, dialing Kendall's number. After two rings, his friend answered.

"Tell James to get the car back here. I know what I wanna do for Effy." Logan stated, without even waiting for Kendall to say hello. In the background he heard James and Carlos cheering, and he shook his head. He couldn't be disapproving now though. He finally had a plan he could work with. James didn't take long to drive back to Rocque Records. His dangerous driving concerned Logan, but not enough for him to lose focus on what mattered at the moment. Jumping into the car, he smirked at Kendall and Carlos. "I'm gonna need your help, guys."

Logan explained his plan to the boys, earning a few teases in the beginning, but ultimately the boys knew he was on to something. Fishing out a pen and napkin from the floor in the backseat, he began jotting down everything on his mind. Once they got to the Palm Woods, he'd have to find Guitar Dude. If anyone could help Logan write a song, it was the guitar maniac himself. James parked crookedly in the Palm Woods parking lot, pocketing the keys as he and the rest of the boys ran inside.

"I know that you like rain on Sunday mornings. You like the numbers seventy-five and twenty-one, and you hate when guys wear sandals. I know you love me, even if you won't admit it." Logan stated, smiling. He was talking to himself as he wrote down the potential lyrics, scratching through what he didn't want to keep. Carlos and Kendall led him to Guitar Dude, and the musician was happy as always to see his friends.

"What's up, dudes?" he asked, strumming his guitar. Logan held up the napkin.

"We need your help." the boys stated together. Guitar Dude took the napkin from Logan's hand, reading what hadn't been crossed out. A long minute passed, and the boys couldn't tell if Guitar Dude would lend a hand or not. Finally, he tilted his sunglasses down and grinned.

"I think we can make this happen." he announced, strumming more chords while the boys exchanged grins.

Effy had woken up about an hour before noon. All night she dreamed about what had happened between her and Dexter. He said she was weak. He said as hard as he was working to help her, she wasn't changing. Effy had quit her job, leaving the clothes she used for work only behind. Though it felt rather suggestive and whore-like to walk down the streets in nothing but a trench coat, no one would know. All she wanted was time to think, and a breath of fresh air. Quitting her job struck a nerve with Dexter when she told him, and the two met in seclusion behind an alleyway. She didn't know things would go so far. There was a struggle, and she ended up hurt. After that, she could only remember blacking out. When she came to, Logan was cleaning her up. She remembered kissing him, and knowing it was wrong. Nothing filled in the gaps from there. It was all blank.

Oliver was sleeping in his room, and when Effy checked on him, she could see his eyes were puffed and red. He had been crying. Whatever happened, she had scared him. She could feel her frustration building inside of her. What had she missed? What was Dexter going to do next? How far was she going to let all of this go? Angrily, she slammed her fist on the counter in the kitchen, falling against it. Wiping her eyes, Effy composed herself as she left for her bathroom. She started the shower, soaking in the hot water until it froze. Staring at her reflection in the broken mirror, Effy sighed and quickly left for her bedroom. She pulled on whatever clothes she grabbed first, walking back out into the living room. Oliver was awake, and watching TV.

"Oliver?" Effy whispered, gaining his attention almost immediately. He frowned, staring at her with a disapproval she had never seen before. "Olli, I'm so sorry…" She reached out to him, pulling him into her arms. He didn't move.

"Can you remember anything, Effy?' Oliver asked. He knew exactly what not to say. Effy failed to give her brother any credit lately. He knew a lot more than she wanted him to know, but that was something she couldn't control. Oliver was observant; he couldn't help that. When she didn't answer, he knew what it meant. She couldn't remember. "Can you make Dexter go away?" The question made Effy's eyes widen. She didn't know how to respond. Could she make Dexter go away? This was a question she'd asked herself before, but quickly buried under other thoughts. She was too weak to make him leave. Oliver couldn't handle him on his own either, so they had no choice.

"We're not strong enough, Olli-"

"Effy!" Oliver interrupted her, clearly dissatisfied by her answer. He stood up, moving away from her. "Ask Logan, Carlos, Kendall, and James for help. They're our friends. Remember?" His tone was begging, and Effy knew that the boys were an option she had. Of course, that was before she decided to ruin everything. They hated her. At the very least, James hated her now.

"Olli… I-" Once again, Effy was interrupted. Not by Oliver, though. This time, someone was knocking at the door. Oliver and Effy froze, listening to the loud bangs.

"Effy! Effy, are you there?" The voice belonged to Logan. Sighing with relief, Oliver relaxed. Effy, however, didn't know how to answer. She couldn't think of anything. She was quiet for a second longer before her mouth decided to work on its' own.

"Go away, Logan!" Effy cried, curling up on the ground. She couldn't deal with him now. Not when Oliver was already so angry at her. Her brother shot her a glare, stepping towards the door, but Effy dragged him to the ground. Pinning him down, she covered his mouth as Logan continued to knock.

"We need to talk, Effy. I need to tell you something!" he shouted. Effy struggled to contain Oliver, knowing she would have to apologize later. She had done so much to traumatize her poor twin, and it made her want to cry now that she thought about it.

"Logan… I told you last night - that was a mistake. We can't… You don't know me." Effy repeated herself. When these words left her lips, Oliver calmed down, staring up at her. She was going to push away the last few people that could help her, and he knew it. On the other side of the door, Logan was silent. The siblings were tense for a long, quiet moment, waiting for the knocking to continue. It didn't. Everything was still. Oliver closed his eyes. She was really going to do it. She was going to ruin any chance at help, and she didn't seem to care.

Suddenly, the two heard the sound of a guitar playing. Voices began singing harmonies, and above those voices, Logan sang.

"You love the numbers 21 and 75

In the 5th grade, you wiped out my hard drive

I didn't forgive you until you cried

Outside

Your favorite color is green and on your knee,

You got a scar shaped like a diamond when you fell

From a tree,

You like the weather when it's cloudy, warm, but windy

Rain on Sunday mornings, classic rock, and indie"

Effy sat up, letting go of Oliver. She listened to Logan sing, feeling her heart beat harder against her chest.

"You like caricatures of people and colorful birds

Damn and hell were your first curse words

I remember this like it happened yesterday

I say,

You laugh at naked bodies cause

They're all funny

You hate when guys call a girl Angel

Or Honey

You used to like speeding down the highway in the dead of night

The air on your skin

You said it felt so right"

Giggles escaped Effy's lips, and a small smile broke out across her face. The music didn't stop there.

"I know in Sophomore year, we had an ice cream shop

Cookies n'Cream - your favorite flavor

With the M&M's on top

You told me you hate guys when they wear sandals

Corny pick up lines, and scented candles

And I know that you're afraid of the dark

I found out at the park"

All of the lyrics were derived from something Effy could remember, and her smile grew. She could _remember._

"I know you hate your natural hair color

Though I've never seen it I am sure

It looks fine

I'd still want you as mine

Even though you're perfect

You hate your body,

You don't think you're worth it

I happen to disagree

You mean the world to me

I know a lot more about you than you think I do

If you still doubt it, tell me what this song means to you

Please think it through…"

Logan finally stopped singing, but the guitar continued to play. It progressed into a different set of chords, and became slower. Effy recognized it, but she couldn't place where she'd heard the melody before. Then, the guitar became louder. The background voices began to sing more harmonies, and when Logan began to sing, Effy realized where she'd heard the song. The Fall dance. He beat against the door as a makeshift drum, and Effy could hear his passion in the song.

"You're all I want, you're all need! You're everything! Everything!" he sang the line three times, and the background voices grew louder. "And how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?"

Again, he repeated the lines, and with the music and supporting voices, Effy felt her eyes burning. She couldn't turn Logan away. As hard as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to want him gone. She needed him.

"Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?"

The sound of the guitar and the echo of the voices faded. Logan, Kendall, Carlos, James, and Guitar Dude stood outside of the apartment, waiting for a response. Seconds turned into minutes, and just as they were preparing to give up, the door cracked open. Logan saw Effy's eyes, and the door opened further. She stepped out, blinking back her tears.

"Effy, I think I- I think… uh," Logan whispered, placing his hand on Effy's cheek as he stuttered. She closed her eyes at the feel of his warm hand, and when she opened them, she stood on the tips of her toes, closing the distance between Logan and herself.

Her lips met his, and the boys howled and applauded around them.


	11. Chapter 3: Everything

**Author's Note: I'm not going to lie; this has to be my favorite chapter. Or at least one of them. I had the best time writing this!**

**Shout outs: Ampersand by **_**christinainwonderland**_** (also ask for her Tumblr, she's got a rockin' sci-fi story going on there for BTR), Past the Sorrow by **_**waterwicca**_** (it's getting insanely good, GO READ IT), and Skins: BTR by **_**xxTheStoryofUsxx**_** (she accepted my character - YES).**

**With that, I hope you enjoy this chapter of STM.**

* * *

Chapter 3: Everything

_For the following week, Effy didn't answer her phone when any of the boys called. She deleted their texts if they didn't say sorry, and after a while, deleted them without even looking at them. At school, she avoided the boys, and if they spoke to her, she ignored them. None of them understood what her problem was. They assumed at first it was just her monthly girl issue, but after two days, they started to think it was something more serious. She never stayed mad at them that long. Kendall, James, and Carlos were contemplating talking to her and hopefully clearing things up, but Logan stopped them._

_"Guys, if she doesn't want to talk to us, then fine. We can't make her." he stated, earning dubious stares from his friends. Slowly, they sat back down, waiting for Logan to continue. When he didn't, Carlos was ready to go back to their first plan._

_"Why shouldn't we? We've been friends since we were five!" he argued. Carlos pushed away his lunch, and the others knew this was something that rarely happened. When it did, something serious was going on. He missed Effy._

_In reality, they all did. Something was different about how she was ignoring them now. She wasn't the Effy they knew last week. There was a blossoming confidence in her now. Whenever they saw her in class, she answered questions just a little louder. She still had short, abrupt answers, but she made herself clear. People didn't tease her like they normally would, and though she still dressed, acted, and looked like Effy, it seemed that with Alec escorting her to the dance, she just wasn't Effy. She was Alec and Effy. She was just a name on the right side of an ampersand._

_"Carlos, she's… happier! Look at her! She's sitting with girls!" Logan cried, motioning to the table across the cafeteria. Effy was sitting amongst a couple flag girls. Though they were talking, Effy was staring down at the table. She didn't seem to ever speak unless spoken to. Kendall looked back at Logan, his eyebrow raised._

_"Dude, she doesn't look any happier than she did with us. In fact, she looks out of place, and really uncomfortable." he stated, shaking his head. Once again, he stood up, and James and Carlos copied. "We're gonna go apologize, and you should to. You offended her the most, you know."_

_"Shut up! I was joking with her, and she took it wrong. I'll apologize when she does for freaking out on us!" Logan declared, crossing his arms. Kendall rolled his eyes. Logan had never been so stubborn before, and he couldn't place why he decided to act in such a way now. Effy was going through something that was big for her, and the least they could do as friends was support her! James saw this to. In fact, he saw a bit more. Logan was the first to befriend Effy, so why now was he choosing to leave their friendship to fate? Since he had more experience with girls, he was beginning to piece things together. James wasn't book smart by any means, but he knew teen-angst problems when he saw them. Now that he looked at the situation subjectively, he wondered if there was something more to Logan's attitude._

_"Are you jealous?" James suddenly asked, causing Kendall and Carlos to jerk their heads in his direction. Logan coughed, getting cola in his nose. Mumbling swears, he wiped his nose with a napkin and glared up at James._

_"Jealous of what?" he demanded, setting his drink down._

_"Alec and Effy!" James shouted. The tables around them quieted down, and Logan gave James the look that said 'shut up'. The boys sat down, and James continued. "You've hated Alec since middle school, right? And you've been friends with Eff since Kinder, right?" Carlos and Kendall looked from James to Logan, and saw him shaking his head._

_"That has nothing to do with-"_

_"No, no! That has everything to do with this!" James interrupted him, holding up his hand. He felt smart for once, and he wasn't going to let Logan ruin it! "You're jealous of Alec, because he's taking the one girl that's ever felt like yours. Am I right?" He seemed eager, and firmly believed he __**was **__right. Kendall and Carlos saw his point, but they didn't know if they agreed. They hadn't really paid attention to the relationship between Logan and Effy. There never really seemed to __**be**__ a relationship. At least not beyond friendship._

_"No, you're completely off." Logan finally replied. James' face fell, and Carlos broke out in giggles. Picking up his trash, Logan stood and pushed in his chair. "If Effy wants to date a jerk, then fine. Forgive me for trying to look out for a friend." Angrily, he shoved the trash in the garbage can, storming off to his next class. Lunch didn't end for a few more minutes, but he wanted to be alone. Annoyed, he jogged up the staircase to his locker. He passed the door to his next class, which coincidentally he shared with Alec, and noticed there were people inside. Hearing the voices, he paused, wondering what they were doing. Their chemistry teacher never let them in during lunch. He wasn't one to eavesdrop, but this was a curious situation._

_"… and like I said, it was just a stupid joke. I'm not really going to the dance with her, babe."_

_Logan recognized that voice. It was Alec's! Hesitantly, he peered through the window on the door, confirming his suspicion. Alec sat on one of the front desks, and his ex-girlfriend, Trisha, sat on the desk beside him. Trisha didn't seem convinced, but when Alec neared her and began to kiss her, she didn't push him off. Clearly, she wasn't an ex anymore. Logan's eyes widened, and he pulled away from the window, staring around the empty hall. He wasn't a fighter. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't just run in there and fight with Alec because of what he was doing to Effy!_

_**The worst that could happen for fighting… Um, err- Suspension, alternative school, assault charges? Broken bones? Uh…**__Logan's mind raced with thoughts. He was about to run and find Kendall, James, and Carlos, when the bell rang. The halls suddenly crowded with students, and Logan pushed his way through them. He ran into the boys' restrooms, pulling out his phone. Hands trembling, he marked the others' names on his cell and sent the text, __**Science wing restrooms. Now. Ditching class.**__ The fact that he was telling __**them**__ to ditch would be the first signal that whatever he was getting them to meet for was serious._

_While Logan had caught Alec, the boys had decided to apologize to Effy. Whether or not Logan wanted to was his choice._

_"So what we're trying to say is, we're sorry." Kendall announced, speaking for the three of them. Effy sat, staring up at her friends. She still couldn't explain to herself (with a decent reason) why she didn't want to talk to them for the past two days, but hearing their apology helped. Though, she wondered why Logan was absent from the picture. She had seen them all together earlier. The idea that he didn't want to apologize upset her, but she moved her focus back to the boys in front of her. She didn't like to hold a grudge._

_"Alright. Apology accepted, and I'm sorry for yelling at you guys." Effy retorted, grinning. Kendall, James, and Carlos laughed._

_"Are you kidding? That's the first time you ever freaked out like that. It was awesome!" Carlos shouted. Effy began to join in their laughter, and she stood up to leave with them. Then their phones vibrated. The boys pulled them out, eyeing each other after reading the message. Effy watched them, curious as to what was gong on. "Err- We've gotta go, Eff! We'll see you later!" With that, the boys bolted off, leaving Effy confused. She didn't think much of it though. Shaking her head, she grabbed her book bag and headed off to class._

_Kendall, James, and Carlos raced against the five minutes they had before the late bell, avoiding the hall monitor as they headed to the restrooms Logan was at. Barely making it, the bell rang just as they entered the boys' restrooms. Logan sat on the counter with the sinks, his head against the wall, and his eyes closed. He was clearly stressed, having seen something he wished he hadn't seen. Though, he was slightly glad he witnessed Alec kissing Trisha. This justified how he felt about the situation with Effy. Hearing his friends, he opened one eye, sighing as he pushed himself off of the counter._

_"What's going on?" Carlos asked immediately, his phone still in his hand. Logan's hand ruffled through his hair, and he exhaled deeply. He didn't know how to word things right, especially not this. Usually he just struggled through his statements, or blurted them out. This wasn't something to just be blurted out though! He didn't even believe it for himself. Rather, he partially wished it wasn't true now. Effy would be devastated._

_"I saw Alec and Trisha in Mr. Simon's class." Logan admitted, rubbing his temples. James and Kendall glanced at each other._

_"And the two of them were working on a project?" Kendall asked hopefully, knowing where the conversation was going. He knew that Trisha and Alec dated. __**Everyone**__ knew, because the breakup was horrendous enough to be tabloid news. At least to guys on sports teams. Trisha had apparently slept with more sports boys than Tiger Woods did white women._

_"They were kissing, Kendall!" Logan gasped, his voice strained. His eyes were wild, desperate. Kendall's hand tangled in his hair, and his eyes shut. Effy was on his mind now. He knew just as Logan did that she was going to get hurt. Being the dedicated friend he was, he was ready to kick ass for his friend, but that couldn't be done just yet. They had to tell Effy first. Logan tugged at his hair, clearly stressed. "And not just stage kissing! Alec was eating her mouth!"_

_Carlos' face scrunched with disgust at the description. James could feel himself getting sick. He had made out with Trisha once, and if it hadn't been for Kendall almost breaking his arm, he would've done a lot more. He still owed Kendall for that one. Soon enough though, his mind (as well as Carlos') drifted to the person who mattered most at the moment. Effy. Their friend was being toyed with, and that wasn't acceptable. None of them knew what to say to each other, making the hour pass sluggishly. However, they did establish that once the bell rang, they were going to find Effy. They weren't going to let her be led on any longer._

_After waiting anxiously, the bell finally rang. Logan suddenly bolted from the restrooms, leaving the boys behind. He couldn't wait. As much as the boys cared about their friend, Logan needed to be the one telling her. Whether it was because he befriended her first, or because he was the one who witnessed what had happened with Alec and Trisha, or simply because he was a decent guy and he cared about Effy, he didn't know. All he knew, was that Effy was in sight, and he had to keep her from getting her heart broken. As her best friend, it was his job!_

_"EFFY!" Logan bellowed, receiving stares from the students around him. Effy turned, spotting him. She could see something was wrong, and she wondered if he was finally coming to apologize. He pushed through the crowd, grabbing her arm once he got to her. "Come on! We've gotta talk!" He pulled her through the mob of students, and behind them, Kendall, James, and Carlos tried to catch up. Logan continued to lead Effy through the halls stopping once they were outside the building._

_"Logan, what's going o-"_

_"Alec and Trisha were kissing!" Logan hissed, panting. Effy froze, her eyes suddenly narrowed as she looked at Logan. He let go of her arm, leaning over and catching his breath. Just seconds later, Kendall, James, and Carlos burst through the doors, seeing Logan doubled over. Effy was rigid, and her guard was on full alert. "I told her!" Still trying to catch his breath, Logan moved aside._

_"Effy… We're sorry." Carlos whispered, reaching for her arm. Effy quickly slid away. Her eyes were untrusting, and suddenly the boys were taken back to their first day of Kindergarten. This was the Effy they saw on the first day. She had eyes that chilled them. Eyes that they avoided. She appeared to be disgusted, and the boys could understand._

_"Eff, I know it's… It's shit. Alec shouldn't-"_

_"Shut up!" Effy cried, cutting off Kendall. The boys quickly looked at each other, then at Effy. Slowly it dawned on them that she didn't believe a word they said. "How… could you tell me that? I thought you guys were sorry!" She sounded betrayed. Hurt._

_"We __**are**__ sorry, but Logan's telling-"_

_"Did you all see him kissing Trisha?" Effy interrupted Kendall again, shaking with anger._

_"Well, no. Logan was the one who saw him. But-"_

_"Bullshit!" Effy wouldn't let Carlos finish. She wasn't going to hear this from them! They were supposed to be her friends! "Why are you guys trying to ruin this? I'm… happy! I'm actually happier than I ever thought I could be, because I feel normal for once, and you're… You're all fucking it up!" That was the first time they heard Effy swear with the heavier of the few curse words. Again, they stole glances at each other before focusing once more on Effy. Her eyes were wet with tears of anger and disbelief. She __**trusted**__ these boys, and they were feeding her lies. She just couldn't believe what they were saying. It was the logical thing to do, but she couldn't bring herself to accept it. The true reason had finally come out; she felt __**normal**__._

_"EFFY!" Logan shouted, grasping her shoulders. Her eyes widened, and they drilled into his as he gripped her. "I'm telling you the truth, Eff…" His voice was exasperated. Effy still couldn't believe him._

_"You didn't even say you were sorry… You just- You want to ruin this for me, and I don't understand why." Effy breathed, looking away. Logan's hands fell to his side, and she looked back at him angrily. "I don't want to see you again. You're being stupid, and… I hate you." Though she didn't shout it, the words were a slap to the face for Logan. A flash of pain was revealed in his eyes, but Effy turned and ran from him anyway. She couldn't listen to them anymore. She couldn't believe what they were saying. They were wrong. They had to be. She was desperate to keep a hold of feeling normal. Letting it go terrified her. She accepted that to be the reason why she was suddenly trusting a stranger over her best friends, and even though she knew better, she craved normalcy more than anything else._

_Watching Effy flee, Logan shook his head and bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't know what else to do. She didn't believe him. Kendall, James, and Carlos watched their friend, unable to absorb what just happened. It was all so fast, and so much had occurred. First, Logan never used force with Effy. Second, Effy just did not swear! Third… Well, Effy didn't believe them - her best friends - and was going to the Fall dance with a complete jerk. Carlos began walking after her, but Logan pulled him back. His friends eyed him, knowing the next thing he said wasn't going to be good._

_"Let her go. She's not gonna believe us! Just forget it." Logan said flatly, clearly defeated._

_"Wait, fuck that! Logan, she's our friend!" Kendall argued, shaking his head._

_"You want to convince her? You know she's stubborn. She's not going to believe us, Kendall! Just give it up." Logan retorted, glaring at his friend. Kendall pushed his hair back, pacing._

_"You want us to give up on our friend?" he demanded, stopping mid-pace. Logan's eyes narrowed, and after a long moment, he nodded. "You've gotta be kidding. Logan, she's our best friend!"_

_"I know she's our best friend!" Logan snapped back immediately. He didn't want to deal with this anymore. Effy was going to be hurt either way, so what was the point in trying?_

_**The point is, you're being a good friend by making Effy listen.**__ Logan thought, his frown deepening. Kendall shook his head, but said nothing more. Instead, he glared at Logan with disapproval and yanked the door open, storming off to his class. James and Carlos stood around Logan, waiting in the awkward silence for him to say something._

_"Just go back to class, guys." he finally ordered, waving them off._

_"We need to be there for her, Logan." James mumbled, waiting for Logan to respond. When he didn't, James sighed and left for class. Carlos, on the other hand, didn't move. He watched Logan pace for a few minutes, leaning against the railing that lined the walkway._

_"He's right, you know. We can't just let this happen." Carlos stated, placing his hand on Logan's shoulder. Logan paused, nodding after a moment. "What are we gonna do?" The question hung in the air for a long while, but Logan couldn't piece together an answer._

_"I don't know." he admitted, meeting his friends' gaze. With another heavy sigh, he patted Carlos' back. "Come on. We've gotta go to class." The two walked back into the building, parting once Carlos reached his classroom. Logan walked alone to his, shaking his head when he entered and was asked if he had a pass. He took his seat, staring blankly at the work on the board. Today just wasn't his day for it. There was too much else on his mind. For the rest of the period, he sat and stared blankly ahead, thinking of what he could do about Effy. Confronting Alec was the first and foremost thing, but he was going to play everything off. He was going to keep charming Effy, fooling her into thinking he was a good guy._

_When the bell rang, Logan blankly took his things to his last class, feeling as though he was elsewhere while his body endured school. His thoughts trailed from what he saw with Alec and Trisha, to what he was going to do, and finally to what Effy had said to him. For some reason, those words hit him harder than anything else. Effy had never really been this mad at him before. He didn't like it. Eventually, the bell ending the school day rang, and Logan escaped the classroom. His feet carried him to his bike, and once arriving to it, he saw the others were waiting for him with their bikes. Wordlessly, he unchained his, hopping on it and pedaling off. Kendall, James, and Carlos followed him, knowing he was still thinking things over. If he couldn't come up with a plan, it was up to Kendall. Never before had they failed to think of something, so Carlos and James never had to step out of their comfort zone and try to concoct a plan._

_Riding their bikes aimlessly around town, the boys were quiet for hours. Even then, Logan couldn't think of anything. Defeated for the day, they each headed home. Though, the next day, the process repeated. Effy ignored them all now, deleting dozens of texts and voicemails from her phone. After a while, she just shut it off. Her mother never had anything important to text her anyway. The boys hoped to see her at lunch to confront her, but she avoided the lunchroom as well now. Not knowing where to find her, they gave up on the lunch idea. Occasionally, one of them would see her in the hall, but she'd seen them first and ran off in the opposite direction. Effy was a lot better at avoiding them than they ever realized. Kendall and James tried to confront Alec, but just when they wanted to see him, he seemed to disappear from the school. He wasn't in the gym when they expected him to be, nor was he in the classes they thought he had. Logan and Carlos had the same rotten luck. They had the suspicion that Effy had told him what they told her, and figured he was hiding._

_Before the boys knew it, Friday was upon them. They dreaded the day, because they knew Effy was going to end up with her happiness crushed. Try as they did to prevent it, nothing they did worked. Logan suggested from the beginning they give up, and he seemed to be completely devoted to that plan now. James was slowly turning to it as well, but Carlos and Kendall were stubborn. Their friends came first. They weren't about to turn their back on Effy. Deciding they'd give one more shot to talking her out of attending the dance, they tried to find her immediately after school, but she left the moment the bell rang._

_Effy had rushed Oliver home, and was busy helping him dress while the boys were looking for her. Effy and Oliver's mother, Cecile, was ecstatic about the dance. She worked with Angela and Alec's mother at the hospital, and she always described Angela as a complete dream. Cecile trusted Angela to watch out for Oliver while enjoying her time with him. As for Alec, though he was a boy and she had her natural motherly concerns, she knew her daughter could handle herself. When it came to dolling herself up though, Cecile knew Effy was absolutely clueless. After fixing Oliver's hair, Cecile made her way to Effy's room. The door was ajar, and when she peeked inside, she saw Effy standing over her desk. Her eyes were staring intently at the makeup laid out before her, as if expecting it to come to life and paint her face._

_"I don't want to go, mom." Effy suddenly stated, not looking away from the makeup. Cecile's father had given the products to her ages ago, but Effy never thought to wear it. Makeup wasn't something she cared for. Since she never bothered to learn how to apply it, she was afraid to do so. What if she messed it up and made herself look like a complete idiot? Cecile shook her head, disappearing from the doorway. Effy wondered what her mother was doing, but Cecile returned before Effy could move. In her hands was a black and white dress, and a box that was clearly carrying shoes._

_"I've been saving this… just incase this situation every came up." Cecile admitted, setting the dress carefully on Effy's bed. Effy observed the dress, finding that she quite liked it. It was simple, but at the same time, it was bold for her. Glancing at her mother, she opened the shoe box. A laugh escaped her. Of course, as a mother, Cecile knew what her daughter would be okay with. The shoes - or boots, rather - were exactly what she needed to calm her nerves. It didn't necessarily match, but that seemed to comfort Effy. Taking the dress into the bathroom, she slipped it over her head, straightening it out before stepping into the boots. Once she came out of the bathroom, Cecile ordered, "Sit down. I'll help you with your hair and makeup." Smiling, Effy gladly obliged._

_Cecile sifted through the makeup, choosing the blue colors. They would correspond well with Effy's eyes, which was exactly what she was going to use them on. Taking her time, she colored an intricate design on her daughters' eyes. Once that was done, she quickly brushed over her lips with a soft, pink lipstick. Effy wanted to look in the mirror, but her mother stopped her. First, she had to have her hair done. The last hour Effy had to ready herself was spent on her hair, and Cecile took her time yet again to perfect it. Instead of a limp ponytail, Effy's hair was curled at the tips, and draped her shoulders' neatly. At last, she was allowed to look at her reflection. Her eyes bulged from their sockets. The girl in the mirror wasn't her. The girl in the mirror was something Effy had always wanted to be like, but never thought she could become. Shaking her head incredulously, she whirled around, embracing her mother._

_"I'm assuming this means you like it." Cecile guessed, laughing as she hugged her daughter. Before Effy could respond, the doorbell rang. Eagerly, Cecile and Effy jogged down the stairs. Oliver was waiting for them, and quickly, Cecile opened the door. Angela and her father stood at the doorway._

_"Hello, you must be Cecile. My wife's told me so much about you." Angela's father said, holding out his hand. Cecile shook it, nodding her head._

_"Hi Michael, it's nice to finally meet you. And you must be Angela! Oliver's very excited." she announced, moving aside so Oliver could come into view. Angela's father studied him, clearly approving. The impression Oliver gave was something any father would love. He wasn't going to do anything with Angela. "So you'll be driving them to the dance?"_

_"Yes, I'm actually a chaperone." Michael informed Cecile, setting his arm on Angela's shoulder. "Don't worry, your boy will be safe." Angela took Oliver's hand, leading him outside. He gave his mother one more smile, then ran to the car with his date._

_"Thank you, Michael. Tell Mary I said hello!" Cecile waved him off, watching as he and the kids piled into his car and drove off. Once they were out of her sight, she turned, seeing Effy with her purse. "You're walking?"_

_"Yeah, mom. Alec and I were going to meet at the café. That's… where he asked me out." Effy admitted, her cheeks warming up. She was never one for the romantic clichés, but this one was different._

_"Alright, but be careful." Cecile warned sternly. She moved out of the way so her daughter could get by, but not before kissing her forehead. "Have fun, honey." With those parting words, Effy left the house. She walked down the street, her mood absolutely blissful. There were twice as many butterflies in her stomach as there had been when Alec invited her to the dance, and for a majority of the walk, she felt weightless. Tonight was something she'd never forget. For the first time, she felt like a girl, and wasn't doubtful or hesitant about it. She felt normal. Again, the butterflies left her stomach in the form of giggles, and she walked as fast as she could in her boots._

_Eight o'clock was the time on her phone when Effy arrived outside of Tony's Café. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down. She had caught herself shaking, not from the cold, but from nerves. This was her first date! The sudden realization of how many firsts she expected tonight shook her relaxed demeanor, and she needed another deep breath. Rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, Effy watched the cars drive by for another five minutes. The air was gradually becoming colder as the minutes trickled by, and Effy checked her phone again, seeing that it was now eight-thirty. She reasoned Alec had something going on that was keeping him, and decided to wait inside for a few minutes to warm up. Her eyes focused on what was going on outside, and each time a car passed, she was hopeful that it would stop and Alec would step out._

_It was nine-fifteen before Effy finally decided that was never going to happen._

_As the hour went by, a voice in the back of Effy's mind had constantly reminded her of what Logan and the boys tried telling her, but she shoved the thought away. That hour was the longest of her life, and each time a car slowed down and raised her hopes, only to crush them when someone else appeared to be driving, the butterflies disappeared. Now her stomach felt sick, and she wanted to go home. She wasn't weightless anymore. In fact, there was a weight so heavy on her heart, she was surprised it didn't flatten and kill her. She could only wish that something __**would**__ kill her. Effy didn't feel normal anymore. Now she was back to being an embarrassed loser. Closing her eyes, she hopped off of the stool she sat on and headed back outside._

_"Effy?"_

_The voice that greeted her once she stepped out of the café was one she didn't expect to hear. Opening her eyes, Effy felt the lump in her throat become more prominent. Standing before her, dressed and neatly groomed, were Logan, Carlos, James, and Kendall. The boys gawked at their female friend, each of them trying to pick their faces up from the ground. None of them could've imagined Effy this way. Carlos considered her one of the boys, and had never once given thought to her being "hot" like any other girl could be. Kendall had the same mindset, but was a little more realistic. He knew Effy had the potential, he just never expected to see it. His mind was blown. James, upon seeing Effy, felt his blood rush to a certain part of his body, but quickly thought of unpleasant things to keep the moment civilized. Effy was his friend after all. He couldn't just think of her that way. Logan's mouth was agape, and though he had been considerably made over, Effy took the cake. He couldn't even believe it was her, which was why he called out her name to make sure. For the first time, they could see she had curves! They could really see her girly features._

_"How'd you guys… Why are you…" Effy couldn't finish. She was ready to cry, which wouldn't be a complete first, but it would be the first time in a long time. The boys surrounded her, giving her sympathetic smiles._

_"We're your best friends. Even if you hate us." Kendall stated, grinning. Effy covered her face, pulling her head up after composing herself. "Well…"_

_"Will you escort us to the Fall dance?" the boys asked simultaneously, holding out their hands. Effy laughed, and her arms locked with James and Logan. Kendall and Carlos walked behind them, and the group made their way to the dance._

_Lights and balloons decorated the outside of the high school, and the gym was booming with music. People were dancing, and there were a few sitting at the few tables scattered along the edges of the gym, drinking punch or eating cake. When Effy walked through the doors with the boys, quite a few people did double takes. For the first time in anyone's memory, the hockey-heads were well dressed. On top of that, Effy looked like a girl! And to top that, they had __**all**__ come together. The five stepped onto the dance floor, and the boys each bowed to Effy._

_Kendall rose first, taking Effy's hand and twirling her around. Though the song was more upbeat, he went along to his own pace. Effy laughed as he continued to twirl her across the dance floor and back, clearly using the only dance moves he knew. That was enough for Effy though. He was still dancing. After his last turn, he passed her on to Carlos. She had a suspicion that they rehearsed such a smooth maneuver, but the boys may have just surprised her. Carlos performed something akin to salsa dancing with her, and it was more or less his attempt at it. Effy was having fun, regardless. Again, she was gracefully passed on, this time to James. He pulled her close, smirking when he spun around with her. He was the best dancer out of all the boys, but he was more into doing tricks than anything. As expected, he pulled away and back flipped before tangoing with Effy back to Logan. He took her hand from James, and carefully whisked her away. If anything __**he**__ had practiced. Logan couldn't dance to save his life, but he was doing just fine now._

_When Logan took her hand, the song changed, and Effy smiled. It was a song that matched the slow, smooth pace they were going at. Behind him, she saw the rest of the boys stepping back. They nudged each other, pointing to someone across the room. Her eyes followed their hand motions, and she saw them march over to none other than Alec. Logan saw her watching and chuckled, receiving Effy's attention once more. Though, she did see Kendall and James block Alec from anyone's view while Carlos pulled him away. The punch he was fetching for whoever he was with sat forgotten on the table._

_"What are they gonna do?" Effy asked, rolling her eyes. As she did that, she caught sight of Angela and Oliver. They were dancing, and they seemed to be having a genuinely good time. Angela clearly didn't know what Alec had done, and Effy found herself glad that she was with Oliver. She was serious about wanting to be with him, and Effy approved. Besides, she hadn't seen her brother that happy before. Who was she to take that away? Pulling her back to her own situation, Logan answered her question._

_"Well, Carlos is supposed to take his clothes and throw them in the pool, while James and Kendall tie him to the flagpole and pour IcyHot cream down his shorts." he explained, wincing at the thought. Effy laughed, shaking her head as the giggles overtook her. Her friends were something else, but that was why she loved them. Once she caught her breath again, she continued her dance with Logan. "Of course, we're still going to kick his ass on Monday." Again, Effy snickered, shaking her head. Logan gave her a smile, winking before spinning her and pulling her close again._

_"You've gotten better." she observed, grinning. Logan shrugged, feeling a blush creeping onto his cheeks. "I'm sorry for what I said. I should've believed you." Again, Logan shrugged, spinning and lowering her, then lifting her up to face him. His hand rested on the small of her back, holding her carefully. Effy leaned her head on his shoulder, the scent of his cologne entering her nose. He was warm against her, and she was comfortable. Though the position unnerved him at first, he slowly came to accept it. Kendall was right. Effy was his best friend, and he needed to be there for her._

_"I take it you don't hate me anymore?" Logan questioned, his pace slowing just a bit. Effy was quiet for a few moments, her eyes closed._

_"No, I don't hate you." she finally answered, keeping her head on his shoulder. The two turned again, stepping simply from left to right, and front to back. It was all Logan could do, but Effy found she liked it more than any dance she'd ever performed before. "Thanks for coming to the dance with me." Logan squeezed her hand._

_"No problem." he whispered, turning them again as the song neared its' end._

_**Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?**_


	12. Chapter 12: Barely Breathing

Chapter 12: Barely Breathing

Eight days passed, and neither Effy nor Dexter were bothered. Effy continued her usual routine, and was never really seen by anyone. Once or twice Carlos, James, or Kendall would notice her leaving for work, and they would try to wave. All Effy did was give them an acknowledging nod, and continue on her way. Logan seemed to be avoiding her. Either that, or he happened to always be somewhere else when she was walking through the lobby. She liked to think it was the latter. Although she didn't want to talk to him, knowing he didn't want to talk to her stung. Dexter assured her she was better off, and having it instilled in her mind that he was never really wrong, she listened. He seemed to be less aggravated, and for that, she was grateful. He was able to read his books and listen to his music without any of the boys or Palm Woods kids harassing him. That was enough to put him in a good mood. All the while, Oliver watched the shifting dynamics of his sister and Dexter. He could only assume the changes were a positive thing.

"Olli? Oliver?" Effy called out, setting the basket of laundry down on the loveseat. She pulled out her money, counting to make sure she had enough. Satisfied with the sum, she was about to call out for Oliver again, when he appeared from his room. "Did you want to come with me to wash clothes? You can take pictures." A broad grin stretched from ear to ear on Oliver's face, and he scampered back into his room, grabbing his camera. Smiling, Effy pocketed her money, lifting the basket and heading out. Oliver closed and locked the door behind them, taking a couple photos of Effy as they made their way to the elevator. He snapped shots of the décor in the hallway, and took at least twelve pictures before they were even inside the elevator. Once they were there, Oliver took photos of the buttons lighting up.

"I'm making something for you, Effy!" Oliver exclaimed as they descended to the first floor.

"Oh, really? What is it?" Effy asked, leading him down the hall once the elevator doors opened. She found the door marked as the entrance to the laundry room, and pushed it open. There were only a few washers running, and two of the dryers were occupied. Other than that, the room was empty. Oliver hopped onto the table, swinging his legs over the edge as he took another picture of Effy.

"I can't tell you! It's a surprise!" he stated, clicking different buttons on the camera. Oliver lifted the camera, zooming in on Effy as he filmed her. She glanced up, giving him a look that he knew to mean she didn't really want to be photographed, but she accepted he would do it anyway. Purchasing a box of detergent from the vending machine, Effy poured it into the washer, starting it and letting it run for a few moments before stuffing the clothes in. Oliver had taken to photographing the clothes that spun in the fancier washers. Leaning against the machine, Effy hung her head, yawning. There was a lot on her mind, resulting in a poor sleep.

Effy couldn't remember a lot of what had happened in the past few days. She remembered leaving for work, coming home, and watching a little bit of TV with Oliver, but that was it. There were short memories of Kendall or James waving at her when they saw her, but nothing else. It was all a gap in her mind. She couldn't remember eating, though she knew she didn't want to. She could remember Dexter scolding her, but thoughts of Dexter made her more and more uncomfortable lately. Twelve minutes ticked away on the clock, and the entire time, Effy tried to remember anything from the previous few days. Clearing her head, she took a deep breath and listened to the sounds in the laundry room.

"- So I said, forget this! And I left her at the restaurant." a sickeningly familiar voice stated as it entered the laundry room. Laughter accompanied this voice, and Effy felt her heart skip a beat. She didn't even have to look up to know who it was. Their voices were familiar enough. That, and Oliver immediately became excited upon seeing them.

"James! Kendall! Carlos!" he shouted, running towards them. The boys looked up, their faces surprised. Oliver jumped around them, too excited to speak. Effy scrutinized the three, noting that Logan wasn't with them. She frowned, turning to face the windows. "Effy! Effy, look! We know them!"

_So much for ignoring them._ Effy thought, sighing as she turned around yet again.

"Hey, Eff…" Kendall greeted. An awkward silence fell between them, and only Oliver seemed to still be happy they were all together. "You're… uh - doing laundry?" Effy nodded, giving him an obvious expression. They _were_ in a laundry room after all.

"How've you been?" Carlos asked, walking toward her. She stepped back, making him pause. The slight hurt that flashed across his face upset her, but she didn't know what to say to them. Answering their questions felt too weird. It brought up the wonder, were they still friends or not? Even she didn't know the answer to that.

"Um… fine." Effy answered, opening her washer to move the clothes around and make sure the soap was circulating well. Closing the lid, she dried her hand on her shirt, seeing James and Kendall heading to the fancy washing machines. "I didn't know you guys did laundry." Carlos smirked, glancing over at his friends. They mumbled something about poker being fixed, taking the clothes to the dryer.

"We lost a poker game to Katie. So now we're on laundry duty." Carlos explained, shrugging. Effy couldn't help but laugh. Though it had been ages since she'd seen Katie, she knew better than to gamble against the ten-year-old. The girl was brilliant. "Do you… do laundry for Dexter now?" Carlos asked the question carefully, clearly not sure if it was okay or not.

"I guess you could say that. It's just clothes. He works enough for us, so I owe him something." Effy replied. She thought it would be difficult to talk about anything, but Carlos somehow made talking as simple as breathing. She found herself happy to have him asking her questions. It felt… nice.

"Dude! Could you help us fold this?" James questioned, holding up a fistful of clothes. He tossed it back onto the table, picking up his favorite red shirt and folding it carefully. Carlos jogged down the short isle, sliding over one of the tables before reaching his friends. Effy casually walked over to them, feeling Oliver behind her. He held up his camera, snapping a quick shot. James' head whipped up, and his pupils almost seemed to dilate when he spotted the camera. "I didn't know you were a photographer, Olli!" Abandoning his clothes, he moved almost too fast for Effy to see, suddenly appearing in front of Oliver.

"He's really good at it, James. Dexter bought him that camera a long time ago." Effy informed him, pushing herself up to sit on one of the unused washers. Oliver lifted his camera, and James immediately began posing. Hearing the clicks continually go off behind her, Effy rolled her eyes. Looking down, she saw what Carlos was folding and giggled. "You still wear those tidy-whiteys?" The dark skinned boy couldn't hide his blush. Kendall laughed, his voice booming.

"They're from my grandma! It's only one pair!" Carlos protested, shoving them under a pile of folded clothes. Kendall laughed again, and Carlos growled, tackling him. The shorts Kendall held flew into the air, and Effy reached out, barely catching them. She chuckled, watching the boys wrestle. Peering over her shoulder, she saw Oliver messing with his camera, and James whirl around. A smirk broke out across his face when he saw his friends, and he shook his head as they pulled themselves up. At that moment, Effy's laundry machine silenced, and she moved back to it, seeing her clothes were washed. Pulling a few of her shirts out, she shook them, unwinding them from the bundles the washer had thrown them into.

"You're style really changed, Effy." Kendall called out from across the room. Effy set down her shirt, shrugging as she placed the clothes in the basket and carried them to the dryer. James, Kendall, and Carlos folded their laundry, but while they did so, they paid attention to what Effy was doing. She tossed her clothes in the dryer, closing the door and depositing three quarters. Trying again, Kendall added, "You're going for a punk look now? Gloves, shorts, band tees?" Pausing, she turned and beckoned Oliver over.

"Go get something from the vending machine in the lobby. Anything you want." Effy whispered, nudging her brother along. Excitedly, he ran from the laundry room, leaving the four alone. "You act like you haven't changed, Kendall." Making eye contact with the blonde, she saw a guilty expression come across his face.

"I didn't mean anything by that. I was just trying to make conversation." he mumbled, his eyes shifting back to his clothes. Kendall knew good and well he was different. His personality had changed with the weather, it seemed. He was still Kendall, just more… glamorous, for lack of a better term. They were all a little more glimmered up. It was just what L.A. did. None of them changed in a serious way. Not even James. "So… how's work?" He knew almost immediately after the question left his lips that it was wrong. Again, Effy paused, throwing a not-so-pleasant look at her old friend. Carlos avoided looking at her, uncomfortable at the memory of seeing her in the strip club. She was quiet for a while; all of them were.

"Is Dexter making you work there?" James suddenly demanded, his tone serious.

"Excuse me?" Effy cried, wheeling around. She stared at James incredulously, and Kendall hit his arm.

"You heard me. Is Dexter making you work there?" James asked again, enunciating each word in his question. Kendall covered his face with one hand, muttering something that sounded like 'idiot'. Carlos finally looked up, clearly doubtful that the situation would end well. He could see it in Effy's eyes. She was offended.

"I happen to like working there, James. There's good money, and I get to dance." Effy replied sourly, her eyes narrowing into slits.

"You've changed much more than we have. The Effy I know, wouldn't solicit herself for money." James stated, his calm tone intimidating.

"Oh, look who learned how to use big boy words! Fuck you, James! I came to L.A. to be a dancer, like I've _always_ wanted to be. You need money to get by in this town, and right now, I'm working on getting as much as I can. Until I get a callback for one of my dancing auditions, my job is what I depend on!" Effy shouted, stepping up to the handsome brunette. Though their height differed by quite an amount, she didn't seem affected. He glared down at her, finally swallowing and turning away.

"Go to hell, Effy." James growled, storming out of the laundry room. He was masking something more than anger in his relatively quiet words, but none of them could tell what it was. Carlos' eyes widened, and he stared after James, even when his friend disappeared from view. Effy remained rooted to the spot, staring down at the floor. Her fists were clenched, and she struggled to breath. Kendall couldn't believe what just happened. It was all too sudden. Whatever was going through James' mind, he didn't know. Something was wrong though.

"Effy-"

"Don't, Kendall. And just so I don't have to say it again, you don't say anything either Carlos. It doesn't matter." Effy declared, still staring down. Once she saw her reflection in the linoleum floor, she quickly looked away. Kendall attempted to say something more, despite Effy's request that he didn't, but Oliver burst into the room. He held two bags of Fruit Smackers, holding one out as he ran to Effy. He tried handing it to her, but she shook her head. "No, thank you, Olli. Give it to Carlos." Understanding something was wrong, Oliver did as he was told, handing the bag of sweets over to Carlos. He accepted them with a small nod and smile, watching Kendall pile the clothes into their basket.

"Come on. We've gotta go." he mumbled, lifting the bin and walking away with Carlos. Hearing the door close behind them, Effy looked up. A heavy sigh escaped her, and she slowly walked towards the window. Peeking outside, she saw all the Palm Woods kids at the pool. They were so happy, and it seemed effortless for them. They weren't even acting. Folding her thin arms over her chest, she let herself become distracted with thoughts. Oliver knew the look on her face quite well. That look meant he was better off leaving her alone.

* * *

Logan waddled down the hall, still dressed as an elderly woman. How no one seemed to know it was him, he couldn't place. Not bothering to stress himself over it, he continued down the hall, stopping once he reached apartment 2J. He opened the door, and upon entering, he heard shouts in the other room. Quietly closing the door behind him, he pulled off the wig, setting it on the counter. As he approached the room he shared with the boys, he shrugged out of the dress, leaving him in his undershirt and boxer shorts. Logan didn't want to enter the room just yet. He wanted to hear what was going on first. Throwing the dress on the couch, he crept towards the door, pressing his ear against it. Kendall was the one yelling.

"You're such an egotistical tool sometimes! Why would you say that to her? We were trying to be peaceful, in case you didn't notice!" he scolded. Logan felt his heart sink when he realized who they had to be talking about. He prayed he was wrong, but he never was.

"Effy's been nothing but a huge bitch to us!" James retorted angrily, and Logan could hear a thump against wall. Someone had thrown something. Knowing it was time to intervene, he opened the door and poked his head in. Carlos met his gaze first, and his face said it all. There had been a fallout. "Logan! You better take my side on this one. If anything, you should be the angriest! You did so fucking much for her when she was… Damn it, she's acting like a brat!" Logan shook his head, stepping into the room and leaning against the door. James threw his hands up, disbelieving of the whole situation. None of his friends were with him!

"She doesn't have much reason to treat us nicely anymore." Carlos sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"As much help as we tried to give her, we still left without a word." Logan reminded them all. James pulled at his hair, for the first time not caring if it got messy.

"You know what, we've said that enough. We've reminded ourselves that we called, we tried to find her when we were dumped back in Sherwood, and we even thought about why _she_ didn't call _us_. That's it! I've had it! Why don't we just go with what she wants? Let's leave her alone! Let's finally bury the Goddamn hatchet, and move on!" he cried, plopping back on the bed. All of the boys could see it now. Something was bothering James. It went much further than Effy simply being so cold to them. He could feel their eyes burning into him, and he covered his face.

"Are you mad because I spent so much time blaming myself over this?" Logan finally asked, trying to pry out the answer. James scoffed, sitting up. His eyes were wet.

"And _I'm_ egotistical? Fuck me, no, Logan! No, that's not why I'm mad!" James growled, swallowing the lump in his throat. "You weren't the only one that spent the past few months torturing yourself over her! You just don't get it, do you? _I_ left her too! Just like you! I knew what she was struggling with, and I didn't stay with her. I abandoned her, just like I abandoned my mom. Remember that?" At last the truth came out. James felt his heart rapidly pound against his chest, and it ached at the thought of his mother. He hadn't heard from her since he was eleven.

After overcoming her eating disorder (at least as far as James and his father knew), the damage it inflicted on the family resulted in her filing for divorce. She wanted to go back to New Jersey. She wanted James to go with her, but he said no. He wanted to stay with his friends. He didn't realize how serious his mother was about leaving. Not until he watched her car speed away. From that point on, not a day had gone by that he didn't wonder if she deserted them, or if he deserted her. Thinking about the look in her eyes when he said he wouldn't go broke his heart, and the situation with Effy had been too similar for his liking. It felt like a sign; it was almost as if some force was telling him he'd made a mistake with his mother, and he failed in his chance to redeem himself. He wasn't as vain as he seemed to be. In fact, the vanity hadn't come about until his mother left. She'd always prided herself in her looks, even when she was ill, and he picked up on it in her absence.

"James…" Carlos reached out, placing his hand on his friends' shoulder. Kendall's hand rested on James' other shoulder. "Dude, you can't blame yourself for this. When we said that to Logan, we meant it for all of us." A single tear rolled down James' cheek, and he looked away. He had too much to feel, and he was scared. He was miserable.

"I can't stand seeing her here… and seeing how she's living. It just feels like my fault." James admitted, his voice low. Logan knew where he was coming from. He felt the same guilt.

"Well, it shouldn't. Effy let us know she chose that path for herself." Kendall stated boldly, staring at all of his friends. He couldn't let this continue. They were falling apart. "She decided to come here and work her way up to being the dancer she's always wanted to be. It's her choice. While we may not approve, we lost all right for that when we left her. And yes, we _all_ left her. The four of us, equally. She doesn't want to bother with us, or at least it looks that way. We can't force her to. If she wants to try to be friends, she'll do it on her terms. But, we can't keep being such ass-hats, otherwise she'll never come around. We… We've gotta move on, guys. No more guilt. We'll give her a sincere apology one more time, as a team, and then that's it. Agreed?" The boys were silent after Kendall's speech, but after a moment, they all nodded.

He was right. It _was _time to move on.


	13. Chapter 16: Set Fire to the Third Bar

Chapter 16: Set Fire to the Third Bar

"Please? One bite? We're gonna make progress whether you do it willingly or not."

Logan's expression made Effy laugh. His head was tilted to the side, his eyes bugged out, and his lips were a thin line. She peeked up at him once more, and seeing his expression hadn't changed, she broke out in another fit of giggles.

_When their kiss lasted longer than a few seconds, Kendall, James, Carlos, and Guitar Dude avoided looking at the couple, and awkwardly meandered away. Logan and Effy kissed in the hall for a long while, finally breaking apart when they needed a breath of air. Still within close proximity, the two held each other, not wanting to let go. So much time had passed waiting for this moment - not just the five months, but rather, a year. Maybe two. Maybe even three. Neither of them knew when it began. Neither of them knew whose heart skipped a beat first, or whose day was made better by the others' presence first. It didn't matter, because the moment they were in now was just right._

"_I'm so sorry, Effy. We all are, but I… I'm so, so sorry." Logan breathed, kissing the top of Effy's head. She closed her eyes, nuzzling her cheek against the warmth of his chest. Inhaling the scent of his cologne calmed her, and hearing his heart beating brought back the memories of being with him in Sherwood. "You had every right to hate me. I'm sorry, Eff. So fucking sorry." That was the first time she heard him swear._

"_What happened to Logan Mitchell never swearing?" Effy whispered, gazing up. She heard Logan chuckle, and he kissed the top of her head again. "Don't be sorry." He pulled his head back, staring down at her._

"_You're not gonna forgive me?" he questioned, his lips faintly curling upwards._

"_I kissed you, didn't I?" Effy answered. She was feeling more real than she'd felt in a long time. She felt like Effy again. Logan leaned his head down, his lips brushing against hers. "Come inside. It's better than standing out here all night." Though her words hinted at a physical interaction, Logan knew what she meant. She wanted to be alone with him the way they had been their last few days together in Sherwood. It was more like weeks, but the specifics didn't matter._

_Inside the apartment, Logan gave a small wave to Oliver before he was directed to Effy's room. Nothing had changed since he'd broken in with the boys. The bed was still against the sliding glass door that led to the balcony, and there were still stains in the carpet. He tensed when he saw the pink, and Effy didn't fail to notice. She paused, following his gaze. Though she knew what the stains were, she had to wonder why Logan froze up the way he did. Effy knew he'd been somewhat of a neat-freak, but something about this felt different. She could just see it in his eyes. That was one thing Logan hated about Effy. She could see straight through him most of the time - mainly when he didn't want to be seen through._

"_When the guys and I first saw Oliver here, we thought he was being held hostage." Logan admitted, giving Effy a sheepish grin. She chuckled, crossing her arms. "We broke in… through the vents. We didn't really look through anything. I just saw contacts in the bathroom, and… needles. Then we escaped through the window, because someone was coming through the front door." Effy's eyes widened. Logan couldn't tell if she was angry or just shocked. He flinched when she stepped towards him, making her pause. Grinning, she shook her head._

"_I'm surprised that's all you found. I would've thought James would look for panties." Effy joked. Logan sighed with relief. She wasn't mad - at least not that he could tell. He could've have kept the secret from her anyway, so it was better he got it out soon. The last thing he wanted between them was secrets._

_Effy slid the door open, letting in a slightly warm breeze. It was a nice, comforting temperature. Laying down on the bed, she faced the door, staring up at the sky. The moon was full; it was one of the rare nights where it was a golden-yellow, and larger than it normally would get. She felt the bed move behind her, and this time, she didn't feel uncomfortable. Logan placed his hand on her shoulder, and Effy lifted her head to rest it on his lap. His fingers stroked her hair for a while, and they were silent, staring at the sky._

"_Remember when you tried to get me interested in astronomy?" Effy asked, her eyes closed. Logan laughed and nodded._

"_All you cared about was the moon. Your favorite picture in my book - this looks almost exactly like it." he replied, watching Effy's lips stretch up in a smile. Her eyes remained closed, and Logan continued to observe her. She was frail, and she looked weak. Unhealthy. Even so, he found himself fascinated by her. He was… aroused, almost. Rubbing his eyes, Logan tried to push those thoughts from his head. He couldn't seem to shake them though. As different as he was from his friends, he couldn't change the natural fact that he was a boy. He was interested in girls, and though he maintained his responsible nature, he couldn't resist the idea of sleeping with Effy. He wouldn't do anything now, of course, and more than likely he wouldn't do anything later. However, his fantasies were out of his control, try as he might to keep them at a minimum. Feeling the heat creeping up his neck, Logan blinked and shook his head. "Oliver told us a few things, about how you guys got here." Logan hoped to get the full story from Effy, but she didn't respond. He glanced down, seeing she was asleep._

_Carefully, Logan maneuvered her off of his lap, reaching over to slide the glass door shut. He kissed Effy's forehead, wrapping one of the thin sheets around her before leaving her room. Oliver was still watching TV on the floor, and when Logan said goodbye, all he did was give a small wave. Kendall, James, and Carlos were playing video games in their room when Logan returned. He didn't have anything to say to them just yet. He wouldn't until he figured a couple things out for himself. That night, he had a dreamless sleep, much to his relief._

"This is really dry chicken, if you want to know my honest opinion." Effy stated, capturing Logan's attention once again. A grin broadened across his face; she was eating without a struggle. He tried to find something she would like, and wouldn't have much reason to object to. A chicken salad was Mrs. Knight's suggestion when he said he needed something tasty, yet low fat. Thinking the meal was for him, she gave him the idea with a confused stare. Effy stabbed at the lettuce and chicken with her fork, popping it into her mouth and chewing slowly.

"I'll work on that next time. I'll do whatever you want - just keep eating." Logan responded, sounding relieved. Effy paused mid-chew, giving him a look that said he was pushing his luck. She still hadn't overcome her reluctance of food, and eating this salad didn't mean all that much. Her last, proper meal was two days ago, and she was hungry. Having Logan in her life as a positive aspect again proved to be a catalyst that got her eating with less difficulty. "Sorry." he mumbled, running his hand over hers. She took another bite of the salad, washing down the food with the fruit water Logan had brought for her.

While Effy finished eating the small salad, Logan saw James, Carlos, and Kendall heading their way. The boys had taken to a video game competition to solve the problem of who would get the last piece of Mrs. Knight's once-a-year chocolate cake. Perhaps the hype stemmed from the fact that she only made the treat once a year, or maybe the cake was actually that delicious. Logan's opinion of it wasn't too different from any other cake; it was tasty, and a nice treat to have. The rest of the boys, however, clearly loved to make it out to be a fairly big deal. Seeing their glum expressions now let Logan know what he had figured out when he brought Effy her salad. Katie had been indulging on a piece of cake with her boyfriend, and Logan (as always) put two and two together, figuring out she had taken the final piece.

"Holy hell, you're eating!" James shouted upon seeing the bowl in front of Effy. She paused, mid-sip, and set down her water. Logan shot a warning glare at his absent-minded friend, and James quickly looked down. Kendall cleared his throat, taking one of the empty seats across from Logan and Effy.

"So, what's up?" he asked casually, clasping his hands together. Kendall had the most cheer out of the three boys, giving away that he had won the competition. Though, he still failed to get to the cake first. Imagining their expressions when they saw the dessert was gone, Logan smirked. "What's so funny, Logie?" Shaking his head, Logan pointed over to Katie and her boyfriend. There was still a bite of the chocolate cake left. Seeing this, the boys' mouths fell open. Effy, having been explained the situation when Logan brought the salad, laughed at their dumbfounded expressions. She set her fork down in the empty bowl, reaching for her strawberry fruit water again. Her eyes landed on Carlos, who sat adjacent to her. In his hands was a magazine, opened to the center spread.

"What's that?" Effy asked, regaining Carlos' attention and pointing to the magazine. Though his skin was dark enough to hide his occasional blush, Effy could see the hint of pink on his face. All of the boys seemed interested by this question, having just now noticed that Carlos was still looking through a magazine he'd gotten over a week ago. Nothing ever really held his attention that long. He fidgeted, and James swiped the magazine from his hands. Carlos protested, but James swiftly leaped out of his chair, moving to the other side of the table.

"Ooh la la! Is she cute, or what?" he demanded loudly, holding out the magazine for everyone to see. Carlos reached for it, but James extended his hand, pushing his friend back down to his seat. "Wet dream, much?" He chuckled, playfully teasing his friend. Kendall shot James a disapproving stare, signaling he needed to take things down a notch. Rolling his eyes, James tossed the magazine onto the table. Logan slid it towards himself and Effy, taking a better look at the photo. Effy read the short blurbs about the girl, finding her to be quite attractive. She was a Brazilian soccer player, and was voted one of the top athletes of the year.

"Who is she, Carlos?" Effy asked, pushing the magazine back to him. Hearing the genuine curiosity in her voice, Carlos became lively once again. He glanced at the photo of the girl, grinning.

"She's the fiercest soccer player I've seen in the girls' league. She's really good. Her name is Norah. That's cute isn't it?" he ended his answer with a rhetorical question, breaking off into a daydream. Effy smiled, seeing his softer side for the first time since they'd been together in Sherwood. "Norah Alanis Jimenez. It's one of the cutest names I've ever heard!" James tsked, crossing his arms and shaking his head. Ignoring him, Kendall took another look at the picture.

"I thought you didn't like girls with short hair." he stated, looking up at his friend. Carlos shrugged.

"I don't, but I make exceptions for Norah." he replied, still smiling. Effy had the urge to say 'aw' or something along the lines, but bit her lip to hold it all back. It was adorable to see Carlos having a crush on someone. James leaned forward, scooting his chair in.

"Short hair on a girl is kind of a turn-off, don't you think? I mean, I can handle shoulder-length, and maybe an inch shorter, but not… like, dyke-ish, you know?" he admitted, throwing his opinion out. Kendall laughed in response, causing James to frown. "What? I'm being honest. You know you agree!" Still, Kendall shook with laughter. His friend could be so stupidly superficial at times; it was laughable to a fault.

"I guess you're right, in a small way. I don't find myself attracted to girls with that haircut." Logan sighed, giving James _some_ help. If no one sided with him at least once, he tended to whine obnoxiously. Beside him, Effy stood, collecting her trash. He looked up to her, seeing her face was blank. He couldn't tell if something was wrong or if she was simply bored. Perhaps she was tired. Her eyes were still rimmed with dark circles. "Effy? You okay?" She nodded, discarding the plastic bowl, fork, and bottle into the nearest garbage can.

"Yeah, yeah. I just remembered I promised to look through Oliver's photography projects." Effy stated. From her tone, Logan could tell something was wrong. Seeing he was about to question her, Effy added, "It's been a while since I made good on a promise to him. You know… because of everything." She met Logan's gaze, and he nodded. With that, she left him with the boys. Though he understood, at the same time, he didn't know what she meant by 'everything'. She never bothered to give him the entire story. He had only tried getting it out of her once, but he figured it would be something she'd just talk about. Since it still hadn't happened, he knew it was just another obstacle he would have to help her overcome. Though, at the moment, he was facing something that he needed to discuss with the boys. He was slightly grateful Effy had left. The boys watched him stare at the spot Effy had been in, noticing his expression. He was thinking hard about something.

"Logie? Yo! Logan?" Kendall snapped his fingers in front of Logan's face, pulling him from his thoughts. Carlos rolled up his magazine, tucking it in his pocket and turning his full attention to Logan. James could already see the type of frustration on his face, though. He had felt it once before. It was sexual frustration. However, James just couldn't quite believe that was it. Logan feeling sexually frustrated? That was a laughable concept! Kendall set his feet on the edge of the table, eyeing his brunette friend suspiciously. "What's up?" Logan hesitated, feeling his friends' eyes burning into him. He shook his head, standing up. The boys copied him, and he knew he wasn't going to get away.

"Can we talk about this somewhere… not so public?" Logan begged, his voice whiney. The boys surrounded Logan, as to make sure he wouldn't try to escape, and Kendall motioned for him to lead the way. Sighing, Logan walked with them back to their apartment. Mrs. Knight was spending more and more time out of the house due to her new boyfriend. They had only recently begun dating, but Kendall and Katie were immediately approving. As long as their mother was happy, they were happy. Falling onto the couch, Logan covered his face with his hands, groaning.

"This is such teen angst, Logie! You've finally started growing a pair!" James exclaimed, bouncing on his heels, clearly excited. Kendall stared at him incredulously, wishing his friend could take things seriously. Carlos snickered, trying to hide it behind coughs. Before Kendall or Logan could object to his statement, James continued. "You've been gushing with it since we found out Effy was here. I know feelings, Logan! I'm like an expert."

"Says the boy who made Annie Thomas cry because he had to point out she gained weight!" Kendall scoffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Carlos doubled over with laughter, remembering that particular situation. "You understand feelings about as much as you understand physics, dude." Narrowing his eyes, James took a step towards the blonde.

"Okay, fine! Maybe not _all_ feelings, but angst. I know about that!" he shouted. Logan groaned again, having known his friends would get sidetracked. He didn't necessarily mind, but he did need someone to give him some advice. He never could work under pressure, and the predicament he found himself in wouldn't let him think. All he could get into his mind were daydreams and fantasies he knew he could never act on. "Earth to Logan? Will you _please_ just fill us in? What's going on?" Gulping, Logan pushed himself up, staring at his friends before sliding back down. He stared up at the ceiling, massaging his temples.

"It's about Effy." Logan finally began. The boys were quiet, waiting for him to go on. "When we sang for her, a couple nights ago, you guys remember I stayed with her for a while?" Abruptly, James leaped up, his face full of excitement.

"You totally shagged her, didn't you? Ha ha! Not only does our little Logie have some balls now, but he's used 'em!" James squealed, holding up his fist to Logan, expecting him to give a victorious pound. Kendall rubbed his forehead, fighting the urge to laugh at his idiotic friend. When Logan made no motion to react to James' enthusiasm, it gradually faded. His face fell, and he huffed, sitting down on the other side of his friends.

"I want to. That's the problem." Logan sighed, covering his eyes as if watching a horror film.

Logan wanted to keep his desire secret for this very reason! It was too awkward to talk about, James would go insane, and who knew what Kendall or Carlos would say! On the other hand, he couldn't have his mind clouded with these thoughts and no way to force them out. Effy was one of the most important things in his life now, and he couldn't mess anything up with her again. She needed him to be at his strongest, that way she could heal easier. He wasn't going to add anything unnecessary to whatever else was on her mind. His intentions from the beginning of her mental deterioration had been strictly to help her; he refused to let failure be an option.

"And? I don't see a problem he-"

"James, knock it off! Be serious, for one Goddamn minute! Please?" Kendall interrupted James, giving him a disapproving glare. James rolled his eyes, still bearing the hint of a small grin. He couldn't bring himself to be serious, because he didn't believe Logan was telling the truth. He'd known his genius friend since preschool, and this didn't sound like him at all. Kendall, on the other hand, took Logan seriously. He was slowly beginning to realize that his friend meant everything he said, and was having immense internal conflict.

"I'm confused, Logan. I thought you didn't… you know, approve of, uh, _doing it_ before marriage." Carlos spoke up, scratching his head. Logan sighed heavily, counting the small lines in the ceiling. He knew the impression he'd given off, and he _did_ believe in abstinence, but this was something out of his control. Whatever ruled James' mind was seeping into his, and Logan could now understand some of James' reasoning for his promiscuity - perhaps not all of it, but at least some.

"I- I don't. I mean- I don't know, Carlos! I don't know! I can't think right now, if you haven't noticed!" Logan exclaimed, waving his hands around for emphasis. Squeezing his eyes shut, he pressed his palms against his forehead, forcing himself to clear his mind. All he had to do was get his simple problem across to the boys, and that was it.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting sex, Logan. I know you're against it and all that shit, but seriously, it's normal to want a night of _la petite mort_." James stated, trying to be sincere. Kendall once again scoffed.

"You got that from a Chucky movie." he pointed out, a smirk replacing his frown. Seeing Logan had resumed rubbing his temples, Kendall knew he was growing impatient with them. It was time to stop goofing off, and start getting to the matter at hand. "What's holding you back, Logie? You care about Effy, right? You respect her?" Logan stared at Kendall for a long moment, sitting up and nodding. Before he could say anything though, Kendall continued. "Then what's wrong with trying to make things go further? You've kissed her! You can let the situation come up again, and see how far Eff is willing to let things go. Then you'll know, you know?" James stood up, disappearing into their room while Logan contemplated what his blonde, practical friend had said.

"Aren't you gonna be nervous, dude?" Carlos asked, taking the initiative to ask one of the more awkward questions. He never usually thought about the words that left his mouth, but this question seemed to have a little consideration behind it. "You get nervous when we put hot chocolate in the microwave for more than two minutes. How're you gonna do… you know, _it_?" He said 'it' as if what he was referring to was an illegal topic. James returned, tossing a small square package into Logan's lap.

"I keep some in our sock drawer. I'm willing to share!" he offered, grinning from ear to ear once again. Logan's eye twitched at the sight of the condom on his lap, and he quickly pushed it off. "Dude, don't think you can just get by with the pull-out method. I swear, if I had a nickel for every pregnancy scare…" Logan stared at his friend, horrified. Kendall picked up the condom, handing it back to Logan.

"I never thought I'd have the opportunity to say this, but James is right. If you decide to go through with this, you'll need one." he agreed, nodding. Logan looked to Carlos, who was still waiting for an answer to his question. Honestly, Logan didn't know the answer. How _was_ he going to go through with any sort of physical intimacy with Effy? How could he know she was ready? He didn't want to risk scaring her and throwing her into a state of unrest.

"I don't know what I'm going to do! I'm a wreck just thinking about this, and it goes against every belief I ever formed for myself! How do I _not_ pressure Effy into anything? James-" Logan cut himself off, pushing his hair back. He turned to Kendall, his expression fraught. "Kendall, how did you- I mean with Jo-"

"It's like you guys are purposely trying to make me feel bad!" James cried, interrupting Logan. He kicked off of the ground, wheeling around in the revolving chair he sat upon. "You guys should get that it wasn't always a picnic! My first time was pretty lame, if you ask me. I had no idea what I was doing, so there was all this hype, and then it just happened, and I was kinda disappointed. Don't make it a big deal, Logie. Focus more on the fact that you're with Effy. Enjoy that, otherwise it'll mean jack-shit." For once, James made sense. He knew what he was talking about, and the boys had to agree.

"So… just wing it?" Carlos questioned, snickering.

"That sounds like really sorry advice, James, but I think it's all we've got." Kendall interjected, leaning back in his chair. Logan had no help. He didn't expect the boys to know how to control their urges, but he also _couldn't_ expect them to read his mind. What they were saying made a good argument, however. He contemplated what they'd said, moving the condom from one hand to the other. Pushing himself up, Logan walked passed his friends to the door.

"I need some air." Logan stated bluntly, before any of his friends could ask questions. From his tone, they could tell he wanted to be alone.

Needing a breath of fresh air was the truth, but Logan didn't go outside. Instead, he turned to the elevator, pocketing the condom. Waiting to reach his destination, he shoved his hands into his pockets, his mind wandering to what he would say to Effy. He couldn't just kiss her upon seeing her. He had to explain himself, and wait for her response. If she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. There wasn't a problem with that. He could wait for her, and he had to make that clear. Hearing the elevator beep, Logan left the elevators once the doors slid open, and he made his way to Effy's room. The walk didn't take as long as he hoped, and before he knew it, he was knocking on her door. He hadn't decided what to say.

"Logan? What are you doing here?" Effy asked. She usually received some notice from him when they parted ways, telling her that he would be coming to see her later. He was polite like that naturally, and she was used to it by now. Seeing him here unexpectedly pushed her to think something was wrong. His conflicted expression only troubled her further. "Are you alright?" Moving aside so he could come in, Effy let him take her hand as she closed the door. Oliver was in his room, playing with his camera. He heard the door opening and closing, but he knew better than to peek his head out. Effy had been in an outlandish mood for the past hour, and he had grown accustomed to dealing with it. He knew it was better to let her come to him first.

Seeing Logan pause, thinking about what he wanted to do, Effy tugged on his hand and led him back to her room. It was obvious to her that he wanted to talk, and the type of talk he wanted needed privacy. He had been easy to read when they grew up together in Sherwood, and Effy was relieved to see it was one thing that hadn't changed. Logan watched her close and lock the door, standing awkwardly in the center of the room. She leaned against the door, her hands behind her back. Neither of them made eye contact, and both of them waited for the other to begin the talk. Gauche tension filled the air. Finally, Logan cleared his throat.

"You… wanna sit down?" he suggested, taking a spot at the edge of the bed. Effy hesitantly sat beside him, her gaze drifting up to meet his. She was quiet, waiting for him to explain what brought him to her apartment. The words forced their way out of his mouth. "I l- love you." It was a feeble beginning, and Effy remained quiet. She knew as well as he did that wasn't what he meant to say. "I don't want you to feel any pressure, or any obligations, or- Well, I mean… Effy, I want to ha-have, uh- I want to… Eff, I've been thinking a lot about…" Logan couldn't bring himself to finish his sentences.

Effy leaned over, connecting her lips to Logan's. Only a few seconds later, she pulled away, and he gulped. He had the urge to bring her back to him, but instead he placed his hands on his knees. Effy watched his reaction, feeling her stomach fluttering with nerves. She understood from the look in his eyes what he wanted. What she couldn't come to terms with was how she felt about the realization. Logan didn't look at all ready, and Effy couldn't doubt that she looked similar. However, he truly wanted her in a physically romantic way. She couldn't assume she didn't want that either. Effy didn't know what she wanted.

"If you don't want to do… _that_, it's okay. I'm not asking you to. I- I just wanted to tell you that I thought about it." Logan admitted, staring at his girlfriend. Effy met his stare again, nodding. She slanted forward, brushing her lips against his. His eyes closed when he kissed her, and when he opened them, he saw that she was waiting for him to speak. "Does that mean… yes?" He didn't know what else to say. Effy thought for a moment, then nodded. Gulping again, Logan's hands shook as he reached for hers, taking the initiative to kiss her first. When they parted, their gazes wandered away from each other. Logan felt his palms beginning to sweat.

"So… we do the undressing part now." Effy whispered, still looking away. It wasn't a question. It was a fact. Logan shrugged and nodded simply, stealing a quick glance at her. Shakily, he kissed her forehead, kicking off his shoes and letting his hand fall into place on her waist. She jerked away slightly at the feel of his hand, and he quickly tugged it away in response. "S-sorry. I… I, um, guess I'll go first?"

Effy looked a Logan for a moment, closing her eyes as she pulled off her shorts and dropped them over the bed. She folded her legs, watching Logan expectantly. He felt his mouth dry, and stood up, unfastening his belt and pulling of his jeans, leaving them beside Effy's shorts. He returned to his spot on the bed, motioning for her to take her turn. She faltered for only a moment, then took a deep breath while pulling her shirt over her head. Her arms wrapped around her stomach, and she tried to cover it so Logan couldn't see. He didn't notice though; once she had discarded her shirt, he began unbuttoning his flannel, shrugging out of it and letting it fall to the floor. All he wore now was his boxers, while she wore a camisole and bikini pants.

Making eye contact, Effy and Logan slowly inclined towards each other, kissing nervously. Reaching his hands out, Logan held Effy's waist carefully, dragging her closer to him. Her skin was fairly cool, in contrast to his warmth. His breath caught in his throat as her small hands curled around his shoulder and neck. Logan lowered Effy, and hovered over her, feeling his groin stinging. Effy draped her arms around his neck and pulled him down, and she felt his heartbeat against her own chest. Rolling onto his back, Logan lifted Effy, refusing to break their kiss. His hands froze when he realized her camisole had risen, and he felt the bare skin higher on her back.

"Effy?" Logan breathed, sliding his hands out from under her camisole. Her kisses had remained at the same level of passivity as his, not daring to go any further. He was fine where they were, and suddenly, he felt it was enough. He wanted to stop it before it was too much, and once he registered this, he realized Effy was doing the same. She stared down at him, her breath still slightly uneven. "We can wait for… you know, sex…" Logan wasn't ready. He could feel it just as easily as he felt the ache in his groin. His desire for Effy wasn't strong enough to let him ignore that he was too anxious to commit the act.

Seeing the smile on Effy's face, Logan knew she agreed. She knew she wasn't ready once her shirt came off. There was the perfect amount of lust for one another between them, but neither felt comfortable beyond the point they had reached. It was progress, being able to be this nude in front of each other, but that was enough for them. Effy was barely passed the discomfort of having Logan see her so vulnerable, and being susceptible to him.

"I'm not ready either." Effy whispered, kissing his forehead. She moved off of him, laying on the bed. Her back faced him, and she stared out of the glass door at the sky. He copied her, holding her against him.

Effy could feel Logan's heartbeat slowing down to its' normal pace, and she smiled.


	14. Chapter 4: Mad World

Chapter 4: Mad World

"_I swear, you should've seen his face! Now that I think back, we really should've taken the camera. Not just for Alec, but for Effy too. Your mom got pictures, right Eff?" James asked, laughter saturating his voice. Effy grinned and shook her head._

"_I doubt it. If she did, I'm keeping the negatives." she replied, stirring her milkshake with her straw. Effy didn't doubt that her mom got pictures somehow, but it had been a week since the dance, and she was hoping to keep the photos a hidden memory. After the dance, the boys walked her home, and immediately she changed into her comfortable flannel. She scrubbed the makeup from her face, nearly scalding her skin with the water. It was nice to be someone else for a night, but it really wasn't her thing. At the dance, Effy decided she was happy with being more of a boyish girl than a girly girl. Being a princess for a night was overrated. That thought made her laugh._

_Just as Logan had said, when Monday came around, the boys disappeared during lunch, reappearing with a few scratches and ruffled clothes. Alec spent the rest of the day in the nurses' office, refusing to tell who beat him up. Clearly the boys gave him the choice of ratting them out and getting mauled again, or taking the beating like a man. Effy shook her head disapprovingly when she saw them, but laughed nonetheless. She had returned to sitting with them, and though the flag girls were nice, they weren't her type of friend._

_Of course, there was some positive outcome from the dance. Oliver had a girlfriend, and Effy quickly grew to like Angela. She was a year younger, but she was still a good friend to have around. It was about time Effy got a female friend anyway; spending too much time with the boys was bound to give off weird impressions, and her mother didn't hesitate to bring that up. Cecile knew that Effy had been friends with the boys since her first day of school, but that didn't change the fact that the boys __**were**__ boys, and they were all teenagers. Effy tried to assure her that nothing was going on between her and any of the boys, but befriending Angela seemed to put her mothers' mind at ease better than just trying to explain her friendship with Logan, James, Carlos, and Kendall._

"_Hey, Eff?" Logan elbowed her, and she shook her head, focusing on him. His eyes darted down to her milkshake, which she'd been stirring since the waitress brought it, and still had yet to drink from it. "Are we gonna have to make you eat again?" Hearing this, Carlos paused before biting into his corn dog, and James and Kendall looked away from their arm wrestling match. Though, Kendall slammed James hand onto the table when he noticed his friend was distracted._

"_No! No… I was thinking." Effy assured him, pulling her straw from the glass and eating the sugary cream off of it. Logan watched her suspiciously, while the rest of the boys went back to what they were doing. Wishing for less attention from Logan, she changed the subject. "So your hockey season is gonna be starting next week?" Immediately, the boys perked up._

_Anything that was related to hockey kept the boys busy talking. Effy watched them each try to talk over each other about the upcoming season, and she made herself look busy, stirring away at her milkshake. With the new experience of heartache, Effy found herself even more reluctant to eat. Before, she ate the regular three meals a day when alone in the kitchen. Now, she skipped one or two meals. Unable to explain it to herself, she chalked it up as something a teenager went through, just as she had with the situation of not wanting to believe her friends over a guy she hardly knew. The only difference was, the latter of the two was an actual teenage thing. Not eating was something more serious, but she kept that thought locked away. She didn't think about it if she didn't have to, and she knew that she definitely didn't want the boys finding out._

"_You're coming to our games, right Effy?" Carlos asked, his eyes eager. She smirked and nodded._

"_Of course I'm going! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?" Effy responded, pushing her melted milkshake away. Logan was about to say something, when Kendall cut him off. He was looking at his phone, and the time seemed to be alarming to him._

"_I've gotta get to work, guys." Kendall announced, sliding out of the booth. Carlos slid out with him._

"_I'm gonna apply for a job there! You can put in a good word, right?" Carlos shouted, a bounce in his step. Logan, James, and Effy snickered at Kendall's expression._

"_Sure…" Kendall agreed, doubtfully. The two left behind a few dollars each to pay for their food, leaving the café. Effy stood up, stretching. She wanted to get out of the café, in all honesty. She couldn't understand why they spent almost all of their free time there, but then again, the boys were always eating. James sighed, clearly bored. He watched his two friends disappear down the street, and suddenly his face lit up._

"_You know what we never got around to doing, Logan?" he asked, eyeing Effy. Her eyebrow raised suspiciously, and her arms folded over her chest. Logan stared at James curiously, not knowing at all what he was talking about. "Remember when we said we'd teach Effy how to skate?" Instantly, her eyes widened. She was horrified of the idea, and she objected to it the first time they mentioned it. When months passed and the boys seemingly forgot about it, she relaxed, but now that James brought it up, she could feel her knees shaking._

"_No, no, no! James! No!" Effy cried, shaking her head and backing away. Logan and James exchanged glances, then quickly scrambled out of their seats. Effy squealed and bolted off, fleeing the café. James chased after her, but Logan paused halfway through the café, running back to leave the rest of the money to pay the check. Effy had a decent head-start, but the boys were faster. Soon enough, they were just feet away from her. She rounded a corner, cutting through an alleyway, only to be stopped by a gate. Turning, she saw the two boys. She was stuck._

"_Come on Eff, just one try? If you don't like it, we won't ever make you do it again." James offered, holding out his hand. Effy shook her head, her back pressed against the fence. The boys took a few steps closer to her. "Please? We'll… Oh! We'll practice dancing with you if you don't like it." Effy paused, and Logan jerked his head to look at James. His expression clearly said, 'What do you mean __**we**__?'. She straightened up, contemplating the deal. For the longest time, she begged the boys to try out dancing, but they always came up with an excuse not to._

"_You're serious?" Effy demanded, uncrossing her arms. James nodded. Biting her lip, she finally sighed and took his hand. Though Logan clearly wasn't enthused about the idea of having to dance, he had to admit he was eager to teach Effy what he knew about skating. The trio walked down the streets, making a stop at the boys' houses to get their skates. When Logan exited with his, he had another pair with him._

"_Here, these are my moms'. They should fit you." he stated, handing her the skates. Effy gave him a sheepish smile as a thanks, and they continued towards the skating rink. Rather, that's where Effy __**thought**__ they were going. When she aimed to walk into the sports center, the boys took her arms and turned her. "We're heading somewhere else. It's better." Logan's tone was full of certainty, and Effy decided to go with it. They knew more about these things than she did._

_Logan and James led Effy down one of the few roads in town that no one ever seemed to travel by, and the further they walked down it, the more it became dirt instead of pavement. Snow covered trees surrounded the area, as well as knee-high grass. Effy was about to question the boys, when she saw ahead of them. The grass gradually became shorter, until it finally disappeared, marking the beginning of the ice. More leafless trees stood, scattered around a frozen lake. The ice appeared to be cared for, and she had a suspicion that her friends were the reason for that._

"_Get your skates on, and be careful. It gets slippery a few feet ahead." Logan warned, stopping to slip on his skates. James was doing the same, tying a strong knot in his. Effy carefully slipped hers on, finding they were indeed a nice fit. She tied them up, and suddenly felt scared. She didn't know what to do now! Her feet were immobilized by the skates and, with the fear of falling, she was too far from the ice for her liking. Logan and James were already on the ice by the time she had got the skates on, so she missed seeing what they did to make it so far out._

"_Guys?" Effy called out, trying her best to keep her balance. James laughed, shaking his head as if he were watching a small child do something wrong. Logan skated back to her, minding the snow as he held out his hand._

"_Just move forward, okay? Don't stress, just act like you're walking." he commanded, inching towards Effy. She hesitantly did as he said, feeling herself wobble at first. Immediately, Logan took her hand and pulled her forward onto the ice. She slid, having the nauseating sensation that she was going to fall, but Logan kept her standing. James skated towards them, skidding to a stop just a foot in front of Effy. She gave him a threatening glare, but she was powerless on the ice. She couldn't even stand on her own!_

"_Chillax, Eff!" James shouted, grinning. He pulled his lucky comb from his pocket, running it through a lock of her hair. "There, now you've got some luck. Just skate!" With that, he turned, racing off in the opposite direction. He was showing off what he could do, much to Effy's annoyance. She gripped Logan's hand tightly, making sure he wouldn't let go._

"_I really don't want to do this anymore!" Effy stated rigidly, still trying to keep her balance. Logan chuckled, moving forward. He slowly led her further onto the ice, and the further out they got, the more stiff she became. "Logan!" The fear in her voice was clear, but Logan continued to move her forward. Her grip on his hand tightened more, and she shouted again, but he still led her around the ice._

"_Relax, Effy. It's okay, alright?" Logan whispered, patting her back. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, loosening up as she was taken around in a small circle on the ice. James was still performing his own little tricks around them, and slowly, Effy was growing less afraid of the ice. "You wanna try on your own?" Effy's grip on Logan's hand wasn't so strong anymore, but she tensed just slightly at his question. For a few minutes more, he skated with her near the corners of the ice._

"_Just for a minute." Effy finally answered, hesitantly letting go of his hand. Logan followed closely behind her as she skated in a straight line down the lake, and James erupted in applause. She laughed, carefully turning and skating towards him. Logan let a little more distance space them, and Effy picked up speed. Quickly she caught the hang of skating, and when she circled James, he clapped again for her. "Come on James, race me." she challenged, grinning. James chuckled, crossing his arms. Before Effy could blink, he bolted off. Almost loosing her balance, Effy corrected her stance, laughing as she skated after James. They skated further out onto the lake, and just before reaching a point too far from Logan, James skidded to a halt and turned sharply, skating back to his friend._

"_James, WAIT!" Logan shouted, his hands pulling at his hair when his friend didn't realize what was happening. Effy didn't know how to __**stop**__. She spun around, watching after James, but when she spun, her vision lost its' focus. She was abruptly dizzy. Shaking her head, she tried to refocus, but the small dizziness and fatigue she'd felt since arriving suddenly became big. Beneath her, she heard a stomach-curling crack, and she could hear Logan and James shouting for her. Their words were just noise though. She couldn't make out what they were saying, and her vision was still blurry. "EFFY!"_

_Everything around Effy seemed to be spinning. The cracks beneath her feet grew louder, and before she could realize what was going on, she fell through the ice. Thousands of icy pricks stabbed at her skin, and water filled her mouth as she attempted to scream. She was a lousy swimmer to begin with, and the panic that waved over her didn't help. Her mind went blank, and her lungs burned for air. Effy could feel herself sinking, but the worst part was the stinging of the freezing water. The ice that had broken under her cut at her ankles as she fell, and the blood came out in smoky lines around her. Trying to swim to the surface, Effy found herself moving sideways instead of up, and the light from the hole she fell through was becoming farther away from her. Again, her mind was taken back to the pain of her lungs, and her need for a breath of air. Different types of pain were fighting for her attention, and after another second of mortifying fear, she found herself sinking. Everything was losing its' color, and fading to black._

_Above Effy, Logan and James both rapidly skated towards the thin ice, minding it when it cracked beneath them. The bubbles that signified Effy's presence slowly disappeared, and Logan's eyes widened. Without thinking anything through, he skated towards the hole, breaking the ice around it. He jumped into the chilled water, frantically searching around for Effy. James was shouting out for him, but Logan ignored him, desperately looking for any sign of his friend. Suddenly, he saw a few bubbles, and quickly followed them. Dark as it was further down in the water, he could make out the shape of a hand. Eyes widening, he reached out for it, finding a strength he never expected to have as he pulled Effy back into the light. He wrapped his arm around her waist, swimming to the surface with her. Gasping for breath once his head broke out of the water, he lifted Effy, handing her to James. Swiftly, James skated away from the ice with her in his arms, and Logan pulled himself out of the water, skating after James. They stopped once they reached the snow, and Logan tugged off his skates, taking Effy from James' arms so he could remove his._

"_Come on, Effy…" Logan muttered, setting her down on the ground. Her lips were a dark shade, and her skin was paler than usual. Hastily, he began compressions on her chest, pinching her nose and breathing into her mouth after a few compressions. He worked on her as best as he could for five minutes, and in the middle of compressions, Effy coughed up water. Logan froze, his eyes wide as he watched her cough. Once the water was out, her eyes cracked open. A wave of relief washed over him, and Logan pulled Effy up, wrapping his arms around her._

"_Don't fucking scare us like that, Eff!" James cried, kneeling down to be eye level with her. She stared at them weakly, her bottom lip quivering. Her whole body was shaking violently._

"_James, grab the skates. We're taking her back to my house." Logan ordered, lifting Effy up. His house was the closest, and as soon as he was standing, he ran off. The color hadn't returned to Effy's face, and her lips were still a bizarre shade of blue. He ran faster than he had before, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Effy's eyes were only half open, and she seemed to be wanting to drift off to sleep. However, she was shaken constantly as Logan ran with her, preventing her from closing her eyes for more than a second or two. In less than ten minutes, Logan was outside of his house, clumsily pulling his key from his pocket. James was only a couple yards behind him, panting when he finally caught up to his friends. "Mom? Dad?" There was no response._

"_I didn't see their cars in the driveway." James stated, still standing in the doorway. He set the skates down outside on the porch, watching Logan as he set Effy down on the couch. "Dude, chill out."_

"_Don't tell me to chill out! Look at her! She's freezing! Maybe we should take her to-"_

"_DUDE!" James yelled, slapping his friend. Logan rubbed his cheek where James hit him, staring at him disbelievingly. "Go sit down with Effy, and I'll bring you __**both**__ towels. In case you haven't noticed, you're in no better shape than she is." James turned and jogged up the stairs, and now that Logan thought about it, he realized James was right. His nose and fingers were numb, and the rest of his body ached from the cold. His teeth had been chattering when he wasn't talking, and he was actually quite frozen. Rubbing his arms, he looked to Effy, seeing she was dozing off._

"_No! Effy! Eff? Stay awake. I need you to warm up before I let you sleep." Logan breathed, tapping the side of her face to keep her focused. She was still shaking, and thankfully James returned at that moment with towels and one of Logan's comforters. James handed Logan a towel, then draped the other around Effy, as well as the thick comforter. "Keep her awake. I'm gonna make her some soup."_

_Logan's eyes lingered on Effy for a moment longer before he tore himself away from the scene, heading to the kitchen. He searched through the pantry, finding a can of chicken noodle soup. As fast as his hands would allow, he opened the can, poured the soup into a bowl, and heated it in the microwave. Grabbing one of the dishtowels and a spoon, he used the protective cloth to carry the boiling soup out to Effy. Carefully, he sat beside her. She didn't appear to be drowsy anymore, but instead wore an intimidating expression. Her eyes were narrowed at the sight of the soup. Logan tried to hand it to her, but she shook her head. Underneath the towel and comforter, he heard the muffled sound of her stomach growling. A realization hit him, and he understood why she fainted on the ice._

"_Effy, how long has it been since you've eaten anything?" Logan demanded, frowning. Effy shifted around uncomfortably, and James watched her. "Effy. Answer me." Logan's voice was firm, and he set the soup down on the coffee table._

"_I ate yesterday." Effy replied softly, still avoiding his eyes. She stared straight at the soup, almost glaring at it. Again her stomach growled, but she made no motion to reach for it._

"_When? How many times?" Logan questioned, his eyes drilling into her head. James was suddenly concerned now as well. If Effy was starving herself to the point where it made her faint, it was becoming more serious. He glanced at Logan, giving him a look that suggested perhaps they __**should**__ go to the hospital, but his friend wouldn't take his focus away from Effy. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, she was looking toward Logan._

"_Breakfast. That was it." she answered flatly, shifting uncomfortably again. Angrily, Logan grabbed the bowl of soup, and pushed it in front of Effy. She glared at him, looking away when his gaze met hers._

"_Eat it, Effy! You can't keep doing this to yourself." he demanded. She shook her head, her lips pressing together._

"_Effy, why won't you eat?" James asked, desperate. This problem struck a nerve for James. For three years his mother suffered through an eating disorder. She had recovered, but it still left a scar on the family. James hated thinking of his mother when she had been no thicker than his hand. He could see her bones, and it scared him. He couldn't let Effy go through the same thing. His eyes were pleading, and Effy couldn't look at them._

"_I… I can't…" she mumbled, her voice too quiet for them to hear. Logan moved the spoonful of soup towards her mouth, but Effy shook her head. "I don't want to eat! Okay?" Her voice was loud, but it still cracked. Logan could see her eyes were wet, but he couldn't understand why she would starve herself. Once again, her stomach growled._

"_Please, Effy! Just eat something." James begged, still thinking of his mother. He had told his friends what she had gone through, and Effy remembered clearly. She felt guilty for bringing back those haunting memories, but she couldn't change her mind._

"_I don't… I don't want to. Please don't make me eat…" Effy breathed, exasperated. Tears spilled over, and though it was a stupid reason to be crying, she couldn't help it. "I can't eat, I just don't want to! I don't know why… I really don't want to eat…" She covered her face with the comforter, trying to hold back the sobs. James and Logan looked to each other for an answer, but neither knew what to do._

"_Do you think you're fat, or something?" Logan wondered, pulling the thick blanket down. Effy's eyes widened, and she stared at him as if he slapped her across the face. She never let that thought into her mind. She knew she was anything but fat. However, at the same time, there was a tab in her mind that had fat written all over it. The whole section of her mind said eat. It said fat. It said ugly. She couldn't explain it to herself, and there were other things in her mind that were just as confusing. Effy didn't want to deal with it, but she didn't want to fight it. When she didn't eat, she found that the other confusing thoughts and ideas weren't so strong, but just as well, she __**was**__ hungry. She just felt guilty for being hungry. "Eff… It's okay to eat. There's nothing wrong with it…" Logan's voice was gentle, assuring._

_Effy stared at him, then at James. Her stomach growled again, and reluctantly, her hands left the warmth of the comforter to hold the bowl of soup. Logan handed it to her without hesitation, but she didn't eat right away. For a few minutes, she stared at the soup, conflicted over whether to go through with it and eat, or back down. It frightened her that something as simple as eating was such a tough decision, but she couldn't focus on that. Closing her eyes, Effy's hand trembled as she took hold of the spoon, ladling a small amount into her mouth. She struggled to swallow it, but once she did, the next few spoonfuls were consumed easier. Neither Logan nor James said anything. They simply let Effy eat._

_When she finished the soup, Logan took the bowl and set it in the sink. Effy didn't appear to want to talk, but Logan and James were just grateful that she'd eaten, and her color was coming back. An hour had passed, and Logan's parents still weren't home. He remembered that they'd said something about working extra shifts at the hospital, seeing as so many other workers were out with the flu, and he felt rather glad that the timing worked in his favor. In the midst of the silence, James' phone vibrated. He opened it, reading the message, then glanced apologetically at his friends._

"_I told Carlos and Kendall what happened. I thought they'd… wanna know." he explained. Logan looked at him questioningly, waiting for him to continue. "Kendall said they're on their way. Work was slow today." James' eyes darted to Effy, but her expression was unreadable. She didn't appear to have anything to say about it, and the three waited in silence until Kendall and Carlos arrived. They could hear their footsteps running across the porch, and the boys ran in gasping for breath._

"_Is Effy okay?" Carlos demanded instantly, looking around wildly. When his eyes landed on Effy, he let out a deep sigh of relief. She seemed as okay as someone who'd almost drowned was going to be. Her eyelids were drooping, and for the past ten minutes, she seemed to be wanting to fall asleep again._

"_Do you wanna take a nap before we take you home?" Logan offered, sitting back down next to Effy. At the mention of home, her eyes widened fearfully, and she scrambled out of the towel and comforter, falling onto the floor. Logan and James stood up, and Carlos and Kendall watched, utterly confused._

"_No! NO! I can't- can't go home! Please don't make me go back, I don't wanna go back there!" Effy screamed, curling up on the ground. James stood, petrified. Logan looked at each of his friends before grabbing Effy and holding her close. She was resorting to a childlike behavior, but he couldn't place why! He tried to rack his brains for anything - any possible theory as to why she was acting so strange, but the well came up dry. He wished he had his medical book, but right now, Effy needed him. She didn't need a diagnoses just yet. She needed to know she was safe, and there was no reason to be so afraid._

"_Alright, alright. You won't go home…" Logan whispered in her ear, trying to calm her down. Effy's eyes remained closed as she stopped trembling. Helping her stand up, Logan led her to the stairs. "Come on. You can take a nap in my room, and we'll figure everything else out later." While Logan took Effy up to his bedroom, James explained to Kendall and Carlos what had happened. He finished the explanation by the time Logan returned. Logan plopped down on the couch, groaning as he rubbed his temples. Something was wrong with Effy, as much as he didn't want to admit it. Why he didn't want to admit it was simple. If something __**was**__ wrong, that meant it was a mental issue. From what he'd seen, it seemed severe. He couldn't accept that though! Effy was his best friend! He'd known her almost his entire life! They all had, so why hadn't they seen signs of her mental problems before? He had to remind himself though, that they __**had**__ seen signs before. It was just their choice not to accept it. Now it was too serious._

"_Logan?" Kendall took a seat next to his friend, speechless for the first time. He tried to figure out something to say, but he had no idea how to deal with this situation. After a minute with no response, he decided to wing it. "Look, don't stress yourself out trying to think of a cure for Effy. We're all worried about her. Maybe… maybe we should take her to the hospital?" At that suggestion, Logan's eyes shot open._

"_Kendall, I don't think-" Carlos couldn't finish his statement though._

"_No! We're not handing Effy over to the hospital so they can send her off to some psycho house! We just… need to be here for her." Logan struggled to say. He knew the right thing was to take Effy to the hospital so she could get help, but his stubbornness was finally coming out. He could help her with what he knew. They didn't have to make her suffer through anything traumatizing like a mental hospital. Logan's mind raced with thoughts. If Effy didn't go home, her mother would worry. The cops would be called, and if they found her here, he would be in trouble. They all would. Then there was the fact that Effy had suddenly began freaking out. What triggered it all? Why now? Logan struggled to figure it out, tugging at his hair._

"_If that's the plan, we have to figure out where Effy will stay. She doesn't want to go home, so she doesn't have to. Where can we hide her? We've gotta make sure she eats, and we have to keep an eye on her." Kendall instructed, standing up and pacing around the room. His leadership was shining through, and he was busy thinking of a schedule they could follow. With hockey and school, they would have their hands full, but they could make time for Effy. She __**did**__ need them, and family came first. The boys sat and thought things over for a while, letting the time escape them. Carlos' phone beeped, and when he checked it, his frown deepened._

"_Dad wants me to get home." he announced, tucking his phone back into his pocket. James checked the time on his phone, sighing. He had to be home too. Logan saw their saddened expressions and shook his head._

"_Don't worry about it. I can watch Effy tonight guys. We'll figure things out tomorrow." he assured them, scratching the back of his head. Kendall, Carlos, and James hesitated, but decided there was no use arguing. "I'll text if anything happens." The boys nodded, giving a solemn goodbye before departing. Logan checked the time again, seeing it was nine-forty. His parents usually came home at ten, give or take five minutes. Sighing, he walked into the kitchen, thinking he'd grab something to eat. Yet when he saw the empty bowl of soup, he lost his appetite._

_Logan wandered aimlessly around the living room, his head throbbing. Figuring he had nothing better to do, he jogged up the stairs to his room, hoping Effy would be feeling better. Perhaps then she could explain things. He opened the door, peering in quietly, in case Effy was still sleeping. His eyes landed on the bed, which was messy and __**empty**__. Quickly running to the bed, he moved the sheets, thinking Effy could've just been hidden under them, but the bed was indeed empty._

"_I'm here." a quiet voice said, startling Logan. He recognized it as Effy's and sighed with relief. Looking around the room, he tried to spot her, and soon enough he realized she was hiding under his bed. Logan bent down, seeing Effy laying securely on the ground with one of the thinner sheets from his bed. He gave her a sympathetic smile, laying on his stomach to be level with her. Her eyes didn't leave him, and for a moment, he was reminded of how she stared at him and the boys in Kindergarten. Even after that fire, it took her time to stop staring at them with such cold force. As soon as the memory of the fire came to mind, something clicked for Logan. Effy had stayed behind that day, seemingly petrified by the fire, and she had acted bizarre when Kendall brought her out to safety. Had the fire been the cause of it?_

_**No, it wasn't that traumatic. It had to have been before then… That would explain why she acted so shy. **__Logan thought, numerous variables and theories flashing through his mind as he tried to solve them all like a math equation. He had to remind himself though, this wasn't just a math equation. It was Effy's mental health._

"_I'm sorry…" Effy whispered at last, her eyes softening. Logan responded with a curious stare, and she continued. "I didn't want to burden you guys… You're my best friends. My only friends." She paused, meeting Logan's gaze again, and wishing she didn't have to speak anymore. However, she knew she owed him an explanation. He was killing himself thinking about what to do for her. She could tell from how messy and abused his hair looked. "I love my mom… Don't think there's a problem with her, okay? I just- She… likes to drink a lot of wine when she comes home from work, and she says things to me and Oliver… Sometimes- and… and I know she doesn't mean it- she tells us Oliver and I ruined her life. I learned not to let that bother me… I just don't like being there with her when she says those things anymore. I'm afraid for myself, and for Oliver. He doesn't know how to cope with that, and it's up to me to be there for him. What… What can he do without me? If I'm not strong enough to stick with him, then who is? It's my job to look after him. He needs a male role model. He's sorry..." Effy was trailing off, and beginning to make little sense._

"_Effy." Logan breathed, capturing her attention. He extended his hand, taking hers and squeezing it lightly. She stared, turning her hand so she could run her thumb over the back of his. For a short while, they moved their hands, calmly fighting the other to keep theirs' on top. A smile spread across Effy's face, and upon seeing her smile, Logan smiled. Downstairs, he heard the front door open and close, and his eyes shut. His parents were home. Effy had tensed, but Logan squeezed her hand assuringly. "I'll be right back, okay?" He let go of her hand, pushing himself up and leaving the room. He trotted down the stairs, putting a smile on before revealing himself to his parents._

"_Logan! How was your day, honey?" his mother asked, hanging her coat up. His father appeared from the kitchen, holding a bottle of water._

"_Fine, it just took a lot out of me." Logan answered, stretching._

"_Did you just wake up?" his father questioned, taking a drink from the water bottle. Logan shook his head, and faked a yawn._

"_I was about to go to bed. I just wanted to say goodnight." he lied. This was the first time he'd done so, and it was easier than he expected it to be. It could've been because of the fact that Effy was lying under his bed at that very moment, but he didn't care. As long as his parents thought everything was fine, then he was calm._

"_Oh. Well, goodnight sweetheart." his mother stated, walking into the kitchen to get herself something to drink. Logan waved, turning and running back up the stairs. He closed his door, locking it for the first time since he'd gotten his own room. Effy was still under his bed. Finding that he really did feel tired, Logan laid down on his bed, wondering if Effy would say anything. She didn't._

"_Are you gonna stay under there all night?" he asked, turning to lie on his side. Logan closed his eyes after a minute with no response, figuring that meant yes. Another minute passed, and he felt the bed move. There was a creak, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Effy lying with her back to him. A small smile spread across his face, and he closed his eyes again. "Goodnight Effy."_

"_Goodnight Logan."_


	15. Chapter 14: What It's Like

Chapter 14: What It's Like

_EAT. EAT. EAT. Food equals failure. C-E-C-I-L-E. Food equals fire. Perfect body. Ugly face. Plain. Scared. Dance your heart out. Forget you. D-E-X-T-E-R. Always right. Lose what's real. No way out. Routine, routine, routine. O-L-I-V-E-R. Smiles. Fall to pieces. Home. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Boom! Revolting. Makes you sick. Memory. FEAR. Love you. Hate you. D-E-X-T-E-R. Equals E-F-F-Y._

Magazine clippings of letters, words, and punctuation marks were pasted onto a page in Effy's journal, spelling out the collage of phrases. Pictures were cut and looped together, creating strange images, but they all coincided with the words. The journal had started out as a daily log Effy kept in order to aid her memory, but ended with the collage on the seventh page. She'd thrown it away after making the collage, but Oliver had rescued the creation from the garbage. He liked looking at how the words went together, and though he couldn't understand what Effy was trying to explain with it, he hoped she would clarify everything when she was ready.

Running his fingers over the page, Oliver closed the book and placed it securely back in his suitcase. Among the things he never unpacked, the journal was one of them. He feared it would be found, and taken away. When he made the mistake of decorating the last apartment with his mothers' pottery, Dexter had taken a bat and destroyed everything. Oliver's lip quivered at the memory, and he quickly closed the suitcase. The only other items that remained in there were a guitar pick from his father, and a paper-mâché mask he'd made with his mother. Pushing the suitcase back under his bed, Oliver stood up, turning to see the photos he'd taped onto the wall.

Most of them were of him and Effy, but there were a few of Effy and Dexter. One of his father was hidden among the assortment, and there were a couple of his mother. He'd made the collage in attempt to copy his sister, and though she'd commented on it positively when she saw it, Oliver found he hated it. He couldn't explain why, but at the moment, he despised it more than anything he'd ever hated before. Everything that was going on with Effy and Dexter had never once been explained to him! Dexter appeared in their lives, and suddenly, Effy wasn't Effy anymore. Both Dexter and Effy insisted she was getting better, but Oliver saw no change. If anything, the matters were worse. Effy was a stranger, almost. She wasn't the sister he knew and loved.

Clenching his fists tight enough to feel his nails digging into his skin, Oliver lunged at the wall of photos, ripping them down. He tore them all, not caring about losing them. He was too angry to care. Shaking, he jumped to reach the ones higher up on the wall, ripping them to shreds when they were in his hands. They became nothing more than trash on the floor. Kicking bitterly at them, Oliver shoved them all into a metal bin he used as a makeshift wastebasket. He stormed out of his room and into the kitchen, searching for the lighter Dexter used for his special cigarettes. Finding it on the counter, Oliver swiped it, going back into his room. He picked up one of the stray photos and clicked on the lighter, holding the flame to the photo-paper. It slowly ignited, and he dropped it into the metal bin, glaring down at it. Seeing a small amount of smoke rising, he sighed and grabbed the bottle of water on his desk, dousing the fire as quickly as he'd started it. Setting off the fire alarms wouldn't make him feel any better.

Oliver stood still for a moment, finally deciding on what he was going to do next. While Effy and Dexter did whatever the hell they wanted to do, they had always ordered Oliver to stay indoors and out of sight. When he asked why, they lied and promised an explanation later. Finding himself becoming angry all over again, Oliver stepped into his shoes and left his room. He walked passed Effy, who was still sleeping on the couch, and exited the apartment. The door closed behind him as he swung it shut, and Oliver felt a peculiar sense of freedom. Before this moment, there was no world outside of the apartment. All that existed was what he could remember, and where his sister accompanied him. Only now did Oliver imagine there was so much more to the world. It wasn't a limited map like it was in video games. At least not for him. He could walk forever if he wanted to.

Observing his surroundings as he walked, Oliver stopped at the elevator, kneeling down to be eye-level with the buttons. He grinned, pushing the button with the number one on it. The number was fading, and would soon need to be repainted. As nice as the Palm Woods was, it was a poor hotel and apartment complex. Management was weak, the rooms and décor were mediocre, and the best thing about the place was the pool. Rather, the best thing about the place was that it was nice for how cheap it was. Oliver knew that was the reason Dexter and Effy had chosen this hotel. They only had so much money left to their names, and they had to spend with caution. Upon arriving in L.A, they had made a decent amount of money from Dexter, though Oliver knew he deserved credit as well. If it weren't for his keen abilities, nothing would've been attained.

Growling, Oliver stepped out of the elevator, walking down the empty hallway. He could hear his footsteps echo around him, and quickly the sound threw him into a state of paranoia. Picking up his pace, he began running through the hall, fleeing the echoes. Was it too much to ask for some fresh air and silence? His question was answered, and unlike many others that people asked daily, this question was given a yes. He stumbled into the lobby, feeling the breeze from outside blow in. Staring out of the doors, he saw the pool. Vacant as it was, he wanted it that way. Oliver slowly but leisurely strolled out to the pool, cautiously sitting at the edge and removing his shoes before dipping his feet into the water. It was cold, but he liked it. He sat still for a long while, losing track of time as it ticked away. Soon, he slipped into the water, floating as he stared at the night sky.

"Holy shit, Oliver!" a voice cried out, causing Oliver to tilt his head up. Running out from the lobby were Kendall, James, and Carlos. Their movie ended before everyone else's kiss-flick, so they were the only ones returning from the theater. Carlos had noticed Oliver while they were walking through the lobby, and pointed him out to James and Kendall. Realizing that it was him floating in the water, they assumed the worst. The three stood around the edge of the pool, staring down at Oliver. He swam towards them, pulling himself out and sitting on the edge once more.

"What are you doing, buddy?" James asked, sitting beside Oliver. Kendall copied, sitting on the other side of him, and Carlos sat beside James. Oliver pushed his wet hair out of his face, thinking about what he had been doing. The answer was simple: Nothing. He thought about things, but he wasn't sure what to say about it.

"Swimming." Oliver finally answered lamely, his eyes monitoring the ripples in the water. He swayed his feet back and forth, increasing the number of waves. The boys traded glances, knowing something wasn't right.

"Where's Effy?" Kendall asked, afraid that whatever was wrong stemmed from a problem with her or Dexter. He wondered where Logan was, and contemplated the idea of him being with Effy. Oliver shook his head, his brow furrowing.

"You don't care." he stated boldly, his feet becoming still again. Kendall was quickly confused, looking to his friends for an answer. James and Carlos were just as puzzled, but they were all thinking the same thing. Effy or Dexter could've potentially filled Oliver's mind with lies or half-truths.

"Olli, we care a lot about your sister. We all-" Carlos tried to reason with him, but Oliver jumped up, suddenly outraged.

"About _ME_! You don't care about _me_!" Oliver screamed, one of his hands hitting his chest. James, Carlos, and Kendall stood up, but none of them had a response. They hadn't expected Oliver to ever say something like that. "No one asks how I feel about Effy! No one asks if I'm afraid! It's always Dexter and Effy! No more Oliver! He doesn't matter! I may be stupid, but I understand enough to know that I'm not as important as Effy. I'm smart enough to know she's sick, and no one is helping her." The tears that had swelled up in Oliver's eyes were spilling over. Carlos didn't hesitate now. He approached Oliver, pulling him into a tight hug. Oliver didn't object to it, but instead allowed himself to cry.

"Come on, we're going back to the apartment. You'll tell us everything you want to say." James whispered once Carlos pulled away from Oliver. He placed his hand on the frail boys' shoulder, and all three of them led him to their apartment. Katie was sitting on the couch watching TV when they entered. Seeing as their dates had driven, the boys took the bus home, taking Katie and her date, Kyle, with them. Logan was no where to be seen, but they assumed he was studying or reading in their room.

"What's going on?" Katie asked, noticing that the boys had Oliver with them. Kendall shook his head, waving his hand at the TV.

"I'll explain later, Kate." he promised, letting the other boys enter the room before disappearing into it himself. He closed the door, locking it so Katie wouldn't barge in. Logan was staring at them all questioningly, and it was evident something had happened to him. His hair was messier than usual, and his eyes were rimmed with pink.

"Jesus Christ, Logan, what happened?" James questioned, finally realizing that not only was Logan a mess, but so was his part of the room.

All of the books Logan read had been torn, and the pages were littered across the floor. His pens and pencils were snapped in half, some of them on the desk and others on the ground. The lamp that rested on his desk was knocked over, and the bulb was cracked. Some of his bed sheets were torn, and his hockey stick rested on top of them. What made the hockey stick so significant to the rest of the boys was the fact that it was destroyed. It lay in three pieces.

"Ask Oliver." Logan answered quietly, his voice hoarse. He'd been screaming while demolishing his belongings, and didn't want to talk anymore. All eyes were turned back to Oliver, who had taken to sitting on Kendall's bed. They all sat around him, waiting for an explanation.

"Tell us what you wanted to say, first." Carlos ordered, seeing the unpleased expression Oliver was hosting. Logan eyed Carlos curiously, not knowing what he was talking about. Only then did he realize that Oliver was drenched. His head began to hurt; too much had happened for his liking. For a while, the room was filled with an uneasy silence. Oliver didn't know where to begin. He closed his eyes, thinking back to where everything went wrong. He knew the day well, but it was hard for him to actually put it into words. It harmed him emotionally to remember the events of those first few days. They were the beginning, and the first experiences he had with negativity at such a high level. From there, all the bad became easier to accept. Though, it had built up to a point where he knew nothing could be changed. At least not without major consequences. He could understand that much.

"Everyone in town talked about you guys leaving. I heard from… I forget her name now, but she was my girlfriend. When I went home, Effy was waiting for me. She went missing. Do you remember?" Oliver asked, seeing them all look to one another before nodding. "She was home, and I was happy, but Effy looked sick. It was the first time I saw her that way. I didn't know what was wrong - I thought she was tired or hungry. Then she went to Momma's room, and I followed her, and we found an envelope. Effy opened it and she pulled out money and a note. She said, 'We need to leave.' Momma had an orange bottle in her hand - the one medicine comes in, and I figured out that she was dead. Effy wouldn't tell me though. She told me to pack all the things that were necessary, like clothes and stuff. So we each got a suitcase, and she took the car to the train station outside of town…"

_I saw trains coming and going. Effy gave me a ticket, and we boarded a train that was going to Detroit, Michigan. On the way, I cried because I knew my Momma was dead. Effy didn't say a word. She didn't hug me. She was busy thinking and counting the money. Momma's note said it was all she had, and she was sorry. I counted while Effy did, but she didn't notice. We had one thousand and two hundred dollars. After Effy counted the money a few times, she finally started crying. I still don't know if it was because of Momma, or because we didn't have a lot of money._

_We rode the train for a long time, and Effy didn't say a word. I didn't have anything to say either. I was sad. My girlfriend was going to wonder where I was, and we never got to say goodbye to Carlos, James, Kendall, and Logan. I held Momma's note in my hand, refusing to let Effy throw it away. Our suitcases were on the seats across from us, and the meal the people working on the train provided sat, untouched, before us. My stomach growled after a few hours, so I decided to eat some of it. I heard Effy's stomach growl, but she never touched her food. When the train finally stopped, Effy stood, grabbing our bags._

"_Where are we going?" I asked, following her off of the train._

"_We need to plan how we'll get to New York." she told me, and I remembered that we used to live their with our Daddy. Effy got us a room at a motel, and for a long time, all she did was lay in bed. I was scared when she closed her eyes, because she made me think of Momma. "I'm not going to sleep forever. Not like Mom. I promise." I didn't believe her. She looked sad, the way Momma looked when Effy was missing. It made my heart squeeze, and I hurt._

_One night, when Effy was sleeping, I put on my shoes and ran out of the motel room. There were guys smoking downstairs, and the smell made me dizzy. The night was very cold, and I didn't have much more than my Fall jacket. It wasn't thick enough to keep me as warm as I wanted to be. I still ran though. I didn't want to stay when Effy died. That night, I fell asleep in an alley that was two streets away from my hotel. Someone woke me up the next morning, and when I looked at him, I knew from what I saw on TV that he was homeless._

"_You're too young to be out here, kid. What're you doing?" the man asked, scratching at his mangy beard. His voice was throaty and hoarse, something Effy would call a "smokers' voice". He had two or three teeth that I could see, and they were yellow. His eyes were red, and his skin looked greasy. He smelled like the dumpsters behind my old school, but his smile made me smile._

"_I'm running away." I answered, and after I spoke, the mans' smile changed. It was only a little, but he seemed to realize something. A lot of people had that expression after hearing me talk. I knew it was because I talked differently. That made people assume I was stupid. I was, but not as stupid as everyone thought. "I'm Oliver. What's your name?" I held out my hand, trying to be nice. The homeless man smiled and shook my hand roughly._

"_I'm Slim Jim. Nice to meet you, son." Slim Jim said. I laughed, because his name was funny. He laughed too, and I liked Slim Jim. "Come on. You hungry? I think I can get us a bite to eat." I nodded, and followed Slim Jim down the alleyway. We walked down two different alleys, and I could hear voices growing louder. Ahead of us there were men at a table. They had cards, and were shuffling them fast. Seeing Slim Jim coming up, the man shuffling the cards laughed._

"_Hey, Slimbo. You come to lose another thirty cents?" the man asked. He sounded like he was teasing Slim Jim, but I couldn't tell if it was serious or not. Slim Jim pulled two dollars out of his pocket and set them on the table. "You wanna bet all that?" Again, he was teasing, but Slim Jim really seemed to want to play the card game. Chuckling, the man began shuffling three cards. I had never seen anyone move cards so fast. The point of the game was for Slim Jim to find the Queen of Diamonds. On the back, I studied the cards. They were all the same, but one of the lines on the back of the Queen of Diamonds card was smudged. It was only by half of a millimeter, but I could see it. Momma had always told me I had an eye for precision. I think this was what she meant. When the man stopped shuffling, Slim Jim looked upset._

"_It's this one, Slim Jim." I said, pointing to the card with the tiny smudge. The card shuffler scoffed._

"_Slimbo, you're not listening to a retard, are you?" he demanded, cackling. I frowned, because I knew what retard meant. Slim Jim saw my face, and I think he felt bad._

"_Yeah, I pick that one." he answered. I looked at him and smiled, and when the card shuffler turned over the card, Slim Jim laughed. It was the Queen of Diamonds. The card shuffler wasn't happy with us._

"_Play me again, retard. Double or nothing." he demanded. Slim Jim nodded, stepping out of the way. I played the game again, and picked the smudged card. Now I won eight dollars. "Again." This time, the card shuffler pulled out new cards. I had to find the King of Hearts. All of the cards had designs the same size, but the King of Hearts was half a shade lighter than the other two. I didn't know how the card shuffler and Slim Jim didn't notice it, but I didn't care. I was having fun. Now I had sixteen dollars._

"_Alright, that's enough Oliver. I'm pretty hungry. Get your winnings." Slim Jim ordered, seeing the card shuffler was becoming angry. I listened to Slim Jim, and followed him out of the alley way. He was walking faster now, and didn't slow down until we rounded the corner. "Be careful with some of these people." He whispered it to me, as if everyone was listening in on this secret. "Watch when guys like that get angry. No one likes to lose money." I nodded, and we stopped at a hot dog cart._

"_Okay, Slim Jim." I replied, watching him buy the hot dogs. He gave me one and I quickly ate it. There was greasy chili smothering the meat and somewhat soggy bun, and mustard on top of that. The flavors blended in my mouth, and they were good. Slim Jim ate as fast as I did, like he hadn't eaten in days. After throwing his trash in a bin that was on the corner of the street, he gave me six dollars._

"_We split it even, okay? You earned that money. You've got a talent for that game." Slim Jim told me. He walked with me down the street, and we went back to where I had woken up. "Where you runnin' to, kid?" I shrugged. I never thought about where I'd go._

"_I'm just running away." I answered simply. Slim Jim was troubled by my answer._

"_Well what are you runnin' from?" he asked, licking some stray chili from his finger. I pointed in the direction of the motel. I could see the sign above some of the buildings, and for a second, I missed Effy. "That don't tell me much, son."_

"_My Momma died. My sister, Effy, said she put herself to sleep, and now Effy looks sad like Momma did, and she doesn't like to get out of bed. So I'm running away before she dies like Momma." I answered, still pointing towards the motel. I started to miss Effy more. Slim Jim stood beside me._

"_That's a pretty big problem, Olli." Slim Jim said. I nodded. "You can't just leave your sister all alone, can you? Won't she miss you?" I thought about it, and I nodded again. If I missed her, she had to miss me. We were twins, after all. We needed each other._

"_Do you think she's looking for me?" I asked, feeling guilty. Slim Jim nodded. "Can you walk back with me? I want Effy to meet you." I was smiling, and so was Slim Jim. Though, I could see he was a little sad. I think it was because we were friends. I don't think he wanted me to go._

"_Sure thing, boy." he agreed. We walked down the streets, and when we got back to the motel, Effy was outside. She was crying, and when she saw me, she screamed. She ran to me, and hugged me tight. "This young man missed you a lot, little lady." Effy looked at Slim Jim, and I could see she didn't trust him. She pulled me away from him, but I took her hand and tried to calm her down._

"_This is my friend. His name is Slim Jim. Look Effy, we made money playing a card game!" I exclaimed, showing Effy my six dollars. Her eyes were wide, and she was angry._

"_What did you do with him?" she asked, glaring at Slim Jim. He held up his hands, staying calm._

"_I played a card game, but Olli was better at it. He won his money fair and square." Slim Jim explained. "I got him a hot dog, and gave him his share of money." Effy still didn't look happy._

"_He's my friend, Effy. Be nice, please?" I begged, tugging at her sleeve. She looked at me, then looked grudgingly back at Slim Jim._

"_We're going to New York, Oliver. Get your suitcase." Effy stated. Slim Jim didn't look away from her. He shook his head, knowing things that we didn't._

"_You're not going to make it on your own. How much money you kids got?" Slim Jim questioned, crossing his arms. When Effy didn't answer, I did to be polite._

"_One thousand dollars, just about." I stated. Effy hit my arm, and Slim Jim shook his head._

"_Oliver, you're gonna need to play some more card games. Raise the stakes. You kids need money to get by." Slim Jim informed us. "I can help you get the money safely. Hell, I'll even act as your guardian. You kids don't look any older than seventeen. You ain't gettin' no where on your own." Effy was still for a long time. I think she knew Slim Jim was right, and I think Slim Jim was just happy to have someone to talk to. He wanted to come along with us, and after a few minutes of standing around, Effy said okay._

_Slim Jim took us around the city, and we played a bunch of different card games. I was good at them, but he told me to always loose the first two. That tricked the card shufflers, and we got a lot more money. Effy spoke up during our last card game, and after I had lost the first two games, she said she'd bet all of our money if the card shuffler bet his car. Slim Jim seemed against it, but Effy didn't let him talk. The card shuffler laughed at her and agreed. When I won, all I could remember was him being very angry. Effy threw down two hundred dollars on the table, saying thanks, and swiftly grabbed his keys. She told us to run, and we did. We hopped into the car, and the card shuffler pulled out his gun. Effy told me to cover my ears and close my eyes, and when Slim Jim tapped me, we were on the highway. His arm was bleeding, but he said he was okay._

_We took our suitcases from the motel, and we left Michigan. The money I earned totaled up to four thousand dollars, but Effy said it would go fast unless we spent carefully. We lived off of dollar-hamburgers from McDonalds, twenty dollar-a-night rooms at filthy motels, and generic brands of soaps and toothpastes for a long time. I lost track of how many days passed. Effy didn't tell me, but I don't think she cared. We made a lot of stops, earning a little money here and there. She wanted to be certain we had enough, and it became clear she had something planned for when we got to our destination._

_Slim Jim told us on the ride to New York that he wanted to get out of Detroit for a long time. He wasn't an alcoholic or a drug addict. He just didn't know how to read. He learned how to write a few things as he grew up, but for the most part, he was about as smart as people assumed I was. I think that was why Slim Jim liked me so much._

_I remember when we finally arrived in New York, we drove from the pretty side to the side that was as filthy as Slim Jim. There were more homeless men around, and a lot more card games taking place. Effy said we would have to live here for a while. Slim Jim filled out paperwork with Effy's help, and we paid a really small amount for a two bedroom apartment with one bathroom. Both bedrooms were small, and the kitchen combined with the living room. None of the walls were painted, and every night the room shook violently because of the trains that came through. Effy seemed to like it though. Slim Jim said he was grateful to have a roof over his head, and a burger in his stomach. He constantly said we were a good, if not unbelievable story, and though I didn't understand what he meant, Effy seemed to agree with him._

_Over time, Effy started to warm up to Slim Jim. She disappeared everyday, and I think she was working. On weekdays she left early and came home late, and on weekends she was gone for only half of the day. She always came home with McDonalds or pizza. I liked it. We were having fun. We were a family. I can't remember what happened everyday, but I remember when it all stopped. Two things happened before Dexter came into our lives. First, we heard about Big Time Rush touring around America. They stopped at Times Square, and I realized who they were. Effy did too, but she didn't say anything about them. She wouldn't let me say anything either. I didn't understand, but when I protested, she did something she'd never done before. She slapped me. I was hurt, and it scared me._

_Effy never apologized for it._

_Second, Slim Jim died. I couldn't remember the events that led up to the moment, but I know he was hit by a car. That was common in New York. I'd seen it happen several times. Only twice did I ever see it kill anyone though. One was with Slim Jim, the other was with my father. Effy seemed to remember that too, because she cried and cried when Slim Jim was hit. When the paramedics came, she took my hand and we ran. She said we couldn't stay. We had to let Slim Jim go. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Days passed, and Effy stopped going to wherever she went every day. She hid in her room the whole time, leaving me alone in the apartment. We didn't have a TV. We didn't have any furniture. So I spent all of my time staring out of the windows. I wasn't allowed to leave the apartment._

_Then one day, someone knocked at the door. I was scared, but the person on the other side of the door explained themselves._

"_Oliver, I need you to listen to me. Your sister - go check her room - You're gonna see it's empty. She climbed out of the window. She was trying to hurt herself, but I stopped her. She's in my car right now. Effy says you need to come with me. We're going to L.A." the male voice said. I didn't believe him until I saw that Effy's room was, in fact, empty. I opened the door, and saw Dexter for the first time. He held up a camera, the type that takes pictures and videos, and showed me a video message Effy had recorded. Dexter wasn't lying. "Go get your suitcases." I did as he said, and packed all of my things. I packed Effy's things as well, and Dexter helped me take the suitcases down to the parking lot. Our car wasn't there, but he led me to a different car._

"_Where's Effy?" I asked when we sat in the car. Dexter nodded to the backseat. There was a thick, green blanket covering what had to be my sister. She wasn't facing me, so I only saw her hair, but I knew the color. It was her. "Is she dead?" I was suddenly scared. Dexter shook his head._

"_She's very tired. We need to let her be at peace for a while, alright? I promise you, she'll wake up again." Dexter said. Something about his tone made me trust him. That was where our journey to L.A. began._

_Dexter yelled at me when I did something wrong. He was mean a lot, but he said I needed guidance. We drove in loops and zigzags for a long time, and each time he told me to sleep in a motel, he would wake me up and take me out to a new car. We changed cars daily, it seemed. Sometimes twice a day. We only drove at night after the first two days, and for the whole month we drove, Effy didn't wake up. For that entire month, I referred to Dexter as 'mister', because he never told me his name. When we stopped in Seattle, Washington, I decided I missed my sister, and wanted to know what was going on._

"_You said she'd wake up." I accused, frowning. Dexter didn't answer. "I don't know anything anymore. You won't tell me where we're going, or why we're taking so long to get there. You won't tell me why Effy is sleeping so much. Is she awake when I'm asleep? I don't even know your name, mister." I realized, in the middle of talking, that over the past few months, I had grown as a person. There were experiences I had that matured me. I wasn't so naïve anymore. I could understand that._

"_My name is Dexter." he finally replied, starting the car. I remember feeling shocked, and my eyes became wide._

"_Like my daddy?" I asked, unable to believe it. Dexter was quiet for a while, and he continued to look back at Effy._

"_That's a funny coincidence. I'm guessing that's why Effy picked me." he stated. For the first time since I met him, he grinned. "Effy likes to get up while you sleep. She watches you, makes sure you're safe and everything. Don't worry about her, okay? She's really sick. She needs her sleep. I'm here to keep you two safe." Dexter admitted, his tone the softest I had ever heard it. The next day, he gave me a present. He gave me my first camera. For the next month, I took pictures of the places we drove by. I wasn't sure why Dexter took so long to get to L.A, but he said we needed to stay on the down low. I didn't understand, but he also said I didn't need to. Throughout that month, something else happened that I wouldn't forget. Effy started to wake up when I was awake. She and Dexter yelled at each other a lot when they disappeared into their bedroom, and it confused me. I thought they were friends. They told me to turn up the volume on the television in our motel rooms whenever they fought in their bedroom, but I could still hear the faint sounds of their shouts. I never saw them happy together. I never saw them __**together**__. They avoided each other, and talking about each other, it seemed. I never understood the attraction that started the relationship._

_I was scared for Effy. If she was so sick, she shouldn't have been yelling so much. She was wasting her energy. If she was sick, we needed to take her to the hospital, or give her medicine. Neither Effy nor Dexter listened to me though. They said I didn't know what I was talking about, and they told me to shut up. All I could do was stand by and watch._

"Now we're here." Oliver finished, motioning around him. James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan absorbed what he said. His story fit the time frame. They had been running around for five months, and the boys had left Sherwood five months ago. It slightly explained more about Dexter, but with only the information Oliver had, there was still a lot to be learned. Where was Effy going everyday? What was she doing? How did she find Dexter?

More importantly, what were the boys going to do to help Effy?


	16. Chapter 5: How To Save A Life

**Author's Note: So, after reading this chapter, you'll realize that all the memory chapters are exactly that. Just memories. They're important, but they happened before the main story, you know? So if I had put this story in its' exact order, chapter six would've come first. These chapters would've been scattered around. You know, just because. Anyway, there's not much I have to say about this other than: Enjoy! It's the last memory chapter (though, there will be segments in other chapters with some flashbacks)!**

**I got some new followers and alerters, so hi there! Welcome! I really really hope you like this chapter, and please review! Tell me your favorite parts/lines, what you hated, mistakes I made, or just fangirl over the boys. I always love reading reviews! Thanks ladies and gents!**

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Chapter 5: How To Save A Life

_Posters began appearing on telephone poles and building walls. Printed in bold, block letters was: __**MISSING! ELIZABETH STEPHANIE VALMONT**__. Effy's most recent photograph was above the words, and every time they passed one of the posters, Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan felt a twinge of guilt. On more than one occasion, they'd seen Effy's mom and brother. The two were going out of their minds taping up posters and begging the police to continue searching for Effy. Immediately following the first night of her disappearance, Cecile ran to their doors. Her breathing was quick and panicked through all of her questions, and the boys lied their way through everything. Their story was simple. They'd last seen Effy at the café, then went their separate ways after she decided not to skate with them._

_Oliver didn't seem to understand the seriousness of what was going on, but he did understand that his twin sister was missing. One thing about his disorder, was the fact that change unsettled him. Without Effy around, his whole life seemed to be a chaotic mess. Cecile abandoned her wine to focus on her pursuit for her daughter, but to no avail. When the boys failed to give her any useful information, she drove around to neighboring towns, trying to find a sign of Effy. There was no trace of her. Sherwood officers and detectives could only do so much with their small-town knowledge, and eventually, the failing streak slowed down the investigation._

_It had already been three weeks._

"_Logan!" James shouted, snapping his friend back into reality. They sat at their booth in Tony's Café, splitting a couple baskets of fries. Kendall and Carlos were staring at Logan anxiously, waiting for him to update them. Effy was staying at his house now, and whenever Logan had time away from her, he read whatever he could find about the symptoms she showed._

_After the first night, Logan and the boys craftily stowed Effy away in the back of a truck, driving (much to Logan's reluctance and hesitation) to Kendall's house and sneaking her in. Throughout the first week, the boys repeated this pattern, borrowing Carlos' brothers' truck while he was at work and carefully driving to wherever Effy was staying. Quickly though, things became more difficult. Police were suddenly everywhere looking for her, and the missing person signs were on every corner. Driving with only a permit and no adult was risky enough, but with a runaway hiding in the back of the truck, there were dozens of different punishments the boys could face._

_Realizing this, Effy waited until they were back in the safety and seclusion of Logan's house to speak up. She insisted that it was becoming too much of a burden to the boys, and though they denied it, she wouldn't listen. Much to her discomfort, she suggested going back home, but Logan could see the change in her eyes upon saying it. He didn't want her to go away just yet. He felt obliged to help her, not just by hiding her, but by figuring out what exactly was wrong. Through compromises, it was decided that she would hide out at Logan's house. In reality, that was the best choice. Logan's parents worked long hours, and he was trustworthy to them. They never thought him capable of lying or keeping secrets, so Effy would be more safe there than anywhere else._

"_I think I figured out what's going on with Effy." Logan finally admitted, pulling a few papers from his book bag. He had printed out a copy for each of the boys, and as he passed them out, the title of the page caught his eye. It made him flinch to think something that grave was plaguing their friend._

"_Psychosis?" Carlos wondered aloud, slowly reading through the page._

"_Symptoms include hallucinations, delusions, thought disorder… Effy had all of these symptoms?" Kendall questioned, reading from the paper._

"_Not yet. Not exactly." Logan answered, looking over his own copy. He sighed, pushing his hair back. "She's a danger to herself, because she refuses to eat half the time… and sometimes she'll say things that don't make sense. Haven't you ever noticed that?" The boys stole glances at each other._

"_I have, sorta. She was saying something about a guy, but it was really…" James tried to explain, at a loss for words._

"_Vague?" Logan finished for him, having already figured this out. James nodded, setting the paper down. "She really needs help, and I don't know how much longer we can be the ones giving it to her." He rubbed his eyes; the stress hindered his sleep, and it was starting to get to him. Kendall crumpled the paper, throwing it at his over-stressed, brainiac friend._

"_Effy's gonna be fine, okay? We're all looking out for her, and we're not gonna let her lose her mind." he assured him. All of them, really. Carlos and James seemed to be discouraged, and though Kendall was too, he knew how to hide it. He was going to keep his mind on the positive outcomes until they were all proved impossible. Even then, he would hope for the best. Logan could think he was taking it too lightly all he wanted, but Kendall wouldn't change his mind. Effy would be alright. They wouldn't let their friend down. "I say, we take out minds off of her with some hockey practice. She's going to be fine."_

_The boys could hear the certainty in Kendall's tone, and after doubtfully looking to each other, they decided he was right. At least about the hockey practice. Grudgingly, Logan went along with them to the school ice rink. Originally, they were going to go to their private, hidden ice rink outside of town, but James and Logan refused. That was where Effy's downfall began. It didn't seem like __**their**__ rink anymore; at least not a rink filled with good memories. Arriving at the school, they found it was empty aside from the girls' field hockey team, but the boys didn't mind. In fact, they were rather glad they were the only ones around. Breaking into pairs, they played dozens of matches against each other, venting their own struggles and frustrations on the ice. Kendall knew what he was talking about when he suggested hockey. He always played whenever he was too upset or angry, which ultimately made him the relaxed boy he was._

_One thing was certain; Kendall was right. For an hour or so the boys played game after game, taking out everything they felt on the ice. Logan, for the short while, let Effy slip his mind. The four enjoyed themselves. Laughed. Smiled. Since Effy's meltdown, not one moment passed that didn't have the thought of her health and future nagging it. Though she was their best friend, and they felt strongly about friendship, they knew they needed a break. Nothing was ever going to feel normal until Effy acted like her usual self. As risky as it was, they weren't going to take a chance with sending her away to get help. Stubbornly, they agreed they themselves could help her. Failure wasn't allowed in their heads. Realistically, Logan and Kendall knew they were biting off more than they could chew, but they wouldn't admit it. If James and Carlos understood that, they were keeping it masked well. None of them could admit that there wasn't a thing they could do for Effy that would __**really**__ cure her. Admitting that was accepting they'd failed her. Their stubbornness and firm faith in their loyalty and dedication as friends wouldn't let them._

_While the boys played hockey, Effy was hiding in Logan's room. Over the three week period she stayed with him, she'd learned the schedule his parents followed. She knew when it was okay to make noise, leave the room, take a shower, or do anything outside of Logan's room. It was a Friday, which meant from seven in the morning to eleven at night, his parents would be at work. Either Mr. or Mrs. Mitchell would stop by at eight or nine to see if Logan was home and if he needed anything, but that was it._

_Deciding it would be the best time, Effy sifted through Logan's bottom drawer. When she had first stayed at his house, she hadn't given thought to how long she'd be away from home, or what she would wear. None of the little things that were somewhat important came to her mind at all. Upon staying at Kendall's house the very next night, she realized she wanted a shower. Awkward as it was, Kendall scrounged up clothes he'd outgrown and let her borrow them. To his amazement, it was still a size or two too big for her, but he didn't make a comment. He still wasn't sure what he could say around her. Letting Effy keep the clothes, she took both outfits to James' house, and he let her use the washing machine to clean them. He even departed with his old, forgotten ex-lucky shirt to keep her clothed. When she stayed with Carlos, he saw the others had given her things, and since he didn't have old clothes to spare, he gave Effy one of his old helmets._

_Smiling at the thought, Effy let the water heat up, stepping into the shower and sitting with her back to the water. Hugging her knees to her chest, she thought about how much the boys had really helped her. When she returned to Logan's house, and decided it was too dangerous to move around, he cleared his bottom drawer to store the clothes she'd gotten, and also for the clothes he'd outgrown that she could fit into. With the clothes predicament solved, there rose another that the boys found awkward to deal with. Effy was a girl, which they knew perfectly well, but they never gave thought to her having the same girl issues their mothers had. Each day she needed one, the boys - with plenty of reluctance and embarrassment - stole a pad or tampon from their mother to donate to Effy. Though these exchanges were never acknowledged, she was deathly grateful to them. Aside from those awkward factors, the rest of their dedication to her was flattering. She didn't expect them to help with her schoolwork, but Logan insisted. Each of the boys brought something different that she was missing, teaching her as best as they could. Logan was the one who usually helped her the most with school, but Carlos, James, and Kendall had their moments. Their main part in helping her was getting her to eat. Logan could only do so much on his own, and when the other three were together, they forced her to eat. It was for her own good._

"_And how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?" Effy quietly sang as she washed herself, mulling over everything the boys had done for her in the past month. She spent her time thinking of only that when she couldn't focus on school. Anything was better than letting her mind drift to the guilt of leaving her brother alone. Quickly, Effy focused on rinsing herself off, keeping her mind busy when she turned the water off and dried. Neatly folding the towel and placing it on the basket with the other two towels, she slipped into her underwear and one of the sweaters Logan had given to her. It reached her knees, and the masculine frame of the clothing sagged off her own frame. She gathered her used clothes, and though it was Logan's bathroom, and his parents didn't come through here, she wanted to keep herself as hidden as possible. For a while now, the feelings of guilt had become stronger. She couldn't help but think she was burdening the boys; Logan in particular._

_So on days where Logan stayed out later than normal, Effy didn't question it. She'd turned off her phone long ago to avoid calls from her mother, but occasionally she considered turning it on to text Logan or any of the boys while she was alone. Those seemed to be the hardest times; whenever she felt lonely, coping with everything was much harder. She never expressed this to the boys, mainly out of fear. There were many things she couldn't explain to herself, and that frightened her. Until she could work everything out, she couldn't tell the boys anything. They were worrying enough. Sighing, Effy plopped down on Logan's bed and curled up. Now was as good a time as ever to finish her English work, but she figured resting for a moment couldn't hurt. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was only four-thirty._

_**Five minutes.**__ Effy thought, closing her eyes and almost instantly falling asleep._

_**Effy fell into darkness as she drifted into her slumber, and when she landed, her eyes opened to something that wasn't Logan's room. Sitting up, she observed her surroundings, seeing buildings come into focus. She was laying on a sidewalk, and people were walking passed her as if she didn't exist. Curious, Effy pushed herself up, hearing the muted world around her slowly begin to buzz. As she stepped forward, the buzzing became louder. Her curiosity at its' peak, she followed the buzzing noise, and it became louder and more distinct as she rounded the corner of the sidewalks.**_

_**Judging from the grimy look of the buildings, and how cold everything felt, Effy realized where she was. New York City. The thought of being back there made her sick. Suddenly, the noises she heard became familiar, and she couldn't stop her legs from carrying her to the source. She had been here before, and though it was so long ago, the memory was stuck in her subconscious. Over time, Effy had managed to lock it away and make herself forget, but through her dreams the memory haunted her. Only then did it become a memory she had to work at to forget.**_

"_**No…" Effy whimpered, closing her eyes as she approached the scene that was too recognizable for her liking. Finally, her feet stopped moving on their own, and though she wanted to run away, she couldn't. Before her, at the very beginning of the crosswalk, sat a small boy and his sister. The boy seemed confused, scared. The girl was bleeding from her knee, and was screaming at the wreck behind her. Laying in the middle of the road, was a man. Effy stared down at the children sympathetically, crouching down to be eye level with the girl. The girl didn't see her though. No one saw her. Effy had this dream before. She'd lived it. She was the little girl. Oliver was the little boy. The man was their father.**_

"_**DADDY!" the young Effy screamed, trying to push herself up. "S-stay here Oliver! Stay!" She hobbled over to her father, ignoring the adults around her trying to keep her out of the way. The paramedics had yet to arrive, and Effy's father was fading fast. The car that had struck him fled, but a few witnesses remained. None of them ran to help, but all of them watched. The young Effy would never forget that detail of the day. Opening his eyes, the man saw his daughter and smiled. Cupping her face in his hand, he rubbed his thumb over her cheek.**_

"_**Elizabeth… You're going back to Cecile. I can tell you that much." he said, his throaty voice sounding scratchier than usual. Effy felt tears burning her eyes as she neared the young version of herself and her father. Young Effy was already crying. "Hey… You be strong, alright? You take care of your mom, and you take care of Oliver. I want you to be the best you can be, alright? You have to promise me that, baby. I… I really wish Oliver could have a man in his life. I wish I could've been him. A good role model. Elizabeth, just be strong for daddy, okay? Be strong for your brother. He's gonna need you, kiddo. Cecile… Your mother - do your best to keep the family close. Be good… Be good." The man seemed to be losing himself in his words, and rambling more than anything, but young Effy couldn't understand that. Even the older Effy couldn't hear it. She was too focused on seeing her father die all over again.**_

_**At last, the paramedics arrived, and one of them pulled the young Effy away. As she was dragged away, the real Effy felt her own shoulder being moved…**_

"_Gah!" Effy gasped, her eyes shooting open. Logan stood above her, backing away when she bolted upright. She slowly calmed down, shaking her head at the dream. "Sorry…" Taking a deep breath, Effy rubbed her eyes, looking back at Logan. He was taking off his sweater, and she saw that his shirt was torn. There were small cuts on his face that had clearly been cared for, and he was moving rather stiffly. "What happened?" She scooted further back, allowing him to sink onto his side of the bed. He appeared quite exhausted, as if the day were incredibly long. Groaning, he turned, facing her._

"_I need to get new friends. That's what happened." Logan stated, scratching the side of his head. Effy looked at him questioningly, knowing he'd said this plenty of times before. The first time she recalled hearing the phrase was way back in Kindergarten when Carlos convinced them all that it would be cool to steal the snacks from the cupboards. Smiling at the thought, she tuned back in to the present for Logan's answer. "First, the guys decided to soak the girls' field hockey team. You can guess where that led-" He broke off, motioning to his torn shirt and cut up cheek. "Then we saw this thing on MTV about Gustavo Rocque being in Minnesota, and you know James. He freaked out and we went to audition. That guy… was evil. Evil! Ugh…" He shuddered at the memory, curling up._

"_So what happened? __**You**__ auditioned?" Effy asked, laughing incredulously. Logan frowned, nodding. "All of you did? What happened?" She was eager to know. James hadn't stopped talking about being famous since they were eight._

"_Believe it or not, Gustavo said no. He rejected everybody, and Kendall freaked out when he said James had no talent. Then there was this fight between us and the security guards, and we had to be escorted to Kendall's house." Logan explained, opening his eyes in time to see Effy's face fall. James had been rejected? He had everything a pop star needed! How could he have been rejected? Seeing her confusion and dismay, Logan quickly continued. "The weird thing is, Gustavo came by Kendall's house just… ten minutes after we were dropped off. He wanted to take Kendall to L.A." Effy's jaw dropped._

"_Did he accept? That's huge!" she exclaimed, her face brightening up again._

"_That's the funny thing. He didn't." Logan answered, making a face. Effy frowned, imagining what Kendall would've said. She could believe he said no, but she had to wonder what James was thinking. "Gustavo's assistant gave him her card though. She said they were leaving tomorrow at two, and he should think about it. I'm thinking he should too. I mean, on the way back, I thought about the money he could make as a singer. If it all works out, he could earn some serious cash. A seven or eight figure salary at sixteen? You have to admit, that's unbelievable." Logan shrugged at the thought, not noticing Effy losing herself in thought._

"_My dad was a musician." she suddenly blurted out, not even realizing she said anything until she saw Logan's face. He was confused, but at the same time, alert. Effy covered her mouth, but it was too late. She'd piqued his curiosity._

"_You've never said anything about your dad." Logan stated, the fact resurfacing in his mind. He always knew Effy's father wasn't really around, but he never knew why. He never felt it was his place to ask. Realizations like that, though, were what put into perspective how little he really knew about his best friend. None of the boys really knew anything about her. All they knew was what they speculated throughout the years, and what she told them. When judged objectively though, it wasn't as much as the boys knew about each other. Effy shook her head, her hands still covering her mouth. Pushing himself up, Logan's eyes locked with hers. "Come on, Eff. You started to talk… Clearly, you wanted to say something. Say it." He reached out, pulling her hand away from her mouth._

"_I said my dad was musician…" Effy mumbled, falling down on her side of the bed. Logan watched her sternly, lying down himself as he stared. She knew he wasn't going to quit until she talked. This battle had been fought before, and she never won. However, this was different. Her father was a subject she never touched, even with herself. "He was a musician…" she repeated, falling back into her thoughts._

"_Effy!" Logan shouted, pulling her back into reality. She stared at him, searching through his eyes as if testing to see if he was worthy of knowing her secrets. He was. He always had been. She just always found her way out of talking through things with excuses. "You can tell me, Effy." For years, that was the exact same thing she'd told herself. She could tell Logan. If anything, she could tell him at least. Inhaling deeply and closing her eyes, she trembled as she decided to speak._

"_He's why I want to be a dancer." Effy began, looking away from Logan. She seemed to be conflicted, as if trying to figure something out. "He played music in New York… that's where Oliver and I were born. And my mom - she didn't like it after a while. We just turned five, I think. She took us here, to Minnesota. My grandpa took us in, before he died… Then dad stole us. Mom went insane over it, and we didn't understand. Oliver and I just knew we were back in New York for a while. Dad took us to his shows, and he tried to show Oliver the guitar. I liked dancing better, just because it was fun to jump around like all the people. Instruments were harder, but my dad said I might like piano…" She began drifting away from her point, but Logan didn't bother correcting her. Whatever she said was a gift. The more progress they could make, the better. It didn't matter what it was, as long as she was facing things that could've been the beginning of her mental deterioration._

"_What happened then?" Logan asked quietly, hoping to nudge her along and discover more._

"_He was hit by a car." Effy breathed, almost too quiet for him to hear. He did though, and he kept an eye on her to see if her expression would change. When it didn't, he relaxed just a little. "He told me… He said Oliver and I had to be strong. Then we were sent back to our mom." Logan listened, and could hear that there was something Effy was hiding. Again though, he couldn't push his luck. He could only get so much from her and feel safe about it. She was reaching her limit, he could see that._

_Effy's eyes gazed up to meet Logan's, and he could see for the first time, her bizarre, blue-gray eyes weren't guarded. There was always a defense in them, even as the boys grew up with her, but now… It was completely gone. This was the most vulnerable he'd ever seen her. The fact that she allowed herself to be so defenseless in front of him, when she had nothing else to go to for safety, flattered him. She was letting him know with this stare, that he had finally made it over any wall she had. If someone really wanted to know everything that made Effy who she was, they had to work at it, and he had. He earned everything he was hearing, and they both knew it. In that stare, Effy let him know that she never told anyone these secrets. He knew not to tell the others. Even though they were all friends, there was something different about how he and Effy were friends. Neither knew that both were trying to convince themselves it was due to the fact that he was the first to befriend her. Neither would accept that it might've been because they felt something more than friendship._

_Hesitantly, Logan moved his arm, wrapping it around Effy and pulling her close. Her eyes were wide, but the guarded hardness of them didn't return. Gradually, her eyes closed, and she accepted the warmth of her friend. He held her with care. Love. He forced himself to think of it as a love from an older brother, which all the boys felt for Effy, but he had the suspicion that he'd wanted to do something like this for a while. Perhaps that suspicion was right._

_Logan had always noticed and observed more about Effy than he did with the guys. He chalked it up as something normal, seeing as he wouldn't observe a guy the way he would observe a girl, but he'd always thought of Effy as one of the guys. They all had. Though, even before seeing her in the girly light she'd been in the night of the Fall dance, he'd been studying her. He noticed when she curled her hair around her finger, he got chills whenever she gave him any of her enticing stares, he even forgot to breathe at times when she got too close, and he could now admit that it __**was**__ jealousy he felt when Alec and Effy seemed to be a thing._

_Effy felt the same. Nerves racked her whenever she had one on one time with Logan, and she stared at him whenever she found a safe moment to. She thought the world of him, and not just because he'd been helping her so intensely. Her admiration of him was existent from the day she met him, and had grown since then. Somewhere along the way it turned into a genuine affection, but it was something she couldn't face yet. She couldn't accept that she truly loved someone who wasn't family until she accepted herself. Right now just wasn't the time. Effy closed her eyes, resting her head against Logan's chest. She listened to his heartbeat, slowly drifting off to the rhythm of it._

_Before she completely fell asleep though, Effy considered everything she was feeling. She let her mind wander to the pain of the guilt she'd put up with. She let her mind figure out where she wanted to stand with Logan, and where he stood with her, and she slowly reached a decision. Tomorrow she'd have to talk to Logan more. As she thought about those things, Logan himself contemplated what he was feeling. Talking about it to Effy seemed difficult. It could add more tension to her already fragile mind._

_Neither of them knew the next day would be different._

_Neither of them knew the next day would change everything._


	17. Chapter 17: The Ballad of Mona Lisa

**Author's Note: Next to chapter 19, this chapter is the most important. Personally, I feel that the title of the chapter really ties in with the events that take place. The meaning Brendon Urie gave out in an interview really registered, and I thought it was fantastic. If you can figure it out, don't spoil the secret! Only a few people know, and when they read over the chapters again, they can pick out the subtle clues that are scattered around. These last few chapters I have left are really, really a huge part to the story. It's all the good stuff split into four installments, and I do hope you enjoy them. So here is chapter 17.**

* * *

Chapter 17: The Ballad of Mona Lisa

Lying beside Effy, Logan found himself drifting off to sleep. Effy fell asleep long before him, and this time, Logan didn't leave her. His hand ran over her cheek, and his eyelids began to droop. He kissed the top of her head, taking in her sweet scent. Everything about the moment was comfortable; nothing had ever been so right. He didn't feel the need to plan out his next move, or contemplate the consequences of what he was doing now. Everything was fine the way it was…

"Gah!" Logan gasped, his eyes ripping open. Effy continued to sleep, and Logan carefully sat up as to not wake her. He stepped out of bed, stretching. His phone vibrated loudly against his clothes, and he searched through the pile for it. He'd always been a light sleeper, and the previous night - regardless of how perfect - was no exception. Morning had come too quickly, and it would've ended perhaps a little later had it not been for the text message Logan received. He opened his phone once he found it, gathering his clothes as he read the text.

_**Logan, u idiot! Ur lucky Mrs. Knight trusts u! We told her u went 2 sleep early cuz u were going out for breakfast. U better bring some shit home (and details). ;) - Jay man**_

Rolling his eyes and closing the phone, Logan tugged on his pants and threw his shirt on, not bothering to button it up. He searched Effy's desk for a pen and sheet of paper, finding only her eyeliner and sticky notes. Figuring it would have to do, he wrote, _James texted. I had to get home. Meet me at the pool when you wake up. I'll have breakfast. I love you._ He paused, looking over the note. Writing that he loved her was effortless, and took no thought. That alone made him grin. He gently stuck the note to her hand so she would see it once she woke up, turning to leave. Oliver was still in his room, and assuming the boy was asleep, Logan quietly exited the apartment. He ran down the stairs to the second floor where his apartment was. His hand was on the doorknob of 2J, and he opened it just wide enough to be seen before realizing he hadn't come up with any story as to why he looked so disheveled, or why he didn't have the breakfast James had promised.

"Oh, sweetheart! You're back early! Where's the… Logan, are you alright?" Mrs. Knight took in the sight of Logan when he burst through the door, and noticed immediately that his shirt was open, and he was out of breath. A sweat broke out on his forehead, and his mouth dried. Kendall, James, and Carlos came out at that moment, grinning.

"Hey genius, did you forget something?" Carlos teased, throwing Logan's wallet at him. He hit James' chest, and the two boys laughed at Logan. He stared at them, confused, until Kendall subtly motioned to his mother.

"Let me go early, he says! I'll beat the crowd, he says!" Kendall mocked, his expression quickly changing to playful. Mrs. Knight placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head. Catching on, Logan tried to come up with a story to fit with the boys'. They were doing their best to keep him out of trouble.

"Sorry, Mrs. Knight. I ran a little late, and I wanted to beat the morning rush to Bleaker's Breakfast - as you can see. I just forgot my wallet." Logan lied, finding it easier to do so when he was short on breath. Mrs. Knight shook her head, chuckling as she sat back down. "Guys, I'm gonna take a quick shower and I'll meet you in the car." The boys knew what that meant. James smirked, and nodded, leading Carlos and Kendall out of the apartment.

Clearing his throat, Logan walked to the room he and the boys' shared, looking for a fresh set of clothes. He pulled the unused condom from his pocket, tossing it into the sock drawer after gathering what he would wear for the day. He showered as quickly as possible, cursing James for using all of the hot water. James made it a point to be the last one showering because of how much time he spent on his hair, so Logan knew he was the one who used up the last of it. Waving a goodbye to Mrs. Knight, Logan ran from the apartment, fleeing to the Big Time Rush car. James had taken to sitting in the front passengers' seat, while Kendall and Carlos were seated in the back.

"Logan, buddy!" James called, eager to start the conversation. Logan slid into the drivers' seat, taking the keys from James and starting the car. "Tell us the details, Logie! How was it? Was it awesome? Was it just _amazing_?" James wiggled his eyebrows, grinning cheekily. Kendall and Carlos leaned in, interested in hearing what Logan "Abstinence-should-be-law" Mitchell had to say about his first time.

"Nothing happened. I put the condom back in the sock drawer." he admitted, sighing heavily. Kendall, Carlos, and James groaned.

"You're lying!" James exclaimed, knowing that his practical friend was, in fact, telling the truth. "Dude, you- Why would… I can't even comment! I'm disappointed!" He crossed his arms, shaking his head as Logan drove. Bleaker's Breakfast, one of the more popular breakfast cafés in L.A, was only a block away from the Palm Woods. They could see it just a short distance ahead. The boys figured this brief ride wouldn't be enough to discuss the loss of Logan's virginity, but now that they knew nothing worth talking about happened, it didn't matter.

"She wasn't ready, and neither was I." With that being said, Logan pulled into the parking lot, and the boys jumped out of the car. There was a small crowd of people, but the boys had seen worse.

"So why were you out all night? And your clothes, dude - It looked like you just threw them on." Kendall stated, curious as to what had actually happened.

"We slept together. You know, like _just_ sleeping. I didn't want to leave." Logan replied simply, shrugging. The boys entered the café, and James shook his head again.

"I can't believe you didn't go through with it. I was totally gonna use it as an excuse to get out of your Goddamn little lectures." he pouted, shoving his hands into his pockets. Logan chuckled, a grin finally coming across his face.

"Come on, guys! Let's just order breakfast. I'm starving!" Carlos shouted, motioning to the moving line of people. The boys laughed at their eager friend, taking their place in the line.

* * *

**Feeling** the heat on her skin, Effy slowly began to stir. Her eyes opened, and the first thing she saw was the yellow sticky note on her hand. Rubbing her eyes with the other hand, she looked over the note, seeing what was obviously Logan's handwriting. He'd scrawled the note with makeup, and Effy laughed at imagining him do so. Still giggling, she clambered off of the bed, pulling clean clothes from her closet and heading into the bathroom. She tucked the clothes onto one of the racks, and when she turned, she froze. Laying on the edge of the counter was the case that held Dexter's contacts. She didn't remember leaving them there, but Dexter hadn't been in the apartment since the day she kissed Logan for the first time. Now that she thought about it, she still didn't have a clue where Dexter was.

Logan had been subtly pressing the matter, but Effy managed to avoid it. Once he saw the easier things he could help her with, he decided to approach those issues first. Effy didn't blame him for wanting to help her as quickly as possible, but she was uncomfortable with the idea of talking about Dexter. As normal as she was beginning to feel again, thinking about who Dexter really had been to her made her skin crawl. She never knew where he would be, and as "fine" as she seemed to be getting, she still feared that she saw him here and there. No one else seemed to notice him, so she didn't tell Logan about it. He worried enough for her.

As Effy showered, she tried to push the thoughts of Dexter from her mind. Though he'd given her and Oliver so much time and dedication, he so easily left them. Effy couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, as disgusted as he made her feel. He'd influenced her for the better, most times. Then there were the times she woke up feeling sore and discovered bruises on her skin. Dexter never helped her remember; he insisted she did it herself, but she couldn't place it in her memory. She once accused him of drugging her, but she couldn't remember his response. Frustrated with her lack of memory, Effy rinsed the soap from her hair and shut off the shower water. Wherever Dexter was, it didn't matter. Logan was helping her now, and she was slowly putting her life back together.

Slipping on her clothes, Effy picked up the bandages she typically tied around her arms. The abrasions that had once been so prominent were now scarring over and fading into her skin. She stared at them for a while, then set the roll of bandaging back in the drawer. With her clothes tossed into the laundry basket, Effy walked out into the living room, seeing Oliver on the sofa with his laptop in front of him. He heard his sister coming toward him, and quickly whipped around. His expression was a mixture of things; he seemed excited and hopeful, but at the same time, resentful and annoyed.

"Are you going to watch my surprise? You promised three days ago." Oliver stated, frowning. Effy felt a pang of guilt. She hadn't given her brother the attention she claimed to be giving. What she'd been doing in her time away from Logan, she couldn't remember. She knew there was dancing, but that was as far as her memory went. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Effy nodded. Oliver's frown instantly transformed into a broad grin, and he patted the space beside him. Effy sat, watching Oliver click on one of his video files. The video player popped up, and once it loaded, he clicked the full-screen button and set the laptop between him and his sister.

Set to the video was an older song that Effy remembered hearing as a child; that alone drew her to it. Images of their mother flashed on the screen, edited to merge with photos of them. There were dozens flying left and right in the video, and it progressed from them as children to who they were now. Effy saw a photo of her in the white dress her mother had given her for the Fall Dance, and she felt the memories of that night surface. The next few images were ones Effy didn't recognize, but she soon realized they had to have been taken while she was missing. Her mother looked depressed, and didn't seem to notice her picture was being taken. Then there were pictures of Effy and the boys, edited to look like pictures from the sixties. As the song progressed, Effy watched with amazement - Oliver had more talent than she recognized. The final photo of her and the boys flickered, and with each flash of light, one of the boys disappeared until only she and Logan were left. Then the photos Effy had seen of her and Dexter appeared. There were only a few, but even so, they were still in the video.

Shifting uncomfortably, Effy forced herself to continue watching, relieved when Dexter stopped appearing in the pictures. Now it was only Effy and Oliver. There were pictures that hadn't been grouped with the old photos of them as children, but these were special. These were photos Oliver didn't take. Their father had taken them. How Oliver managed to get them on the computer, or even find them, was a mystery to Effy. Even so, she was glad he did. The song reached its' climactic end, and the photos quickly flew by yet again. All of them were of Effy and Oliver. Finally, the flashing and swirling of colors and images stopped. A single photo zoomed in, and it broke Effy's heart. It was a picture of a drawing she made with Oliver after their first day of Kindergarten. Stick figures. Unprofessional, and seemingly unimportant, the drawing was something that brought billions of different memories to her brain. The drawing was of her and Oliver, and behind them stood their mother and father - before everything had turned to mayhem.

"Effy?" Oliver whispered, seeing his sisters' expression. He closed his laptop, afraid he'd done something wrong. Had she not liked it? Effy blinked, shaking her head. She gave him a smile, but her eyes hosted something he didn't like. Uncertainty.

"I love it, Olli! I didn't know you could do that… It's amazing, sweetie!" she exclaimed, genuinely happy with her brother. Oliver grinned bashfully, fidgeting with his hands. "I'm sorry I haven't been the best sister lately. There's been a lot I've had to think about. I promise I'll make it up to you, though." She gave him a more reassuring smile, and the doubtfulness slightly disappeared from her eyes. Oliver was hesitant in believing her, but hugged her all the same. She patted his back, and he wished she hadn't broken the contact. He had a bad feeling about the day, try as he might to ignore it. Effy stood up, pushing her hair behind her shoulders. As quickly as all the memories had bubbled to the surface, they disappeared just as fast. It was almost as if a vacuum sucked them back into the darkest depths of her mind. She feared how rapidly it worked.

"Where are you going, Eff?" Oliver asked, seeing her tying up her shoes. Effy paused, thinking about what she was preparing to say. Dexter had been the reason Oliver was never really allowed out of the apartment. Now that he was gone, was there really any harm in taking her brother out for some fresh air? She felt a completely new sense of guilt as that question surfaced; she'd been treating Oliver like a dog, for the most part. Sighing, she tossed her brothers' shoes to him.

"_We're_ going to the pool. Logan said he'd bring breakfast." Effy answered, smirking. Seeing Oliver's face liven, her smirk grew. He'd been itching to leave the apartment, and she hadn't paid any mind to it. Waiting for him to tie his shoes, Effy grabbed the key to the apartment. There was a strange aura of relief without Dexter around, but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel nervous. Something was wrong, but she couldn't place what it was.

"Come on, Effy! Let's hurry!" Oliver cried, hopping up with excitement. He had a new bounce in his step, and he ran out of the door once Effy opened it. She chuckled, locking the door and following him down the hall. He nearly sprinted to the elevator, and waited impatiently for it to reach the first floor. "You're going to eat breakfast, Eff?" His question made Effy freeze. Was she going to eat breakfast? She'd done good over the past few days, but there was still difficulty in getting started. She was hesitant, even now. Before she could come up with an answer, the elevator doors open, and Oliver bounded out. He wasn't just excited to be out of the apartment, but also to see his old friends. He missed the simple life in Sherwood even more than Effy did. His friends and his girlfriend were there, and though it had been a long time, he still thought of them.

"Olli? Dude!" Effy heard James shout, and she slowly neared the doors leading out of the lobby. Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos stood around Oliver, greeting him as if he had always been a part of their group. Effy watched them, prepared to join the boys until she saw the food on the table. There were portions for each of the boys, and beside where Logan sat was a plate clearly made for her. It had eggs, a pancake, and two strips of bacon. Compared to what the boys had out for themselves, it was almost nothing.

Effy pulled away from the exit, leaning against the wall. She didn't see just eggs, bacon, and pancakes. In her eyes, the food was almost mocking her. It tempted her, but gave her the horrendous feel of not having control. Her hand moved up to her stomach, and she pressed against it, sickened by the touch. Logan had never put out so much food for her, and she knew he expected her to eat it. She had promised Oliver some of it though! He would want more than just a piece of bacon and half a pancake.

_He can have it all._ Effy thought, her arms folding over her stomach as if she were sick. The boys were probably wondering where she was, but she didn't want to go outside anymore.

"Hey, you're Effy, right?" a voice asked, bringing Effy back to reality. She blinked, seeing the curly-haired girl that Logan said to be his ex-girlfriend, Camille. Her hand was outstretched, and she smiled brightly at Effy. "I'm Camille. We never had a chance to formally meet." Effy took Camille's hand, cautiously shaking it. "I haven't seen Dexter around lately. I, um, wanted to ask if the sheet music I found in the ballroom was his." Camille stepped towards the hall, pausing and giving Effy the idea that she wanted her to come along and confirm if the papers were Dexter's or not. Clearly, no one had filled her in on the fact that Effy hadn't seen Dexter in days. Finding she preferred going with Camille instead of facing the boys, Effy followed her to the ballroom.

_I've been here before._ Effy reflected, having vague memories of the room. She recognized the piano, and the small stage. Camille motioned to the sheet music that was on the piano, and Effy picked it up, scanning over the notes. It looked like Dexter's handwriting. Eying the page, Effy set it down, absent-mindedly strumming over the keys. She knew how to play this song; she had learned it somewhere…

"That's pretty good. Did Dexter teach you how to play?" Camille questioned, peering over Effy's shoulder. Effy closed her eyes, pondering the question. She was trying to figure that out. Where _had_ she learned to play the piano? She could remember sitting in front of one at a store, and that was one of the first times Dexter had spoken to Effy. Closing her eyes, she replayed the memory in her head.

"_You could play piano if you focused harder." a soft voice stated, startling Effy. For the past few days, she'd visited O'Connor's Music Shop, not bothering to make a purchase, but instead sift through the instruments that no one paid any mind to. O'Conner himself said they were junk, and if no one bought them in the next month, he would gladly give them to Effy. So there she sat, waiting for the days to pass. She played what few short songs she knew on the piano, never straying to other instruments. Piano was what she could do, and that was it. No one had ever bothered her, so hearing someone comment was entirely new. "I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Dexter." The boy was short, reminding Effy of Carlos. His hair was the same color as Logan's, if not a shade darker. His eyes reminded her of James, and the aura of confidence he carried reminded her of Kendall. Effy blinked, reminding herself that her friends were in L.A. She thought about them unhealthily, and she knew it was time to stop._

"_E-Effy." she finally responded. Dexter took a seat beside her, and though Effy looked around to see if anyone was watching, no one seemed to notice. He placed his fingers on the keys and played, pausing to look at Effy._

"_Copy me." he ordered, taking her hand and setting it on the keyboard. Effy did as she was told, almost immediately learning the song he played. She became engulfed in playing, and continued the song herself. It was as if she'd known how to play it all her life, she just needed some guidance with where to start. When she finally looked up again, Dexter had left._

_The next day, Dexter came to Effy again. He had a hot dog with him, and he insisted she eat it. Something about him made Effy oblige. She ate for the first time in a long while that day, and once again, he taught her how to play a song. This pattern repeated, and each time Effy made progress (whether with the music he taught, or personal progression), she grew attached to Dexter a little more. She desperately wished to make a deal with whatever God was out there, and change her place with him. She wanted to have his confidence, and his certainty. She wanted his strength._

"_How do you know all of this music?" Effy asked on her tenth day of playing with Dexter. He looked to her, mulling the question over._

"_I've studied the sheet music my father gave me every night since I was four or five. He died about that time." Dexter admitted. Hearing this information, Effy suddenly had a memory resurface. She had blocked it for quite some time, but thinking about it now no longer harmed her. Before her father had died, he had talked about the instruments she would do well with. Though she preferred dancing, she acknowledged her fathers' suggestions._

"_You know, it's funny, my dad was named Dexter." Effy chuckled, finding the coincidence bizarrely comforting. Dexter chuckled as well._

"_That's kinda weird, but cool, you know?" he replied, grinning._

"Effy? Are you okay?" Camille asked, her voice louder than normal. She'd been trying to get Effy's attention for two minutes. Effy shook her head, looking up at Camille. She was concerned, and that frightened Effy. Her eyes were searching her for answers, and if Camille looked any further, Effy felt she would see right through her. Fear surged through Effy, and she backed away from Camille, dropping the sheet music. Her hands trembled, and she gulped. "Effy, what's wro-"

"Stay away!" Effy shrieked, stumbling backwards. Camille paused, tilting her head to the side. Confusion swept over her face. "Don't- don't come near me!" Effy fell against the wall, her eyes darting around the room. Camille was going to see something was wrong, and she was going to tell everyone. Then there would be attention that Effy didn't want. Squeezing her eyes shut, Effy fled the ballroom, taking the stairs back to the third floor. Thoughts of Dexter were haunting her now, as if he were following her up the stairs, and down the hall to her room. Effy knew why, though. He _was_ following her. She knew where he was now. He'd always been there, he just never showed himself. He was craftier than she wanted to believe. "Dexter!" she shouted, running into her apartment. The door closed behind her, and the sound of it clicking shut echoed in her mind.

_**Tell me we both matter, don't we?**_

Effy could hear Dexter singing. She clasped her head, feeling the sensation she'd felt earlier when Oliver's video had sent all of her memories back into her brain. She tried sorting through them, but now wasn't the time. Shoving them out of her focus, Effy stepped further into the apartment, searching for Dexter. She could hear his piano playing, and his voice. She just couldn't tell where it was coming from. Whatever memories had finally emerged were fighting for her focus, making her head throb and ache.

_**The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.**_

The lyrics Dexter played mocked Effy. She screamed out of frustration. The room was spinning, and with every step she took, the door to her room seemed to distance itself further. She was in a nightmare, but she couldn't wake up. Dexter had to be on the other side of that door. Effy couldn't figure out if she really wanted to catch him, or turn the other way and make a run for it.

_**You and me won't be unhappy.**_

_What the hell am I doing here? _Sweat coated Effy's palms. Her heart sank into her stomach, weighted down by a fear that made her want to vomit. Registering the question, she found she had no answer. Much like a real dream, she couldn't control what she was going to do. There had never been any control for her, now that she thought about it, and that fact was sending her to tears. She could feel them burning in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. If she approached Dexter, they would fall back into their same routine. He would yell. He would hurt her. If he didn't hurt her, he'd give only a pathetic effort in trying to stop her from hurting herself. Before she knew it, her hand was on the doorknob, and she stepped into her room.

It was empty. Effy curiously walked into the center of the room, searching for Dexter. The bathroom door was closed - he had to been in there! She reached out, pushing the door open.

"Effy!" Dexter shouted, shoving her into the bathroom. She felt to the floor, wincing when she hit the tile. Dexter stood at the doorway, towering over her. Her scream caught in her throat, and came out as a violent cough, which shook her body. Dexter kneeled down, taking her throat in his hands. "You thought you could get rid of me! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! You need me, and you know it! What are you without me? Look at yourself!" Dexter lifted Effy up, shoving her into the mirror. It was still broken, and a few more shards of glass fell, but she saw her reflection. Effy winced, trying to look away, but Dexter forced her to remain there. He was back, and he was going to order her around again. Nothing had changed.

Closing her eyes, Effy tried to go numb. She tried to tune everything out. Dexter had disappeared, and came back as if nothing was wrong. He did whatever he wanted, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

_Leave._

A familiar voice spoke up in Effy's head, and slowly, she opened her eyes. In her reflection, she could see her mother. Effy reached out to feel the mirror, pricking her finger when she ran it over a piece of the glass that jutted out. Dexter squeezed her wrist, asserting his power over her. How could he have so much power though? Effy knew this question made sense, and ignoring it the way she had over the past five months was a mistake. He left when he wanted, and came back when he wanted. Why couldn't she leave when she got sick of him? What was keeping them together?

"Effy!" Dexter roared, pulling her around to face him. Suddenly, Effy's eyes were no longer filled with fear and hesitation. She stared at Dexter with an intimidating glare, and her blue-gray eyes made him falter. He stepped back, still glaring, but not having as strong of a stare.

"Cecile." Effy breathed, grabbing a long shard of glass from the counter. "I'm Cecile now." She hissed the last statement, throwing herself at Dexter. They fell to the floor, this time with Effy on top. She straddled him, glaring down into his eyes. He stared up with a mixture of anger and horror on his face, and Effy lifted the glass above her head. Screaming with a new feel for control, Effy brought the glass down, ramming it into Dexter's neck.


	18. Chapter 20: Writing to Reach You

**Author's Note: This is supposed to be the chapter that ends the story. That means 18 and 19 will be together in order. I decided a few chapters back, this is what I wanted. 6 and 7 had to be together, and so do 18 and 19. It just feels right to me, and I think it'll be easier on some readers to have those two consistent pieces in STM. Anyway, this chapter touches on what some of you might have missed in chapter 12. Yeah. So enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 20: Writing To Reach You

Carlos convinced Effy to sit in one of the wheelchairs in the hallway, and when she did so, he bolted down the hall, pushing her forward. James, Kendall, Logan, and Oliver ran alongside them, and Effy laughed when they fell into the elevator. Mrs. Knight and Katie were waiting for them all in the parking lot, knowing the group wanted to say their goodbyes. Instead of going through with saying their parting words, the six decided to wait until Effy was in the car that would take her to Meridell Achievement Center. They wanted to squeeze in just a few last moments of fun before their only sister was taken away.

As the boys walked Effy out of the hospital, the sunlight hit their faces, making them squint. Quickly though, their vision refocused, and they grinned upon seeing the ride they'd called for Effy. Her jaw dropped when she saw and realized it was for her. Looking up at each of the boys disbelievingly, she couldn't stop the incredulous chuckle that escaped her. The boys had gotten a limousine to drive her to Meridell's.

"Are you kidding?" Effy asked, taking in the sight before her. Once again, her eyes looked to each of her friends, and they nodded together. Logan took her hand, carefully pulling her up from the wheelchair.

"You didn't think we'd let you go to that place without any swag, did you?" James questioned doubtfully, rolling his eyes as if this were common knowledge. A small grin tugged Effy's lips upward, and she turned to face the rest of the boys. They were all watching, as if waiting for something to happen. None of them wanted to break the silence, because they knew once they did, the goodbyes would begin, and they would lose their friend for the second time. Knowing it would have to happen sooner or later, Effy took the three small steps to the limo, opening the door. She leaned against it, making eye contact with each of her friends for a few seconds.

"I'll write you guys as soon as I can… And once you get the exact address, mail me everyday. Okay?" Effy didn't want to leave. Not at all. However, if she could find herself - if she could finally figure out and decide who she really was - it would all be worth it. Logan, Kendall, Carlos, and James exchanged glances, while Oliver kept his eyes on his sister.

"We'll write you-" Logan began, only to be cut off by his friends.

"Everyday." James vowed.

"Each of us." Kendall added.

"We promise!" Carlos knew better than to make promises he couldn't keep; the boys had made sure to teach him that. However, this was something they were all going to promise with certainty. No matter what, they would get a letter to her every day. Family came first, and that wasn't going to change. A small smile stretched Effy's lips up, and she gave them a nod, confirming her faith in them. The boys understood what that meant. She wasn't just believing that they would keep this promise. Effy's faith in them, the faith that had sprouted the day they met, had returned. They weren't going to let her down anymore. She was convinced of it.

Unable to leave without doing so, Effy ran to the boys, hugging Oliver first. They held on to each other for a good minute, breaking apart reluctantly. Next, Effy grabbed Logan, pulling him into a tight hug. He savored the affection, knowing he wouldn't see her for possibly a very long time. Once they broke apart, he pressed his lips against her forehead, keeping the contact for a few long seconds. Kendall cleared his throat once the kiss lasted a moment too long, and Logan pulled away sheepishly. He quickly pecked Effy's cheek, and she turned to Kendall. He held his arms open, and she ran into them, her arms squeezing his waist. Resting his cheek on the top of her head, he hugged her for a minute before letting go. Effy's eyes shifted to Carlos, but he was faster than her. Lifting her in the air, Carlos crushed her against him in one of his bear hugs. She laughed, ruffling his hair once he set her down. Finally, she wheeled around to see James. He was standing with his arms open, just as Kendall had. Her smile stretching, Effy embraced him, giving him a gentle squeeze. James rubbed the upper half of her back, kissing the top of her head as well.

"Take care, kiddo." James whispered, pulling away after a moment. Effy smiled at each of the boys, letting her eye contact with Oliver last a minute longer. She opened the door to the limo, rolling down the window and slipping inside. Logan closed the door for her, and she reached out, taking his hand. Their eyes met, and with a sad smile, Logan leaned in, kissing Effy. When their lips broke apart, the limo slowly began moving forward. Effy's hand gradually slipped out of Logan's, and the boys all gathered around, watching the vehicle disappear down the long highway. Effy kept her head poked out, watching her friends become smaller and smaller, until she could see them no more. She rested in her seat once the boys were out of sight, staring at the sky. Closing her eyes, she focused on feeling the wind breeze against her skin.

Logan stood near the street even after the limousine was gone, and he could feel his friends' hands on his shoulders. Meridell's was far, but he would be thinking of Effy every second she was gone. All of the boys would. No matter what they were doing, or where they were, they would keep Effy on their minds.

* * *

_Boys,_

_I want to go home. I feel so alone here. This is the first letter they're letting me write. I'm sorry it took so long. Well… I wish I knew how long it's been. It feels like years. Everyday I wake up and it's Sunday. Everything was the same until today. The times ran together, and everything just felt… the same. It was like the day was rewound while I slept. The same nurses, clothes, colors, food… every single fucking thing. I almost stopped realizing what was a dream and what wasn't again. I'm hoping things get better, but I still want to go home. I miss you boys so much! By the way, how is Oliver? I haven't heard from him around here, so I'm guessing he passed his tests. Please… help him somehow to write me if you can. His handwriting never improved._

_Carlos? I thought about you earlier. There was a police car outside dropping someone off. It made me think of your dad, and you know, you. Remember when the rest of the boys had the chicken pox, so we stole candy for them? Your dad put us in handcuffs and… Well, you remember. Huh. I realized something. I'm remembering more lately. Maybe it's all the time I've had to think. Anyway, Kendall, I just started thinking about another memory. Remember that time in Sophomore year when you bet me three dollars you could snort the sugar from the sour Skittles packet? You ended up with a bloody nose, and you spent the money on someone' research paper so you wouldn't have to do it. What did you end up making on that, again?_

_James, I haven't forgotten about you. There's a lot of memories that come to mind. Right now I'm thinking about when we both had terrible hair. I can't believe you wore a hat so much and risked detention. Bald James wasn't so bad. I remember when Laurie Schnyder was teasing me about my hair, and then you tricked her into wearing that hat after you filled it with chewed gum. Logan… Remember the first night I spent at your house? Thank you… so much. I really owe you guys. I love you all so much. I miss you._

_-Effy_

It had been a week and a half since Effy departed for Meridell's. When her first letter came in, the boys were ecstatic. They tore open the small envelope right in the lobby, gathering around to read it. At first, the tone of it upset them. They could almost hear Effy's voice, panicked and scared. Then the fear shifted into something new. Something positive. Logan, Carlos, James, and Kendall could tell she was struggling, but at the same time, slowly finding small ways to cope. Getting her memories back was just the beginning of her recovery, and having that much done was a good thing to focus on.

Though the boys had spent the entire day at Rocque Records, training for another concert, they ignored the aches in their bodies to find pens and paper in the apartment. The day after Effy had left for Meridell's, Kendall asked his mother to buy stamps and envelopes for them, just so they could be prepared. Each of them took an envelope, stamping and addressing it before getting to their letter. Sitting at the table with Effy's letter in the center, they all pondered what to say. There were so many things on their minds before, but now they were blank.

Logan lifted his pen first.

_Effy,_

_It sounds terrible, but I know it'll be over soon. It's going to help you, and I know you want to be normal. I promised I'd take care of you now, and though I'd love to break you out more than anything, this is how I can help. I have to let you stay. Over here, time is going by just as slow. I miss you so much. Mrs. Knight got your release date though. It's possible it can change, for better or worse, but it's your birthday as of now. We only have a couple weeks, Eff. Don't worry, okay? You'll be home soon._

_On another note, I do remember the first night you spent in my room. I really regret not telling you how I felt that day we auditioned for Gustavo. Something could've been different. I hate thinking that I failed you, but no matter what I do, that's always at the back of my mind. It's not big deal now, anyway. You're going to be fine, and once I get you back, I'll never let anything hurt you again. I swear, I'll do everything in my power to keep you being Effy. I won't let you go again, okay?_

_Please stay strong for me. And I'm sorry that this letter couldn't be longer. The guys and I are training hard for concerts and stuff. It takes a lot out of us, but we're going to try and make our letters as good as possible. We'll send some to you every day from now on, even if you can't reply. Just keep looking forward to that. Don't let anything get you down, and keep your head held high… Maybe tomorrow will be Monday._

_-Logan_

Carlos watched Logan writing, and as his eyes wandered to his remaining two friends, he felt inspiration spark. He bent over his page, scrawling over it with his messy handwriting.

_Eff,_

_Logan misses you like crazy. I miss you too, in fact, we all really miss you. James doesn't want to date, I don't want to eat corndogs, and Kendall's going crazy with hockey. On top of that, we're really having a tough time singing some songs, because we get reminded of you. It's getting better though. I mean, we finally got a letter! We all know you'll be home soon. I can't wait to see you again! It'll be just like old times. Maybe we can ride out bikes like we used to. I'll even practice dancing with you, if you want. I'll teach you to dance to our songs. Logan said you might like that, and they're the only dances I know. Also, I wanna try mailing you some chocolate. Logan said it wouldn't be allowed. I'm mailing it anyway._

_So how is everything? Are you making any friends? Are there a lot of people there? What do they give you to eat? I heard hospital food is never good, but I hope it is there. I don't know what I'd do if I had to eat bad food for a whole month. Oh yeah, I do remember the candy thing. I'm gonna have to call Papi later and remind him. He thought it was so funny after it was all over. Oh, and Oliver was fine the last time I saw him. He got his test results back really quick, and they said he was okay. We got him a plane ticket back to Minnesota, and he called just a few days ago. He's living with your neighbor, and he seemed happy. We'll call him and tell him the address, if you want. Maybe he'll be allowed to call you though, since he's family. Anyway, I'm kinda really sleepy, so I think I'll stop writing here. I hope this letter makes your day, cause I know yours made mine. Goodnight Effy!_

_- Carlitos_

Satisfied with his letter, Carlos opened his envelope, tucking the neatly folded page inside. He securely closed the envelope after licking the sticky edges, and set it down in front of him. They would take the letters down to their mailbox together once they were all done. Smiling, he watched Logan, James, and Kendall. Logan seemed to be nearing completion with his message to Effy, but Kendall hadn't even started. Blowing out a gust of air, the blonde pushed his hair back and picked up his pen. With most things he did, he'd wing it.

_Ayo Eff,_

_How are you? You of all people should know how I'm not good with these types of letters, so a lot of this will sound awkward. I'm not really sure what to write. Well, I uh, we all went to a rave about a day or two ago. I'm not sure how long it'll take for this letter to get to Meridell's but… I'll date it so you can tell me. Anyway, Logan didn't want to go. He's been drowning himself in schoolwork. Our end of course exams are coming up, I know, but I think he just wants to avoid having fun without you. We all feel bad it came to this, but we know we'll make it past the sorrow. We know you're gonna come back, and everything will go back to normal. Or, as normal as it ever gets with us. At least I know it. Everything's gonna be okay. We just have to make the best of what we have. Well… now that my cheesy rant is over… Wow, I told you I never having anything good to say._

_Um… Why did you have to remind me of the Skittles thing? That really hurt, in case you didn't notice. And it wasn't even like I snorted some coke or something. That's pretty much a great way to figure out that trying cocaine isn't at all cool. And I made a decent C+ for your information! I'm pretty sure Mrs. Yates knew I bought that paper… It doesn't matter. We're Seniors now, you know? That's so cool, if you think about it. You could probably take a speed course over the summer and get a diploma here. We'll talk to our teacher about it. She's really nice. You'd like her. She reminds me of Cecile. Is it okay to talk about her? If not… Well, I'm really sorry, and I guess I'll know better next time._

_Oliver went back to Minnesota, but he's doing just fine. We're keeping tabs on him just like we are with you. I know how much he means to you. This letter is getting worse and worse as I write, so I'm quitting for tonight. Love you, Eff._

_-K dawg_

As Kendall wrapped up on his letter, James was in the middle of his. He was stuck thinking of what to say, and his start showed that perfectly. He was just as bad as Kendall sometimes when it came to speaking.

_Effy,_

… _My mom called me. It was just a day after you were sent to Meridell's. That's a terrible way to open a letter, huh? Doesn't really seem like me. Call it a coincidence, or maybe just really weird fate, but she called for me. She contacted my dad, and wanted to talk to me. She's doing better - I can tell, just by hearing her voice. I've missed her so much. You don't realize how relieved I am she's alive. She wished me well, and apologized. Eff, I'm sorry for anything I said that hurt you. I'm so, so sorry. You're still my best friend. Things feel fine now, you know? Once we get you back, our biggest problem is gonna be sharing the pizza when we order take-out._

_There's not much I have to say, other than I miss you. All of us miss you, and I really can't wait for you to get home. You belong here, you know? You're one of the few people who really mean something to me, and I hate not having you around. You gotta know how much you mean to all of us. Stay strong for us, okay? Promise me that you'll come home with confidence, and you'll be the Effy we all love. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always write me. I know you know you can write all of us, but hey, we all know I'm the best. Haha, love you Eff. Hope you're doing well sweets._

_- James  
_

At last, all of the boys had their letters sealed up. Glancing around at each other, they grabbed their envelope, standing up and walking out of the apartment to the mailboxes. Once the letters were safely tucked away in their mailbox, the boys headed back to the apartment, ready for bed. The day had been exhausting, and as they plopped down on their beds, sleep quickly overtook them.

With the exception of Logan.

He tossed and turned for a good hour, hearing each of the other boys fall into their own slumber. Logan rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling wide awake. Effy was a fresh idea in his mind again. She had slowly been falling behind other things that needed his attention, but now she was front and center. He didn't want to let her image fade. His heart began to ache, and he sat up, knowing it was useless to try and force himself to go to sleep. Carefully, he crawled out of bed, tip-toeing into the living room. Flipping on the light switch, he picked up his pad of paper, pen, and prepared another envelope. Sitting on the couch, he folded his legs, resting the notepad on his knee as he bent over it.

_Effy,_

_I can't sleep, so I'm writing you a second letter. Tell me if it's too much. The guys and I are going to try and write everyday, like I said before. Again, we get really busy with work sometimes, but I promise we'll try our hardest. So… It's midnight, and I have a test tomorrow for Trig. I'm the only one taking that level of math, so I'll be alone in that classroom. I remember what you and Carlos used to say about being alone with teachers. I'll try not to let her eat my soul (there was sarcasm in that, just so you know). Well anyway, there's really not much going on, so I'm not sure what to say._

_What all are you doing? I know there has to be therapy sessions, but are they okay? I mean, are you okay? Are people being nice? Are you on a really strict schedule? Sorry for being nosy, but you know I can't help it. I love you, Effy._

_- Logan_

Finding the short message to be suitable, he tucked it in the envelope. While writing, Logan had sank into a laying position. The envelope was in front of his face, but he found he didn't want to get up. He was comfortable on the couch. Blinking a few times, his eyelids slowly drooped, until they closed completely. He didn't mean to, but he ended up passing out on the couch. That night, he had a dreamless sleep. Over the past week, most of his dreams had been of Effy, but for the first time, he was glad to have an empty mind.

The next afternoon, after their first day of end-of-course exams, the boys gathered around the pool to write their second day of letters to Effy. Their promise wasn't going to be broken if they could help it, and while every other Palm Woods' kid enjoyed the summer afternoon, the boys enjoyed their time away from any and everything. James, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall found a special type of peace when they lost themselves in their letters to Effy. It took them back to when things were simple and perfect.

_**EFFY!**__ Guess what? There's a new girl at the Palm Woods! Guess who it is! Norah Jimenez! Remember the girl in my magazine? It's her! The guys are gonna help me ask her out! You'll be her friend when you come back, right? Then when me and the guys have dude time, you, Jo, Norah, and Camille can have girl time. I know you'll love them. They're really nice, and they're cool like you. I can't wait for you to get home! OH! Remember that video game I taught you to play? With the cars? The newest one came out, and I really wanna play with you. We can play again once you get home - I'll reteach you if you forgot! Love you, Eff!_

_- Carlos_

_P.S. Logan gets mad when I ask if you remember things, but I know you're getting better. __J_

_**Do**__ you ever wish you could take something back? I really wish, sometimes, I never took the offer to come to L.A. I feel bad for letting everything come to this. I'm supposed to be the leader. I'm supposed to be the one with all the answers. Yet I feel so fucking helpless. I didn't think about you when I should have. I'm sorry, Effy. You're supposed to be one of my friends, and I treated you like shit. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for venting this to you. I just really wish you could come home already. Nothing feels right sometimes, and I can't… We all can't really talk to each other. There's something on everyone's mind, but none of us can come clean. We really want you home, but we're gonna wait it out. We want what's best for you, and right now, your health comes first. Other than that… I guess everything around here is fine. We're having another tour soon. Hopefully you'll be able to catch a show. You'd be proud - we dance a lot better than we used too. XOXO_

_- Kendall_

_**I'm**__ drawing a blank here. I can't find anything you might think is interesting. If you remember, I'm a really boring person. I think I did good on my exams, but I'm worried about how the guys did. This whole week has me stressing out. There's finals, concert rehearsals, and just… everything's kinda getting to me. I really can't wait for June. You'll be home, school will be over, and the concert will just be something to get over with. I wish this letter could be longer, but if I don't close my eyes and go to sleep soon, they're going to bleed. I really love you, Effy. Please keep that in mind while you're at Meridell's. I miss you._

_- Logan_

_**There's**__ a lot on my mind, Eff. I feel bad I haven't sent one simple, carefree letter yet. You have enough on your plate, you know? It's just… I think I talked to you about all of my problems more than the guys. I mean, I talk to them, but it was different with you. They get what I say cause they're guys, but when you listen… I can't really explain it. Even to myself. I know there's something there. You're the only girl I've ever felt that way with. Effy, I feel so terrible. Once I say this, even if it doesn't make me feel better, can you promise we won't tell Logan? I just want to let it go. Effy, I love you. I love you so fucking much, babe. I love you… I'm sorry, Eff._

_- James_

Once the boys were done with the letters for the day, they sealed them with different moods. Carlos was excited as always, but Kendall, Logan, and James were at different levels of depression. None of them paid any attention to the other, so none of them saw there were things wrong. Their masks of happiness were working, even on each other. Although things seemed to be getting better, they were the same, if not worse. The boys refused to really talk about it.

Upon receiving the letters and reading through them, Effy quickly realized this.

For only a day, she waited for the responses from her friends. When they came in, Effy was beside herself with delight. Over the time she'd spent at Meridell's, she'd become so used to routine. Writing a letter was nice, but getting so many back was astounding. Therapy was gradually becoming more bearable, as was the solitude she faced. Everyday passed wearily, and at first, Effy wasn't bothered too much. Then the slow hours began to blend together. She lost her sense of time again, and as she'd told the boys, she was losing her grip on what was real. Against her instincts, she told her therapists. No change came in the beginning. Every moment was the exact same. Whenever Effy had free time in her room, she was still monitored. She would sit in the wooden chair by her window, trying to overlook the bars and imagine the breeze outside. After just a few days of the same exact pattern, she felt she was going to lose her mind. It was all she could do to keep from screaming at night.

Now that Effy had the letters from her family, she felt a sense of peace. Fervently, she ripped open the envelopes. Nurses were standing a ways from her, but she couldn't feel them watching anymore. She was too happy to have the messages. Though Effy wanted to read them in private, she understood that it was too soon for her to be trusted on her own. Only two weeks ago, she'd tried to kill herself. Time still needed to pass before she could be reliably left alone, and she was beginning to accept that. Shaking away the distracting thoughts, Effy returned her focus to the envelopes. They were in alphabetical order, first Carlos, then James, Kendall, and finally Logan. A smile stretching widely across her face, Effy read through the first letter quickly. She read through them all once. Twice. Then a third time. She wanted to hug the papers!

Grinning, Effy looked up to the pad of paper and pen that had been laid out on the table. Glancing around carefully, she reached for the pen. The nurses were on full alert now, but when Effy took hold of the pen and paper, and actually began writing, their alertness was lowered just a little. Effy was alone in the cafeteria, sitting at one of the larger tables. She found she liked it that way now; no one would question her letters, or try to peer over her shoulder. She could move into a new little world and be with the boys again. It didn't matter that every color she saw in the hospital was white - from the uniforms, to the rooms and tile. It didn't matter that nothing changed from day to day. While writing her letters, Effy could be herself again. She could feel the boys' strength easing her along in her recovery, even if they weren't at their strongest themselves.

_Carlos,_

_Oh, my little Carlitos is growing up! This will be your first girlfriend, huh? I know you'll get her. The good guys always get the girl. So, I'll be writing Kendall about the dancing since both of you mentioned it, and I'm making both of you promise we'll learn every dance together. As for the video games, we'll make time for that too. We'll stay in our pj's, order some pizza, and play the game until our fingers are numb. And you know what? I think girl time will be healthy for me. Hanging out with you boys is fun, but I do need to branch out. That reminds me - I was let outside today. The nurses were walking me to the cafeteria so I could write my letters, and we walked outside for a little bit. I really missed it, like, more than I thought I would._

_Anyway, I haven't really been able to talk to other patients here, so I haven't made new friends. I don't really mind, though. The food is… tolerable. It's tastier than what we were given at school, actually. By the way, I heard Big Time Rush on the radio! There were some other patients listening to it outside… I really like it. Will you boys sing for me when I come home? I hope so. Love you Carlitos!_

_- Effy_

_James,_

_I'll always be here to listen. I'm never going to abandon you, okay? I can almost hear you reading this to me… No, I __**can**__. I hear you perfectly, and I understand. I swear on my life, I will always understand. I'll love you forever James, but the way I love Oliver. I'm sorry it isn't enough. I won't tell Logan, but I really do think you should talk to him about it. I won't say anything more on the subject now. Your secret is safe with me. It always will be. I love you, James._

_Take your mind off of me for a little while. Do anything you can to get yourself back into that James persona I know and love. Promise me you'll do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. I'll try my hardest to help, I promise. Keep your chin up, Jamie. I'm sorry this advice is so lame, but you know me. Take care, kiddo, okay? I'll be happy if you're happy. Deal? I miss you, and the rest of the boys, so much._

_- Effy_

_Kendall,_

_You say you don't know what to write, and you give me the longest letter! I miss you to death. You never fail to make me laugh. I could really use that now. I'm pent up in my room a lot. I know you know how we both hate that. At least I get my own room though. We all know I'm not good with strangers. Which reminds me, I really owe you boys for spending your money on my stay here. You didn't have to get me so many luxuries! I promise I'll pay you back. Once I get out, I'll send more audition tapes, and hopefully get a good dancing job. You and Carlos both have to promise you'll teach me all of your dances. I told him in his letter about that. You boys will teach me your dances. All of them._

_By the way, talk to the rest of the guys. You aren't communicating, are you? There's a lot of similar tension in your letters, and I'm worried. Don't let too much get to you. Everything will turn out fine, and all the loose ends will be tied up. I promise._

_- Effy_

_Logan,_

_Calm down! I can feel the stress in your handwriting! Take a breather, okay? From what the boys say, it sounds like none of you know what to do. Like you want to move on, but you're not sure how. I don't get why you boys aren't talking like we used to. You all need it. I'm fine here. It's okay to move on! I'll catch up, alright? I swear. Everything WILL work out. Now as for Meridell's, it's still repetitive. I only took a breath of really fresh, outdoor air today. I was admitted as a level C patient, meaning super strict security. I can't shower or go to the bathroom on my own. My room is padded, and for the first week, I had to be strapped to my bed. They have this soft mouthpiece I had to wear too. You'd be surprised how many ways there are to hurt yourself. It's still tempting, I'm sorry to say. I'm getting better though, I know it. Anyway, I have to be supervised while writing my letters, and it's a little weird. The nurses are nice though. They respect my space. I pretty much can spend all of my free time writing to you if I want. The rest of my time goes to therapy. I spend one hour with Dr. Chisholm, then two to three hours of group therapy with Dr. Kramer. They're trying to figure out which medication(s) would be good for me. I can't wait for them to finally pick something. I'm ready to go home. I hate not having you around. I love you… so much._

_And thank you for taking care of Oliver. I'll see if there's any way I can contact him. In the meantime, send him my love. I miss you all… Just stay strong for me. That's all I want now._

_- Effy_

Finishing up on her replies, Effy folded them neatly, turning to find an envelope. One of the nurses noticed her, and immediately approached her.

"You're finished?" she asked, holding out her hand to take the papers. Effy nodded and handed them over carefully, watching the other nurses gather her things. Seeing the curiosity on Effy's face, the nurse who took her letters quickly began explaining. "We're taking your letters to your room. Dr. Chisholm said it was the appropriate time to let you have some freedoms. Tomorrow I believe she's taking you outside for a walk." Upon hearing this, Effy's face brightened exponentially. She could feel a small weight lifting from her heart at the tangible sovereignty. It wouldn't be much longer, especially if what Logan said was true. She would only be gone a couple more weeks, and then she would be able to return home.

That night, Effy wasn't strapped in to her bed.

* * *

As the morning wore on, Effy proudly ate her breakfast. It was a simple pancake, with a small serving of eggs and sausage, but that was a great feat for her. Dr. Kramer certainly thought so. He notified Dr. Chisholm, and once Effy was finished, she arrived to take her on the walk. Effy had been looking forward to it all night, and as the doors opened, allowing the warm breeze to blow against her face, everything seemed better than she could've imagined. The grass was greener, the flowers were brighter, and the daylight gave her the strongest sense of security - almost the same amount the boys gave her. Effy spun around as she walked with Dr. Chisholm, thinking about the song she'd heard from the boys. It's melody and lyrics took her to a new level of serenity, and she found herself not wanting to lose this moment. She cherished it for a good while, standing still on the sidewalk until she was satisfied.

_**Tuck you in, every night on the phone.**_

"Effy? I have some news I think you might like," Dr. Chisholm stated, watching Effy continue to walk with a dreamy gaze. "You're being moved to level B. That means no more strapping in at night, more walks outside, private bathroom breaks, and you'll be able to write letters by yourself. I still have to escort you outside, but I'll be taking you on walks every day. Therapy will stay the same. Do you think you can handle that?" Effy's doctor spoke to her as if she were a child, but she knew it was for her best interest. She was coming to terms with that, just as she was accepting everything else. Effy pondered the question for a moment, smiling at the thought of the simple liberties. Being eased back into normalcy was proving to be much more effortless than she first believed it to be.

"Can I sleep under my bed?" Effy finally asked, meeting her doctors' stare. Dr. Chisholm seemed confused. "It's a good memory I have… I'm protected there." Seeming to understand, Dr. Chisholm tilted her head to the side, then nodded. A broad grin stretched across Effy's face, and she continued to walk.

When the hike was over, and Effy was escorted to her new room, she stared out of the window, watching the clouds move in the sky. She hugged her knees to her chest, letting her mind drift to Logan, Kendall, James, and Carlos. At that very moment, they were healing themselves, talking out every doubt and struggle they faced. Somehow, Effy could just feel things were slowly falling into place. Peering at the desk in the corner of the room, she stepped out of bed, walking over and finding pens and paper. Absent-mindedly, Effy sat down, looking at the clean sheet of paper before her.

_Dear Logan,_

_It's Wednesday._

_Love always,_

_Elizabeth Stephanie Valmont_

_A.K.A. Effy_

Everything was going to turn out okay.

There was no doubt about it.


	19. Chapter 18: Creep

**Author's Note: Wow. I took my final state test ever. Time is a mind fuck. So, to spread around my joy, I'm posting the last two chapters of STM. One tonight, and one tomorrow (or later tonight, depending on how fast I edit). Now, the music video for **_**Strength Through Music**_** really comes into play here - or at least the song does. Yeah, just the song. The ticks in the story come from it, and you'd have to hear it to understand. Next chapter, everything will come to a close, and all the questions about Effy and Dexter will be answered. Anyway, back to the song. From the beginning, I said the songs' meaning wasn't directly in this story. I pulled what I heard from it. General insanity. That's what it made me think of. How/Where does it begin? Could it ever really stop? Etc.**

**So, there's some nice memories in here. I personally thought these moments were lovely in my brain, so I had to find a way to wedge them in the story. I think it came out nicely. Please, leave a review and tell me your thoughts on it. I do hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 18: Creep

"_Effy? We saw your bike outside."_

"_Come on, Eff, we know you're here!"_

"_Effy! You missed school today - what happened?"_

"_We have nachos!"_

_Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos entered the empty house, each of them having their own comment to offer. The house was dusty and dimly lit, just as it always was when they broke in. Since they could remember, this house had been abandoned, and they took the liberty to make it their clubhouse. Whenever they needed time just for each other, the abandoned house on 1416 Schyler Street was where they went. Effy hadn't come to school that day, and when she wasn't at her house, they knew she had to be here._

_On the floor, Effy's radio played her CD of dance music. She was no where to be seen, however. Logan kneeled down by the radio, clicking the switch and turning off the music. The last of the song echoed in the house, slowly fading out. Carlos held his bowl of nachos, popping a few into his mouth as they walked around. Kendall and James cautiously neared the stairs, having heard footsteps. It was eerie to be in the house when it was so quiet, but they were determined to find Effy. She never missed school, which prompted Logan and Kendall to show concern. James and Carlos didn't think too much of it (mainly because they missed more school than Effy, Logan, and Kendall combined), but when they tried to visit Effy and her mother said she was dealing with personal issues, their concern finally stemmed._

"_Eff? Effy-Effy-Effy-Effy!" Carlos nearly sang, walking through the wide, empty space of the first floor living room. He stuffed more of the tortilla chips in his mouth, licking the cheese from his fingers as he approached James and Kendall._

"_Hey Logie, come over here. I think she's upstairs." Kendall stated, taking the first few steps to the second floor. Having no need for any more space, none of the boys had ever really gone upstairs. Doing so now when there was such a creepy vibe in the air unsettled them. There was a distant sound of water running, and the boys exchanged glances. The quartet roamed the hallway, searching for the source of noise._

_Knowing that her friends were in the house, Effy tried to ignore them, but she knew all too well they would find her anyway. She sat against the bathroom door, staring at the basket she'd received from her mother. There were chocolates, salty chips, sour pickles, and random soaps. Effy knew her mother meant well, and the fact that she craved chocolate now helped, but she still felt the treatment her mother was giving was a bit much. Staring at the wrapper in her hand, she sniffed at the strawberry scent, finding small comfort in it. She'd been washing her hands with the soap for the past hour, having nothing else to do. After receiving the basket from her mother, Effy found she wanted to be alone, and her room wasn't enough. Cecile seemed to understand._

"_EFFY!"_

"_AH!" Effy screamed, frightened by the sudden roar. The boys shouted her name in unison outside of the bathroom door. Seeing as it was the only one closed, they knew Effy had to be there. Hearing her scream only confirmed their suspicions. She clenched her fists, her eyebrows furrowing. One of the boys knocked on the door, trying to open it._

"_Effy, what's going on? Open up, it's just us!" Kendall yelled, kicking at the door. The boys waited for a response, and after a few seconds, the door flew open. Effy took a step out of the bathroom, throwing her hands against Kendall's chest and pushing him down. He fell to the floor, his eyes wide with surprise. James, Carlos, and Logan didn't move. They couldn't believe what just happened. Kendall rubbed his elbow as he sat up, looking to Effy. He was a mixture of confused and angry when he saw a red stain in her shorts. It was near the top of her thigh, and somewhat small, but still noticeable. "Eff, you're bleeding!" Kendall pointed, and the boys followed his finger. Effy's eyes widened and she disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her._

"_Open the door! You're bleeding!" James ordered, pounding on the door._

"_Nobody bleeds like that unless they're cut!" Carlos added, trying to turn the doorknob. Logan helped Kendall back onto his feet and all of the boys tried forcing the door open. Once they tired, and their bangs on the door stopped, Effy opened it again. The boys were still there, and when they tried to come in, she threw her basket of treats out at them, shutting the door yet again._

_Carlos, Logan, James, and Kendall looked at the packages of food and colorful wrappers that flew from the basket, picking them up and sharing confused stares. Their friend was acting crazy, and they didn't get what was going on. Not even Logan - the know-it-all, the one who always had the answers - knew how to explain her behavior. Carlos opened one of the chocolate bars, sharing a piece with James and looking to Kendall and Logan, who were deep in thought. On the other side of the door, Effy was silent. She wanted them to go. They couldn't be here now!_

"_Leave me alone, guys! And don't talk to me for five to seven days!" Effy cried, thinking of what her mother had told her. Once again, the boys exchanged glances, not knowing how to respond to their friend._

_Eventually, they left Effy with small, unreturned goodbyes, half worried about her, and half curious. She would explain subtly at school the next day what happened, and receive mixed reactions from the boys. Carlos wasn't going to understand, James and Kendall would give an awkward type of compassion to her, and Logan wouldn't know what to do or say. He wouldn't even know if it was acceptable to look at her. Then Effy would apologize, and they would continue being best friends._

**_Tick tick tick tick tick…_**

* * *

"_We should start a band, dude. I kinda like playing guitar." Kendall stated, ruffling James' hair. James scowled and quickly fixed the stray locks, frowning up at the blonde. Carlos was still hitting his pencils against his books, watching his friends._

"_A band?" James questioned, rolling his eyes._

"_I'm serious! You can sing, and I've sorta got this guitar thing going on. Carlos… he can work on the drumming." Kendall suggested, a hopeful grin on his face. He wasn't serious about the idea, contrary to what he said, but he still liked imagining it. Being famous hockey players was always the number one dream, but in case that didn't work out, Kendall formed dozens of outlandish backup plans. Either way, they'd all be together._

"_I wouldn't join a band with you in a million years. You rebel too much." James teased, pushing his friends' arm._

"_Well how about five?" Kendall offered jokingly, laughing when James' face scrunched. The three eighth graders sat at their usual table, waiting for the first bell to ring and start the school day. It was a Friday, much to their relief, and Friday was the normal blow off day for McCoy Middle School. The only thing they had going on was a lab in their science class, and one of them was more than likely going to be paired with Jenny Tinkler. She was infamous for her clumsiness, which made all of them wish they weren't so kind._

"_You have to be in the most random mood!" James exclaimed, hitching his book bag over his shoulder. Kendall shrugged and placed his guitar in its' case, still wearing his silly grin. "Which reminds me, where's Logan? And Effy?" Carlos and Kendall thought about the question, neither knowing the answer. Logan and Effy were usually the first two people at school in the morning. Typically, Logan never missed a day of school. Effy would be absent occasionally, but she seemed perfectly fine all week._

_While Carlos, Kendall, and James tried to figure out where their friends might be, Logan was busy looking for Effy. He had been sitting at the table, waiting for everyone to show up, when Effy arrived. His face was buried in his newest volume of Medical Diaries, a thick magazine he'd become quite fond of, so he failed to notice Effy's mother drop her and Oliver off. Usually, he would walk with Effy and Oliver to his classroom before going back to their table to wait for the rest of the boys, but she walked right passed him that morning. Oblivious as always while reading, Logan didn't realize she was there. Once Effy had dropped Oliver off in his classroom, she walked back out to the courtyard, seeing Logan was setting down his book. As he turned for a stretch, Effy bolted into the science building. Logan barely saw her, but the small glimmer of her candy apple red hair gave her away. He gathered his belongings and ran inside after her, trying to find where she went._

_Minutes trickled by, and the rest of the boys showed up, only to find that Logan and Effy weren't at their table. He was still looking for Effy, and just as he was prepared to give up, he remembered the upstairs bathrooms that no one ever used. None of the plumbing worked, so no one ever bothered to stop there. Upon discovering this, the boys and Effy made it their designated place to go to if they wanted to skip a class (much to Logan's disapproval) or hang out to discuss serious matters. He scurried up the stairs and around the corner to the bathrooms, stopping once he was outside of the door. He didn't know what to expect…_

"_I still don't get why you'd do it, Eff. I mean, if you were going to regret it like this…" Logan stated, sitting against the wall and staring at the pile of hair in the corner of the room. Effy was hiding in one of the stalls, covering her head with her hood. The scissors she used to hack off her long hair lay forgotten in the sink nearest to the window._

_Logan had hesitantly entered the bathroom, appalled by what he saw. Effy stood before the only unbroken mirror, holding up locks of her hair and cutting through it mindlessly. She didn't seem to detect that Logan was watching her, and she cut through all of her hair, dropping it on the floor. It was a little shorter than James' hair, and the way her eyes glazed, staring emptily over it, scared Logan. She wasn't in her right mind, he could see that much. He whispered her name, just loud enough for Effy to hear. Her head whipped around in his direction, and she dropped the scissors. The clatter of metal in the sink echoed throughout the room. She glared at him for a long while, then observed her reflection, running her fingers through her hair. A tear slid from her eye, down her cheek, and dripped off of her chin. Suddenly, she screamed, startling Logan. Her eyes shut and she fled into one of the stalls, locking herself in._

_Now Logan was waiting for her to come out, worried about why she was acting so strange. Only once had he seen her act so bizarrely before, and that had been years ago. It was the first day of school, right after the fire that had destroyed their cafeteria. Effy had collapsed, and began convulsing and screaming nonsense. No one knew what was happening, and everyone had quickly become afraid of Effy. That was her defining moment. That was what made Effy the quiet girl without a lot of friends. If it hadn't been for Logan, who was curious about her behavior, and pitied her, she probably would've been alone throughout her school life._

"_Oliver's growing up." Effy declared, her voice steady. Logan waited for her to continue, but she didn't. She remained quiet._

"_What does that have to do with anything?" he questioned, clearly puzzled. There were times Effy made little sense to him, but it was never like this. He didn't know how to approach this situation, which uncomforted him. What could he say to her? What was she going to do?_

"_He needs a role model." Effy answered after a long while. Her tone indicated that this answer was the answer to everything Logan could question her with, but it still made no sense. He opened his mouth to speak, but before a single syllable could get out, the bell rang. "Just go to class, Logan. I didn't… I don't want to be m- Just GO! You can't help me now."_

_In all honesty, Logan wanted nothing more than to see Effy. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. He wanted to be able to comfort his friend. When it came to the guys, they were always stronger than him. With Effy, however, he was stronger. He could be the shoulder to cry on. Although he wanted to help, he knew there was no use. Class was going to start, and Effy was stubborn. Sighing, Logan left her, pondering what she said. He couldn't help her now? He thought about it on the way to class, and all throughout first period. Only when he met with the guys in their second period science class did he tell them what happened. It was then he decided for himself what Effy meant. He couldn't help her at the moment, but he would try again later. Logan didn't realize that she meant something more. Deep down, she knew she couldn't be helped by him. Not then, and not ever._

_Effy spent all morning in the bathroom. She vented her frustrations on the walls of the stall, hurting herself more than she did the wood. She mourned over her hair, unable to come to terms with what she'd done to it. In her mind, everything made sense, but she simply couldn't grasp it. All she wanted was to be a boy for Oliver. If anyone could be his role model, she could._

_During lunch, the boys came to her, showing Effy what Jenny Tinkler had done to James' hair. Seeing the large patches that had fallen out, she smiled. She felt bad for James, but knowing he was going to embrace embarrassment with her gave her security._

**_Tick tick tick tick tick…_**

* * *

_Everyone had heard about what happened. Everyone was talking about it, because in Sherwood, there was really nothing else to discuss..._

_Seventh period ended, and the boys were meeting at their lockers. They waited for Effy, knowing she usually came a little later because she had gym. However, while they were waiting, they overheard the girls next to them talking. They mentioned 'Valmont', Effy's last name._

"_Excuse me, what happened?" Logan asked, moving towards the girls. They exchanged glances, then stared at Logan as if they couldn't believe he had the nerve to talk to them. James pulled Logan back, stepping in front of him. He knew where the conversation was going: nowhere. At least not until he got involved._

"_We heard you talking about Effy, and we're just curious." James stated, his voice smooth and alluring. He turned on his charm for these girls, and immediately the boys saw it work. They smiled flirtatiously, twirling their hair around their fingers._

"_Well, since you asked so nicely… We were playing field hockey, and she didn't block Amanda Jenkins when she had the puck, so Melissa Tarver shoved her face in the mud and called her a dyke." one of the girls explained, both of them giggling when she finished. Kendall's eyes narrowed, as did Logan's. Carlos frowned, knowing Effy couldn't handle bullying well. James continued to smile at the girls, never faltering. "So, James, do you have any plans for Spring Break?" He cleared his throat, stuffing his hands in his pockets._

"_Not with you, slags." he answered, grinning. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos snickered, watching the two girls gawk. James turned away, leaving with the boys. Once they were outside, he high-fived them, knowing that he'd just passed up two potential dates. It was for Effy though, and he would do it again without question. "Come on, let's go find her." The statement was much easier said than done; at least that's what they thought. When they approached their bikes, they saw that Effy's was still chained up. Glancing at one another, they abandoned their bikes and headed back into the school. If Effy was anywhere on the high school grounds, she was in the empty room on the third floor. Her free period was spent there, and she danced the hour away. There was no other place the boys could imagine her going to._

_Jogging up the stairs, the boys raced each other to the empty lab at the end of the hall. They could hear music echoing from the stairs, confirming that Effy was in her usual spot. Nearing the door, the boys peered through the doorway, seeing that Effy wasn't dancing at all. Music played from her small radio, but she stood by the window, completely still. It was open, and the boys could feel the cool air blowing in. They watched Effy for a moment, trying to see what she was doing, or what she was going to do. Logan saw she had scrapes on the side of her arm, and wondered if they were a result from Melissa's assault._

_Effy didn't move for an entire minute. She was rigid where she stood, staring out of the window at the people below. Her hair was at her shoulders, having taken about a year to grow back. James endured small teases, but he could hold his own. He knew how to stand up for himself, so his teasing wasn't as harsh as Effy's. Besides, James' hair loss was blamed on Jenny. Effy had butchered her hair on her own, because she was __**weird**__. Sighing, she turned, freezing when she saw the boys standing by the door._

"_Hey." they said together, sheepishly smiling and waving._

"_You okay?" Carlos asked, approaching Effy. Her eyes lowered, and she blushed. The boys could see the right side of her face was slightly more red, most likely due to her scrubbing off the mud._

"_Yeah…" Effy lied, struggling to make eye contact with any of her friends. She shifted uncomfortably, biting her lip and scratching behind her ear. Immediately, the boys knew she was lying. If it hadn't been obvious from her tone, it was obvious because of her actions. She saw the boys were still observing her, much to her annoyance. "What, guys? I'm fine." Kendall and James chuckled, shaking their heads. They walked to stand beside Effy, taking her arms._

"_No, you're not. But! We're going to make it better!" Kendall announced. He and James lifted Effy, and her eyes widened. She struggled against them to no avail; they were, and always would be, much stronger than her. Logan and Carlos followed their friends out of the dance room, grabbing Effy's radio and bag on the way out. Once they reached their bikes, they set Effy down, keeping a hold on her as to not let her get away. It was times like these they wished they had a car._

"_Guys! I really don't want to do anything… I just want to - I dunno, but I don't want to do anything!" Effy shouted, still trying to tug away from Kendall and James. Finally, they let her go, but she didn't run away. She stared at all of them, clearly upset by the days' events._

"_You wanna go to the park?" Logan suggested, knowing that when Effy didn't feel like dancing, she chose to go to the park. On several occasions, the boys found her there, staring up at the sky and thinking. What she thought about, they were never told. They could only assume it was everything she dealt with on a daily basis. They knew she took on her brother and his struggles as her responsibility, and they knew her mother wasn't always sweet and erratic. She admitted that Cecile could be unfair, but she never went into detail. It would be a while before she could tell anyone that Cecile hit her often, and once even pushed her down the stairs and locked her in the basement._

_For a few moments, Effy's eyes locked with Logan's. She expected him to break, and look away, but her eyes didn't have any force behind them. They were weary, and weak. Sighing heavily, she nodded, taking her bag and radio from him and Carlos. The boys grinned, unchaining their bikes and waiting for Effy. She tucked her chain and radio into the basket on her bike, throwing her bag over her shoulder. Together they rode off down the street, making their way to the park. James and Kendall raced ahead of Carlos, Logan, and Effy, trying to get to their destination first._

"_You think they'll ever stop competing?" Carlos joked once they neared the park, seeing the two boys skidding to a stop. Kendall cheered, doing a ridiculous victory dance. He was horrible when it came to winning; he'd let the losers know again and again that he won._

"_They'll stop when James gets famous and Kendall doesn't." Logan replied, shaking his head. A small smile threatened to break across Effy's face, but the desire to smile quickly faded when she thought about how everyone laughed and mocked her in gym. Stopping her bike, Effy hopped off of it gracefully, moving it next to Kendall and James' bikes. Once everyone was together, James hit Kendall's arm, pointing to the slide._

"_Okay, first one there wins! Go!" he shouted, taking off. Kendall sped after him, quickly catching up. Carlos giggled, watching his two friends race. This time, James came out the winner. Logan turned to Effy, but she walked passed him, going to the emptier part of the field and sitting on the grass. Hugging her knees to her chest, she stared at the trees around her, thinking about nothing in particular. She didn't want to think, but that didn't seem to matter. There were so many thoughts she had shoved away, but she needed to review them. She needed to acknowledge the reality of it all, and not suppress it._

"_Effy? What're you doing?" Logan's voice saved her from diving into her thoughts, and she looked up at him desperately. He saw something was wrong, but the question was, would she be willing to tell him? She never went passed vague descriptions of what bothered her, and before any of the boys could get to the serious matters in her brain, she seemed fine again. Somehow, she managed to shove everything off so no one remembered. Everything that bothered her faded with the time, but only for everyone else. Not for her. James, Kendall, and Carlos neared the pair, quickly seeing the serious expression their brunette friend wore._

"_Come on, Eff, you can talk to us. We always talk to you." Carlos stated, sitting beside her. He threw his arm around her, squeezing her in a small side hug. Effy's eyes betrayed her, and along with the desperation that filled them came misery. She watched the clouds cover the sky, and moved to lie on her back. The boys sat around her, waiting for her to speak._

"_Why?" Effy breathed, her eyes moving from one boy to the next. They didn't say anything; they could tell she was going to continue. "Why do I have to have memories? Why do I have to remember? All I want, is for everything to stop. I want to go back in time, and make myself into someone else. I want to start from the birth. I don't want to be Elizabeth, or Stephanie, or Effy. I can't do that, though. Oliver needs me, so I can't be selfish. But that's not fair! Don't I ever get to be what I want? Don't I ever get to do something for myself? Can't I be… normal? Can't I at least __**feel **__like nothing is wrong with me?" She inhaled sharply, clenching her fists. "There's things I've never explained to you guys. You don't know half of what really goes on in my head. I don't… I don't get how we're best friends, and you don't know a thing. It's hard to believe I can't bring myself to tell you. You're probably the only few people that care, and I won't let you in. Maybe it's because I can't even explain it to myself. Like… there's something blocking me from saying it."_

_The boys listened to her, trying to make sense of what she was saying. Her words stemmed from years of struggle, but they had never learned what these complications were. They were lost. Effy heard the sound of laughter far off in the distance, and winced._

"_Nothing good ever happens, and I'm alone with my thoughts. I can't make sense of why it's me… Why should it all happen to me? What did I do wrong? Why did I have to see everything, and lose - I mean… They're coming at me. All of it, from the beginning to now. They've always been after me, and I'm not strong enough anymore. I'm losing myself… I'm losing…" her voice trailed off, and the boys looked to each other to make sure they were all on the same page. Their friend was making no sense._

_Effy's eyes closed, and when she opened them, she sat up. The park had been empty when they arrived, but on the hills near the end of the field, she could see the outlines of people. They were kite fliers. Harmless kite fliers._

"_They're here! I need to leave - they're coming! They're coming!" Effy cried, her voice cracking. She whimpered, and Logan quickly grabbed her. She pushed away from him, but he held her still._

"_Effy! Effy, calm down, there's no one there!" Logan stated firmly, trying to keep Effy still. He could only see people with kites on the horizon, but Effy seemed to think there was something more. Kendall, James, and Carlos kneeled beside her, trying to calm her down._

"_Let me go! They're coming!" Effy screamed, practically crying at this point. She struggled against Logan's hold, trying to break herself free. The boys were scared now. What was happening to their friend? Carlos jumped up, standing in front of the group._

"_I'll fight them, then! Is that gonna fix you?" he demanded. James saw what Carlos was doing, and after looking at Effy, he instantly joined in._

"_We'll fight them. We'll fucking fight them!" he shouted. James' eyes met Logan's, then Kendall's. The boys exchanged another set of uncertain stares before Logan and Kendall stood up. Effy watched them, still trembling. The boys ran off towards the kite fliers, screaming and howling insanely. The people started to cry out fearfully, dispersing._

"_Fuck off!"_

"_We'll kill you all! Go away! Go away!"_

"_Get out of here!"_

"_Leave us alone!"_

_Effy watched the boys chase away the people, which in her eyes were something much more threatening - something she couldn't describe. They were dark figures; evil forms sent to harm her. Yet the boys easily drove them away. A smile slowly stretched across her face, and she giggled. Any trace of fear or uncertainty disappeared from her features as she watched her friends run around the fields like madmen, and they soon began laughing too. They could see Effy, and she was fine again._

_Whether or not she'd explain what happened was unclear, but what mattered most was that they could keep her okay. There was plenty of time to get to the serious issues, and being the stubborn boys they were, they were going to find out what was wrong with Effy. It was their job as her friends._

**_Tick tick tick tick tick…_**

* * *

"_**Tell me what your name is, if you're so strong! Tell me, if you really want control!"**_

_**Effy turned, glaring at the mirror. Her fists clenched, and her eyes squeezed shut. Dexter was gone, but someone she didn't want to see still stared back at her.**_

"_**Come on, Elizabeth!" The name was hissed, and Effy felt her fists clench tighter. She lifted her hand, resting it on the book Dexter had left on the dresser. Her knees trembled. She knew what she had to do; if she wanted to prove herself - if she wanted to be free…**_

"_**Effy…"**_

_**There were voices outside of her room - voices she knew!**_

"_**Say it louder!"**_

_**Logan, Oliver, and the rest of the boys were outside. Seeing their faces in her head, all of the memories that had threatened to break her earlier came into focus, clouding her thoughts. Everything - from the moment she started remembering things to now - flooded in her mind, overflowing yet still registering. Effy's head throbbed, and she felt a scream stuck in her throat.**_

"_**EFFY!"**_

_**Lifting the book, Effy threw it into the mirror, watching the glass shatter.**_

* * *

_Tick tick tick tick tick…_

Breakfast disappeared quickly, and Effy didn't show up. Oliver ate what Logan had bought for her, and he wondered where his sister had disappeared to. There didn't seem to be a need to worry, but even so, she was tabbed in his mind. Logan poked at his food, eating only half of it when Effy didn't come to the pool. He was afraid his offer for food unsettled her, and though he could always make progress later, he had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. While everyone around him was enjoying their day, basking in the sunshine and carefree aura, he was stuck in conflict.

The thoughts of taking Effy to the hospital for psychiatric evaluation never left Logan's mind, as deep as he tried to bury them. He wanted to be a doctor. Not a psychiatrist. From the beginning, he knew there was only so much he could do for Effy. Now that he had the time to spend with her, he debated what she needed, and what he could provide. Though most of the thoughts were speculation, and he couldn't confirm anything for sure, he knew he was running out of options. She couldn't just wake up cured. Effy was going to need help.

"Logie! Hello? Dude, you've been spacing out way more than usual. What's up?" Carlos demanded, snapping his fingers in front of Logan's face. Logan blinked several times, looking to his friend. James and Kendall had disappeared, and Oliver still sat beside them, watching all of the Palm Woods' residents with an animated gaze. Seeing Logan's questioning stare, Carlos spoke up again. "Kendall and James said they were going for a workout." He sat, waiting for Logan to respond to his first few statements. All of the boys had noticed his change, but they assumed it to be temporary. Now it was becoming a little bit concerning.

"I'm… fine, Carlos. I'm just a little stressed." Logan admitted, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. His dark-skinned friend didn't seem impressed with the answer.

"We talked about this before, in Sherwood," Carlos mumbled, glancing at Oliver. He knew the conversation had the potential of getting ugly fast, but he wasn't sure who would snap first. Logan or Oliver. Both of them had a protective love for Effy, and the suggestion Carlos was about to make would be objected by at least one of them. "Maybe it's time to send Effy to the hospital."

Logan's eyes widened, as did Oliver's. Logan was taken aback, surprised that his friend had touched on a subject that was weighing him down. Oliver, on the other hand, was frightened by the statement. He understood what they meant, and he had given the thought some consideration himself. However, he always ended up feeling that Effy was going to be just fine. She was just going through a period in her life where things were bleak. She would get passed it. She would be his sister again soon. When that day failed to come, he knew it was time to start thinking about hospitalization, but he couldn't stomach it. What would he do without Effy? He wasn't sure he could take care of himself. He couldn't be alone. Effy was all he had left. Before Logan or Oliver could argue, Carlos immediately continued.

"It's been five months, Logan. She hasn't gotten any better. I think she's worse, actually." he stated, trying to completely explain his view of the situation. "Yeah, she's eating, but she's _still_ too skinny. She _still_ looks sick. There's times when she zones out, and I can't tell if it's normal or not. Kendall and James see it too, they just don't want to tell you. In case you haven't noticed, it's not the same as it was when we were in Sherwood. It's like… like we have to walk on eggshells around Effy." Logan listened, knowing Carlos was right. He never thought he'd admit that, but it was true. Carlos knew what he was talking about for once. Neither Logan nor Oliver could come up with a response. There was no argument. Everyone else saw it, and it was time they saw and accepted it too. Effy couldn't be helped by them. She needed more.

* * *

Kendall and James were weight-lifting in the gym, talking about the same subject Logan and Carlos were on. However, it was for a completely different reason. The boys had arrived at the gym and began their workout, when they noticed a girl running on a treadmill. After a moment of trying to get a better look at her, Kendall realized who it was. Effy. She wore form-fitting shorts, and a loose tank top; though that was the reason the boys took notice of her, they disapproved once they recognized it was their friend. Why she was dressed like that in the open was beyond them. She never wore things like that when she worked out in Sherwood.

"I don't know about you, but I'm gonna talk to her. She should know better." Kendall stated firmly, moving passed James. Effy was still running, determined not to stop. As Kendall approached her, he saw how thin she'd actually become. It was almost uncomfortable to see, and yet she was still exercising. "Effy?" She didn't respond to his call. Instead, she continued to run as if he hadn't said a word. Moving in front of her, he placed his hands on the treadmill. "Eff!" Finally, she paid him some attention. James neared them, and Effy pressed the button that slowed the machine down. Her pace gradually became a leisurely stroll, and she stared at Kendall and James, confused.

"We know your job entitles you to take off your clothes, but really? This just isn't you, Effy." James complained, frowning. Seeing her expression was still confused, he continued. "If you need to borrow some sweats or something, you could just ask. I'm not saying you don't look good - you do - it's just… awkward." Still, Effy didn't respond.

"What he means is, you're still like our sister. We can't just let you walk around with hardly anything on. We're not used to it, for one. And for another, it just doesn't seem like you. Maybe we're overreacting, but that's our job, Eff." Kendall added, shrugging. When Effy's puzzled stare didn't change, the boys swapped glances.

"Eff?" she questioned, as if she'd never heard them call her that before. For a moment, the boys were quiet. Then Kendall scoffed and shook his head.

"I almost believed you. Come on, don't try to change the subject." he joked, grinning. Effy didn't seem amused though.

"Effy? You okay?" James asked, having the growing concern that she wasn't faking anything. She stopped the machine, standing still as she stared at the boys. They watched her, wondering what her next move would be. Something was off.

"My name is Cecile. Or Elizabeth. Whichever you prefer." Effy informed them, stepping off of the treadmill. Kendall and James exchanged looks again, confirming that something was indeed wrong. Her inflection was different from what they were used to, and the glaze over her eyes made her seem unfocused. The boys took a step towards her, and she froze, suddenly becoming uncomfortable.

"Effy, knock it off. You're starting to scare me." Kendall reached out to place his hand on Effy's shoulder, but she jerked away. Her eyes were wide with an accusing fear, and she stepped back as James approached her. "Effy, come on. Stop it!" Both of the boys were standing in front of her, and Effy found herself backed into the wall. Shrieking, she pushed them, trying to get away.

"Wait!" James shouted, grabbing her arm. Effy tried tugging herself away, but James' hold was firm. He turned her around, holding her shoulders. She was shaking, and unintelligible mumbles left her mouth. Speaking nothing but gibberish, Effy whimpered as she struggled against James' grip on her. "Effy! EFFY!" Desperate to break her out of her rambling trance, James lifted his hand, striking Effy across the face. He never thought he would hit a girl, but this was an exception. Something was wrong with his friend, and he had to calm her down. She stared up at James and Kendall, and they could see her eyes were hers again.

Effy's mouth opened, and she struggled to speak. James' hands fell back to his sides, and they waited for her to say what she needed to say. Her bottom lip quivered, and she looked desperate. Helpless. Closing her eyes, she gasped and ran. Her legs carried her faster than James and Kendall ever believed they could, and her fleeing had taken them by surprise, giving her a minutes' head-start. When they fumbled out of the gym, they searched the halls for Effy, finding nothing. This was the final straw. She'd lost her mind, and there was no questioning it anymore. She was acting crazy, and they needed to get her to a hospital for the help she needed before something serious happened. Running out to the pool, they saw Carlos and Logan standing up, prepared to leave the table.

"Where's Oliver?" Kendall asked, seeing that the boy was absent from the picture.

"Have you seen Effy?" James added to Kendall's question. Seeing that the boys were exasperated and worried, Logan and Carlos immediately picked up on the situation. There was a problem.

"What happened?" Carlos demanded urgently, his hands flying to his head.

Just as Kendall and James were about to explain, Oliver sprinted out to them. The look on his face said it all. He was scared, and he shook when he skidded to a halt beside the boys. At the sight of him, Logan felt his heart stop. Effy had done something. He'd had the sick feeling all morning, and this was what it had been leading up to. Time stopped, but the world around him seemed to spin in swirls of color and noise. All he could see was Effy. She needed him now more than ever, and he didn't even know what was going on.

"Effy locked herself in her room. I was just getting into the apartment - she pushed passed me, and she ran into her room. I- I heard her screaming!" Oliver panted, pulling on Kendall's arm. The boys all felt their hearts stop then, and they bolted off with Oliver back to his apartment. Taking the elevator didn't even cross their minds; it was too slow. Shoving open the door to the stairs, the boys took them three at a time, fighting for a quick moment over the handle when the reached the third floor entrance. They fell into the hall, disoriented for a moment while they tried to find the right direction to Effy's apartment. Oliver had left the door to 3L open, and the boys ran inside, hearing Effy screaming. Logan pushed passed his friends, reaching the door to Effy's room first. He leaned against it, trying to force the doorknob to turn.

"Open the door! Effy!" Logan yelled, hitting it violently. On the other side, they could hear a shriek and glass breaking, and Logan felt adrenaline surge through his veins.

All of the boys were shouting at once, trying to force their way into Effy's room. With his heart pounding against his chest, Logan backed up, kicking at the door. He couldn't feel the pain of the recoil, and continued to strike viciously, breaking off the doorknob. Once more he kicked, this time sending the door flying open. A portion of the wood flew off, and the door hit the wall with a loud bang. Logan and the boys entered the bedroom, and Kendall, James, Carlos, and Oliver watched Logan slide down on his knees, grabbing Effy.

Propped up against the bed, Effy's body was limp. Blood pooled around her, and glass was scattered across the floor. Her wrists lay upturned, sliced open. Logan held her against him, his hands wound tight over her wrists to stop the bleeding. Oliver stumbled back, and Carlos held on to him as to keep him from falling. James appeared as if he were going to be sick, and Kendall was petrified with shock.

Everything seemed to be fading to black and white, and the sound was muted. No one was moving, and if they were, they couldn't do it fast enough. Not for Logan. He watched Effy fall lifelessly against him, and his heartbeat was reaching a pace so fast he felt it was going to explode. He didn't care about that though. The tears that burned his eyes and blurred his vision frustrated him, and he screamed.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP! HELP!"

_Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick boom…_


	20. Chapter 19: Fine Again

**Author's Note: Man, I never thought I'd see the ending of this story. This chapter, yeah, longest I've ever written and probably ever will write. I edited most of it before deciding to throw in the towel. So… Yeah, it's as good as I'm getting it! I honestly worked for two weeks on this (lol?). So, I tried to put some little citations in here, to no avail. I'll put them in order here, and (if you want) have the songs ready on YouTube, play them, enjoy them, see the scene how I saw it, etc.**

**1. Lions - Jonquil (when Logan's in Effy's room/on the roof with James)**

**2. 3D Friends - Lina Magic (The song James performs with Effy)**

**3. Designer Drugs - Drop Down (rave/party song)**

**Now for my final set of shout outs! Obviously, **Past the Sorrow** by **_**waterwicca**_**, **Ampersand** by **_**christinainwonderland**_**, **Skins: BTR** by **_**xxTheStoryofUsxx**_**, and (a story which I've just begun reading) **Hooked** by **_**sufergal23**_**.**

**I believe that's it. I hope you all enjoyed Effy's story (there's another to come, one which will tie up all the loose ends between her, and James' feelings for her)! Please review; tell me what you liked/didn't like, favorite parts, comments about the music, etc. I've got my fingers crossed for a particular person to review *cough* **_**gleechild**_** *cough* just so I know how good or bad I did on my Logan/OC story. If I don't get it, that's cool though. I had a blast writing. So everyone, enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 19: Fine Again

Feeling nauseous yet again, Logan leaned his head against the wall, uncomfortable in the stiff chair. Mrs. Knight, Katie, Kendall, and Oliver sat beside him, none of them saying a word. James and Carlos paced across the room, unable to keep still. Shifting again in his seat, Logan bent forward, staring down at his hands. Blood stained them, and he trembled as he observed it. The blood was Effy's, and it caked his hands. His eyes squeezed shut, balling his hands into fists. Tears burned his eyes, threatening to fall as he choked on his breath. He couldn't focus; his mind wouldn't allow any thoughts to be fully grasped. People were talking around him, a phone rang somewhere in the distance, an infant cried; Logan couldn't comprehend these noises. He could hardly see straight. Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, he leaned against the wall again, pushing his hair back.

"_HELP US! SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Logan shouted desperately, holding Effy in his arms. She was limp, and blood dripped from her wrists onto the Palm Woods floor. Bitters dropped his box of fries upon seeing the blood, and pushed passed the crowd that was gathering. Logan's cries for an ambulance had persisted from the moment he lifted Effy out of the pool of blood in her bedroom. Kendall and James had both called, confirming for the paramedics that immediate attention was needed. Carlos led Oliver to the lobby, keeping him behind Logan so he wouldn't have to get a full view of his sister._

"_Logan? Boys! What happened?" Mrs. Knight demanded, running to them. She had been returning home from the gym when she saw the crowd, and she recognized Logan's voice. Upon seeing the boys unharmed and seemingly okay, her panic level lowered, but realizing that Logan held a fatally injured young woman in his arms shot her panic right back up. Outside, everyone in the crowd could hear the screeching of tires, and the obnoxious siren of an ambulance._

_Logan bolted through the crowd, followed by the boys, then everyone else. The paramedics leaped out of the ambulance, spotting Logan and Effy. His heart pounded a mile a minute, rapidly banging against his chest. It hurt him, and he realized he hadn't breathed. Gasping for breath, Logan felt blood rush to his head once the two paramedics took Effy and placed her on a gurney. He stumbled back, and Kendall grabbed his arm, steadying him so he wouldn't fall. James already had the keys to his car in hand, and Carlos was trying to explain to Mrs. Knight what they'd found. Katie broke through the crowd, running to her mother and sighing with relief when she saw everyone was okay. However, when she saw the blood on Logan's hands and clothes, her eyes widened._

"_Get in the car! Come on!" Kendall ordered, leading his mom and sister to James' black Hummer. The three piled into the back, followed by Carlos and Oliver. Logan absentmindedly climbed into the front seat, and James started the car, taking off after the ambulance._

"… _and then we had to break into her room. That's… where we found her." Carlos finished explaining to Mrs. Knight, looking around at the rest of the boys._

"_She went missing just before we left for L.A! Why wouldn't you tell anyone she was here? How could you boys have done something so… stupid? You had to know something was wrong! You had to know something like this would happen!" Mrs. Knight scolded, unable to believe her boys had lied to her. No, they hadn't lied; they failed to tell her what was going on. She didn't expect them to be so irresponsible, especially not Logan. However, she couldn't stay mad at them. The worry on their faces was enough for her. "Effy was a strong girl, you have to remember that boys. She'll be okay."_

_**She'll be okay. She'll be okay.**__ Logan repeated in his head, rubbing his face wearily. He couldn't take this. He just couldn't._

"Katherine Knight?"

Everyone's head popped up. The doctor that had rushed Effy through the emergency room stood before them, holding a clipboard in his hand. Logan wanted to feel the relief that he saw on his friends' faces, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Even if the doctor didn't seem to have awful news, he didn't feel right. No matter what, there was something wrong with Effy. Something he couldn't fix, as hard as he wanted to try. Gulping, he watched Mrs. Knight stand and approach the doctor. His legs felt like lead as he forced himself up and neared the adults. Two long hours had passed since they all arrived at the hospital. The time dragged on mercilessly, but Logan knew what the doctors had to be doing. After treating suicide patients, tests were always run on their mentality. Logan easily could've told them what he knew, but he couldn't find his voice. He was lost in his mind, trying to pick up what little he couldn't focus on.

"Elizabeth is fine; we have her in stable condition. She's sleeping now in a recovery room." the doctor announced. Kendall, James, Carlos, Oliver, and Katie blew out breaths of relief, but Mrs. Knight and Logan saw something more coming. There was _always_ something more. Nothing in a hospital was ever simple. "After running a few tests with our psychologist, we've reached a diagnoses for Elizabeth. She's shown symptoms for an illness called dissociative identity disorder." Logan shifted where he stood. He knew it was something along those lines. Psychosis branched out into several different diseases, D.I.D. being one of them. Once again, he clenched his fists, annoyed by the knowledge he had. Did he have to know everything? Did he have to learn what was probably best left alone? "Now, the illness isn't untreatable…" Logan tuned out of what the doctor was saying. He couldn't stomach anymore. He wanted to see Effy. Mrs. Knight saw the conflict in his eyes, and waited for the doctor to finish before speaking.

"Can we see her?" she asked, placing her hand on Logan's shoulder. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and biting his lip. As much as he wanted to see Effy, he was nervous. It was their reuniting day all over again. It felt like years since he'd last seen her. There wasn't anything he had in mind to say, and nothing felt right. Just being there was something, but he wanted to ask everything he never had the opportunity to ask. He wanted answers!

"Of course. I'll need you to fill out a few papers, though, and answer some questions." the doctor led Mrs. Knight off to the side, and she motioned for Logan and the others to go ahead. Kendall and James patted Logan's back assuringly, leading him down the hall. Carlos and Oliver were right behind them. In Logan's perspective, the hallway seemed to stretch, and with each step they took, the rooms only appeared to distance themselves further.

Peering through the windows of the rooms they passed, the boys stopped once they saw Effy's room. Through the window, they could see her laying peacefully in her bed. Shaking, Logan reached out, pushing the door open. The group stepped through, and Oliver shoved passed them, quickly moving to be by his sisters' side. Logan felt like a zombie as he walked towards Effy, sitting in the chair by her bed. He slowly reached out, taking her hand in his and running his thumb and forefinger over her smooth skin. The bandage tape around her wrists made him wince; just the thought of seeing her wrists slashed open the way they had been horrified him. It sent stinging twinges into his own wrists. The memory was going to haunt him for a long time.

"Mrs. Knight was right…" Carlos finally stated, breaking the silence. Logan's eyes wearily traveled to his friend, knowing the statement was true. "We should've said something sooner." Kendall and James sighed, nodding.

"I know we thought we could help her on our own, but so much shit happened." James added, rubbing his forehead and pushing his hair back. Seeing his friends lowering themselves and pushing the negative aura up, Kendall shook his head. He felt the same amount of guilt, and he wanted to talk as pessimistically as his friends, but for their sake, he couldn't.

"We tried guys. Yeah, it was pretty stupid now that we look back, but we had the best intentions behind everything we did. There was nothing we could've done for her, and I think we all know this-" Kendall motioned to Effy, and the tubes she was connected to. "-was in the cards. It just took us a while to realize it. She was always heading to this, guys. We just loved her too much to want to believe it. She's still alive, though. We're gonna make it up to her, even if that means… Well, we all heard what that doctor said." Kendall, Carlos, and James looked to each other, then at Oliver and Logan. The two boys on either side of Effy wouldn't look away from her. Judging from the expression on Logan's face, Kendall could see his words were registering in the brunette's mind. All they had to do now was wait for Effy to wake up.

* * *

"_What are you doing?" Logan questioned immediately upon seeing the nurses enter the room. They seemed tired, and unamused by his concern. He sat up straight in the chair, his stare hard._

"_We're unhooking her from some of these machines, son. Relax." one of the nurses answered flatly. The other nurse was taking the tubes from Effy's nose and wiping away any blood that had gotten on to the equipment._

_Logan examined them, trying to calm down as he sat on the chair. He hadn't moved in three long hours. All he did was sit and watch Effy. She didn't move, or make a sound. She looked at peace, and Logan couldn't bring himself to wake her up. It had been quite some time since he'd seen such content on her face, and he was positive it was the first time in a long while since she'd actually felt tranquil. Occasionally he would brush her hair back, but Effy still didn't stir. Oliver paced on the opposite side of the room, sitting down for brief periods of time before pacing again. He couldn't remain still to save his life. A doctor or nurse would come in intermittently to check on her before the tubes were removed, but they didn't say anything to the two boys._

_Mrs. Knight left just a couple hours prior, knowing Katie was becoming restless. Kendall, James, and Carlos waited with Logan for most of the time, but he knew they were tired of being pent up in a hospital room. They wanted to wait for Effy to wake up, because they missed the real Effy as much as Logan, but he insisted they get some air. He offered the time away to Oliver, but the boy refused to leave his sister._

"_Go on, grab something to eat - or, whatever. I'll stay with Oliver." Logan had told his friends, putting on his best smile. It was difficult to curve his lips upward, and the boys could tell. Their friend was struggling to keep it together. Any moment, he would break. Kendall, James, and Carlos didn't want to leave him - they wanted to be there for him when he finally cracked. He would need them. "I promise I'll be fine guys, just go." He tried to assure them that he would be okay, and after a while, they decided it would be alright step out of the hospital for a little bit._

_With the boys out, Logan and Oliver sat in silence. Oliver couldn't hold Effy's hand the way Logan did. He was too afraid. He had known this moment was coming even before the boys did. There was always the worry in the back of his mind about how he would deal with this situation, and though Oliver had prepared himself, the real thing was much harder than he expected. Fear gripped him, because he had been waiting for this day to come. Effy was going to die if she continued to hurt herself the way she did, and this was too close. Oliver knew he wasn't smart, but he also knew there had to have been something he could've done differently. He cursed himself for being the way he was, and he felt his eyes stinging. All he wanted was for his sister to wake up. That was it._

_Leaning forward, Logan cautiously kissed Effy's hand, slowly pulling his lips away and resting his forehead against the spot he'd kissed. He missed Effy so much, and he longed to see her eyes again. His desire to laugh with her about something silly, his need to hear her saying something casual to him… It broke his heart. The anguish that weighed him down stemmed from his wish for everything to be normal again. He wanted to go back in time and save Effy from herself. Perhaps if he'd turned her in before they left for L.A… things would have ended up better. Maybe she would've gotten out of whatever hospital she was sent to, and maybe she could've come to L.A. with them._

_Sighing, Logan kept Effy's hand in his as he closed his eyes and rested his head back against the chair. He kept his eyes closed, not expecting to fall asleep. The short day had exhausted him though, and he quickly drifted off._

"Uhh," Logan groaned, opening his eyes. The darkness in the room frightened him for a moment, and he was briefly blind. Blinking several times, Logan rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the dark outlines in the room. He reached out, feeling around the edge of the bed as he stepped sideways. There was a door leading to a bathroom in the corner of the room, and carefully he made his way to it, holding out his hands to feel for anything that could've been in his way. Still feeling hazy from his sleep, Logan didn't notice the muffled beeping from Effy's heart monitor coming from the other side of the partially closed bathroom door. The lights weren't on, so he didn't think anyone was there. Pushing the door open, Logan felt along the wall, flipping the light switch on. Once his eyes adjusted to the light, he stared ahead, his jaw dropping.

"FUCK!" Logan stumbled back, falling against the wall. His eyes were wide, and he wasn't sure if it was with shock or horror. He stared ahead, unable to make himself move. The black haired figure swiftly moved passed Logan, and he heard the sounds of the bed creaking. He trembled, pressing his palms against his eyes. What had he just seen? Was it real? He looked back in the bathroom, then at the barely visible outline of the bed. In the corner of the room, Logan could hear Oliver mumbling something unintelligible, though he couldn't tell if the boy was awake. Stumbling in the darkness, he made his way to the door, searching the wall for the light switch, just as he'd done in the bathroom. As his eyes adjusted to the new light, he glanced at Oliver, seeing he was, in fact, still asleep. Hesitant, Logan let his eyes wander to the bed. "Fuck!" he squeaked again, his hands flying up to cover his mouth. He never really cursed, but the situation at hand was a good cause for it.

The figure laying in the bed before him was painfully slender and had short, crow black hair. They were naked, and had been in the bathroom removing bandages from their chest. Bandages that flattened their breasts. Logan knew it was Effy, even if his first instinct told him Dexter was in the bathroom. It was the hair that fooled him, and as he edged around the bed, he saw the candy apple red wig laying on the bathroom floor. He knew without being told what was going on, but he still needed to hear it. He needed to know he wasn't just crazy.

Effy was silent as she sat in her bed. She wrapped the blanket around her naked torso, avoiding looking up at Logan. She couldn't tell if she was embarrassed or ashamed. Maybe she was both. Logan wanted to know the truth, and the truth was, Effy lost her mind. She was insane. The lengths she went in order to keep from facing the truth herself proved it. Logan pushed his hair back, trying to grasp what he'd just seen. There was no possible way he would react well to what Effy was going to tell him, and though he knew that, he still wanted her to speak.

"Don't be mad at me," Effy whispered, her voice almost too quiet for Logan to hear. His head snapped up, and he stared at Effy incredulously. He wasn't aware he should've been mad, but at the same time, he found it ridiculous _not_ to be mad. He was so confused! Before Effy could say anything else, Oliver stirred in his chair, groggily sitting up. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked a few times, then looked to Effy. Upon seeing her, he cringed. Logan didn't know what to make of his reaction. There wasn't surprise anywhere in his expression, but rather a sense of fear. There was even a tiny hint of relief.

"You knew?" Logan questioned, turning on Oliver. Standing up, Oliver ignored Logan, walking passed him and straight to Effy.

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." Oliver answered simply, reaching out to feel Effy's real hair. Logan understood completely what Effy's brother said, but that didn't make anything better. She needed to explain.

"I'm sorry, Olli," Effy breathed, watching her brother. The moment, simply put, was awkward. She was caught, and everything she had to say would either make sense, or earn her a lifetime at a funny farm. Logan was watching Effy shift uncomfortably where she sat, waiting impatiently for her to begin explaining. He paced quickly back and forth, trying to force his questions to come out. They all stuck in his throat though. He returned to the chair by Effy's bed, feeling lightheaded. He wasn't going to let himself pass out again - not when there were so many things he needed to know.

"Will you just explain?" Logan shouted. His hand covered his eyes and he tried to fight off the oncoming headache.

_Keep your voice down. You're in a hospital._ Logan thought, inhaling deeply to calm himself. He stared at the thin body laying in the bed before him, hooked up to IV's and a heart monitor that beeped uneasily. Starting over, he managed to make his demand without raising his voice.

"Start from the beginning, and tell the truth. What's going on?" Logan questioned. There was no beating around the bush now. He wanted answers, and delaying them at this point would be nothing short of insanity. "Effy, look at me, and tell me what's going on. Now." Oliver gulped, knowing he was also anxious to hear what his sister had to say. He wanted to know more than anyone what had been going on for the past five months. Living with such vague stories unsettled him. Logan paced around the bed, awaiting her response. His voice had been soft, but his demand was firm. Effy clenched and unclenched her fists, seemingly lost for words. It was almost as if she were trying to figure out the answers to their questions herself. After a moment, she sighed heavily and placed her hands in her lap.

"Dexter doesn't exist," Effy confirmed Logan's first observation, her voice shaky and soft. "I made him up… He was never real - it was me. It was always me." She seemed to be having difficulty saying the truth, but she was forcing it all out. "He was always a part of me, I guess. Before I, well, did this-" Effy held up her wrists, pointing at the bandages. "- I remembered. I've been having trouble you wouldn't believe with my memory, and all of it coming to me like that was… scary." Logan suddenly froze, thinking about his old medical book. More answers suddenly became clear, but he still wanted to hear Effy's side of things. Only then would he see what facts he read fit her, and what didn't.

"How did I not notice, Effy? I was always with you…" Oliver mumbled, almost not even talking to Effy. He was linking the clues together in his head. Somehow, he'd always known something was off. His mind was just too feeble to really focus on it. The only times he'd seen Dexter and Effy together were the times they traveled in the cars. Even then, he thought Effy was dead. She was hidden under thick blankets, and all he saw was her hair - which he now realized was just a wig. The only way he could get photos of them all together was with his photoshop applications on his computer, and he was never allowed to go into the room that Dexter and Effy shared. Everything seemed so obvious now.

Logan was thinking along the same lines Oliver was. The parallels between Effy and Dexter were ridiculous. What were his first clues? Their frame. When the boys first confronted Dexter in the ballroom, and he caught Kendall with his right-hook, something should've instantly seemed suspicious. Dexter was the same size as Effy, and had as much strength as she did. Then there was the music. When Logan and Camille had approached him, he was listening to classic rock - one of Effy's favorite types of music. Sure, plenty of people liked classic rock, but now it seemed like a dead giveaway. And the conversation at the strip club! Effy's uncomfortable movements - the first clue that told Logan she was telling half truths… It all started to fit.

"I remember… the day you and the rest of the guys left for L.A, I was going to tell you I loved you." Effy admitted, closing her eyes. Logan bit his tongue, guilt crashing down on him. "It wasn't anything you boys did that led to this… I know that much. I was always destined for this… You helped, if anything. You kept me sane long enough." Effy ran a hand through her short hair, remembering the day she cut it. Their homeless guardian had died, and it hit too close to home - the scene was almost a spitting image of what had happened with her father, Dexter Valmont. "After I went home, and found mom dead, I didn't know what to do. I think that was one of the last straws. I uprooted myself and Oliver, and we ran. I didn't have a plan; I just wanted to get away from everything. I wanted to go back to where it all started: New York. We made it to Michigan, met Jimmy -"

"I told him about that, Eff. I told them everything I knew…" Oliver reminded her, cutting Effy off. She paused, nodding before continuing.

"When Jimmy died, that was just one more tie to sanity cut. It reminded me of our dad. Do you remember that, Oliver?" Effy asked. Oliver nodded, his bottom lip quivering. Logan watched their exchange questioningly, and at last, Effy revealed the secret that felt like the focal point of everything. Turning to face Logan, she met his gaze and sighed. "A few days before our fifth birthday, our dad kidnapped us. Our mom had left him because he was 'immature' and 'irresponsible', so he took us back from Minnesota to New York. We stayed with him for a day or two, and then… I was crossing the street by myself, because I got distracted when dad was walking Oliver, and I was almost hit by a car. My dad realized this, pushed me out of the way, and he got hit. It killed him, and I sat there, with my father in my arms as he died. I remember the sirens of the police cars, and lights from the ambulance… It scared me. I never really got over that." Suddenly it became clear to Logan why Effy had a panic attack the first day of school. Witnessing her father die was the beginning. That's where it all started.

"Dad said something to you, before he died. I remember, now." Oliver muttered under his breath. Effy wasn't sure he even said anything. Even so, what their father had said came to mind.

"Our dad, before he died, told me he regretted not being there for Oliver. Looking back on it now, I guess he was finally admitting Cecile was right. He wanted Oliver to have a good male role model, like every boy needs," Effy continued. Once again, things Effy had said before now made sense to Logan. "When Jimmy died almost the exact same way our dad did, I locked myself in that apartment, and tried to come to terms with everything without actually accepting anything. From the day we got to New York, I'd been healing myself just a little bit - at least, I thought I was. I went to music stores and practiced what my dad said I'd be good at. I did everything to find some kind of small escape. Then Dexter appeared. I hallucinated seriously for the first time in a while, and I couldn't tell that it was fake. I didn't have anyone to tell me otherwise."

Logan's eyes shifted away from Effy's as he remembered the day she was referring to. She hallucinated, and the boys were there to help her.

"So when Oliver and I lost Jimmy, the hallucinations I'd been having became even more real. At first, I really did think it was odd that Dexter shared the same name as our father… but when I lost myself further, that didn't matter. Any strong personality trait I had, or could've had, manifested itself into Dexter. He was the dominant personality, and I was just me. I was too scared and weak to ever do anything, so Dexter did it for me. Not only did it give me the power I always wanted, but it gave me security… like I had a real father protecting me. He'd hurt people for me, since I was too nice to do it myself." Effy explained, slowly finding the truth easier to tell as she lost herself in it. "I finally got out of bed, made that video explaining to Oliver that Dexter was a friend, and escaped through the window. Over the past four or five months, I'd learned to steal. Being in Dexter's skin, so to speak, gave me so much adrenaline. I stole everything I wanted or needed. I stole the contacts, the wigs, the clothes… everything. I went into this bathroom at a gas station, chopped off my hair, dyed it, put in contacts… I completely remade myself. I became Dexter, and from there, I stole cars to get Oliver and I where I knew I always wanted to go. To you. To you and the rest of the guys. Whenever I felt threatened or upset, Dexter came out. He did what he could to hurt you physically or emotionally. I thought it was helping… I thought making peace with you would fix everything. There was already too much wrong, though. And the whole time - my whole life, almost - I figured, maybe I'm like one of those pages in a new notebook… One that's accidentally been torn. It was gone from the beginning - time just had to… wear it down…" A couple tears spilled from Effy's eyes, and rolled down her cheeks. Once the first two fell, three more came. Then a few more. Then even more. "I'm sorry, Logan… Olli. I'm sorry." She hiccupped, trying to stop the tears, but she wasn't strong enough.

Logan stood up, bending over Effy and pulling her into his arms. He held onto her tightly, kissing the top of her head. He didn't care about the wrong she'd done. That didn't matter anymore. All he cared about, was the fact that he knew the truth. It was finally out in the open, and Effy was alive. She survived it, and that's all he needed. Oliver held his sisters' hand, knowing in his heart that the real Effy was finally with him. He knew someday she would come back, and it was better late than never.

Eventually, Effy calmed down enough to fall asleep again. Oliver didn't leave her side this time; he drifted off to sleep in an uncomfortable position with his head on Effy's stomach, and the rest of his body awkwardly sat in the chair. Logan, on the other hand, couldn't go back to bed. It was five in the morning, and though Effy had reached what was definitely a breakthrough, it wasn't good enough.

"_Now, the illness isn't untreatable, but we're going to have to send her to another hospital; Meridell Achievement Center. I have a pamphlet here for the facility - it's one of the top psychiatric wards in L.A. All we need to do is run a few more tests on Elizabeth, and decipher what type of medication will best suit her needs. As long as she stays on the medicine we give her, she'll be right as rain. The amount she'll need and times she'll have to take it daily will be decided by the doctors at Meridell's."_

Everyone heard what the doctor had told Mrs. Knight, and everyone knew what it meant. What the boys had feared from the beginning was going to happen. Effy was going to be taken away, and locked in a mental hospital. It wasn't as bad as they imagined it to be, but even so, all their efforts to stop it from happening failed. Logan knew he was always going to fail Effy, but he wasn't going to do it without fighting his hardest. He did, but it still didn't feel like enough. Sighing, Logan gave Effy's hand a light squeeze before standing up and stretching. He walked towards the door, pushing it open and ambling down the empty hallway. The receptionist Logan saw the night before was replaced by another one, and she was filing her nails. She paid no mind to him as he left the hospital, and Logan continued walking.

There were few people around, but it was L.A. - someone was always out. The sky was a relatively dark shade of blue, but Logan could see the light from the sun sluggishly rising. He would've liked to drive home, but James had taken everyone back with his car. After acknowledging all the thoughts buzzing in his head, Logan figured walking back home was the best choice. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, licking his lips and trying to fix the nagging dryness of his mouth. Warm air blew against his skin as he traveled down the sidewalk, not at all aiding with his attempts at dampening his mouth. He wanted water. He wanted to lay down in a bed.

Heavily sighing didn't help the constricted feeling in Logan's chest. Kicking a small rock as he walked down the street, he mulled over all of the thoughts he'd tried to avoid in the hospital. Though Effy had come to terms with everything she had done, and let all of the truth in the open, Logan still couldn't be sure that everything was right. He couldn't just let her slip through the cracks anymore. Effy was going to Meridell Achievement Center. She was going to be hospitalized for God knew how long, and it felt like it was entirely his fault. Through all the talks he had with the boys, trying to convince himself that he wasn't to blame, there was still a piece of him that knew he had prolonged this. Shaking those thoughts out of his head, Logan returned to thinking about Effy going to a mental hospital. She would get better there. She had to… She would get out eventually. He had to keep believing that.

Then there was Oliver. Where was he going to stay? How bad had he been affected by everything? Logan knew he wanted Oliver to have some tests run, but he didn't know how to go about asking. He couldn't be timid now, though! He'd spent enough time doing that, and Effy was paying for it. Muttering a swear, he shoved the thoughts from his head again, trying to focus on what mattered. Logan neared the Palm Woods, still stuck on the topic of Oliver. If Mrs. Knight could somehow take him in, everything would be fine. Effy wouldn't be able to take it if he was sent to a foster home. Rubbing his palms against his tired eyes, Logan blew out a gust of air. As he entered the Palm Woods lobby, he pulled out his phone, checking the time. It had been an hour! He never took that long to walk from Rocque Records to the Palm Woods, and the hospital didn't seem that much farther. Pushing his hair back, Logan tucked his phone into his pocket and headed to the elevator.

As he passed the empty pool, and walked through the eerily quiet halls, Logan could see Effy as Dexter. He remembered the exact spots she stood in or walked through, and it was surreal to wrap his head around that idea. She was Dexter the entire time. Just because her father died in her arms, and said Oliver needed a role model, she slowly started to split with reality. Logan paused, staring out of the window at the end of the hall. The leaves from one of the few normal trees had stopped falling, and were blooming back. It seemed so simple - the way they fell. Just like Effy. Going insane was too easy for her. It wasn't fair. He'd already thought of it so many times, but what could he have done to make things turn out differently? What could he have done, without having to give up Effy? Was there any way he could've made things right without any help? Logan knew the answer well, but that didn't mean he liked it. Suddenly having the truth presented to him didn't bring the relief he expected. He was even more tense now.

Stopping outside the door of 2J, Logan absentmindedly turned and walked to the stairs. He couldn't go home. Not yet. He had to go back to Effy's room. Logan had to see it again. He had to see that it was all real.

* * *

"It's six in the morning, Carlos. What are you doing up?" Kendall propped himself up on his elbows, staring across the room at his friend. Carlos had tossed and turned all night, and was now sitting against the wall, his pillow and sheets kicked off to the floor. He shrugged, and though it was dark, Kendall saw this action. "I couldn't sleep either." Pushing himself into a sitting position, his eyes wandered to Logan's empty bed. He stayed behind at the hospital, and Kendall was wondering why he hadn't chose to do the same. He wanted to be with Effy just as much as Logan did. She was just as much his friend.

"What are we gonna do?" Carlos suddenly asked, his voice somber. Kendall eyed him questioningly, reaching over to the lamp on his nightstand and turning it on. "Effy's going to that hospital… What are we gonna do without her? Just move on again? I don't know how to feel about any of this. How long is she gonna be gone? Is anything gonna get fixed?" Carlos almost seemed to be talking to himself more than Kendall. It was one of the first times he'd ever slowed down enough to acknowledge what he was really feeling. Rarely did he ever feel something negative, but when it did spring up on him, he never knew how to handle it. Since Effy was his best friend, it was difficult to know she was leaving again so soon after he'd gotten her back. Kendall watched him stare at the floor, his face full of conflict and concentration. He swung his legs out from under the covers, standing and walking to Carlos' side of the room. He plopped down on the bed next to him, placing an arm around Carlos assuringly.

"We're gonna do what Effy would want us to do," Kendall began, his tone no louder than a whisper. "She'd feel bad if she knew we were putting our lives on hold for her. You and I both know that. The real Effy would want us to carry on with our lives, and be there when she came back. That's all she'd ask for, and you know it Carlitos." Though Kendall had doubts of his own, he wasn't going to show them to Carlos. He could show them to Logan, and occasionally James, but Carlos was the one who always needed the rest of his friends to be strong. If they weren't strong, he would crumble.

One question Carlos asked did linger in Kendall's mind though. Was anything going to be fixed? Even if Effy was treated at Meridell's, what would that even mean? Would she be cured of her mental illness? Was that even possible? Odds were, she was just going to be medicated for the rest of her life. What would that be like? Would it change anything? Kendall couldn't bring himself to think of the more positive aspects of the situation. He couldn't wonder what it would be like to have his best female friend back in his life. He couldn't even wonder what the first thing they would do once she returned would be. All he thought about was how different things were. When had everything become so fucking hard? Effy had always made things simple. That's what their group was. They were simple friends. There were very few common interests, and it would seem their personalities would clash, but somehow their chemistry mixed well enough to form something that just was. It was as easy as breathing.

So why did it come to this?

"Hey guys?" James' voice pulled Kendall from his thoughts, and his head snapped up to look at the brunette getting out of his bed. His phone was in hand, and he picked up a discarded shirt from the ground, pulling it over his head. "I texted Logan, to see if he was doing okay. He's on the roof, so I figured… I'd go check on him." James slipped his phone securely back into his pocket, giving Carlos a small wave before disappearing out the door.

After another few moments of silence, Carlos pushed himself up, walking to the closet the boys all shared. He knelt down, rummaging through the dusty boxes. There was something he'd brought along to L.A, and now that it crossed his mind, he wanted to see it again. Kendall watched him from the bed, curious as to what his friend was doing. Eventually, Carlos stood again, wheeling around and jumping back on the bed. There was a small grin on his face, and he held a heavy, leather-bound book. The pages were browned, worn by the time. Though it had been ages since Kendall had seen the book, he recognized it almost immediately. Whenever they had the chance, their mothers would capture pictures of them all and save them in this book. Carlos' mother kept the book, and clearly gave it to her son as a memento before he left Sherwood.

"I can't believe it…" Kendall muttered under his breath, observing as Carlos opened the book. The first page had their baby photos taped onto it. Kendall was first, then James, Effy, Logan, and finally Carlos. He turned the page, and they were all there again, this time as toddlers. Not one photo was of them together, but the boys hadn't met until they were four. Effy didn't join the group until the year after that. Flipping passed a few pages, Carlos stopped when a particular photograph caught his eye. His eyes locked on every detail of the photo, from his toothy grin to the color of the tile underneath his feet. Beside him was Effy, and they were holding up their hands which had been bound together by handcuffs. Though they were standing in what was obviously a police station, the nine-year-olds were grinning from ear to ear. Carlos remembered that day clearly. It was one of his favorite memories.

"_School is boring without the rest of the guys!" Carlos whined, zipping up his backpack as the final bell rang. Effy rolled her eyes, but continued to listen. Logan, Kendall, and James had been out of school for five days with chicken pox, and Carlos missed his brothers more than anything. Effy missed them as well, but she kept herself composed for Carlos' sake. That was something they all did for him - it was just easier that way. "Logan isn't stopping me from doing bad stuff, James isn't helping me do bad stuff, and Kendall isn't talking the teachers out of punishing me for doing bad stuff!" Carlos counted off the reasons on his fingers, and Effy watched while fighting a smile._

"_We'll get sick if they're around us, Carlos." Effy reminded him, swinging her bag over her shoulder. It was Friday, and as he did every week, Carlos left his backpack in his cubby. He made sure it was secure in its' place before grabbing his helmet from under the backpack and turning towards Effy again, leaving the classroom with her. The pair walked down the hall, weaving through their classmates. Once they walked through the front doors and felt the cool, crisp air hit their faces, Effy spoke. "You think we should buy them a card or something?" Carlos opened his mouth to tease her suggestion, then stopped. His nose was scrunched, and he was clearly thinking hard about something._

"_No," Carlos answered, shaking his head. He grinned, pointing towards the end of the street. "Let's get them candy! Nothing makes you feel better like candy!" Effy tilted her head, watching her rambunctious friend bounce around excitedly. She glanced over to where the other kids were walking to, thinking about Oliver. His class was kept inside, and usually their mother would have to go in and fetch him. Since Effy had made friends, she was allowed to go off and play with them. It was nice not having to be responsible for her brother all the time, but Effy still felt a twinge of guilt for leaving him behind so much. He complained about having little time to spend with her lately. Thinking it over, she wondered if getting him some candy would be the remedy to their problem._

"_Okay, why not?" Effy finally responded. Carlos jumped into the air victoriously, and when Effy tried to walk ahead of him, she felt him running up behind her. She didn't expect him to collide into her though. Carlos ducked between her legs, lifting her onto his back clumsily. "CARLOS!" Effy yelped, locking her arms around his head to keep from falling. Carlos held onto her legs to keep them from dangling at his sides, but he continued to run, even as she protested against it. "No! Carlos, put me down! You're gonna drop me! You're gonna drop me! Stop it! I'm gonna fall!" She shouted these phrases again and again as Carlos raced down the sidewalk with her, jumping over ledges and bounding towards the supermarket. Effy's grip on him remained tight, and she feared the worst as he ran, knowing he was prone to falling._

_Carlos' helmet hit Effy's chin a few times as he ran, and quickly she learned just to keep her head near his shoulder as to not form a bruise. She gripped his arms tight the few times he stumbled, but he never completely fell. The supermarket wasn't too far away from them now. Sherwood was small even for the nine-year-olds, and the distance from the school to the store wasn't ridiculously far. At last, Carlos slowed to a casual walk, pausing to let Effy down. She eagerly jumped from his back, grateful to feel to concrete beneath her feet._

"_I knew I wouldn't drop you!" Carlos boasted, grinning as he walked with Effy into the store. "Come on!" Taking Effy's hand, he led her towards the back of the store, into the isle that contained all of the candy. There was only a small section that took up one half of the isle, but every kid in Sherwood loved the store for it. Jolly Ranchers, Life Savers, caramel squares, Twizzlers, Snickers, Twix, and various other familiar wrappers decorated the section; Effy and Carlos stared, their mouths agape. Budding with excitement, Carlos began grabbing handfuls of the chocolates, thinking more about what he wanted than what the rest of the boys might've liked. Effy's eyes scanned through the brands of licorice, pausing when she finally found the Pull-and-Peel Twizzlers. Grabbing a package, she smiled._

"_These are James' favorites, remember?" Effy reminded Carlos, seeing him pick up a package of peanut M&M's and tuck it in his pocket. He shrugged, not recalling what Effy was telling him. Now that she thought about it, she knew he wouldn't remember. He wasn't even there when she found out. Only a month ago, her mother and James' mother made them dress as matching Lego's for Halloween. After departing with their friends, James and Effy sat on the stoop of his house, trading the candy they had collected. That was when he told her he'd never trade Twizzlers, just because they were such a favorite of his._

_Pocketing more caramels and taffy's, Effy and Carlos failed to notice the store clerks watching them. Since Sherwood was so small, all of the town knew that their sheriff had a son. Most of them even knew what he looked like. The store clerk watching Carlos and Effy knew almost immediately who Carlos was, and upon seeing him pocket the candy, called his father. Outside of the store, the police car had pulled up, and Officer Garcia was stepping out. Carlos tossed a stray piece of candy at Effy playfully, and her face scrunched before she tossed a piece back in retaliation. The kids were too busy playing to realize what was going on around them. As the two tossed candy at one another, the store clerk and Carlos' father approached them. He cleared his throat, and upon hearing this, both Effy and Carlos froze._

"_Son, would you care to explain?"_

_Carlos and Effy exchanged glances, dropping the sweets in their hands. As his father pulled out a pair of handcuffs, Carlos bit down on his lip and stared apologetically at Effy. He'd knew what was coming - having been in similar trouble before - so he faced it with more of a calmness than Effy. Her eyes were bulging from their sockets. How would she tell the boys? What were they going to say?_

_Even worse, what would her mother say?_

Carlos chuckled, remembering how Effy shrieked at him when everything was all said and done. She was reluctant to go through with any of his ideas from that day on. While Carlos pondered the memory of that incident, Kendall had turned the page, looking at more photos. Flipping through a few more pages, Kendall paused, finding a picture that put his own memories into perspective. He didn't look any older than fourteen, and he smirked at the long, shaggy hairstyle he used to love. His arm was around Effy, and her head peered around the fake infant she held up, staring at it with a comical fear. This was a photo from their Freshman year. Since they were required to have at least half a credit in a family and consumer science class, their options were cooking, or learning how to sew and take care of a baby. Carlos, Logan, and James made it into the culinary class, while Kendall and Effy were moved to family development.

_Students filed into the classroom, and the bell rang, signifying the start of school. Kendall's eyes darted around worriedly, seeing the seat beside him was empty. Effy was absent? Of all days for her to be sick, did it have to be today? Ms. Doyle, the annoyingly perky family development teacher, stood at the front of the class, surrounded by baby carrier seats. Neatly cradled in the seats were the artificial babies the class was supposed to care for. Effy had been Kendall's partner from the beginning, but if she wasn't here, Kendall would most likely be forced to work with someone else. Pushing his hair from his face, he sighed._

"_Sorry I'm late, Ms. Doyle! Oliver was a little sick this morning…"_

_Hearing Effy's voice, Kendall's glum spirit suddenly stirred into relief. His head jerked around, and he saw Effy walking towards their table, wiping the raindrops from her hair. She set her book bag down, sheepishly smiling at him as she took her seat. Their teacher continued her explanation of the assignment, picking up one of the babies. Neither Effy nor Kendall had been looking forward to this part of the class, but at the very least, they had each other to go through it with. There wasn't a doubt in their mind the boys would give them hell for having an artificial baby to carry around, but as long as they could survive the assignment, they didn't care._

"_Once you get your baby, do __**not**__ turn on the switch. We will turn them on together at the end of class, when the project begins." Ms Doyle instructed. Kendall suppressed his snickers at the latter half of her instructions, his mind turning it into something perverted. Effy immediately caught on, and gave his shoulder a small push. He nudged her back, a chuckle escaping. Thankfully though, Ms. Doyle chose to ignore it. She began setting a baby carrier on each table, until the reached the table in front of Kendall and Effy. The last two carriers she held were set in front of the kids at the table, and she smiled broadly. "Congratulations! You have twins!" The kids groaned, rolling their eyes when the teacher turned to get the remaining baby from the front of the classroom. Ms. Doyle motioned to her student aid to begin passing out the birth certificates and diapers, clearly excited to begin the first steps of the project. "After Samantha gives you the diaper, practice putting it on your baby. Then you can get to the fun part! Naming your child!" Everyone gave an unenthusiastic cheer, and Kendall reached out, spinning the baby carrier so he could get a better view of their "child"._

_It was an ugly plastic toy, simply put. The features were detailed well enough, but it was obviously fake. Honestly, Effy thought it looked creepy - almost as if it would sprout red hair, come to life, and start stabbing everyone. She picked up the birth certificate, which was really more of an information sheet. It had a blank space for the name, and under it there was a space for the birthday. No prints, or symbols - just the decorative border and the two spaces for the name and birthday. Her eyes trailed over to Kendall, seeing him pulling the blanket off of the naked infant. He looked at it's hands and feet, suddenly grinning._

"_Five, five, five, five, one - YES! It's a boy!" Kendall shouted, throwing his fist in the air triumphantly. Effy giggled, shaking her head and pulling a pen from her bag. She filled in the date on the birth certificate, assuming they were supposed to put the current date. It didn't matter to her, and she knew it wouldn't matter to Kendall. He peered over her shoulder, holding the diaper in his hand. "So what are we naming it? I'm all for Peter Parker." His goofy grin wasn't something Effy could say no to. Shaking her head at his ridiculous approach to their assignment, she filled in the name. It honestly made no difference to her. The sooner they got the project over with, the better. Upperclassmen always complained about how much of a drag the assignment was, and no one wanted a part of it._

"_Here, give me that…" Effy commanded, taking the diaper from Kendall. She spread it out on the table, flattening any wrinkles with her palm. Once she was satisfied, she lifted the baby and carefully placed it on top of the diaper. Pulling up the straps, she folded it over, tying the loose ends together and making sure they were secure. Kendall watched, his eyebrows raised. He had changed Katie's diaper once or twice, but he was never so skillful at it the way Effy seemed to be. Perhaps it was just a girl thing. Seeing his expression, Effy explained. "Oliver wore diapers for a really, really long time. I kinda had to learn after a while." There was a moment of awkward silence, and Kendall didn't know what to say to break it._

_**Please let something happen.**__ Kendall thought, biting his lip._

"_Mr. Knight! Miss Valmont! Stand up please!" Ms. Doyle ordered. The pair exchanged glances, shrugging before they stood at their table. "Let's do some role playing! Effy, you've just found out you're pregnant. How do you handle the situation? You know Kendall's the father -" Everyone in the classroom began to laugh, and Effy's cheeks burned. "- so what do you do? Tell him? How? And Kendall! How do you respond?" Ms. Doyle clapped her hands together, motioning for them to start their role play._

_**This wasn't what I had in mind.**__ Kendall would've taken the awkward silence over this. __**Oh well. Might as well make the best of it.**_

"_Er… Um," Effy began nervously, her face only a few shades away from matching her hair. Kendall wanted to laugh, but knew Ms. Doyle would throw a fit if they broke character - as if it were theater class. "Okay, Kendall. I'm pregnan-" Effy couldn't even get the complete statement out. Wanting to have some fun with the teacher, Kendall dramatically pressed his finger to Effy's lips, swiftly lifting her bridal-style in his arms._

"_I know, Elizabeth, and I love you!" he nearly shouted, spinning around with her. Effy's eyes were wide, and Kendall winked assuringly at her. Getting the gist of his behavior, Effy smirked and played along. Her hand flew to her forehead, and she arched back._

"_But darling, how will I finish school? How will I do anything with a baby? We're stuck!" she cried melodramatically, earning more cackles from their peers. Ms. Doyle frowned, seeing where the two were going with their fun._

"_Alright, enough! Sit down!" she demanded, clearly annoyed. Kendall set Effy down, laughing with her at their horrible acting. Ignoring what Ms. Doyle was saying, he picked up their baby and began examining it. The switch that activated the baby was on its' back, and upon seeing how obvious it was, Kendall wondered if they were going to get clothes to put on the baby. Effy watched him move the baby around, unable to believe he was shaking it so much. Though she wanted the assignment to be over, she didn't want to fail it. The point was to treat this baby like a normal baby, and she certainly wouldn't hold a baby upside down by its' leg._

"_Kendall!" Effy whispered loudly, hitting his shoulder. Kendall, surprised by her sudden hit, dropped the baby. Seeing it hit the table, Effy couldn't stop the laugh, and she covered her face, shaking her head incredulously. "We're going to fail!" She couldn't stop her giggles. Though failure was certain, Kendall was making it worthwhile. His comical nature never let her stress over anything for long, which was why she was grateful to have him as her partner._

"_Chill, Eff. It won't even start to matter until we turn on the switch." Kendall informed her, certainty in his voice. He looked back up to Ms. Doyle again, embarrassed when he realized the entire class had gone silent, and even the teacher had stopped talking because he and Effy were so loud. Her arms were folded over her chest, and the clicking of her shoe against the linoleum was the only sound in the room._

"_Actually, Mr. Knight, the new hyper-sensitivity features allow the baby to record its' treatment up to an hour before the switch is turned on." Ms. Doyle announced, saving her smug smile until the end of her statement. Kendall's eyes were wide, and his happy expression gradually fell. Effy let her head sink onto the table._

_Needless to say, they were failing._

Kendall shook his head, vividly remembering how annoying raising the fake baby had been. They ended up giving it shaken baby syndrome, or something along those lines. Of course, they weren't the only ones. It turned out, no freshman made a suitable parent. They could've just as easily written a paper about that, because none of them were idiots, but failing a project seemed to work for Ms. Doyle just as well. Sighing, Kendall reached his arm over Carlos' shoulder, pulling him in for another side hug.

"Effy's gonna be fine. I promise," Kendall finally stated, breaking the miserable silence. He always said to never make a promise that couldn't be kept. This one was no exception. When Carlos realized that, a small grin replaced his frown, and he closed the photo album.

* * *

Only the dim light of the sunrise guided James through the empty hallway. He finally reached the elevator, and the bright light inside made him squint. Rubbing the last of the sleep from his eyes, he pressed the button that would take him to the fifth floor, and waited. Logan had stayed all night at the hospital, and James couldn't help but wonder if he got any sleep. God knew _he_ hadn't. He tossed and turned all night, thinking not only about Logan, but about Effy as well. Kendall and Carlos had to have been awake as well - they weren't so loud in their sleep before. All James could do was stare at the ceiling and worry. He knew just as well as the other boys did that Effy was going away. He didn't like it, and he wanted to keep fighting it, but now was the time to finally throw in the towel. It had been that way for a long time, he just never wanted to admit it.

Seeing the hall was considerably brighter on the fifth floor, James exited the elevator as the doors opened, searching for the door that led to the stairs. The boys had been to the roof on several occasions, but going up alone was unusual. After seeing what Effy did to herself, James was almost afraid of what he could possibly find. However, he knew Logan wouldn't be so extreme as to take his own life. Jogging up the stairs, James pushed open the door that led to the roof. Immediately, the scent of smoke wafted through the air around him, and he grew concerned. Slowly stepping away from the door, Logan came into view. His back was to James, and he was standing in front of a large metal garbage can. Smoke was rising from the can, as was a growing flame.

When Logan didn't return to the apartment, he instead went to Effy's. The door hadn't been locked, and he was able to easily walk in. Feeling bizarrely out of place, he crept through the apartment, stopping outside of Effy's bedroom door. It was open, but he was nervous about seeing what lay on the other side again. His memory of Effy was vivid, far more detailed than he would've liked. Inhaling deeply, Logan stepped through the doorway. His breath caught in his throat upon seeing the broken glass scattered around the floor. A large, dark red orb was stained in the carpet, and Logan could almost see Effy sitting lifelessly in the center of it all. He wanted to throw up again, but kept the bile stomached. For a long time, he stood in his spot, staring at the broken glass. What he was doing in Effy's room, he didn't know. There was no reason for him to be there, but something had drawn him to the location.

All the answers became clear when Logan looked up and saw the bathroom door. Gritting his teeth, Logan's mind went blank as he shoved the door open, absorbing every detail. Laid out across the counter was more broken glass, and some of it crunched under his feet. The small case of contacts was on the floor, and the doors under the sink were open. Logan saw the boxes of black hair dye, and another red wig. He saw everything Effy used to keep her identity hidden. His fists clenched, and his nails almost broke into his skin. Angrily, Logan stormed out of the room, grabbing the garbage can from the kitchen and dragging it back to the bathroom. He ignored the shattered glass beneath him, yanking the boxes of hair dyes and cosmetics from underneath the sink and slamming them into the trashcan. The soft feel of the wig in his hands made him pause, but after a moment, he shook the thoughts of Effy from his head and tossed the wig in with the hair dye. Picking up the case of contacts, Logan looked for the needles, and once he found them, they were thrown away as well. Finding nothing else that reminded him of Dexter, he pushed the can into the bedroom.

Tearing the drawers from the dresser, Logan found the dark clothes that he knew would belong to Dexter, heaping them onto his arm before throwing the load away. He searched through the closet, on the nightstand, and in the living room for any trace of Dexter, discarding anything he found. The final thing he threw away was the black leather jacket that hung on the coat rack. Not stopping to catch his breath, Logan opened the front door a little wider, towing the now heavy trash bin out. He had filled it almost to the top with anything related to Dexter. Though his arms wanted to give out, he dragged the garbage can down the hall and to the elevator. His break from dragging the heavy can didn't last long, and when the elevator let him out on the fifth floor, he determinedly hauled it down the hall and up the stairs. The burning pain in his muscles ached horridly, and a cool sweat broke out across his forehead. Even then, Logan didn't stop. He kept on until he reached his destination, gasping for breath once the garbage can was successfully on the center of the roof.

Once he caught his breath, Logan lifted the leather jacket, pushing aside a few shirts before finding the lighter he'd thrown in. Lifting the shirt, he clicked the lighter, holding the flame against the fabric until it was ignited. The fire cackled lightly, and Logan dropped the shirt into the can, watching the bright orange blaze slowly spread. The cackling soon became louder, and the flame grew larger. Logan could feel the heat blowing into his face, carried up by the breeze. He stared down at the fire disdainfully, his fists clenched tighter now. Hearing the door that led back inside opening and closing, Logan chose to ignore it. He merely continued to watch the clothes and other items burn.

"Logan?"

It was James. Logan didn't turn around. His eyes narrowed, burning not from the smoke or heat, but from tears. Everything was hitting him. Effy was going to Meridell Achievement Center. She was going to be treated for her mental illness, but as good as it was, Logan had failed her. He loved her so much, and it was killing him. He failed with saving her from herself, and had he not been so stubborn, things could've gone much better. James approached him, and Logan felt himself crippling under the weight of the situation. Effy could've died. She didn't, but even so, there was the chance because of him. His failure was crushing him. Why hadn't he done the responsible thing? Why was this situation handled so differently than any other in his life? He was supposed to be responsible. He was supposed to have all the answers. It frustrated him not to know what was going to happen next. Any other time there was uncertainty, he had the boys… but now he was all alone. This was his fault.

"FUCK!" Logan exploded, his legs giving out. He felt himself falling, but he never made contact with the cold ground. James knew his brother was weak, but it only just occurred to him how much pain Logan had to be going through. He ran to his best friend, catching him before he could completely fall. There were several occasions where he'd done this, but now it was different. It was all he could do to keep from crumbling just as well. Logan was the weakest of the group after Carlos, and James knew that. As he bawled like a small child, James held on to him. Logan would've fallen if he hadn't, and though James was always so independent and seemingly careless, he could never let a friend fall. "I fucking tried… I tried!" Logan gasped out these protests between sobs, and James hugged him tight. He could feel the tears forming in his own eyes, quickly obscuring his vision. Roughly kissing the top of Logan's head, James allowed a few tears to streak down his cheeks, knowing there was no use fighting it. He couldn't just console his friend. Not when he himself was equally as emotionally weak.

Logan continued to weep, finally letting out all of his frustrations and misery. James managed to compose himself after a minute, but still held on to the scrawny brunette. His brother needed the support, and he had always been there for James. At last, James could return the favor. Whatever amount of time passed, neither boy kept a tab on. They watched the flames grow, brightening the area more than the sunrise, and followed the trail of smoke into the sky. Eventually, the blaze died out, fading into nothing as the sun rose higher. The last of the darkness was gone, with the sun now fully out, and all that was left in the trashcan was ash. Logan's eyes were sore, and he wiped the dampness from them as he stood up on his own. James placed a hand on his shoulder, staring at the ash. The two stood silent for a long while.

"It's just as much my fault as it is yours, Logan." James finally stated, breaking the quiet. Logan stared up at him doubtfully, wishing he could believe his friend. Seeing the skepticism in Logan's face, James continued. "It's true. We all saw she needed help. Any one of us could've told someone, but we didn't. I… I knew I should've, and I still didn't. I was so close." Now, Logan was curious. James wasn't just saying things to make him feel better. He was going to say something that he'd kept in for too long, and Logan could feel it coming. "You remember when our Sophomore class had that talent show? It was after that… When you couldn't find us…"

_James and Effy stood side by side, waiting for the song to start. Their entire class was watching them, not expecting anything special. It was either go to the talent show, or sit in the cafeteria for an hour. No one wanted to sit boredly in an area that reeked of terrible food, so naturally, everyone chose the auditorium. James and Effy were the last act, and Effy was too nervous for words. James initially had wanted to sing for the show, but everyone knew of his vocal abilities. What he really wanted, was to go out with a bang. He knew upon seeing Effy the day the sign up sheets were passed out what he wanted. He wanted not only to wow the crowd with singing, but dancing as well. He wanted it to be exactly like a concert. After bringing it up with Effy, she seemed reluctant, but with enough pestering, she finally caved in and agreed. Feeling too grateful to express, James allowed her to chose the song and have full control over the choreography._

_Though she didn't want to tell him, Effy knew James wouldn't be able to just jump into singing and dancing. He would sound winded, and be disappointed in himself. Therefore, she went with a simple song. The only problem with the simplicity of it, was how it went from slow to fast and back again. There would have to be parts where the dancing was intimate, and James would definitely misunderstand that. She didn't mean intimate in a lustful way at all. She meant there was going to have to be passion, and plenty of heart in what they were doing. Effy took her dancing seriously, and she knew she was going to have to teach James to do the same._

_Day after day, Effy took up every single spare moment James had to hammer the choreography into his brain, and make sure his heart was always completely in it. Through their practices though, when it came to the slower parts, they would share awkward chuckles or look away. During practice was the only acceptable time. They both understood that once they got on stage, everything would have to be professional. As the last day of school - the day they were to shine in front of everyone - neared, their practice sessions became more intense, and more serious. Logan, Kendall, and Carlos weren't allowed to see it until the day of the show, and being the good friends they were, they respected Effy and James' request to keep everything a surprise._

_Now that day was upon them__._

_**I only have memories of you. We were just kids, we met at a school.**_

_James sang as the music started, and Effy gracefully glided around him, taking his hand and allowing him to dip her back. Effy wore her white, form-fitting leotard, and a wispy, thin white skirt to match. James wore his black sweatpants, and black tank. Their wardrobe wasn't meant to be important, but without even realizing it, they made the contrast look magnificent. As the song proceeded with its' slow beginning pace, the two twirled around, linking their hands back together. Their adagio was slowly ushering them into the song, preparing them for what was to come. James lifted Effy by her waist, and she pointed her legs out perfectly. She was prepared for the tempo change._

_**Did I waste too much time? Did you make up your mind?**_

_Suddenly, the music boomed louder, and James dropped Effy. She landed perfectly, keeping her feet pointed. All of the ballet skills she'd learned were paying off. Swiftly, she performed a triple spin around James, stopping at his side. He took her tiny waist in one hand, and her arm in the other. Effy leaped up, quickly wrapping her legs around his abdomen. He released her arm, letting her fall back. She was completely perpendicular to him, and her eyes squeezed shut as she fought to keep her posture perfect. James turned slowly, kicking off from his right and landing in the same spot. He held Effy's waist again, lifting her effortlessly back into the air and sinking to the ground. They were facing each other, and the audience was to the side of them._

_**I wonder what you are like today, and if I'll ever get to feel your face.**_

_As James sang the lyric, his hands moved up to Effy's face, and she craftily rose to her feet. James followed after her, pulling her back by her hand and twirling her into his arms. Her held her close, then dipped her back, swaying her up in a full circle. Their hands finally broke contact, and James slid onto the floor. Effy froze, her chest turned up to the ceiling. They were still in that position for only a few seconds. In flawless synchronization, they body rolled to face the crowd, rotating their shoulders back twice before contracting their torsos into 'c' shapes and releasing._

_**If I could go back, I'd change a lot of things…**_

_Now James leaped up, chasséing to Effy and firmly taking hold of her waist. He threw her into the air, and she spun, landing back in his arms neatly. She was mouthing the counts subtly, keeping in perfect time with the music. James continued to sing, following Effy and keeping tab on the counts just as she had taught him. Before her, he knew nothing of counts. He assumed just moving to the music was good enough. Regardless, he was now grateful for what she'd taught him. Keeping a straight face, James dived into the allegro part of the dance, stopping in perfect arabesque as Effy approached him with her own cabriole._

_**I'd change our course, I'd change our time.**_

_Effy's face was in close proximity of James'. He stepped back on his left foot, perfectly achieving a double turn. Landing back on his left, he overcurved to his right, this time performing a triple turn. Effy pulled out her pony tail, throwing aside the hair clip. The candy apple red locks flew gracefully around her face, and she held out her arms as if she were flying._

_**And maybe one day you will hear this song…**_

_Lowering her back down to eye level, James and Effy faced each other again, the crowd to their right. His breath was hot on her face, and the song slowly came to a close._

_**I just hope that it won't take too long.**_

_The music faded, and once it was completely gone, the auditorium was silent for only a moment. Cheering and howls erupted from the students, and James' smile stretched broadly across his face. Effy felt her cheeks warming up, and she stole a glance at her friend. He took her hand, holding it up, and the two bowed. Some of the students stood up, clapping fiercely. In the center of the seats, Logan, Kendall, and Carlos were jumping, roaring the loudest for their friends._

"_Wow." Effy breathed. James squeezed her hand, and as the superintendent that was directing the show stepped onto the stage, the pair walked off. No prizes were given out (seeing as the principals insisted __**everyone**__ was a winner), but instead the show was officially announced over, as was the school day. Backstage, James and Effy could hear everyone screaming, and could just imagine them filing out of the auditorium and into the school-free summer air. They hurriedly found the makeshift dressing rooms (which was more or less a shower curtain for each of the stalls behind the space for props and sets) they had used, switching back into their normal clothes. As they exited the auditorium, James and Effy expecting to find Carlos, Logan, and Kendall. Instead, they saw Rebecca Smith, Adrian Thatcher, Griffin Zimudo, and Rob Danvers - four fairly popular students._

"_James! Hi, wow, you were amazing!" Adrian squealed, her adoring eyes glued to James. She didn't even seem to notice Effy beside him. Griffin and Rob did, however, and subtly looked her over._

"_You were too, Elizabeth." Rebecca interjected, smiling brightly. Effy opened her mouth to correct her, but Adrian began speaking again. Her voice annoyed Effy to no end, but she made no comment out of respect. Adrian was the type of girl Effy was polar opposites with. She had confidence, but came off as a complete snob most of the time - whereas Effy was too shy to speak, but when she did, she had nothing but kind words to share._

"_So, there's this rave a little ways outside of town. Across the bridge, you know? In Parks' Place? The warehouse? Anyway, it's gonna be totally boss, and everyone's gonna get slizzard!" Adrian announced, knowing James was the type to party. He'd die before he failed to show up at any hot party, and though his friends disapproved, he couldn't see himself not going. It was just a part of his personality. "You're totally coming, right?" The question hung in the air for what seemed like ages. Effy was still right beside him, and James didn't know what to say._

"_Elizabeth, you should come too!" Rebecca exclaimed, much to James and Effy's shock. Adrian didn't seem pleased with her friend, but played it off by shrugging indifferently._

"_I- I don't - I… My clothes. It's not… You know, raving." Effy fibbed, quickly coming up with an excuse. This seemed good enough for Adrian, but not Rebecca._

"_Nonsense! You look fine! I wore sweatpants once to a rave - totally bad idea, but you know what I'm getting at." she argued. Adrian rolled her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. Effy's eyes darted to James, and he met her gaze._

"_Excuse us, for just a sec." James stated, taking Effy's arm and pulling her away from the group. She was clearly dead-set against going, but James had other plans in mind. "Eff, I know this isn't your thing, but… try it just once. For me? I'd really appreciate it if you went with me! It sucks going without you and the guys, and I've been dying for a chance to convince at least one of you to go. Please, Eff!" His words came out quickly, but Effy caught them. She wasn't sure what she was comfortable doing. Logan, Kendall, and Carlos had to have been waiting for them somewhere. Sure, James had blown them off before, but it would be a first for her. When she looked back at James, Effy saw that he was giving her one of his many pouting stares. She frowned, shaking her head._

"_Really James?" Effy demanded, rolling her eyes when he wouldn't give up. After a long moment, she sighed. "I'm not staying long, and neither are you. I finally convinced my mom I had girl friends and I would spend the night at their house, just so you, me, and the guys could have our pizza, video game night. Two - if you've been counting - things I've been begged to do. You boys are __**all**__ dancing one of these days!" Hearing the confirmation in her voice, James clapped his hands together, grinning satisfactorily._

"_Alright! We're going!" James shouted, wheeling around the face the four. Effy observed everyone's expression, knowing that Adrian was the least happy about her joining the group. Rebecca seemed thrilled, and Rob and Griffin gave her small grins that only unsettled her. The four walked towards their car, and James took Effy's hand, leading her along. He could see her apprehension, but really didn't want her to change her mind. Leaning down, he whispered into her ear, "Relax, okay? I'll keep an eye on you." Hearing this, Effy felt her nerves calm just a little, and she smiled up at James._

_Piling into the car, Effy ended up having to sit on James' lap. It was either his, or Griffin's. Rebecca sat between them, while Adrian rode shotgun and Rob drove. Everyone was talking about something or another, but Effy kept quiet. She was anxious about her first rave, and she couldn't help but wonder what the rest of the boys would say. Carlos would easily let it go, Kendall would be surprised, and Logan would most likely scold her. He'd done so with James plenty of times, and that was the thing really making Effy want to turn and go home. She was uncomfortable watching James endure his lectures! She wouldn't be able to take one herself. While these thoughts circled around in her head, Rob sped up on the highway, soon crossing the bridge that linked Sherwood to the short strip of country the state had. He turned off of the highway, taking a worn dirt road through the trees. The drive had passed to quickly for Effy's liking. She was stuck on trying to figure out how her friends would react once they learned she had accompanied James to a rave, and time escaped her. Now she was panicking again._

_Rob slowed as they neared the warehouse, and Effy could see dozens of other parked cars. Her hand was on James' shoulder, and it tightened. He didn't fail to notice. Assuringly, James pulled her in closer, squeezing her wrist. He said he was going to keep an eye on her, and he meant it. Effy was his best friend after all - he wouldn't let her get hurt. She turned her head to face him, and as she met his gaze, she was able to calm down again. Deep down, Effy knew she was in good hands. James wouldn't just let her fall through the cracks. He meant what he said._

"_We're here! Finally!" Adrian groaned, leaping out of the car. James opened the door, and Effy crawled out, waiting for him. He was by her side in an instant, knowing how afraid she was. His first rave was a distant memory, but he knew he was just as nervous as she was. James walked Effy inside, and she could feel the booming music vibrating through her__. People were clustered around, holding red or blue plastic cups and jumping around to the music. There were kegs near the entrance, and cups already filled that were being passed out as people entered. Someone handed a cup to Rebecca, Griffin, Rob, and Adrian as they entered, and the four accepted them easily. When a blue cup was handed to James, he glanced at Effy, then took it. She was handed a red one, but simply stared at the outstretched hand._

"_Come on Effy, just a sip. You look like you could use something to drink. It'll calm you down a little," James insisted, taking the cup for her. They walked further into the warehouse, but Effy was still only staring at the drink. "Would you rather I find you a soda or something?" The relief that washed over her face almost made James laugh. He ruffled her hair, much to her annoyance, and set her cup on the ledge above them. They had stopped by a wall, somewhat away from the crowd. Effy found she liked the seclusion. So many people crowded into one place was making her uneasy. "I'll be right back. Stay put!" His tone was teasing, and he left to find something Effy would be happier drinking. Maneuvering through the few people that stood around the tables, James approached the greasy man handing things out. "Hey! Dude, you have like… soda or something back there?" The man cocked his head to the side, then grinned._

"_Yeah man, here, white cups!" he hollered. He sounded blown out of his mind, but James didn't question it. The bubbles that fizzed in the drink gave away that it was soda. It was a light green, which he recognized as Mountain Dew. Effy rather liked that soda, and he knew she'd be pleasantly surprised. Taking a sip from his cup, he found Effy where he'd left her, and handed her the drink. She gave him a grateful smile, taking a deep gulp from the beverage. "Come on, we can dance." James took another drink, moving into the crowd with Effy. The songs' heavy drum and bass was easy enough to count to, and the two danced with the crowd. Neither knew how long the song would go on, but after four minutes, they decided it didn't matter. Effy sipped and sipped at her drink until it was gone, as did James. Once they were out, they went back to the tables for more. This time, James got a Heineken from the icebox, easily popping the lid off of the bottle. Effy got another cup of soda. This time, it was Sprite._

_Returning to the dance floor, Effy and James continued to move their bodies to the music. Occasionally, Rebecca would appear, and offer them a hit from her pipe, but only James took it. Effy watched how comfortable he seemed around all of it, finding it easier to accept than she'd expected. Of course, the entire rave was a lot easier than she assumed it would be. There was really no harm in it if one stayed sober, and that's exactly what she was doing. The only thing that seemed to happen, was the music getting to her. It was gradually making her dizzy, but she didn't want to stop dancing. As she got dizzier, the colors of the lights in the room began to fade into each other._

"_Eff, I'll be back in a minute! I've gotta go to the bathroom." James informed her, pulling her from her trance. Effy nodded, watching him walk off. Quickly, he became a blur in the crowd, and Effy couldn't stop herself from losing control of her body to the beat. Sweat covered her body, and she didn't even realize it. She couldn't feel the heat in the building. She could only feel the rush that came with movement. Her mouth dried faster now, and she drank the last bit from her cup. Realizing it was empty, Effy shook her head, trying to focus. The table wasn't too far away from what she could see. Figuring she could beat James back to their spot, she began her walk to the drinks._

_Meanwhile, James was leaving the restrooms. His high was decent, but he still had some sense to him. Walking down the few short steps, he pushed through the crowd, seeing the different colored cups. Only so many people had bottles now. Smirking as his eyes took in a few of the partiers, James thought to go for another drink. It wouldn't make too much of a difference - he'd only had a couple throughout the whole night. However, when James reached the table, he noticed something that made his heart sink into his stomach. The greasy man from earlier was preparing more white cups. He filled them with different sodas, then pulled out a little bag of pills, crushing them on the table before mixing them into the drink. James' eyes widened._

_He'd given Effy a spiked drink._

_Whatever high James had created for himself, he regretted it now. The room buzzed with noise, and it pounded against his eardrums. His eyes searched around frantically for Effy, but he couldn't spot the candy apple red hair in the mass of bodies. Worried, he pushed passed people, scanning the area he was in for any sign of his friend. As he looked, Effy was trying to walk back to her original spot. She stumbled as she drank from her cup, unsure as to why her legs weren't cooperating at the moment. Though, this concern didn't last long. She could feel herself wanting to move to the music. Giggling, she twirled around, her eyes closed. When she stopped on her left, Effy opened her eyes._

_Then she was scared._

_In front of her, the blurs of color began to become more distinct. Effy saw the faces of people, but they were misshapen and distorted because of all the motion. She tried to make them come into focus, but to no avail. Suddenly, she was frightened just as she'd been on the ride to the warehouse. Someone walked by her, and Effy swore it was a girl, but at the very last second, the figures' hair turned white and they transformed into a man. A few feet away from her, someone threw up, coughing violently. Effy tried running, but she could only make herself walk. People that she passed were wearing makeup that had slowly melted, making their faces look as though they were falling off. Some of them looked like clowns. That was too much._

_Effy screamed, her heart kicking into high-speed. She bolted through the crowd, running to the exit. Only when she screamed again did James spot her. He called out to her, but could barely hear himself over the deep bass line of the song. Fighting his way through the crowd, James stopped at the entrance, looking through the space for Effy. She wasn't there. His hands flew up to his head, and he pushed his hair back. Jogging outside, James' eyes moved over each space between the cars._

"_EFFY!" James called out, finally spotting the familiar red hair. Effy ignored him, however. She was far in the distance, almost disappearing behind the trees. James was suddenly grateful they were so scarce. Rubbing his eyes and trying to get his mind as focused as possible, James took off after her. She was running faster than he ever remembered her running before, but he always outran her. Effy bounded out of the forest, following the short dirt road back to the highway. There were more cars passing, but she paid no attention to them. Instead she leaped into the street, and the cars missed her by only a few inches. Effy screamed again, lost with all of the light suddenly blinding her. James sobered just a little more when he caught up and witnessed this. "EFFY, STOP!" His shouts did nothing for him._

_Still breathing heavily, trying to soothe her rapid heartbeat, Effy ran to the farther side of the bridge, leaning against the concrete. It came up to her waist, keeping her from falling off of the edge and down twenty feet into the water. The cool air of the night chilled the sweat that beaded her skin, and Effy shivered. Her eyes remained locked on the water below her though. Two minutes ago, she'd been dancing at a rave, having the time of her life. Now she was cold, leaning on the edge of a bridge. Thoughts slowly moved through her head as she acknowledged this, and she understood how fragile everything was. It wouldn't have made sense to her unless she had the high, and since she did, this concept seemed like secondhand knowledge. Effy inhaled deeply. She could be dead any second she wanted. That was how thin the line between life and death was, and all of these thoughts came simply from seeing the water below her. There was nothing more to it than that. It just made sense to her._

_So the real question was, which side of the line would Effy choose? Did she want to remain with all the scary things? Or would she die? What would happen in death? Something in her brain told her it would be better. Easier. Whoever that voice belonged to, it sounded right. It made Effy feel strong. She blinked, still staring over the edge. With one quick movement, she hopped onto the edge, standing with her arms spread out. The few cars coming or going around her honked, but none of them stopped. As quickly as traffic had gotten heavy, it became light again, and almost no one was there to stop her. No one except for James._

"_EFFY!" he yelled, his eyes widening as she leaned forward. She was going to jump. James forced his legs to go faster, and just as Effy's feet lost contact with the ledge, James grabbed her and pulled her back. He hadn't intended on using such force, but the adrenaline pumping through him couldn't be helped, They fell on the ground, James scraping his palms as he landed above Effy, trying not to completely fall on her. She hit the back of her head, and winced. Her eyelids were partially closed, but James could still see a small sliver of her blue-gray orbs. His heart thumped against his chest; he'd never felt such a fear before._

_There were more events that took place afterwards, but James would never be able to tell his friends. The most important part though, was that Effy had made her first attempt at suicide. James had written it off as a bad trip. He didn't realize that there was something deeper going on, and he was too afraid to look into it..._

"You let her have drugs?" Logan gasped once James finished his story. "Didn't you read - no, you don't read - but in History class! We learned about this! Those Hippies in the 70s - a large percent of them ended up in mental wards because of all the drugs they did! Some of that stuff stays in your system, and it messes with your brain! That couldn't have done any good for Effy at all, James!" He remembered the day after that situation - the first day of summer vacation. Effy was sick, so none of the boys saw her, and James seemed antsy. Logan was never able to piece it together, because the day after that, everything was alright again. Now it made sense though.

James was quiet. He allowed Logan to yell at him, because he knew he deserved it. Once Logan got it out of his system though, he was ready to move passed it all. James watched Logan for a few seconds to see if there was anything left he had to say. There wasn't, but he could see Logan was disappointed, which stung. He already felt guilty enough.

"I'm sorry… You know I am, Logan." James whispered, shoving his hands in his pockets. Logan met his gaze, and for a long while, they stared. Neither of them moved, and it seemed that neither of them blinked.

"Don't worry about it. There's nothing we can do now," Logan finally replied. James let out a small sigh of relief, approaching Logan and swinging his arm over his scrawny friends' neck. "That doesn't mean you can do that, James!" Ignoring Logan, James led him to the door.

"Whatever," he stated, walking inside. "Let's get Carlos and Kendall. We should say goodbye to Effy."

Walking back to the second floor, James and Logan found Kendall and Carlos leaving the apartment. Their shirts were the same ones they'd slept in, but instead of their pajama bottoms, they now wore jeans. Clearly, their minds were all on the same page for once. Without having to say a word, the boys exchanged knowing glances, and headed off.

Logan wasn't going to tell them Effy's secrets. He'd leave that last bit of control to her.

* * *

All of the papers were signed, and Mrs. Knight was able to check Effy out of the hospital. She knew she wasn't going home, however. For quite some time, she knew she should've gone to a psychiatric ward for help, and it was better late than never. Effy changed her clothes in the bathroom once the IV's were taken out, and she was unhooked from the heart monitor. Everything was moving by quickly, and she wasn't sure if it was because she was afraid of what the future held, or excited to be getting the treatment she'd so desperately wanted. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. Sighing, she left the bathroom, folding her hospital gown as she walked around the bed.

Effy's mind wandered to where the boys had gone after she said she was going to change clothes, and she mulled over each of their reactions. Carlos was utterly confused when he caught sight of her, but Kendall and James were harder to read. She knew they were angry, but knowing their natures, she couldn't decide whether the anger was directed at her for lying, or at themselves for not figuring things out. All the clues added up, now that they thought it over. Regardless, they didn't yell at Effy, which was what she had initially expected. Each of the boys slowly came to their own acceptance of her story, and when it happened, they gave her a look that told her nothing between them changed. They were all together. A family, just the way they were meant to be.

"Effy?" Oliver immediately captured his sisters' attention, and the sorrowful look on his face made her wince. She owed him more than an apology. She owed him so much time that he could never get back. Regret stirred in her heart, and upon seeing this in her eyes, Oliver quickly began speaking again. "Mrs. Knight says the doctor wants to have a checkup on my brain, like they did with you. They wanna make sure I'm okay, and if I'm not, I'll go with you to Meridell." He knew what all of that meant, but Effy couldn't believe it. She didn't want to accept that her actions could've potentially damaged Oliver as bad as she was damaged.

"When? When are they testing you?" Effy questioned, taking a seat on the bed. She patted the space beside her, motioning for her twin to join her. Oliver gladly obliged, leaning his head on Effy's shoulder when he took his seat. She wrapped her arm around him, squeezing him.

"The doctor said someone could do it today. Mrs. Knight is talking about it to him." Oliver answered, shrugging. Effy rested her head on top of his, and the siblings stared out of the window. "Effy…" He paused before finishing what he had to say, and for a moment, his face was blank. Oliver was trying to figure out how to say what was on his mind, which was something he'd never really had to do before. Everything came out with ease for him, but this was something he wasn't completely sure Effy would handle well. God knew he didn't want to leave his sister alone, but something told him his decision would be good for them. "If I don't have to go to Meridell with you, then I told Mrs. Knight I wanna go back to Sherwood. She said she'd call our old neighbor, you remember? Mrs. Willows? She might take me in until I get to be eighteen. Then we inherit Grandpa's house, and I can live there and get a job and be kinda normal." Oliver had plans, which Effy wasn't sure how to respond to. In all honesty, she was proud that her brother was so smart. On the other hand, she was also upset that he would leave her. Even though she hadn't been any better to him, it still pained her to know he'd walk away. However, she couldn't blame him. He'd always wanted to go home. Looking back, she could see it clearly.

"I'll miss you, Oliver." Effy whispered, kissing the top of her brothers' head. Oliver glanced up at her, then pulled away so he could face her. She stared up at him, just realizing how much taller he was than her. Oliver had done more growing that she could acknowledge in the past five months, physically and mentally. He was almost an adult, and definitely more ready for the adult world than she was. Seeing that his sister was on the verge of tears, Oliver lifted his hand to pull her in for a hug, but then paused. Thinking better of it, he let his hand fall back onto his lap. Effy needed a good cry. She always had.

At first, Effy fought against it. Oliver watched her eyes slowly turn pink and watery, and eventually, he wrapped his arms around her. Only then did she give in. Tears spilled from her eyes, cascading down her cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. He didn't pay any mind to it. Effy was just beginning her journey of recovery, and he would do anything to help her along. If she needed to scream and cry, he would be the shoulder for her to do it on. He was her brother, after all. While Effy wailed and lamented, occasionally whimpering out apologies to Oliver, he patted her back assuringly. She cried for a good ten minutes, never pausing or taking a break. By the time it was slowly ending, the top of Oliver's shirt was drenched. Effy's eyes were sore and red, and she wiped them clean, hiccupping as the heavier part of her guilt and misery left her. Once her breathing had regulated, Oliver placed both of his hands on her shoulders. Effy looked up to him, meeting his gaze. He was grinning, and it was one of the grins that made her feel like she was back at home where nothing hurt.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Effy. I promise."


End file.
